mahnavi's blog

I am back with My Collection VII !!

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 12:56:35 +0000

Hi Friends,

I am posting a blog after a long on request, so here I am with some of my collections hope you enjoy it reading….

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New Bride Speech

It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in- law arrives in the family, everything changes.

The new wife (progressive Indian woman), was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.

As expected she gave a speech, “My dear family,I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family, firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years.”

“What do you mean my child?” asked the father-in-law.

“What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws); Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND Those who used to clean should continue cleaning !!!

“And what are you here for Bahurani?” enquired the mother-in-law.

“AS FOR ME, I’M HERE JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON !!!”.
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One Liner

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

[8] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
        Dr: Get married.
        Man: Will it help?
        Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
       Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

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Finally an AARTI (Prayer) by a husband to his beloved wife: ( with English translation )

Jai ho, Jai ho, O Patni Rani, Karti ho tum man maani
(May you live long wife, the self willed wife)

Baat hamari hardam ho talti, hum utaaren teri aarti
(The one who never listens to us, we pray before you dear wife)

Tum saman balshali koi jag main nahi dooja
(No one is as powerful as you are in this world)

Hum toh hain balheen, tumahari Karen kiss tarah puja
(We are so powerless, tell us how should we worship you)

Hum se khana banwane wali, bartan manjwaane wali
(You make us cook and wash dishes)

Naukar sa hum ko dhutkaarti, O rani, hum utaren teri aarti
(You kick us like slaves, we pray before you dear wife)

Tum bachon ki amma pyaari, saas ki bitiya pyaari
(You are the lovable mom of the kids and your mom-in-law)

Kabhi agar tum rootho, kar do khatiya khari humari
(Whenever you get angry with us, you make the life hell for us)

Hum ko aksar hardkane waali, aankhen dikhane waali
(You often reprimand us, and give us rebuking glances)

Gussa tum hum par utarti, O rani, hum utaren teri aarti
(You release all your wrath upon us, we pray before you dear wife)

Dhoop deep kuch tumhe na sohe gar kapoor baati,
(Fragrant sticks, earthen lamps, incense all are for you dear wife)

Creame powder wali, lakhi lakhi tum kafi harshati
(You use tremenduous quantities of powders and creams cosmetics and feel happy)

Yun toh lagti ho bholi bhaali, lekin tum ho ek du-naali
(Though you look innocent but you are not less than any double barrel gun)

Boli ki goli hardam marti ho, O rani, hum utaren teri aarti
(You fire on us like a bullet, we pray before you dear wife)

Nish din mauj urane wali, humko tarsane wali
(Every day you play with his money while we die to quench our thirst for the money)

Saari kamai tum aakarti ho, O rani, hum utaren teri aarti
(Each and every penny is consumed by you, we pray before you dear wife)

Ye saari dhan-daulat teri, tera chandi sona,
(All this wealth is for you, all the gold and silver is devoted to you)

Hum toh kewal itna chaahe, tu naraj na hona
(We just wish that you may not get angry with us)

Hum ko ullu banane waali, ghar ki hey Laxmi aali,
(You have befooled us like an owl , you are our home's Lakshmi Goddess)

Sewak ko kahe phatkarti, O rani, hum utaren teri aarti
(Why are you kicking your slave, we pray before you dear wife)

My First Annivarsary…

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 05:40:39 +0000

1st July is the D-Day
Yes, its my Wedding Day….

Being this my first annivarsery,
It seems to be a love story…

I have my love of live so it makes more special,
Who always make every day lively and effortless…

Indeed she is not perfect,
As nobody in this world…

Nor me nor any body,
I don”t even like to have,better than her or worse than her….

I feel lucky to have such a lovely partner,
who lessen my burden and has been my strenth for four years now…

From the day of our courtship..
Its been a roller-coaster ride,
sweet memories, happiness, love and sorrow..
But still she is my pride….

I wish to be with her till my eternity…
Make her journey as smooth as possible…

I thank our parents, family member, friends and specially my ilander friends who showered their love me and Navi….

…….Mahen

God Listened Our prayer….. Thanks To All.!!!

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:37:47 +0000

Hi Friends,

First Of all I can”t wait any more to inform you all that Khushi is doing well and trying to recover as soon as possible.. I really thank you all for your wishes which has once again done a miracle for Shabdika.

