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2:36 pm
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mineown’s blog
Broadcasting my thoughts
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All ok?
the time clicks on…planning a return…do you?
how about a comeback? I’m back here.. I don’t know why.. and I’m missing your scribbles.. tc
wat de f**k….
I wrote those two lines…and it broke into a river…I’m so high!
Wandering…the dark alleys of the Mind’s deepest corridors,
resounding…
F O O T P R I N T S…..
I was here to say hello
A very happy new year to you!
Hi! I’ll get back to your latest .. read it few times..
Hope you are doing well.
will catch up soon…really really tied up in india
i agree, there is no relationship without selfish need!
just read the post…the layout is coming a bit funny or maybe its so on my comp.
yes..i know thats why i connect. i am doing the same the thing now..may be too late or too early….
Post something new .. waiting
Read that link you sent about slowing down and living life with quality. Thank you , Observer.
read up my page…i wrote…a couple of hours later…you must be grey then…not the stormy grey but the dull meaningless one.
May the lamps of Joy, illuminate your life and fill your days with the bright sparkles of Peace, Fame and Prosperity. Wishing you and your family a very happy and blessed Diwali.
happy diwali and hope this fest will bring alot of happiness and success in ur life and
There’s always something warm and bright, about this time of the year, when everything has a special glow, and hearts are full of cheer, that’s why, this special greeting comes your way, to wish you all life’s best, on Diwali and in the coming year, too.
Warm Regards,
Sanjeev
Wishing you Warm & Joyous times, Observer. Season’s greetings
Thanks for your comment at the last post about Katie Melua. I understand what you mean “that beauty only need to be a whisper”
The right words are not to be found, real beauty makes you tongue-tied..!
If you enjoy the entourage at that song, you have to look at this one too: “It’s only pain” Beautiful stage and so!! Enjoy!!
http://katiemeluafansite.nl/promo-videos/4.html
Thanks for your reply.
Amazing that Nepalese mountain ! A place where you liked to be, well, that’s your dreamspace !!!
hahaha..iyenkar touch..huh…. naan pesuvathu normal tamil, its not chennai tamil…. and chennai tamil is very special, in its own way, bcoz still now i dont understand pure chennai tamil. and pl, neenga tamil try pannunga… romba intersting’ga irukkum :))) neenga, iyengar tamil pesalam…
and that was beautifully said .. about the room and as you say yes there is no end .. and I’m not done yet ..
You speak my mind.. I’m someone who is fragile yet determined who likes getting entangled into relentlessly escalating crises.. though search for fulfillment is my essential nature.. as in I wouldn’t mind even my hard-won stability to slip under me but will keep looking for permanence.. there could be just a simple desire of home under all this and my inability to find one is what makes me wander ..at least what you say makes me perceive you as something closer.. or it could be that you really don’t want a home but more or less there is a profound empathy in the contradictions that you talk about and they are similar to mine perhaps that is why this virtual walk had been the way it is ..like a journey from state of mind to the discovery of another and so yes .. I’ve learned a lot about myself too and it has been quite amazing .. it is amazing.. rather .. the complex yet simple tapestry all this has woven ..
You know, when I talk about identities there is one more identity which is most mind-boggling and that is the online one .. but at least it gives the comfort to express things I wouldn’t have expressed otherwise .. perhaps its a part of magic that you talk about .. and that is why it feels we are talking to ourselves .. coz the one we are talking to is faceless .. if that is how life could be .. it could make few things simpler ..
There isnt any cookbook but I was given a recipe. If at all I find something which makes me give & give in abundance and not exactly expect returns I should know I’ve found something special .. a permanent happiness of sorts but that did not work either .. I don’t exactly give to take but I do expect.. ” permanent happiness - The happiness that which isnt bound by time or place or presence”.. is what you say ..don;t you get possessive when you find permanance? I’ll love to know what you do when your previous identities hit you.. and do you think you can get shaken by something/someone intensely and you will be back in the very old system? Btw I loved both your poems I read today .. I’d written something similar to the latest one .. I mean few words that you’ve used were exactly the same.. it was one of my ‘moods’ poem but even those moments are fleeting .. most of the times I do not want anything and just go through the motions .. that is how my day goes by presently
This state as you perhaps know is more vulnerable and that is why I find myself stuck beyond words. I haven’t yet buried all the ghosts and I’m still trying to think of myself as an individual first. Don’t they tell you that you would regret the choices you’ve made now.. when you are & old then you won’t be able to correct yourself by starting it all over again but I can understand you don’t get carried away by that .. I do and that is why I’m still fighting a lonely battle .. when I’m trying to get rid of certain identities too and that’s precisely why I’d mentioned gender before .. coz this identity in your words.. is most disturbing .. it makes me look for a sanctuary or maybe just maybe I’m being harsh on myself it could be this .. that it is only human to want a shoulder sometimes.. even in the space when you float you want a hand to hold. I hope I can find my happiness too after all this .. all that you’ve said has given me some hope .. however little..
