I crossed the lawn and then started walking on the long corridors.My classroom was at the extreme end of the longest corridor of my convent school.On usual mornings I generally hurried to reach my classroom after the morning assembly so that I could conveniently occupy the first bench.It was not the hot favourite spot and most of my classmates simply detested sitting right under the nose of the teacher not even being able to yawn comfortably whenever our history maam began discussing world history.But I had to hurry coz I had to compete with Preetha practically for everything,my grades,my class ranks,teachers’ accolades and moresover the first bench.We both had similar thoughts,only a first bencher can excel in studies and be a favourite with the teachers.Both of us worked hard,studied for a number of hours and never got into any mischief having shared the best student award umpteen number of times.We were so similar yet we could never become friends.We wanted to but somehow the competition between us for everything dissolved any prospect of friendship blooming between us.
But today I was in no hurry,I was slowly walking on the corridor with an ocassional peak here and there in the classrooms around.The assembly seemed to be in progress.Barely was the prayer over when a hundred musical and an equal number of non musical voices began singing..”Counting colours in the rainbow..”But somehow I had missed the assembly today and Sister Martha too was not standing on my head with a stern look and thousand queries as to why I had missed the assembly.Hence I was pretty relaxed and gradually moving at my own pace.The lower classes made me stop for a while as I recounted plenty of memories associated with them.How I stood first in class 4,how Teacher Mitra praised me for my diligence n dedication,the vacant class rooms reminded me of those hours spent in rehearsals for college fests n culturals,how I juggled my time to attend the rehearsals without missing out on a single important class lecture.This and so much more…everything touched my eyes in a flashback.I stopped for a moment near the chapel.This is the place where I have spent countless hours crying silently whenever I missed out on the first rank by mere two marks and began distrusting my own capabilities.I was known as a sensitive child by one and all.But probably no one knew that my sensitivity was more than they could ever imagine.I cried everytime I saw a child lying hungry on the street,a puppy being hit by a moving vehicle,an old man being deserted by his family to beg on the street..all these and every other thing made me sad and emotional.I was the crying baby of the school.Every setback left me distraught and weak.No body thought that I would be able to face the hardships of life in future.My teachers who cared for me and even those who didn’t care were worried for me.Everyone was worried except for me.
Because I knew that my favourite teacher would always help me to become a person of a substance and somehow I had a strange trust on this teacher of mine.So today as I was sitting in the chapel the silence around made me realise that indeed my teacher has not let me down.She has taught me to be independent and strong.Today I face the world with confidence.There is so much suffering around me.Everyday I see life fighting with death.The sight of blood no longer scares me.So many times have I touched human blood in an attempt to stop it from flowing.From dissection room to mortuary so many times have I seen death in close range.But I have never shed a tear because my teacher has taught me to face adversities boldly and pave my path through them to reach my goal.
I was scared of losing everything,I didnt want to lose my first rank,my teachers’ appreciation, and even my first bench…but my teacher made me lose my most prized possession without which at one point of time it seemed I’ll die.But by making me lose that,my teacher gave me the biggest lesson in my life.It made me realise that there is nothing in this world without which I won’t be able to live.Life doesn’t depend on anything solely,life moves on..no matter who or what is lost or gained.So my teacher taught me to live..if not fully but atleast to exist without the fear of losing anything and also promised that one day she will teach me to live also sans my prized possession.Iam waiting for that day…………….
These thoughts were filling my mind when suddenly my alarm clock began ringing.Then I realised that it was a dream which took me back some 10-11 years.Now things have changed.I no longer have to attend assemblies nor do I have to run to occupy the first bench at the end of assembly.Preetha is no longer waiting to compete with me.She must be residing somewhere in peace as I do today without those minor worries of losing anything.The corridors have changed.From convent school to government hospital my journey has been pretty difficult yet fruitful.And all credit goes to my favourite teacher whom I fondly remember today on the ocassion of Teacher’s Day.If u want to know the name of my teacher let me tell you..she is called LIFE(addressed her as she because its a woman’s life thats mine).My teacher always sings a song for me…”Ruk jaana nahi tu kahiin harke,kaanto pe chalke milenge saaye bahaar ke…”
PS-Its a request to all the readers of my post,whenever you happen to read any of my post pls do make sure to leave your valuable comment on it instead of just silently leaving my iland.Because every comment of yours gives me an inspiration to write better be it a good one or a criticising one.so do leave behind your comment good or bad and don’t just leave my iland silently as most of you do.This is an earnest request coz Iam sure every blogger loves to receive comments on his/her posts.
