meenasundar’s blog

Sometimes mind nags us,

Consequently asking many questions,

Trying to find out

What we want !

Thinking randomly

Who ever is near us is not ours

Who is not near us is not ours and

Who is ours?

Why we worry so much?

Why we think like this?

Because we are social animals

Can't we live alone ..?

Even the alone word is a dim-witted word

No one is alone.

We all depend on each others,

Even plants, stars animals!

Besides, we are afraid to depend,

At the same time

We are afraid to be alone.

Nothing is permanent,

Nothing is secure!

All laws and sciences

Fails when it comes to humans' heart and mind.

So, why we fuss?

The basic human nature

Still the question nags.

Who cares about us?

Who accepts us the way we are?

Who can love us unconditionally?

We too know that unconditional have some expectations.

Unconditional itself possess condition!

Even though we do not accept others, the way they are sometimes

Contradiction in thoughts!

One of the complex thing in this world is;

Humans' heart and mind!!!

It never stops thinking

It is never satisfied with one thing

It never says it is enough!

Wondering

What makes us happy?

What we have is, not making us happy

What we do not have is not going to make us happy.

We are happy.

We wish to think,

We are happy

Probably we are happy!!!

Inside our heart

We know

Happy and sad is not permanent

Emotions wandering

But life goes on and on ..!!!

Meena

P.S. After my uncle and aunt passed away, I wrote this poem, it was just a shift of thoughts at that time it is a kind of shifting inside when we loose our loved ones.

Too  Long post..Please have mercy on me this time .Thank you friends! J

"Our Lives becomes beautiful not because we are perfect. Our lives becomes beautiful because we put our heart into what we are doing" ' Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev ~

Amma : My amma is a very remarkable woman. Even at this age of 58 she cooks and cleans the house all by herself, she doesn't like servants. Her home is always clean. She takes care of everyone in the family bcoz she is the first DIL, she knows what they like , what they don't like. I have never seen my parents raise voice for anything, one eye contact from my father she knows what he wants and vice-versa hehehhe I still wonder how can they understand each other without even uttering a single word.

Appa : He talks less. He always loves to be with kids. He never scold us, but if he gets angry one eye contact or one whack on our back..hehehe..that's it, my bro and I behave well J))) actually  if I ever respected any person in my life the most, it is my father. His good habits just sticks with me all the time, punctuality, reading books like bookworm, reading news paper, painting, doing things artistically, love with western music, writing every penny we spend, arranging skills its all inheritance from my appa.

Chithappa (father's first younger bro) : He loves me like his own daughter, he is the only person in this world who loves me the way I am. There is nothing in this world he does not know. He passed away of cancer and I even wrote about that in my old post. I miss him so much. Anyways, still now I have the feeling someday my chitappa is going to call me on the phone, I know it sounds weird but what to do .

Mother in law: Real angel! She is the kindest human being in the world. She helps everyone, she does not worry about caste, religion or money.  Actually, her character inspired me so much, i almost follow her footsteps. She is a hard worker, even at the age of 69 she cannot sit in one place ideally, if you do not give her work she goes mad. Anytime, even middle of the night if anyone asks her food she goes to the kitchen and prepares something without hesitation, she cannot let anyone go hungry. plant lover, animal lover , even street dogs and cows always call her if she is inside the home and they wag their tails if they see her bcoz she feeds them all the time, she cant let the stray living things also go hungry

My neighbor couple : We started our friendship very slowly but it is one of the best and still stands. When I had very bad financial and family problems, they were the ones who gave me good advice. I strongly believe godsend angels in the name of humans. Their advice and their suggestions still make my life clear and bright. I am really thankful to god for letting me meet this kind humans. God is great!

Another neighbor: We call them ideal couple. First time in my life, I know a couple who can talk and make decisions together. Hahaha.. in our whole family fraternity it is different, men rules L. She loves to cook, and her foods are so delicious, most of the time we exchange foods.

