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Lonely on an island….

Once upon a time, a man decided to vacation on a cruise shipin the Caribbean. 
It was wonderful–the experience of his life!  
He was  waited upon hand and foot.  But, alas, it didnot last.  
A hurricane came up  suddenly and the ship wentdown. 
The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on  the shore of an island.
 There was nothing else anywhere to beseen.  
No  person, no supplies, nothing.The man looked around.  
There were some bananas and coconuts,but that  was it.  
He was desperate and forlorn, but decided tomake the best of it.   
So for the next four months he atebananas, drank coconut juice 
and mostly looked to the seamightily for a ship to come to his rescue.
One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking  
for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner ofhis eye.  
Could it be  true, was it a ship?  
No, from aroundthe corner of the island came a  rowboat.  
In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen . . . or at least,  
within the past four months.  
She was tall and tanned, and her blond hair flowed  in the sea breeze, 
giving her an almost ethe real quality.  
She spotted him  also (since he was waving and 
yelling and screaming to get her attention),  
and she rowed herboat towards him.
In disbelief, he asked, “Where did you come from?  
How didy ou get  here?”
She said, “I rowed from the other side of the island.  
I landed on this island when my cruise ship sank.
“”Amazing”, he said, 
“I didn’t know anyone else had survived.
How many  of you are there?  Where did you get the rowboat?
You must have been really  lucky to have a rowboat wash-up withyou.
“”It is only me”, she said, “and the rowboat didn’t wash up,
nothing  else did.”"Well then”, said the man, 
“how did you get the rowboat?”
“I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island,”  replied the woman.  
“The oars were whittled from  Gumtree branches, and I wove  the bottom from Palm branches, 
and the sides and stern came from a  Eucalyptus tree.
“”But, but…,” stuttered the man, 
“what about tools and hardware, 
how  did you do that?”"Oh, no problem,” replied the woman, 
“on the south side ofthe island  there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rockexposed.  
I found that if I  fired it to a certain temperaturein my kiln, 
it melted into forgeable  ductile iron.  I used that for tools, 
then used the tools to make the  hardware.
“”But, enough of that,” she said, “where do you live?”  
Atlast the man  was forced to confess that he had been sleeping on the beach.
“Well, let’s  row over to my place,” she  said.
So they got into the rowboat and left  for her side of  island. 
The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that  led to the approach to her place.  
She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. 
They walked up a stone walk andaround a palm tree, 
and  there stood an exquisite bungalowpainted in blue and white.  
“It’s not  much,” she said, “but Icall it home.  
Sit down, please.  
Would you like a drink?”
“No thanks,” said  the man, “one more coconut juice and I will puke.
“”It won’t be coconut juice, the woman replied. 
“I have astill; how  about a Pina Colada?”  
Trying to hide his continue damazement, 
the man  accepted, and they sat down on her couch totalk. 
After a while, when they had  exchanged their stories,
the woman asked, “Tell me, have you always had a beard?”
“No”, the man replied, “I was clean shaven all of my life,even on the  cruise ship”.
“Well if you would like to shave, there’s a razor upstairs inthe  cabinet in the bathroom.
” The man, no longer questioninganything, went upstairs  to the bathroom.  
In the cabinet was arazor made from a bone handle, 
with two shells honed to ahollow-ground edge fastened to its end inside of a  swivelmechanism.  
The man shaved, showered and went back downstairs.”You look great,” said the woman, 
“I think I’ll go up andslip into  something more comfortable.”  
The man settled in towait, continuing to sip his  Pina Colada.  
After a short time,the woman returned wearing strategically positioned fig leaves
and smelling faintly of gardenia.”Tell me something,” she said, 
“We have both been out herefor a very  long time with no companionship.  
You know what I mean.  Have you been  lonely?  
Is there anything that youreally miss?  
Something that all men and woman  need?
Something that it would be really nice to have right now?”
“Yes there is,” the man replied, moving closer to the woman
while  fixing her with a long, intense gaze.
“Tell me… Do you  happen to have an internet connection?”
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Posted in Fantasy.

14 comments



Thank God Microsoft is not into Restaurants..

If restaurants functioned like Microsoft….

