why your child is misbehaving ?

In order to understand why your child is misbehaving it is helpful to keep a diary:

Identify one behaviour that you would like to change in your child. Be as specific as you can e.g. wont do as she / he is told, hitting, demands things, whines, shouts. Write this behaviour down.

When the behaviour occurs, write down what caused it (triggers) and what happened afterwards (the result).

After a week try to see if there is any pattern to the behaviour. When is it occurring ( particular time, situations)? Who is it occurring with? What are the reasons ? What are the consequences ? Ask yourself what is my child learning from the way I respond to this behaviour? Am I setting limits and boundaries consistently ?

Once you have a clear picture you are ready to change the pattern by changing the triggers and consequences after observing this behaviour pattern. You may have to try and ignore certain behaviour, try not to give in, remove certain privileges, look and sound as if you mean it when asking you child to do something. Most importantly concentrate on encouraging and rewarding good behaviour all the time !

How To Cope Positively With Difficult Child Behaviour.

1. Establish House Rules
Make simple rules for your child. Start with a few “things we do and don’t do.” Discuss them with your child.

2. Prevention Is Better Than Cure
If you feel that your child’s behaviour is beginning to get out of control, “nip it in the bud” by distracting your child’s attention onto a positive activity or game.

3. Understand Your Child’s Behaviour
Define simply and clearly any difficult behaviour. Keep a diary of what led up to the behaviour and what immediately followed it. From this, see if there is a pattern. What are the triggers and consequences which might be keeping the behaviour going? DON’T blame yourself but work at changing your responses.

4. Discipline With Short Time-Outs
Try to view discipline in a different way e.g. if a rule is broken, discipline with a time out a short, quiet time alone, without play. Alternatively ignore minor behaviour difficulties as your attention will often inadvertently encourage the very behaviour you want to stop.

5. Take Five
When tensions and anger rise in you or your child take five. Take five minutes to cool down and to ask yourself, “Why am I getting so angry?” Try to identify the real problem, then find the solution. Always control your temper.

6. Never Strike In Anger
Research has shown that hitting your child does not help, and can do more damage. Try to avoid striking your child in anger. Smacking is not effective in reducing poor behaviour, as it does not teach children good behaviour.

7. Don’t Yell or shout at children
Try to avoid yelling at your children in anger. Do not put down your children. If they break a rule, tell them what they did wrong and why that makes you angry. Be angry at what they did, NOT at who they are.

8. Get Away
When you feel frustrated, angry or uncontrollable, let your feelings out safely away from your children. Get out. Take a walk. Do not stay alone with your children when you are overwhelmed. Get help and support.

courtsey _ http://www.indianchild.com/understanding_child_behaviour.htm

Posted in bachpan.

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By sanjeev snehi – February 5, 2009

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'Eating the Earth'!

Eating meat, dairy and eggs threatens our planet.

You use much less land and water if you eat crops directly. Animals use most of the protein they eat to live, not ‘grow’ meat. So eating meat adds to water shortages, forest clearing, soil damage, use of oil-based pesticides - and climate change.

“By 2050 the world’s livestock will be consuming as much as 4 billion people do… when many were doubting whether such human numbers could be fed at all.”

November 1st is World Vegan Day. Vegans everywhere will be celebrating from Sat 27 Oct to Sun 4 Nov 2007 - see our WVD Events Page. Livestock produce more greenhouse gases than transport! Are you Eating the Earth?

Get your copy of 'Eating the Earth'!

Download it here, call The Vegan Society Information Department - Tel: 0121 523 1730 E-mail: info@vegansociety.com or check out our website: www.vegansociety.com - ask about our new poster too!

courtesy….http://www.worldveganday.org/

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By sanjeev snehi – October 31, 2007

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bachhon ki duniya

जिराफ क़ी गर्दन
लम्बी कैसे हुई?

जिराफ की लम्बी गर्दन के लिये पूर्व अफ्रीका में एक कहानी प्रचलित है।

सृष्टि की शुरुआत के समय ईश्वर ने जिराफ को दूसरे जानवरों की तरह ही सामान्य पैर और गर्दन दी, उस समय जिराफ बहुत कुछ बडे सांभर से मिलता जुलता सा था। सब कुछ अच्छा चल रहा था, जिराफ भी संतुष्ट था। किन्तु एक वर्ष भयंकर अकाल और सूखा पडा। सारे जानवर भूख और प्यास से बिलबिलाने लगे क्योंकि सारा पानी सूख चुका था और सारी घास पहले ही चर ली गई थी बाकि सूख गई थी। यहाँ तक कि सूखी घास भी खाकर जानवरों ने खत्म कर ली। बस सूखी कंटीली टहनियों और पीली और कडवी टर्पेन्टाईन घास के अलावा कुछ न बचा था। जानवर पानी और भोजन की तलाश में हर रोज मीलों दूर चल कर जाते जहाँ पानी के कुछ गङ्ढे बचे थे। यह वह समय था जबकि सबसे स्वस्थ और शक्तिशाली जानवर ही बच सकते थे।

