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9 words Women Use!!

Posted in Blogs on 02/27/2008 06:23 pm by

9 WORDS WOMEN USE


1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end fine.


4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!


5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . ( Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)


6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.


8. Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying &@!# YOU!


9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.


*Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.


*Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because they know it’s true.


—–Mana—–
 

Robbed!!!!

Posted in Blogs on 02/08/2008 04:41 pm by


Every Dog has his day ..And every one has one day equivalent to a stray dog!!


Well it's a very bad attempt to making a phrase, but what I mean to say is, there is one day in the entire year which can be termed as “JUST NOT MY DAY!!” Everything goes wrong and is completely against you.


So here was my worse day of the year, at the start of the year ' 1st Feb 2008


The day had already been bad as I had a fight with my closest friend and the fight was not even based on anything strong to fight over. So it had been one lousy day and I had a party to attend in the evening. I had been looking forward to this party, but the day had drained all my energy with my over packed work schedule and a fight over the phone. I finally took a rick at 7:15 from my workplace to reach a destination which was termed as the most hectic traffic region. And to worsen things up, I did not know the exact location. So when I finally reached the place, the rick guy had almost showed me half the town, it was well past an hr and a half, I had taken atleast 6 u-turns after getting into the wrong lanes, my bro-in-law on the other side of my cell, giving me directions was frustrated and I am sure the Rick man was swearing at me in silence. Finally with very bad attempts to the most popular landmark of the town (Mr. Big B's bungalow), I managed to see my bro-in-law, mother and sister impatiently waiting for me and fighting with the rick man for not knowing the routes in the most popular area. After giving him half the fare on his meter and humiliating him for taking advantage of my ignorance to routes, we left the rick man, now swearing at me loudly behind my back.


After a heavy meal which lasted over hours all 14 of us at the party left at around 11:30 and were in search of the ricks dying to hit the sacks. The first rick arrived and I promptly got into it with my new “Coach” bag on my lap, my mom's hand over its handle and tying a scarf on my head. And then, I heard a loud accelerating noise, a few seconds of shock and silence, 3 of my aunties shouting “chor chor” and an empty lap. I was so shocked I didn't even realize that I had been robbed and when it struck me, there I was running on foot behind them in a chase gap of over miles. They were gone in a fraction of second on their speeding Yamaha which exhausted so much smoke that it was impossible for the 14 of us and the rick guy to even view the bike number.


My brother, sister, bro-in-law, sis-in-law, 3 sets of uncles and aunties, my mom and my younger sister along with the kiddos in my house look at me with an ex-pression of grief, sorrow, pity and anger all at the same time. So after a few moments of silence, finally the question was what did I loose?


“Did u loose ur credit-cards? We would need to contact them immediately. ” ' No I don't carry Credit cards, was my answer.


“So lets call the bank and inform them that the debit card's gone.” ' No I didn't have that either in the bag.


“How much cash?” ' None, I carry money in my pockets.


“Cell phone?” ' Its in my pocket too.


“Ok, so u din quite loose anything expensive, no cards, no cell and no money, so what do u carry in such a huge bag and what are u feeling sad about?”


Well now that was a valid question, but I was feeling sad not for what that bag had, but for my foolishness, for an open invite to get robbed, for being careless and for letting someone pick up my belonging right in front of my eyes.


What followed after a couple of days in the family: Were a lot of jokes like “Mana did you find the route?” and “Is your bag intact?” and “Did u dream about them?”–à Well yes I did dream that the thieves came back and returned my bag. It was haunting me over and over again, remembering how they had easily snatched my bag. That was followed by my thoughts which raced: “if only I could have got down and hit my heavy shoe at them, probably they would have fallen off”, or “I should have thrown the water which the rick guy was drinking at the moment of eve, on their faces, probably they would have fallen off”, or ” I should have howled real loudly and they would have fallen off” my main aim was to get back at them. But its impossible to think, blink or react at that moment and all you got to do is “forget and forgive and curse them a bit”.


Anyways, if you guys are wondering what I lost in the entire event, well a very expensive handbag (whose worth they would never realize and sell it off for a few 100 bucks), 2 shades of lipsticks(which they can gift to their girlfriends, if they have 1), a new pair of glares(which would not suit either of them), my company access card(which is in “denied access” status at the moment), a 1st-class train pass(which was due to expire in 3 days), food coupons worth 500 bucks(and I am sure they would not realize what those tickets are) and a couple of handkerchiefs which they can use to wipe off their tears for planning such a perfect plan, executing it and not getting its worth!!!!!!