I called her father yesterday and he informed me that she is feeling a bit fine now only concern is she is facing problem while urinating and otherwise all is well now. Then he asked me wether I would like to talk to her…. ( I was very much surprised and I was like really really really happy that I can talk to her on the very next day of surgery as I was expecting doctor would ask her not to use mobiles or any other such things….) she talked to me and her voice told me that she is very happy that she can hear…. Its an another example of Love, prayers and mental strength really do miracle….

I really Thank GOD and You All for the support, it would not have been possible without your wishes….

Everyone of you make this iLand very special with all your love and support….

God will surely bless all of you for bringing a smile to her child…

Aamin….

KHUSHI has Thanked you all for the support and love you showered on her.

with lots of love and regards,

Mahen and Navi……

Khushi is getting Operated…!!

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:16:45 +0000

Hi Friends, Thanks a lot for your support and for wishing KHUSHI to get well soon. Today KHUSHI (Shabdika) is getting oprerated, her operation has started around 7:00 - 7:30 am (this morning).

I pray to GOD for her well being and to be kind enough to bringa smile on her face. I am sure all my ilander friends wishes will be answered.

God Bless Her and you all….

Updated on Wednesday 11th June 2008:

Yesterday I had Talked to shabdika”s father she was sleeping by the time and doctors were yet to make a visit.. she is vomiting and finding problem in urination and that is the after effect of surgery… I think she will be under observation for few days…

Meri khushi ko aapki dua ki jaroorat…

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 05:15:12 +0000

Hi Friends,

Today once again I need your support and wishes for the well being of my KHUSHI in my life. I m so helpless that I need your help for this.

My dearest friend and kid sister KHUSHI called me up last friday night. Its been a long time since I had talked to her, before her call I was thinking of calling her but due to my forgetfullness it was getting delayed, so planned to call her in weekends. Finally I received a call from her last friday, I was so happy to hear her voice but at the same time feeling how to make her understand that last month I was too busy in my work and was off too my home town because of which I could not call her for a month and from last few days thought of calling her but kept forgetting…

She said..“Hello Mahen”

Me: “Helloooo…”

Khushi: ” Main tumse aur Navi se bahut naraz hoon…. Itne dino se call kyun nahin kiya…”

Me: “I m sorry Khushi.. Last month I was very busy and also went to visit my parents for 10 days… so could not call you dear…”

Khushi: “Thik hai… koi baat nahi but I was expecting your call and I m angry on you both (me & Navi).”

Me: “I am very sorry…. (I was feeling very guilty for not calling her…).”

Khushi: “Maine isliye call kiya ki baat karlun phir dubara kar paayun ya nahi..( That words from her jittered me…”

Me: (Intterupting her) “….Kyunnn? Kya hua…???”

Khushi: “On Monday I getting admitted to hospital for my surgery… on 10th June (Tuesday) morning.. my ear will get operated…”

Me: (Again intterupting her) “… so what? your surgery will be successful… whats the doctor are saying… success Percent kitni hai…” (My heart beat was getting faster and faster..)

Khushi: “doctors are saying……80% chances is there I will not be able to hear again or my auidible power will get very low…. and 20% chances are there it will be a successfull surgery….”

I got a BIG shock… I was quit for few second and then I tried to give her strength… “arre dekhna kuch nahi hoga sab thik hoga… I m sure you will be able to hear clearly and the surgery will be a SUPER DUPER successfull…”. I don”t know how much strength my words have given to her…

…..after few more talk we ended the call…

You must be thinking who is KHUSHI.. she is non other than our ilander freind SHABDIKA…. I know some of you know her very well…

Last year we all got united and flooded her GB with get well soon message (wishes..) and all your wishes had worked. I want this time also lets get united and pray for her well being… I am putting this post without her permission I hope she does not feel objected to this ( as she is strong enough to go through this and may not want to give all her friends to be tensed for her) …. I know some of you are very close to Khushi (Shabdika) and she might not have infromed you about her surgery so please don”t feel bad about it and just pray for her.

We (Me & Navi) just want our KHUSHI to be with us for entire life….