Being a medico,the branch of Paediatric psychiatry has always been a source of interest for me.The subject is vast and complicated,the disorders are galore yet the eitiologies are most of the time obscure and indefinite.This adds up to the miseries of the sufferers and moresoever to the parents of these children who are born to live a different though not necessarily an abnormal life from the rest of their counterparts. Though not an avid watcher of the daily soaps on TV which are mostly family dramas or saas-bahu saagas,a particular show aired on Zee TV at 8.30pm did arouse my interest in it.My love for kids combined with the unique concept of the serial makes me sit glued to the television set every nite at 8.30pm from Monday to Friday. The story basically deals with the miserable plight of a girl who loses her mother in an accident only to be left to the care of her father and step mother who is not at all comfortable with the idea of rearing such a child born out of wedlock from her husband and his long lost love. But apart from all this the interesting part of the serial is the fact that the girl suffers from a mental state called “Autism”.Though many of us have heard about this term before but very few of us really know what this condition is all about.So I want to enlighten all of you about this mental state which usually manifests in a child by 2 years of age approximately.There is lack of social and interpersonal contact in this state.The child is shy and can never develop an eye contact with anyone.He/she likes to remain in his/her own world and is devoid of any feelings or emotions of attachment to fellow human beings.Even the child cannot develop affection for his/her parents and has similar attitude towards them as any piece of furniture in the house.The child loves music and can be very fast in calculations. Though like every other disease there are several myths surrounding this condition as well.But dismissing such baseless assumptions,I would like to say that the actual reason behind the occurence of this condition is still obscure.So it is absolutely wrong when a few people held the mother responsible for the transmission of this state to her child.Nor is it true that a mother working in an office during pregnancy or consuming any drugs after conception or moresoever having a disturbed state of mind during pregnancy is responsible for the development of this condition.Whether the child’s siblings will be afflicted by this condition or not is also yet to be proven.But one thing is for sure,whenever a child is diagnosed to be autistic,he/she should undergo a series of neurological and psychiatric examinations to ascertain whether the child is a “high functioning” or a “low functioning” autistic.Because high functioning ones have the avantage of being able to become self reliant in future with proper psychiatric guidance and behavioural therapy.The low functioning ones are at a disadvantage relatively but still they too must undergo behavioural therapy because miracles do happen in science also. This was an attempt to make all of you aware of a condition which is on a rise these days and to remove some baseless myths associated with it.Besides coming to the human part of it,such children require social support and love more than anything else.I have seen parents being unable to accept the fact that their children are autistic in my psychiatry clinical classes and the same is being shown in the serial “Aap ki Antaraa”.The need of the situation is to convince the parents that these children are the special gifts of God.They are not abnormal but they do things differently and since they are different they desire and deserve additional attention and care.The psychiatrist plays an important role in helping the parents to cope with the truth.But at the same time its the responsibility of all of us to extend warmth and care to such children and never show any form of discrimination to them.So these children are not lunatic or insane as some people prefer to call them but they are special and born in this world with the purpose to teach the meaning of love to one and all.They never harm anybody,nor do they trouble anyone,they have their own world and like to live in it happily.They hate changes in their daily routine,only thing they need is a little bit of love and understanding.They don’t understand their needs,we have to understand when they need food,water or love! While wiewing this serial I have not only understood this mental condition better but this serial is a great source of motivation for one and all.A fact which I have realised after viewing this soap is that some people often complain that God has given them more pain than they deserve,but what I think is that God is a master,he is intelligent to understand who is strong enough to bear hardships in life.So not all of us get the priviledge of bearing the pain of terminal malignancy.Similarly not every parent is fortunate to be blessed with an autistic child,by caring whom they serve God in an unique way.Two