——–Mana ——
 

Taare Zameen par!!

Posted in Blogs on 01/23/2008 02:32 pm by

Its a forward…but I couldnt help pasting it here. I have loved the movie, but I couldn’t help wondering what the movie would be like if the following directors had directed it!!

If Karan Johar made Taare

Obvious starcast:

Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).

Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts).

Rani Mukerjee as the kid’s mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable).

Abhishek Bachchan as the kid’s dad.

Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).

It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.

The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid’s mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else’s girl.

It would have one dance number.

The film would be titled ‘Kuch Taare Zameen Par .’

If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare

Obvious starcast:

Salman as the teacher.

Rani as the mother.

Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard university.

An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.

Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.

The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a difference.

The film would cost 60 crores.

If Farah Khan made Taare

Obvious starcast:

SRK as the teacher (yawn).

In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah’s version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.

The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.

To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh’s character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I’m quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight.

The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background.

If Rakesh Roshan made Taare

Obvious starcast:

Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.

Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days, this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction.

Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the science we know.

In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype.

Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid’s prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back.

The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music.

The film’s name would again start with a K.. probably ‘ Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par’.

The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities. This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.

If Priyadarshan made Taare:

Obvious starcast:

Akshay Kumar as the teacher.

Paresh Rawal as the kid’s dad.

It would be a brainless comedy. The kid’s dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director’s opinion, would be funny.

The film will be full of sex jokes. So for example, when Akshay would come to the parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the ignorant father would say something inappropriate like ‘iss umar mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!’. And yes, the director would think it is funny.

In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other. That’s where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.

And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself making us question the boy’s mental abilities anyway.
 

I am growing old!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Poetry on 01/23/2008 02:04 pm by

Where are the days all gone,
When a blow of whistle was enough,
To gather friends that lived flats apart,

Where are the days all gone,
When hours were spent in getting dressed,
For a party that lasted only 2 hours,

Where are the days all gone,
When we walked miles in a crowd,
To just get a pair of shorts,

Where are the days all gone,
When we planned for weeks,
For a picnic or nite overs,

Where are the days all gone,
When we spent sleepless nites,
Gossiping and bitching about others,

Where are the days all gone,
When we laughed over silly jokes,
And chased each other on dried dams,

Yes I guess thats what it is,
Every1 fears to loose their age,
Yes I am growing old and I dunn wannna say!!

________________Mana___________________________________
 

That’s what we are!!

Posted in Blogs on 11/22/2007 03:41 pm by

Anytime tea-coffee in a day,

B'day bumps,

Accentuated English,

Dashing clothes,

Onsite customers,

FM in buses/mobiles,

Late night parties,

Those sleepy weekends,

Crush on HR/colleagues,

Fight for appraisals,

Die-hard friendships,

Tears for love,

So much money, but so li'l time,

Nothing missing, everything fine,

People call it CORPORATE !!!

We call it Life ..!!!!!

 

 

Mana….
 

Mother’s Day Special!!

Posted in Blogs on 05/23/2007 12:09 pm by

She was smiling over the bunch of papers in her hand. I dinn bother to disturb her; maybe they were love notes. But my sister, as curious as a cat went upto her and asked her what she was smiling over and she showed the papers. My sister burst into laughter and called me too.

The papers had just got back memories and we all remembered the day when Dad got us the computer 4 years back. It was an HP Compac Presario, with a Color Printer, webcam and a lottaf other attachments which we would have never understood at that age. It was very exciting to take pictures over the webcam and we made sure that everyone who came into our room, sat on the hotseat where the webcam was adjusted so that a picture is taken for sure. We must have had blown off 10 GB of space in just a week's time with the innumerable pictures we took amongst ourselves. First I posed, then my sis, mom and dad. It seemed like we were there to make portfolios.

And then it was the day. My mom's b'day and the International women's day come during the same time. So we thought, why not give her a special mother's day gift. A so-called brainwave ticked off in both of us (which my dad would surely call a destructive mind). We both got up early on Mother's day and started taking printouts. But these printouts, had a special poem or a special one-liner for mom(which my sister sat and searched all over the web) and attached to each of these poems on separate pages each was a photograph of mom which we had taken over the webcam. The printouts reached to a count of 44 and we were out of paper. We pulled out cellotapes and stuck these papers all over the house. On Walls, mirrors, doors, refrigerators, cupboards, washrooms and even on the furniture.