Oprah Winfrey: The talk show queen, her talk shows inspired me so much, I learned few things after seeing her talk shows, sometimes it is coincidence or god made this for me, but I hear what I want to know. When some matter bothers, me and if I wanted to get any advice, bang! Next day I watch the show, there is some answers for me, I am amazed by the coincidence. One of the people I want to meet in my life, if I am lucky J

My husband's friend: Tell- as- it -is 'person!!! If I do anything wrong he tells me point blank..hehehe, if my hubby does anything wrong ..point blank talks hahaha I always tell him "you should be a counselor not a corporate manager". Actually, his direct talks helped us sometimes.

My nephew: When he was 5-month-old kid, they had to leave him with me bcoz both are working parents. At that time we had mountain of problems, but when he came to my home, all changed for us, god send angel child for us, he is 11yrs old now. We have very special place for him in our heart. My two daughters still cannot stand anyone scolding him. His mom and his granny wonders and asks me what magic you did to him, he adores you and he does whatever you tell him. Hehehe . No magic . I took care of him like my own son.  He is our little angel!

My own kids: If they weren't there then my world would have been a blank paper. When I first held my daughter in my hands, it was like heaven I can remember their tiny hands, and heavenly smiles . Hahaha I can go on and on Two angels, they dint let me sleep but who cares, I enjoy life with them.

My sweet hubby: What ever I am right now, he had the main part in shaping me too J .good or bad may be I am much more stronger and sensible bcoz of him!

I strongly believe that, god send someone for us all the time. We can identify them if we see the world with simple mind. If I am depressed somehow, I can come out of it, after that I know what happened to me someone in the name friend or relative or unknown person helped me without even knowing what they are doing/did to me. I learned one thing in life, take a look at what goes around you and accept the reality and you can see many angels in your way!

I am not a god-fearing person and I do not even pray often, most of them call me atheist. However, I believe our good deed pays us back.  Only one good habit I still have is, find a good thing in every negative. It means all are good and bad, but usually we take a lens and magnify the bad things first, but I learned, first see the good things about people and then deal with them… It may bring out the best in others and us too. I may sound weird . But this is what I am! Even I am not a saint or evil. I can go on and on writing about lot of angels. But simple msg…You can spot angels anywhere anytime, if you open up your eyes, your mind, and especially your heart! God Bless ALL!!!

How deeply you can touch another life, is how rich your life is. May you have much opportunity to profoundly impact lives around you.

Wishing you all and your family

Happy and prosperous Diwali Friends.

—Meena.

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift ~ Albert Einstein.

My observation about some people and I am sharing that with you friends, it is very nice to observe people and interact with them, but never come to an conclusion about anyone, according to science, human moods changes every 90minutes ha ha ha ..but the basic nature never changes . evil or good!

Some are selfish and they don’t help others but the way they talk it gives the impression whatever they are doing is good, and their talks have sweet honey coated lies.

Some of them do not do anything and they accept others the way they are, they are much more safer ones than others. Bcoz mostly they do not expect anything from anyone and they do not complain often like others.

One of the bad things about human behavior is the way they judge others, the way they manipulate others. There are peoples who talk all the time and they don’t do a thing good for anyone. They are just talkers and they are very dangerous too .worst manipulators.

Some are very kind and polite and they like to help others. They don’t want to clash with others, for others they look like weak humans and they make fun of them, but they don’t know one thing, it is not their weakness, it is their strength. They can survive anywhere with peace.

Some talk less and do lot they are safer than all. However, sometimes they think that they are bloody smart, and they never accept anyone’s talk as right, they are much more complicated to deal with than anyone in this world but they are somehow angels of the planet, bcoz they achieve as well as they are helpful to others if they need their help.

Some people who talks well, boldly and they love to get attention. Therefore, they do whatever to get attention, even to the extent of telling nasty things about others, mostly all utter lies. The way they talk, all think they are good human . Very very cunning, dangerous people , better stay away from these wicked persons, bcoz they can’t live in peace and they can’t let others live in peace. They are like spilt personality.