We need your help and I am sure you will extend your ever helping hands to me…

I may sound selfish but I need all your support.
If you want to visit her iland click on KHUSHI

Thanks and Regards,

Mahen and Navi.

Very very touching….

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Tue, 06 May 2008 07:57:23 +0000

Hi friends,
I got this in my mail and after reading this I could not stop tears to fall from my eyes. I don”t know wether it is true or just a story but its really very very touching story. I wish its just a imaginative story.
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The boy couldn”t have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, “I”m sorry, but you don”t have enough money to buy this doll.”

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: “”Granny,

are you sure I don”t have enough money?”"

The old lady replied: “”You know that you don”t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.”"

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

“It”s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.”

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus
can”t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my
mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.”

His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My Sister has gone to be with God.
Daddy
says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that
she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.”"

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet.
I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.”

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing.

He then told me “I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won”t forget me.”

“I love my mommy and I wish she doesn”t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.”

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I
quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “Suppose we check
again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?”"

“OK” he said, “I hope I do have enough..” I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it.
There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: “Thank you God for giving me enough money!”

Then he looked at me and added, “I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough
money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!”"

“I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn”t dare to ask God for too much.

But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.”"

“My mommy loves white roses.”

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn”t get the little boy out of my mind.

Then
I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a
drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young

woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away,
and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide
whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the
young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I
couldn”t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to
the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for
people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her
hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her
chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had
been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother
and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Man karta hai….