Two of the most contrasting reactions in my life were what I witnessed on that day. My mom got up and was thrilled to find what I and my sis had proudly tried to do for her. She was beaming with glee and almost hugged and kissed us on every paper she read. It took around half an hour for her to find each of our well-stuck papers all over the house and my dad was yelling coz we had finished half the cartridge and ruined the newly painted walls. But the smile on her face was worth all the scolds.
 

All about Dreams!!

Posted in Blogs on 05/16/2007 11:00 am by

I walked into my living room and suddenly realized I had the ability to fly.
I fluttered my arms and I was soaring towards the ceiling.
I saw the window was open and took my first flight out of the window and off I went to the terrace top.
Flew over rivers and deep valleys and just loved the view.
I could see the clouds above and gave a second thought if I should dare to fly any higher.
Maybe I should and I almost touched a cloud and returned back to my home after a nice flight.

This was probably the Nth time I had this dream and I woke up with a smile on my face. It was the most amazing experience I had and almost so real that I gottaf the bed and tried to flutter and see if I could get myself over the ground-level. It also made me believe that the magical world of Harry Potter existed and I was probably a part of it.

Another time I got a frightful dream and went and checked if all my teeth were intact. The dream was so horrifying, that by the end of it I had a handful of teeth which had fallen one by one by just a little tap.

I am more of a day-dreamer and very poor at remembering dreams that come in the night hours. But recurring dreams and the experience after that just made me think, if they mean anything or if they had a message to deliver. And as I pondered over my questions, I thought why not use the search engines and there I come across the most wanted site http://www.dreammoods.com. Search for your answers if you wanna figure out what ur dreams mean.

There's a lot to your dreams and the ability to make them happen and that was probably the reason why I was fascinated by the book "The Alchemist": It's a must read.

Go get what u want !! —- Mana
 

Adopt a Girl!!

Posted in Blogs on 04/19/2007 11:55 am by

The huge room was filled with people, wearing white clothes. There was a lot of silence even though there were over 60 people around.
I walked in looking for her. She was just a year younger to me. We were close friends, and spent a good time when we went out with our families. She was my 2nd cousin and I was wondering where she was. I met Arnav and Arya on my way to her room. They were her younger siblings. They both were crying and seemed to be in a state of shock. They couldn't believe it was happening to them. I went and hugged both of them. Life at the age of 15 and 17 can be very difficult without a mother.
I finally saw her through the window. Jia was sitting by the poolside and I walked upto her. She wasn't crying and showed a very different emotion. I was hoping her to cry on my shoulder and there she stood completely in control of her life and I feared she hadn't lost the sense of understanding. She was very different as compared to Arnav and Arya. Both of them were very fair and had features of their mother, but Jia had a very Indian brown complexion unlike any of her family members.

She smiled as I reached her. I did not even utter the words "I am sorry for ur loss" and she started talking as if she was just waiting for my arrival. "How have u been?" she asked. "Fine" was my only reply. I couldn't even muster the courage to ask "And u?"
She continued, "My trip to Switzerland was good. I and mom had the time of our lives. You won't believe the stock of perfumes we both got back for all u guys." Jia and her mom had been to London, Germany and Switzerland last month. Jia's mom had the option to take one person with her from her office trip and she decided to take one of her kids and it had to be Jia. Everyone knew Jia was the favorite among the 3 kids, but I came to know the reason why she was her favorite only that day.

"My trip to Switzerland was good. I and mom had the time of our lives. You won't believe the stock of perfumes we both got back for all u guys. I will always cherish these past few days. And do you know mom just happened to tell me I wasn't her real daughter. She is not the one who has given birth to me."
We both were silent for the next few minutes.
"I was adopted from an orphanage. Mom and dad did not have a baby for 10 years and they finally decided they would adopt a baby. And I was the luckiest to have been selected by them. Mom says I have been her lucky charm ever since, as she was blessed with Arnav and Arya and there was noway she would have let go of me just coz she got her own kids. She decided she would take me to the trip and tell me about this and that's how I know it all now. But I just gotta ask God, if I was the lucky charm, how did this day come, where I have to live without her?"

I later learnt that her mom had left 'the Will' on Jia's name and Jia was so full of strength & courage on that day, coz she promised herself that she would be as strong as her mother was. And since her mom never made her feel that she wasn't a part of their family, she would make sure Arnav and Arya would never feel they are without a mother.