Some of them think they are smart-ass (sorry, for the language use these kind of people really irritate others). They never have the vision that this world has many kind of human characters, and all are unique ironically, they are very weak when it comes to relationships.

Some people who can think and act differently. These kind of people who cannot come into some cubicle analysis report . they have individual characters, they are also dealing with some problem like others  judging others.

Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds..  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

P.S. may be all my observations are wrong ..hehehe .. thanks for reading J

Thinking about a long walk

Feeling the cool air

Feeling the nature around me

Feeling the fallen leaves under my feet

Simply like to think about anything

The life the pains

The joys, the hopes

The anxiety, concern… Dreams!

Except the walking never stops.

Until I understand myself

And find the new child in me

Which got buried in the life race !

Faith in life

Trusting the world

                                                   Confidence in mind

Trusting the trust!

Simple things are precious to live!

The time passes away

The recollections will be there

To value the life!

Still thinking and wondering

When I am going to take that

Long walk

on the fallen leaves ?

—Meena.

I think Tagging fever is catching up now thanks Moe anna and Jissy dear!

1.  LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER

I hardly go to theaters. Couple of weeks ago I went to a Tamil movie 'Satyam', an action movie, with my relatives …s*** I don't understand why I went to see that movie, but I found some good storyline in between the fights.

2.  WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

 Self matters (creating your life from the inside out) by Dr. Phil McGraw .whenever I get time I read few pages. Oh God!  I don't know why I am not reading this book right now…  may be afraid to know about me ..J))))

3.  FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? '

I don't have the habit of sticking to any particular game

4.  FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?

Tamil-Aanatha Viketan, my all time favorite magazine from childhood. English, it changes according to my needs and moods some example, Readers Digest, Femina and India Today.

5.  FAVORITE SMELLS?

I have to copy Monalisa the smell of earth after the first shower hahaha my hubby used to say that I would have been a dog in the previous birth, hehehe..i can smell and say before anyone  can smell the fresh soil. Well, I am not talking about city city soil stinks anyway, I am living now In a nice place where there are lots of trees and vacant land too, so plenty of good soil J

6.  FAVORITE SOUND?

Anything about babies   . Smile, cry …whatever it is I love the way   babies making sounds, all kinds of sounds ..

7.  WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

 To be left alone or if I can't do anything or if I am physically disabled .hehehe..i  am thinking too much na  

8.  WHAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP? '

OMG!…..What to cook to satisfy those three devils. oh ya include me also, so four devils hehehe

9.  FAVORITE FASTFOOD PLACE?

 I rarely go out and eat, but apart from that, I like one place 'Noodles king' 

10.  FUTURE CHILD’S NAME?.

Hmmm I can name my grandkids if my kids allow me, when they have kids hahaha if it is male- Shyam, Siddharth . female- Radha, Shruthi

11.  FINISH THE STATEMENT: `IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I’D

buy a library :))) serious side, I want to help cancer patients with that money.

12.  DO YOU DRIVE FAST?!

 First I need a car for that second driving license, third a road without any traffic ..he he he

13.  DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Hahaha mostly books .i can't name them animals na J

14.  STORMS: COOL OR SCARY?  

 Thrilling and scary too. Once I got caught in a low pressure with my small kids and my niece without any male with us . hahaha .it was a real nightmare in my life!

15.  WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?!

 L      Well, I can answer differently by mentioning the car that I love the most Toyota INNOVA

16.  FAVORITE DRINK:

Nothing can beat the Filter coffee ..! then Tea, orange juice and sweet lemon juice ..

17.  FINISH THIS STATEMENT: `IF I HAD THE TIME, I WOULD

 Like to go to Himalayas and stay there for sometime, a peaceful resting place  

18.  DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?

Who knows .

