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Yaad kiya dil ne kahan ho tum o, raat dhal chuki hai subah ho gayi
Film: Patita (1953) Enjoy…. Love Misty
This song is for a special friend who loves this song as much as i do. It encapsulates the philosophy of life. Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya
Film: Hum Dono (1961) Enjoy……… Misty
Chalte Chalte mere ye geet yaad rakhna beech raah mein dilbar,
Chand Zard Zard Hain Tera pyaar pyaar hain ke khwab hain
Enjoy…… Love
Do Ghadi woh jo paas aa baithe Bhool ki unka hamnasheen hoke
Film: Gateway Of India (1957) Enjoy………. Love Meri Saanson ko jo mahka rahi hain
Film: Badalte Rishtey (1978) Enjoy……. Love
To say that this is a shock would be an understatement! For For me the iland was like a friendly neighbourhood, where I think it was the rediffiland format that had brought people close to each If it hadnt been for that then I would not have met these people from across Let me take this opportunity to thank them for being there for me: Krish aka Friendly Ghost – my Anil Joshi aka Prudent Indian – A Neetha Nair – With her straight in Meena Sundar – Sister to most of the Vibhuti Vaidya - My ray of sunshine and my little sister. Aparna Bagwe – My lifetime quota of Reshma Thakker – I never knew I would Shyama Menon and RR – Its I am so happy to be with all of you. Touch Wood and Amen. Love you all Misty Jab We Met Never in my entire life had I felt such a strong urge to get away by myself somewhere, anywhere, far from the daily grind. I realized that I badly needed a break if I were to be able to function normally without the bitterness and the grouses. Something else that had been brewing up for a while, suddenly failed to materialize, and I felt lost for a while until one morning. I chanced upon this ilander and chat friend of mine, BASANTHI(of the chal dhanno / SHOLAY type), on rediff messenger (by fluke, since we meet on gtalk later during the day) and we got talking. And after a while she asked, "Hey Misty, why don't you come to my home?" Was I surprised? That is an understatement. Coming from her it was a TOTAL SHOCK. (Later she told me that she had shocked herself too by inviting me and was later even more shocked when I accepted her invite to go to an unknown destination, thousands of miles away to meet a couple of virtual entities.) Well, we had never met before, only chatted and seen each others photos. Sheer madness? Yes, under normal circumstances. For once I had this urge to be just MYSELF, not a wife or mother or daughter or a daughter in law. No carrying any emotional baggage with me on this journey. I asked her if I could invite our common friend (the ilanders' AKKA) and she said, "Fine with me, you ask her." And, so the call was made to Akka who asked her hubby for permission. After some initial hemming and hawing he agreed to let her go. Her excitement was crackling, this was her first time too. And hence the plan was put into motion, dates decided and railway tickets booked. Akka got her tickets confirmed to and fro, while I was in the waiting list both ways. Tensions began will I get the reservation or not? Coz, it was a 30 hour journey by train. Travelling without a reservation would be no joke. Tried my luck in the VIP and emergency quotas thru' two sources and informed my friends about this element of uncertainty. Basanthi secretly thought I was making an excuse, trying to wriggle out of the trip. She would say, "Misty, tell me anything except that you are not coming," while Akka, who was equally looking forward to the trip, said, "Misty, if you cancel then my hubby won't send me alone. It is because of you that he has agreed to send me" (as if we were traveling together) but, WOW, must say that felt great. The suspense of my getting the reservation lasted until 45 minutes before I boarded the train. As we were boarding the local suburban train, hubz asked, "Misty, what will you do if you don't get the reservation? Will you cancel and come back home?" And at that moment I decided, "Reservation or not, I am going", I was too excited to back out now and decided to brave it all. Also I did not want to burst their bubbles because of me. We were all looking forward to meet each other. Someone up there was certainly smoothening things for me. It turned out that Myname was there in the 3 tier AC list. Which of the two contacts in the railways had made this possible, I don't know, but one thing I knew for sure, that this trip was going to be a grand success. Immediately I called up Basanthi and Akka and told them that I was on my way. Throughout the journey I found myself smiling away, happily, for no reason. Next day at 9.00 in the night, I arrived, and Akka reached an hour later. We three met like long lost school friends. All hugging and smooching done with, we proceeded to Basanthi's abode and chatted thru' half the night, eating delicious gob-stopper laddoos that Akka had brought along. The next four days ( and nights too) were among the best in my entire life. We were like forty year old adolescents, doubling up with laughter, giggling, teasing, sharing, caring, photographing and going totally berserk, without a care in the world. Basanthi took us sightseeing, and together, we sinned twice at an icecream parlour called Jack Frost which serves yummy-licious ice-cream cakes with loads of nutty sprinkles. And