lines from my favourite song…”Aye zindagi,gale lagaa le…hamne bhi tere har ek gam ko gale se lagaaya hai,haina?” (It was a difficult decision to leave the iland,more difficult was to come back.But there were so many reasons that I had to come back.Thanx Reema,thanx for everything.thanx Anvi,Karthik,Neha,Pradeep,Rajeshji,Rakheedi,Manju di Nivia maasi and Hina di.Somehow I couldnt bear the fact when they said that my leaving the iland will be a defeat of their friendship.I came back for them.Besides I came back for all those who called me a coward and said that I left this iland for silly reasons.Well Iam not here to prove my valour before them but one thing is for sure that its always easier said than done.So the reasons always appear silly unless and until felt personally.Just as in my post its easy to define autism but difficult to feel the pain of those parents who have to live with the fact that their children are autistic.Next I came back for Mr.Shyaam Katare and Mr.Think Tank because somehow i didnt want them to enjoy the pleasure of my absense for a long time.So Mr.Katare the day when you come out of your ambush please make sure to read this post of mine dedicated to you as well.Hope you will be happy to see my vilification campaign progressing.Then I came back for a person who made a comment on my farewell post that I shouldnt make the iland a personal battlefield.So frankly speaking Mr.So and so even Iam not interested to fight with people who are far below my standard so I wanted to peacefully leave the iland but then also I saw that some vested interests were still trying to malign my image alongwith the images of my friends which was beyond my comprehension.And lastly but not the least,I came back for Anvi’s brother,because all the reasons taken together also cannot add up to the importance of this one person in my life) 
It has been over six months now,the duration is not very long but still today as I stand and look back it seems as if the association has been really long,the association between me and rediff iland!One fine day as was destiny I met with a beautiful young lady called Reema under some unusual circumstance.But there was something which really made us realise that our friendship would be that of a lifetime.We became friends,she shared with me her tryst with the iland besides many other things.At that point of time she had stopped writing any post due to some personal pain which she had experienced while writing blogs on the iland.But somehow she inspired me to start my journey on this iland.I had always wanted to write like Amitabhji though I know I don’t even have half his writing skills.But when Reema introduced me to this iland somehow I felt that this was the platform I had been looking for since so many days.So began my tryst with the iland.Reema’s friends became mine and my friends became hers.Slowly I laid the foundation of some beautifull friendships.And together with that alongwith some other friends I managed to convince Reema to begin writing all over again because somehow I felt that she had some exceptional writing expertise.So easily did I tell her that don’t care what the world says,you do as your heart says.Little did I realise that its always easier said than done. This iland has given me much more than i deserve.Some wonderful friends who have filled my life with joy.So today as I wind up i would like to remember all my friends one by one.Neha,one of my best friends,it was a pleasure to know such a simple yet such a strong girl.Wishing you all the best in life Neha and hoping to see you as a collector in a district someday.Hope you won’t forget me that time if someday i need some administrative assistance and come to you for it.Then of course my sweet sis-in-law Anvesha,sorry dear for all those sleepless nites that you have spent just worrying about me.And yes I would love to marry your bro because in the bargain I may not get a good husband but shall get a true friend as my sis-in-law.And one more thing never ever leave playing basketball for anyone or anything.Time will surely heal your wound too dear.Pradeep,you always objected when I called you my best friend,I take my words back and call you my bestest friend today though its wrong English.Thank you Siddharth for always praying for my happiness and don’t worry I shall surely call you one day for my b’day party.Karthik my new and very sweet friend.Thank you for everything,for all those advice,consolations and the promise to bring the sun in my life whenever it rains.You are rite dogs will bark but dear sometimes they bark so loudly that its better to change our path. Then of course theres some friends who have given me some really important relationships of my life which I missed before joining this iland.I found an elder brother in Abhijit da.Dada i’ll surely get a taste of your biryani someday.Hinadi,thanx for being so concerning.And remember whenever you feel you are away from your family on your b’day don’t worry this lil sis w of yours will always be there to wish you