19.  IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?

Of course, Indian standard colour BLACK 

20.  NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN:

 Chennai, Tuticorin, Trichy, Tirunelveli and Arakkonam

21.  FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?  

 Cricket, tennis and football take all this in the past tense watched anyway I watch cricket sometimes with my kids

22.  WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED?

hehehe..i am searching .aha..here they are .bunch of different bills hehehe 

23.  WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS AGAIN?  

Don't have any idea..may be a bird J 

24.  MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?  

hahaha..difficult to say one thing ..may be both ..depends  

25.  OVER-EASY OR SUNNY-SIDE UP? '

Hahaha..hohoho..hehehe 

26.  FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?  

Of course, my sofa! A book, a pillow and my sofa..divine place in the world J

27.  FAVORITE PIE?

 let me say I love chocolate cake

28.  FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR?  

 Chocolate flavor, butterscotch sometimes, plain vanilla 

29.  WHO WOULD YOUR DREAM DATE BE?

a.   WENZEL Dashington

b.  Banian Khan

c.   Mr. Gajani nee M.F. Hussein

…..too late now u should have asked me this when I was in my teen .my favorite Kevin Costner  J

30.  OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO’S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?

Hmmm I am not going to tag anyone .whoever considers me as their friend, they have to respond dearly to this tagging: D (am I expecting too much hehehe) let us wait and see..after all my fav list is too long . J

31.  ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN

YES 

32.  Your first Lip Encounter ' When and Where ' 1) In the Balcony 2) Behind the School Bus 3) In the movie theater  or .  

Censored 

33.  Do you sleep in the buff  

 silly billy killy question  

34.  If you SEE a PERSON in the buff what would you do ? '

scream "There is a naked person"!!!!!!!

cover your eyes

or     DROOL 

Disappearing oh no but I have to answer the final question J    

35.  MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT    

hmmmmm my memory power J Most of the times I forget names…even though I talk to them and I know everything about them Only thing missing is their name ..hehehe .recent one, ysday I went to shopping with my kid . In the shop I opened my handbag OMG..no money..hehehe..i forget to take money ..hahaha

                        ~                 ~                 ~

Let me see who responds to my 30^th answer .i hope u all won't disappoint me or rather fail my expectation hehehhe…filmy ssstyle . thank u friends!

When I was in 6^th std, I admired one person so much, Ambrose my English teacher..  She is a gigantic person, soft face with a fair complexion. she used to take class so well, I watched her all the time, I like to talk to her so much, so I make some excuses to talk to her, Somehow, that teacher also liked me very much, if she needed anything from teacher's room or from HM's room she would sent me with the class leader. Till now I can hear her English accent ringing in my ears.

The great teacher is not the man who supplies the most facts, but the one in whose presence we become different people - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My 12^th class English teacher, her accent and the way she took grammar she is a gem in her subject. She is very serious about her class, she never scolds but she seems to be in full Tranz when she took classes. I love her the way she takes classes. Unfortunately, I don't remember her name L

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrate. The great teacher inspires - William Arthur Ward

My biology teacher Malar. She has this habit of giving a brief about ysday classes after that only she takes new lessons, her explanation about plants is so good, I fell in love with plants J and she took zoology too, in her first dissection class in the lab I fainted..hahaha . and for a long time I dint touch the cockroach dissection with my hands, I used  forceps but one day she came to know about this and came to my table and stood near me and made me touch that tiny monster..ugh ..i still hate her for that J never mind, after that I did dissection of rats, frogs .and I always got full marks in the dissection, she tells me you are doing dissection like an art ..hahaha..