एक दिन जिराफ सूखे मैदानी इलाके में जहाँ रेतीले चक्रवात राक्षस की तरह घूमते थे और क्षितिज पर गर्म धूप चमकती थी, अपने दोस्त गैंडे से मिला। वे दोनों साथ साथ पानी के गङ्ढे की तलाश में आए थे। दोनों इस कठिन समय और भोजन पानी के अकाल की बातें करने लगे।

”ओह मित्र देखो सारे जानवर कैसे इस सूखे मैदान में भोजन ढूंढते हुए व्याकुल घूम रहे हैं। लेकिन देखो वहाँ पलाश के उन पेडों को।” जिराफ ने कहा
” हूँ! ” गैंडे ने बस सर हिलाया क्योंकि वह आज भी ज्यादा बातूनी नहीं है।
” कितना अच्छा होता अगर हम उन पेडों की सबसे ऊंची डालियों तक पहुँच पाते जहाँ कोमल नाजुक नई पत्तियाँ हैं। वहाँ हमें पर्याप्त भोजन मिल सकता है किन्तु न तो मैं पेड पर चढ सकता हूँ, और ना ही तुम।” जिराफ कहता रहा।

गैंडे ने सर उठा कर देखा, सचमुच उन पेडों पर हरी भरी कोमल पत्तियों का घना छतनार था।

” अँशायद हमें जादूगर के पास जाना चाहियेवह एक आदमी है जो कि बहुत शक्तिशाली और बुध्दिमान है।” गैंडे ने सूखी डाली चबाते हुए सोच समझ कर कहा।
” वाह क्या सूझी है तुम्हें भी। चलो दोस्त चलें, किधर से चलें? क्या वह सच में हमारी मदद कर सकेगा?” जिराफ उत्सुक हो उठा।

दोनों मित्र सूर्य डूबने तक चलते रहे, बस एक दो बार कीचड भरे गङ्ढे में पानी पीने को पल भर रुके होंगे। एक लम्बी यात्रा के बाद मध्य रात्रि को वे आधे रास्ते तक ही पहुँचे। ज़रा विश्राम के बाद वे फिर चल पडे अब सुबह हो चली थी और अन्तत: वे जादूगर तक पहुँच ही गये और अपनी समस्या उसके सामने रखी।

जादूगर ठठा कर हंस पडा, ” ओऽ ह यह तो मेरे लिये बहुत आसान है। तुम कल दोपहर यहाँ फिर आना और मैं तुम्हें जादूई जडीबूटी खाने को दूंगा। जो कि तुम्हारी टाँगों और गर्दन को इतना लम्बा बना देगी कि तुम पेडों के शिखर तक पहुंचने के काबिल हो जाओगे।” जादूगर जडी बूटी ढूंढ कर तैयार करने में व्यस्त हो गया और प्रसन्नता से भरे गैंडा और जिराफ पास के पानी के गङ्ढे पर विश्राम के लिये चले आए।

सुबह तयशुदा समय पर जादूगर की कुटिया पर केवल जिराफ पहुँचा और गैंडा कहीं पीछे छूट गया, क्योंकि उसे कहीं पीछे हरी घास का एक टुकडा मिल गया था जो कि किसी तरह अन्य जानवरों की नजर से बचा रह गया था। और लालची गैंडा उस घास को हबड हबड ख़ाने में इतना मशगूल हो गया कि वह जिराफ से पीछे तो छूट ही गया और उसे दोपहर तक भी जादूगर की कुटिया तक पहुँचने की याद न आई।

काफी देर के इंतजार के बाद जिराफ के बहुत कहने पर भी जादूगर ने इंतजार नहीं किया, उसने जिराफ को सारी तैयार जडी बूटी दे दी और स्वयं अपनी कुटिया में चला गया यह कह कर कि , ”जल्दी खा लेना, वरना इसका असर खत्म हो जाएगा।”