Hi Observer Me,
Surprising Photo with the shadow, your shadow??
And can you tell me something about the photo on your dreamspace???
Where is it and whatfore??
Perhaps what you describe as going through the dark times to set the stage that you are in .. is remotely the state I’m currently in. I havent set the stage as yet. I’ll get back to this in a moment .. I need to put the jumble in my mind into some perspective..
it answers most of the questions that I’d been asking you ..
lovely poem… and quite close to what I meant by wandering too ..wonderful .. and equally interesting were the comments on that .. I need to ponder ..
it answers most of the questions that I’d been asking you ..
wonderful .. and equally interesting were the comments on that .. I need to ponder ..
it answers most of the questions that I’d been asking you ..
wonderful .. and equally interesting were the comments on that .. I need to ponder ..
The link is fine. I didn’t know you would be around.
I’m going through it ..
Btw this looks to be never-ending.. my day starts & ends with checking your & mine guest-book entries .. but if you are getting tired .. then do let me know .. we can get back to this at your convenience.. as I think I can just keep going on & on .. its pretty intoxicating like your poems..
And if I realize that this vulnerability is only for a fleeting moment the remaining whole part of life is mine.. you say .. again I shouldn’t be too inquisitive but all that you say and the way you give my thoughts ‘words’ and that too with an amazing confidence makes me want to know you more .. but there I stop I’ll only ask.. have you done that? Have you made the remaining part yours and if you have is this what you’d wanted and is it fulfilling? Is this what you would call your happiness? Forget others ..I can not even understand my happiness .. perhaps my happiness is only in this quest of finding what happiness is .. or maybe not even that ..how is it so easy for you to know what your happiness is ? You say understanding your own happiness is easier .. I don’t think so .. I know how I can make others happy .. that is if I try .. I know they want this from me or that for me and even if I do half of it they will be happy and make peace with the other half .. but myself .. ? no
“I havent taken anything at all or just a little to make my subset” I’m starting with this coz you know why? You intrigue me .. you do speak my mind but my mind is also a fantasy, if you’ve really done that then you are living my fantasy and THAT makes me jealous. You remember, you had once said that if I observe I’d know everything is fictional? Btw you said you would leave a link on my post about wandering but guess you forgot. I’d been digging through your archives but I don’t seem to find it. I did not mean gender as discrimination. Let me put it this way as I can’t be too explicit.. its feeling odd .. anyway just as you explained that for a fleeting moment you think you need a company there are fleeing moments when it can happen that you stop thinking of yourself as an individual coz I think amongst our multiple identities there appears to be a clash between what I want as an individual and what I want as.. simply a woman and there .. I can’t talk about men how they think and feel
I’ll like to know what do you exactly mean by system? Society, conjugality, fidelity, responsibilities, duties or all of it? I don’t want to follow any of these pattern but I’m born with certain responsibilities that I can not shed and there again is this tussle coz I’m stuck here too .. as I want something from here something from there then how can I say with certainty that I do not entirely live in any system .. when the fact of the matter could be that I did not reject the system .. the system rejected me.. & there I see some who are happily inside all of it ..at least they ‘appear’ happy but I can not even fake that happiness however that is a different matter altogether as I get a high on melancholia. I havent asked myself these questions before but I know I’m in that phase of my life when time could be running out and I’m not sure if I’m entirely comprehensible either. I hope I’m making some sense.. all I would like to know is that did you ever ask yourself these questions?
I was wondering if you were getting tired of this long thread.. and just then you’ve given me fresh food for thought. Right you are that there can’t be an approved way of life. I know I prefer the quest and not a solution and that is what makes me wander but don’t you feel at times that this wandering comes with a certain pleasure mixed with anguish? Don’t you ever find yourself alone if not lonely? don’t you think we complicate certain things which can otherwise be elementary? Interestingly I’d been scribbling something on that frame of mind which I intended to post later. What I meant by cold and darkness was that I’ve recognized.. I don’t get along with ppl coz of this waywardness.. either they disappoint me or I disappoint them but as a result I did not realize when I became a recluse. Its not that I seek approval or friends.. I’m glad now that I’ve none but how do I explain this .. well lets put it this way that yes I’m an individual but I am a woman too .. does that make sense?