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken
joy in creative ex-pression and knowledge - Albert Einstein

My chemistry teacher Devaki, one of the real angels, She came from a well-known famous politician family, but she never behaves like that. She is very straightforward, simple, strict and talks less. Moreover, the way she took classes, it is like mesmerizing. She took 11^th and 12^th classes and when she first came to the classroom, she gave a little speech about these teenage problems.  In teenage, we get attracted to opposite sex, which is normal, but we have to have some control over our wandering mind and actions, otherwise we may suffer in the future. First time in my life, I had seen a teacher talking like this openly.  Occasionally she gives some advices but never over does anything. I used to sit in the canteen after school time and have curd vada with my friends , it happens once in a while, I think she watched this and one day in the class room she said Meena you used be a good girl, now you are getting distracted hehehe..i was so embarrassed. But, I never stopped going to the canteen my favorite curd vada . yummmmy J how can I not eat when I can smell and thinking about it all the timeJ))

I am not a teacher but an awakener. - Robert Frost

My own grandpa, he was a Tamil scholar, He used to sit on the veranda of his home in the evening and tells lot of stories about Ramayana, Mahabharata and Tirukkural, neighbors, kids all came and used to sit on the veranda to hear his stories, the way he talks, it was too humorous and educating too. His narration was like movie and he was a very humorous person. He always mixes that humor in the story telling. He was a favorite to many students and neighbors and of course, kids like us. He insist us to learn Tirukkural one daily. I think he was the one who inspired me to read more books.

The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind - Khalil Gibran

My friend Jacq, she is an English lit M.phil holder, the way she talks about her subject and the way she narrates stories about English books and scholars, it is so good and I am jealous of her knowledge about the subject J

Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I understand -  Chinese proverbs

I thank all the teachers in the world, who encourage kids to study and make them a good human being in this world. I should have posted this on teachers day, but somehow I dint get the right time.

Anyways, nothing is too late.

Thanks for reading this long post friends.

I will write about other angels(parents, friends and etc etc) someother time.

Someone told me, "do u know what I tell my friends this change of sex perversions .it is all happening because of late marriage. In early days, the marriage keeps them not to do any illegal thing to some extent".

But, I told that person, it is all happening because of the mass media and also bcoz of lack of proper education about sex.

I asked my hubby about this.. My hubby has some good points.

He said it is not about late marriage, during early era small villages had certain custom and systems in their community, and everybody knows everyone, they are afraid to do anything against their community rule and they din't have the exposure like in the present world .. Now too much exposure to TV, movies and books

Sex education is important??? Or early marriage will solve this problem???

 My personal opinion, sex education is important. Parents are not ready to talk about this to their kids, even I feel uncomfortable talking about these things to my kids. So through education it is possible.  In view of the fact, that this mass media and some magazines really show nasty things . Look at every TV channel and movies, the extra marital affairs is normal, sex is normal, changing partners . even seeing this  again and again makes kids rather even adults get  comfortable with the situation, and makes them think that this is normal I might be wrong. But, this world is changing in a faster way with wrong things . 

I don't think this early marriage will resolve anything.

A few years ago, I came to know about a strange and unusual “custom” that has been occurring in certain parts of Tamil Nadu.  It is called “Murder” with Love or Mercy Killing - sorry its not even mercy killing…its a way adopted to bring about peace within families and the “victim”. In villages and towns usually if any loved ones are taken ill for a long time with no cure, or slip in to a coma or are too old and weak - family members in an effort to end the pain and suffering both of the patient and  themselves -  take care of them. It is not about taking care, but about how they can keep the patient comfortable and at the same time relieve them of their agony forever.

They have adopted a nice loving custom, they call all the relatives of the patient, saying that the loved one does not wish to die bcoz they are expecting their favorite daughter or son or whichever relation to come and give them milk or water. Now I know this sounds weird, even I know this is absurd -if they are unconscious they can’t even think, how come they are waiting for their loved ones to show up. No need for any logic here…It is simple msg . Let them go in peace

They all come and give milk to the patient. At some point they die The reason choking! The patient chokes bcoz they are weak they cannot swallow much,- the  milk enters their lungs and they die,  Sounds cruel but maybe for them and their loved ones the best and only way to ease their suffering.

Some of them are stronger and then instead of relatives they call their best friends too to come and give more milk - those who do this feel honored, because somehow they are special to the patient.