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Thu, 01 May 2008 05:47:42 +0000

~~~~~~~~~~~

Man karta hai….
Jannat se taron ko zameen pe le aaon…
Shayad unki chamak se desh mera chamak jaye…
Soyi aankhon mein roshni jaag jaye….
Mera desh aur mahan ho jaye….

Kisi jagah par Rashtra-waad ko khatam kare…
To kahin jaat paat ki doori…
Kabhi bhrastachaar jaise kitanu ko mare….
To kabhi Nari par hone wali attyachari ka gala ghote….

Man Karta hai…..
Jannat se taron ko zameen pe le aaun…
Shayad unki chamak se desh mera chamak jaye…
Soyi aankhon mein roshni jaag jaye….
Mera desh aur mahan ho jaye….

Jis desh ke logon ne…
Satyug mein Sita ko aag mein jhoka…
Kalyug mein aaj ek bachchi ko aag mein jhok rahe hain……
Jis desh ke logon ne…
Ganga ko maila kiya…..
Wo kya apni soch ko swach karenge…

Jis Rajya mein Ram ne janm liya….
Aaj log wahan Ravan ki dikhayi raah par chal rahe hain….
Chal kapat hinsa ko gale lagate dikh rahen hain….
Ram ke naam par Ravan ki puja kar rahe hain…

Man Karta hai…..
Jannat se taron ko zameen pe le aaun…
Shayad unki chamak se desh mera chamak jaye…
Soyi aankhon mein roshni jaag jaye….
Mera desh aur mahan ho jaye….

Bharat ko maata kehne wale…
Bharat ki Rajdhani pe Nari ko sare aam beaabroo kar rahen hain…
Hum padoshi desh se kya gila karen…
Hum khud hi desh ko barbaad kar rahen hai…

Kahin ek aas si nazar aati hai…
Kaash ye desh bhi kuch aisa hota….
Ek dweep sa sundar hota…
Jo na dharti par hai na Janaat par..
Hai kuch jannat sa jahan pyaar basta hai…
Wo koi aur nahi….
Hamara Apna rediff dweep hai…

Man Karta hai…..
Jannat se taron ko zameen pe le aaun…
Shayad unki chamak se desh mera chamak jaye…
Soyi aankhon mein roshni jaag jaye….
Mera desh aur mahan ho jaye…

**********************************
……Mahen
**********************************

From My Collection.. VI !!

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:29:41 +0000

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why
is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment,
but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.

But fingers don’t fing and
grocers don’t groce.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn’t it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English
is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light
off and you can turn a light out, but you can’t turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.

In
which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car
can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling
out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English
is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the
stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind
up this essay, I shall end it?

Tricky Plurals

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the

feminine, she, shis and shim.

Lets face it, English is a crazy language!

From My collection V…!!!

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 07:00:06 +0000

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Sindhi Jokes
============

Q) What is an “astronaut” sindhi called?
A) Chandwani

Q) What is a “simple” sindhi called?
A) Sadwani

Q) What is a “colorful” sindhi called?
A) Rangwani

Q) What is a “careless” sindhi called?
A) Parwani

Q) What is a “honest” sindhi called?
A) Sachanandani

Q) What is an “electric” sindhi called?
A) Bijlani

Q) What is an “advanced” sindhi called?
A) Advani

Q) What is a “technology oriented” sindhi called?
A) Tekchandani

Q) What is a “revolving” sindhi called?
A) Pherwani

Q) What is a “vibrating” sindhi called ?
A) Kampani

Q) What is a “weight lifting” sindhi called?
A) Tolani

Q) What is a “consenting” sindhi called?
A) Rajani

Q) What is a “hairy” sindhi called?
A) Keswani

Q) what is an always obliging sindhi called ?
A) Kriplani

Q) What is a sindhi called who believe in krishna ?
A) Goplani

Q) What is a “smelly” sindhi called?
A) Baswani

Q) Sindhi lawyer: Case-wani
Sindhi lawyer after a case: Purse-wani

Q)The blue-skier sindhi:
Akash-wani

Q)What is a communist Sindhi called?
A) Lalwani.

Q)What is a Sindhi who falls from the 3rd floor called?
A) Thadani.

Q)What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called?
A) Kriplani.

Q)What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called?
A) Marjani.

Q)What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis” to Hindustani Music ?
A) Raga Kirvani.

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Santa Jokes
============

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?

Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?

Doc: Haan, bilkul.

Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…

Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?

Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.

Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa: I”m falling in love.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?

Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised: “Free Delivery”

Santa asks: Who r u?

Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?

Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,

Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?

Santa: Can”t u read “Parking for two wheelers only”

Aisa…. Anokha rista jo tujhse ban gayaa…..

Mahendra Pratap Mishra — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:27:41 +0000

This post is dedicated to My Wife (life): NAVI

Aisa…..

Anokha rista jo tujhse ban gayaa,
Yun pal mein hi yadon mein bas gayaa…

Ankhon ne sab kehdiya….
labon ko kuch kehne hi na diya…

Ye khuda ka hi karishma thaa…
Jo tujhko bhi mujhse uss pal mein pyaar ho gayaa…..

Hum anjaan ek dusre se the…
Par Dilon ko ye ajnabi na jane kyun apne se lagne lage…..

Aisa….

Anokha rista jo tujhse ban gayaa,
Yun pal mein hi yadon mein bas gayaa…

Yakeen se bhi yakeen mera hath gayaa,
Itna khubsoorat ye jahan jo pal mein baan gayaa,

Na neend ki khabar thi na hi host ka tha pataa,
Teri hi soch mein har pal doobne main to lagaa…

Mere man aur tan ki kya kahoon…
Main khud Tujhpe Pehli nazar mein mar mitaa…

Aisa…..

Anokha rista jo tujhse ban gayaa,
Yun pal mein hi yadon mein bas gayaa…

Mere har sason ko tujhese pyaar hone lagaa…
Dil bhi tujhpe kurban hone ko tadapne lagaa,

Jindagi ki dusre sire par tu roshni si Jagmagane lagi,
Andheron ko chod mujhe roshni ki pyaas hone lagi…

Aankhon se saason tak phir rooh pe yun utarr gayi,
Har din tujhse suru aur tujhse khatam hone lagi….

Khuda ki Aankhon ka noor tu meri jindagi to sawaar gayi,
Khuda ki nek dua bankar ab meri jindagi ban gayi….

Aisa…

Anokha rista jo tujhse ban gayaa,
Yun pal mein hi yadon mein bas gayaa…

Tere pyaar ko sajda meine kiya,
Tere pyaar ko hi meine ab apna majhab bana liya….

Tere hi pyaar ko mein….
Sar aankhon pe har pal rakh liya….

Tere bin ek pal bhi na mein ji sakun…
Teri jaroorat ab har saanson ko padne lagi….

Hal-e-Dil kaise mein bayaan karoon….
Har shabd tere pyar mein chota lagne jo laga…

Aisa…..

Anokha rista jo tujhse ban gayaa,
Yun pal mein hi yadon mein bas gayaa…

……..Mahen