—Mana?
Just remembered this brief episode from the family when Amit told me about the Girl Campaign most of the Ilanders were a part of.
 

The Trojan Horse!!

Posted in Blogs on 04/17/2007 11:34 am by

Just incase u don't know what a Trojan Horse is  It's a computer virus, which creates copies of itself to do unwanted activities on ur computer. And it behaves like a 4-yr old which is quite unpredictable.

My Version of Trojan Horse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The First Day of the month and I was glad it was a Sunday. Though I was on a vacation I could get the feel of the Sunday. I was happy in my lil' home unaware of what was going on, at the other-side of the World.

My 4-year old niece called up my elder brother in US and said, "Mama, do u know Mana masi is getting married!!" My brother jumped out of his seat and called out to his mom, dad and wife. He put the phone on speaker as my niece continued, "Mummy will call u up after she finishes her bath, but tell Grandma and u guys have to come to India with Pillu (that's my 8-month nephew)".
I can imagine what must have happened at that end when I was happily watching some cartoon show at home.

My niece then called me up and said "Hi Masi, good morning!! Do u know grandma, grandpa, mama, mami and pillu are coming to India for Sunny Chachu's wedding (Chachu is her dad's younger bro)?" And I was really excited. I would finally get to see my nephew and we have a wedding in the family after ages.

My aunt called me from US and the chaos was killing my ear-drums. She asked for mom and when I said, she wasn't around, they all just yelled "We are coming down for the wedding." The phone line went blank and I assumed the line got disconnected. Ofcourse!! They'll come down for Sunny's wedding.

When my mom came back, I told her Sunny was getting married and all the 5 of them were coming down for his wedding. My sister already started making plans of what all we would do. And the excitement was too high to describe.

Meanwhile my elder brother called up my other cousins in town and informed them of the news. And by 1:00 in the afternoon my phone was buzzing with excitement from around the globe.
As for me, I was in a state of shock and not to mention my Mom was tired telling every1 they had called up the wrong house and it was Sunny who was getting married. So all the calls were diverted at Sunny's house.
And at Sunny's place his mom went berserk trying to explain they hadn't any plans of marrying him off.

The confusion lasted till 3:00 in the afternoon, when finally we managed to reach the root cause of it. My mom called up my bro in US to finally realize my niece had given him this news.

When asked, she laughed and said "Happy April Fool's Day!!"


 

A MEET !!!

Posted in Blogs on 03/11/2007 12:30 pm by

My cell buzzed and a message displayed: Would be in town on Saturday, only for a day. Can we meet up?
There was no way I was going to miss this one.

Saturday was one busy day and through a lottaf of messages and calls exchanged since morning, we finally decided to meet up at 2:45 PM at a location where both of us could reach. The kind of excitement, to finally meet up with someone you had adored for so long and yet not met up with, is completely different.

I did remember how he looked in his photographs, but was not sure if he still looked the same. KFC was the meeting point and as soon as I halted my Rick, I saw just one person waiting outside the closed down KFC location. It had to be him, but I still pulled out my cell phone and the minute he fished the ringing handset out of his pocket, I knew it was him.

All smiles and he sure did not look like the guy I remembered from the photographs. We decided to grab a bite and I made him walk atleast a 100 steps in the sun, where he finally had to say it, "Don't you think we walked a lot!!"

We settled down and ordered a few things and from the walk from KFC to the Pizza place we spoke, spoke and spoke. When I had first spoken to him on the phone, I assumed I was going to meet a shy person, who was extremely soft spoken and I did not know if we would be in a position to hit off a conversation. But he had all the stories in the world. He had traveled far and wide and most parts of India and knew a lottaf things. We then spoke about our common friends and almost everyone we knew starting with Nis,Deepa, Rajesh, Vishal, Monu, WD, Ash and a lot more. And all this while I was still not ready to accept I was sitting across the table and talking to the guy who wrote amazing Hindi verses when for the past half an hour we were talking only in English.

There were times when we just smiled and when asked for reasons we did not have any. It was a great feeling to meet up with him after knowing him for a year now and he looked younger than the age he specified. All through the while from the garlic bread to the hot chocolate dipped cake and ice-cream there was not one minute when I felt I met him for the first time. The one-hour sped off and it was time to depart.

But it was a great one hour. And as my topic says A-MEET –> thanks Amit for making this work through your packed up schedule. Lets hope I get to see a lot more of you on your visits to Mumbai.

—–à Mana (Dated: 10th March, 2007)
 
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