Patron:  Waiter!

Waiter:  Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems
         to be the problem?

Patron:  There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter:  Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.

Patron:  No, it’s still there.

Waiter:  Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a
         fork instead.

Patron:  Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter:  Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl
         are you using?

Patron:  A SOUP bowl!

Waiter:  Hmmm, that should work.  Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how
         was the bowl set up?

Patron:  You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the
         fly in my soup?!

Waiter:  Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in
         your soup?

Patron:  I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter:  Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron:  You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter:  Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron:  Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter:  The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron:  Fine.  Bring me the tomato soup, and the check.  I’m running late
         now.

Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.

Waiter:  Here you are, Sir.  The soup and your check.

Patron:  This is potato soup.

Waiter:  Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.

Patron:  Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.

Waiter leaves.

Patron:  Waiter!  There’s a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day …………………………….. $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day ……………… $2.50
Access to support …………………………… $1.00


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Posted in Family.

3 comments



What an amazing mobile phone…

What a phone………must see.

Nice video of Steve Jobs launching the iPhone 3G. Click Here

 
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Posted in Mobile.

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Kagaz ki Kashti


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5 comments



Kabhi Yoon Bhi to ho - Jagjit Singh Gazal


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Secret of Joy - nice video

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Jagjit Singh Prem Geet

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Jagjit Singh Tum Ko Dekha


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Letter to Bill Gates

 Dear Mr. Bill Gatesa,


This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for
our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we
face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor
Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.

Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request
you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. There is a button ’start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request you
to check this.

3. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘ has
ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so that we
can click that by sitting.

4. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find only
‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

5. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the
door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’,but unable
to trace. Is it a bug??

6. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning ‘HEARTS’
playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.

7. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
sentence’, so when u will provide that?

8. I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad lekhin there is only one icon
with ‘MY Computer’, remaining ka kya huwa?

9. Are ye to kamal hai, windows says ‘MY Pictures’ lekhin there is not even
single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

10. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the
PC at home only.

From:

Banta Singh,
Punjab

Posted in Joke and Fun.

12 comments



Amazing Punjabis

This was forwarded to me on email…….list out the characteristics of PUNJABIs. Being a Punjabi myself…I found this hilarious and almost true :-) .


ABC OF PUNJABIS


 A is for Adjust, Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they
 want to push you around.

 B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum, it is an
 instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or
 whatever.

 C is for cloney and its first name is not George nor is it a process
 for replicating sheep it is an area where people live eg. Dfence
 cloney.

 E is for expanditure and believe me Punjabis are not scared of
 spending money the latest cars, marble floors, their ambitions are
 always expanding.

 F is for fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is
 actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back,
 of course).

 G is for Gaddi and the way a Punjabi can pilot a car puts any F1
 driver to shame, if the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there’s no way
 Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder and
 Sukhvinder.

 H is for Ho Jayega, the moment you hear that, you have to be very
 careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.

 I is for Intezaar to know more about it see P.

 J is for Jindagi and if there’s one person who knows how to live life
 to the full it’s a Punjabi.

 K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses
 ie, keeping up with the Khuranas.

 L is for Lovely but she never is. Nor is Sweety.

 M is for Mrooti the car that moved an entire Punjabi generation.

 N is for No problem ji - to find out how that works see H.

 O is for Oye which can be surprise (oyye!), a hailing (oyy), anger
 (OYY) or pain (oy oy oy).

 P is for Panch minit and no matter how near (1 km) or far a Punjabi is
 from you (100 km) they usually say they’ll reach you in panch minit.

 Q is for Queue for which there’s really no word in Punjabi.

 R is for Riks and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if
 the odds are against them.

 S is for Sweetie, Bunty, Pappu and Sonu who seem to own half the cars in 
Delhi.

 T is for the official bird of Punjab Tandoori chicken.

 U is for when U lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncle’ ji.

 V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

 W is War on the roads.

 X is x-rated words they flow freely in casual conversations on the street.

 Y is ‘You nonsense’, anger replacing vocabulary in a shouting match. And

 Z is for Zig zag for which you should see G, M and P.

 

Posted in Blogs.

23 comments