बेचारे जिराफ ने न चाह कर भी पूरी जडी बूटी खा ली। खाते ही उसकी गर्दन और टाँगों में एंठन होने लगी और अचानक उसे लगा कि पृथ्वी से वह उपर उठा जा रहा है। कितना अजीब मगर मजेदार अनुभव था। जिराफ ने रोमांच से आंखे बंद कर लीं, जब खोलीं तो सारा संसार बदला सा लगा। वह बहुत उपर था हवा में, मीलों तक देख पा रहा था। उसने अपने लम्बे लम्बे पैरों और गर्दन को देखा और मुस्कुरा दिया। जादू काम कर गया! उसने पाया कि उसकी ही लम्बाई पर पलाश के पेडों की हरी पत्तियों का छतनार शीर्ष था। उसकी खुशी का पारावार न था।

उधर गैंडे को जब याद आया शाम ढले जब वह घास का वह पूरा टुकडा चर चुका था तब वह भागा भागा जादूगर की कुटिया पर पहुंचा। वहाँ दरवाजा बन्द था। उसे देर हो चुकी थी। उसने वहाँ देखा नये लम्बे सुन्दर जिराफ को, जो कि मजे से उपर की डालियों की पत्तियां खा रहा था, दूसरे जानवरों से उसका कोई लेना देना न था, उपर की डालियों का सारा का सारा भोजन उसका ही था।

तब उसने कुटिया का दरवाजा खटखटाया। अन्दर से निकल कर जादूगर ने कहा कि, ”तुम देर से आए सारी जडी बूटी खत्म।” गैंडे को लगा कि उसके साथ जादूगर ने धोखा किया है तो उसे गुस्सा आ गया, उसने अपनी नाक का सींग उठाया और आदमी पर हमला करने भागा और तब तक उसके पीछे भागता रहा जब तक कि वह झाडियों में न जा छिपा।

वह दिन और आज का दिन कि गैंडा बहुत गुस्सैल हो गया, जब भी वह लोगों को देखता है उसे जादूगर की जिराफ को दी गई लम्बी टाँगें और गर्दन याद आ जाती है और वह अपनी नाक का सींग उठा कर आदमियों के पीछे भागता है।

courtesy…..http://hindinest.com/bachpan

PLEASE VISIT _ http://hindinest.com/bachpan

Posted in bachpan.

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By sanjeev snehi – October 23, 2007

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Laugh of the day

For Dog Lovers Only
Submitted by HeadLaugher on 2004-07-08 17:45

Dear Master:

The cat is despicable. She doesn’t do any tricks and never comes when you call and I’ve been there and I know she can hear you. We need to face facts: It’s time to get rid of the cat.

Before the cat’s arrival, meals were very festive times. I would sit and stare attentively at your lips, trembling slightly and drooling. You would play the game of pretending to be cross and demand that I leave the area, but whenever you cooked dinner your children would slip me food under the table.

Now, though, the cat is allowed to jump on the table ? actually physically walk on the table! You don’t yell at the cat, you just pick her up and put her back on the floor, and I know you don’t see it, but she always gives me a haughty look as she walks past me.

And speaking of meals, I have always been satisfied to eat the gritty pellets of meat byproducts you bring home in the giant bags, right? Have I ever once, ever, failed to finish a meal? But now I find out that the cat is being served lobster and salmon and crab - and she never consumes all of it! This means there are little containers of delectable snacks lying around and how can I be blamed for making sure they get eaten? Why do you get so mad? As long as the pet food is going to the pets, isn’t that what’s important?

Then there’s play time. I think we can clearly see that I am a big dog, descended from a noble line of hunters accustomed to chasing prey and attacking it. Haven’t I nearly managed to take down a few cars as they’ve driven past the house? The cat is about the size of a squirrel and in my view should behave like one, but when I attempt to chase her, she hunches up and spits at me! This can’t be sanitary. And shouldn’t she be declawed? I’m very concerned about the potential for damage to the furniture and my nose.

Speaking of sanitation, do you realize that the cat goes to the bathroom in the house? And not in the drinking basins like you do, but in a sandbox in the basement. What are we going to say if some woman brings her baby over to play in the sandbox and the cat has been using it as a toilet? I used to police the thing for you, but you put it up out of my reach for some reason.

I’m not the only one who believes the cat is an evil person. Here’s a note from the hamster:

To: Master of the house
From:Hamster
Subject: Cat
Please tell cat to stop staring at me while I work.

Signed,

Hamster,
Department of Rodent Wheels

I also tried to get a note from the fish, but apparently it believes that everything happening outside its bowl is some kind of reality-TV show.

I don’t understand why the cat is allowed up on the bed and I’m not. I am far more cuddly than any stupid cat. I think her purring sounds unhealthy and may be a sign of tuberculosis. And why doesn’t she ever get a bath? She smells like saliva from licking her paws - you’d never catch me licking such ridiculous places. I often smell wonderful from rolling in roadkill, yet you give me baths all the time!