Don’t take me wrong, I am not saying it is a good way to let anyone die. But this is a very rare custom in our society (may be in some TN villages and towns) .Since there is nothing these people can do by themselves - they would have told of their wish  to someone in their family and the family is doing in its own way to take away the suffering. We all wish one thing in this world that is we do not want to suffer, if we have to die then we want to die without suffering. It is the basic wish for anyone, but it is not possible for all.

So it appears the custom was born - a  simple custom and if the person dies after being given milk by a particular person, then the relatives praise  that person saying  the patient loved the person so much that is why he waited all this time for the person to give him milk or water. Believe me friends, this statement makes them very proud of themselves they think they are most loved person by the dying person. Then it becomes the talk of the town , “this and that, that this person died after his loving son or daughter gave milk to him. They never let the person feel guilty that bcoz of them only the person died.

Many may disagree - but to me it appears to be a good custom - the reason being the person does not have to have a prolonged suffering - now will the family have to be in suspense Suffer, if they are unconscious or they cannot intake anything…What is the use of living. It is hell for them to live like that, that same applies to the person who is taking care of them. I always admire some of our Hindu customs and beliefs, it always holds some strong truth and sometimes some stupid too.

This is my opinion and sometimes I think that I am too cruel to support these customs, but to me I find it as practical. Some families may use this to their advantage - customs wrongly, but I am talking about people who follow these customs so that their loved ones do not have a prolonged suffering Every coin has two sides!

P.S.  What ever I wrote here has occurred or is occurring..i don't know , I wrote what I heard.

Thanks, Moe anna for encouraging me to write about this custom, which I do not want to write on and special thanks for editing it too.

Dreams

Delightful  dreams

Playing  inside  the  mind

Just  imprison  the  pleasant  thoughts

They  are  not  settling  in  one  place

And    So  many  memorable  thoughts      

 Elusive  like  the  slippery   eel

Every  time  heart  beats  more rapidly

When  the  thoughts  draw  closer

The  faster  the  beat

Every  cell  senses  the  excitement

It  is  like  electrifying  shock

Stimulating  and  thrilling

Feel  the  tremors  from head  to  toe                                                         

Jolting  the  nerves

Feel  like  singing

Desire  to  dance

Wish  to  hug

The  thrill  continues

Even  if  the  dream  ends

Again,  dream dream dream

If  the   memories  are  good!!!

                                    —Meena.

P.S.  I think dream is the only thing in this world we can get freely without anyone's interruption or we can be disturbed by the calling bell .hehehe .anyways, I dedicate this poem to my friends Misty and  Neethu . They are always telling me to write normal stuff or dreamy romantic poems…. so here it is. I hope it is good…if not please, don't blame me girlsJ

I want to know the real reason - i want everyone to participate in this wanderings i have been thro for long so long -

1. why are we born here - wat reason
2. why education - school - college etc etc etc
3. why all the bragging about rich - poor
4. why should we FALL in love and get hurt - to know wat
5. why should we go for work
6. why should we earn
7. why should we get married
8. why do we have to be parents
9. why again all that we went thro our kids should go thro -
10.why death - birth - nonsense around us all the time -
11. why should we go to temple / church / mosque etc etc
12. why caste system

FREINDS THESE STUFFS COMES TO ME EVERY NOW AND THEN - AND WHEN I ASKED A FEW - THEY SAID LIFE IS ALL ABOUT EXPERIENCE - I ASKED THEM - EXPER FOR WHAT - LOOK MY POINT IS - WE EXPER ALL THIS AND DIE - I WILL ACCEPT IF ALL THESE EXPER HELPS US IN OUR NEXT BIRTH - ITS NOT GOING TO - AGAIN WE WILL BE BORN THE SAME MUFF AND START OVER ALL AGAIN - SO LETS START A HEALTHY DISCUSSION - NO FUN HERE FRIENDS - JUST PLAIN STRAIGHT STUFFS..

good luck to all who read this - pls think

P.S. This is my old friend Rock agade's post. I am posting this with his permission I am posting exactly the same post, not deleting or editing anything….enjoy. This is his link rock agade