all the happiness.Preethi di,still waiting for your long mail..Nainadi missing you alot..Manjudi you are my strength and inspiration.Never forget me because you have to promise me that you will write the introduction of my autobiography whenever I write one.Rakhi di,tomaye khoob bhalobashi aami,Anudi,thanx for being my didi .Nitudi for being one of my best friends.I still drink hot chocolate didi whenever iam sad,as you had told me didi.Besides some really good friends like HariOmji,Shivendraji,Chandrakantji,Babasahebji,Dhruboda,Nanditadi,Moushumidi,Anju,Mividha,Laxmi,Sameeranda,Souvik and many others without whom iland would not have been such a wonderful place. A special mention about Ranjanda,thanx for those lovely Tagore quotes Dada.One request please do write another one on this last post of mine.Aasha ji thank you for being there for me.Aameen ji thanx alot for all those lovely words and Manojkumar Nairji thanx for remembering me fondly in every post of yours.Last but not the least thanx Rajeshkumarji for giving me every reason to be happy with those brilliant post of yours where I usually played a character.You indeed made me feel like a fairy at times. But as they say there is the darkness of night after every bright morning,so this iland has given me my share of pain as well.A few days back i had written a post about some insensible comments in which a friend of mine had written that some male bloggers are particularly resorting to the use of harsh words while commenting on the posts of the female bloggers.Though I won’t say that everyone is doing the same but I too have been a victim of such things many a time.But I don’t bear any grudge against anyone anymore.So Sandip da and Dilip ji I have forgiven you for everything and I know I have hurt you so please forgive me too.But what I can’t forgive is the ordeal that I have gone through the past few days for an ilander.I tried alot but couldn’t forget n forgive.It all began with a comment of mine on my friend Reema’s post.Mr.Shyam Katare rated Reema’s blog,this rating concept seemed a bit strange to me.I went ahead to give a higher rating to her.This did not go down well with him.Thereafter he wrote a blog on MS Dhoni,Reema wrote some opposing comments.I had nothing to do with it.It was a coincidence that within a few days I wrote a blog in support of M S Dhoni.I don’t know if Mr.Shyam has any personal grudge against Mahendra or not or maybe the grudge was against me only,so he beautifully utilised this opportunity to settle scores with me by dragging me into this matter.Thereafter began his sequence of sending me really long hate mails calling me arrogant,one who plays dirty games and with every possible allegations.All this was still tolerable but he crossed his limits asking me one day that why do I have this emotional attachment with Mahendra that I can’t hear anything said against him?So Mr.Shyam you wanted to know whats my relationship with MS Dhoni,am I rite?Though I don’t find it necessary to answer you but still I may say that I can enjoy any relationship with him.He may be my friend,my schoolmate,my family member or maybe I look upto him as an elder brother..or maybe Iam just a fan or maybe he is my boyfriend..but all this doesn’t form a part of your domain.So I don’t give you the right or for that matter to anyone to question about my relationships ever.I hope you got your answer.Although I didnt want to talk about this episode at all but I brought it out only to show all the ilanders that this is how some men treat women on this iland.Or maybe it hurts some male egoes whenever a woman tries to write something on an issue which the men think exclusively to be their portfolio like discussing about cricket and cricketers. I think I have written a really long post but since this is my last one so please friends bear with me for the one last time.Just now I realised that I forgot mentioning about a few very good friends of mine.To make amends I remember Kajari Guhaji,Sharmila ji Deepak,Greshma and Rahulji,thanx for being my friend.So as I end my short yet fruitful association with iland I remember my best friend Reema once again for being always there for me and more making me realise that some pains are indeed difficult to forget..I can’t understand Reema what you may have felt when I asked to move ahead forgetting everything…and Nivia maasi who is no more writing on this iland but Iam sure she will read my post as she has promised me.Before the tears further blur my vision (I want to assure Karthik don;t worry dear these are the tears shed for some really wonderful friends whom Iam going to miss from now on and not for any undeserving person as you have forbidden me to cry for)I end my beautiful journey on this iland…hope to meet all of you at some point or the other in the larger journey of life…Till then i take your leave leaving behind few lines of a song..”Main hawaa hoon,ghataa hoon theherti nahiin,ruk bhi jaoon kahiin par to rehti nahi…maine tinke uthaye huye hai paron par..aashiyana nahi hai mera….” 