And speaking of sleeping, sometimes I’ll be taking a nap and she’ll come right up and lie down beside me. Usually I’m too tired to do anything about it, but then later the other dogs smell her on me and crack a lot of jokes at my expense.

So, not to exaggerate, but the cat has brought the family to complete ruin. I’m sorry I have to be the one to bring it to your attention, but now that I have, I think we can all agree that we should go back to the way it was, when I was the No. 1 pet.

Yours truly,

The Dog

PLEASE VISIT

www.laugh-of-the-day.com

Posted in Fun.

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By sanjeev snehi – October 7, 2007

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Day of Peace

The Day was established in 1981 by A/RES/36/67 [PDF, 112K] of the United Nations General Assembly to coincide with its opening session every September. The General Assembly in 2001 voted unanimously to fix observance of the Day on 21 September as a day of non-violence and ceasefire by A/RES/55/282 [PDF, 91K].

The United Nations works in a wide cross-section of areas to address the root causes of conflict, including in poverty reduction, HIV/AIDS prevention, humanitarian assistance, promotion of human rights, development of international agreements and legal instruments, peace operations, electoral assistance, support for democratization, preventive diplomacy and economic and social development.

On 21 September, the Day was observed at UN Headquarters with the traditional ceremony in which Secretary-General Kofi Annan rang the Peace Bell for the last time during his term in office. Numerous commemorative events and activities were planned around the world by United Nations offices, governmental and non-governmental agencies, and civil society and religious groups to promote the ideals of peace and non-violence.

This year, the UN used the Day to note the many ways it works for peace and to encourage individuals, groups and communities around the world to contemplate and communicate thoughts and activities on how to achieve peace.

Please take a minute to look the postcard available on this website and tell us how you think you can contribute to the attainment of peace.

VISIT _ www.un.org/events/peaceday

Posted in day.

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By sanjeev snehi – September 17, 2007

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World Hearing Voices Day

World Hearing Voices Day, 14th September

The 1st World Hearing Voices Day was on Thursday, 14th September 2006

In November 2005, Louise Pembroke, a voice hearer and psychiatric survivor from England proposed that INTERVOICE should hold its own World Hearing Voices Day in 2006 to:

celebrate the hearing of voices as part of the diversity of human experience and increase awareness of the fact you can hear voices and be healthy

challenge negative attitudes towards people who hear voices or the incorrect assumption that this is in itself a sign of an illness, an assumption made about them that is not based on their own experiences, is stigmatising, isolating and makes people ill

raise awareness of the issues facing the estimated 4% of women, men and children who hear voices across the world.

For a mostly unfunded network this was a challenge indeed, but one that was taken up by our members with energy and creativity and resulted in an impressive array of events and activities that were held in 14 countries across the world ' from Australia to Finland. See below for further details about the events we held.

Aims:

The theme of the World Hearing Voices Day 2006 addressed whether hearing voices should be considered an illness or as part of the diversity of human experience that does not in itself have to result in an illness.

Jacqui Dillon, Chair of the English Hearing Voices Network said:

"I have been a voice hearer since I was a small child as a consequence of serious abuse that I experienced throughout my childhood. My own experiences within mental health services were so damaging and negative that I was passionate about improving services so that they would be helpful to people in mental distress rather than hindering them. When I joined the Network I saw a powerful means of making change, which enabled voice hearers to reclaim their experiences and the Hearing Voices Network has enabled me to make changes in my world and to become part of a collective voice for change. For someone who was told that she would never recover, life could not be better!"

In announcing the World Hearing Voices Day, The President of INTERVOICE, Dutch psychiatrist, Professor Marius Romme said:

"Because of the fears and misunderstandings in society and within psychiatry about hearing voices, they are generally regarded as a symptom of an illness, something that is negative, to be got rid of and consequently the content and meaning of the voice experience is rarely discussed.

In contrast, our work and research has shown that over 70% of people who hear voices can point to a traumatic life event that triggered their voices; that talking about voices and what they mean is a very effective way to reduce anxiety and isolation; and that even when the voices are overwhelming and seemingly destructive they often have an important message for the hearer. With the support of the worldwide hearing voices network, voice hearers, some of whom have spent long periods of time in psychiatric care have reclaimed their lives and are now able to say they hear voices and accept them as part of themselves. Our journey to better understand the voice hearing experience has now been going on for almost twenty years and we thought this would be a good time to celebrate our achievements and to make our work better known across the world."

This research and work on hearing voices represents a real challenge to the current understanding of the voice hearing experience, provides a message of hope and the possibility of recovery from serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

PLEASE VISIT.

http://www.intervoiceonline.org

Posted in News.

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By sanjeev snehi – September 11, 2007

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