yes, heavy issues like our weights, were conveniently forgotten. Akka and I spent a whole day together by ourselves visiting the lush The best thing about this trip was that there was no man in the house whose whims and moods we had to anticipate, fear and pander to. And believe me, it can be quite taxing. After Basanthi's daughter was packed off to college at What we ate, when we ate, when we slept, when we woke up, where we went, how we traveled, was all apni marzi se. Basanthi's daughter soon realized that her mother and her friends were all cuckoos. Basanthi and I discovered we had a lot of other similarities too besides being jokers. On the last day, we didn't want to part. We wished we had one more day together to enjoy and laugh and tease Akka, who took it sportingly, realizing that she had no choice. I, for one wanted to have some more of Basanthi's kerala cuisine, especially her masala allus, avial and Akka's rich coffee, which we demanded as a matter of right whenever we felt like it. Neetha Nair, Meena Sundar and I, Misty, parted with intentions of meeting up again next year, God willing. But even if we don't ever meet up again, I know for sure that the three of us will remember these carefree days of pure camaraderie with nostalgia, when three impulsive women did something totally crazy and bizarre. Meena and I will never forget Neetha's palpable excitement, her endearing and heartfelt invitation, her disappointment when she felt that all this may just be a pipe dream and above all her caring for us total strangers. Thank you Neetha and Meena for being my friends. And to you Krish, for encouraging me to go out by myself to start with.. It's strange how a seemingly innocuous event can set the ball rolling and change our lives. It all started with a wedding card that I brought up from the mail-box a year and a half ago. My father-in-law read it, pondered over it casually and asked my hubby, "Anna, isn't this Umesh the same as Gania's brother? The family name is the same too." And my inlaws and hubby all went into flashback mode, recalling their days in Ahmedabad, spent with their homely neighbours and particularly Gania, who went to school with my hubby in Ahmedabad. Hubby mused, "Yeah, I must get in touch with Gania. It is more than a year since he phoned me." He searched and found Gania's telephone number, and they talked of their childhood days — playing together and their school days and other friends. Gania named a few others that he was in email contact with. Soon afterwards, they met over a cup of tea at Nariman point. Two decades had passed since they had last met in their building society in 1986. Each was amazed to see how the other had changed It was a tentative meeting, but there was still a warm spark somewhere, which got the fires rekindled in their hearts. And then all that happened and continues to happen, is amazing. My hubby is one of the more proactive ones among his friends, if I may say so. After Gania added him to his small email group of school friends, my hubby started enquiring about others. The size of the email group rapidly grew; emails started pouring in from all over the world. I could see the excitement building up, with hubby opening his mails 5 to 6 times a day and telling me who all had responded. Before I knew it, he was in touch with some 10-20 friends. For me it was a pretty large number because in all these years, I had known him to have only one school friend he was in touch with. So it was a revelation to me that he had gotten in touch with so many old friends! The ball was set into motion for a reunion in Ahmedabad, where they had all studied at a Boy's Convent school. Very soon, in September 2006, they had their first reunion where many guys, along with their wives, met after what seemed like centuries. Hubby went with Gania, and they stayed at the home of another friend, Sanjeev. And after his return, hubby narrated the entire event to me and pointed out each 'boy' to me in the photos. Of course, I could not imagine each of them as boys because they were in their forties, but he gave me a vivid picture of each one and his relationship with them. I could see and hear the schoolboy that my hubby was once A second reunion happened in January 2007, once again in Ahmedabad, at another friend's farmhouse and this time, since Gania was unable to go, I decided at the last minute to join my hubby, to his great joy! We cancelled his train ticket and took a night sleeper bus from the highway near our house. The reunion was to be held late in the evening. Along with one of his friends who had come from What I got to see through the evening was something I shall never forget! Grown men behaving like kids, back-slapping, re-introducing themselves (since some of them had changed beyond recognition!) calling each other by their classroom nicknames and reminiscing all the naughty things that they had done in school, and remembering some of their teachers. And this time, many more guys had joined in. While the other wives were sitting around a campfire, my camera I went around with my hubby. Getting introduced to each of his friends and taking photos of each encounter, I thoroughly enjoyed each moment of the reunion! That evening, I got to see the school boy in my man. The joy in his eyes and voice when he fondly spoke to each one of them, hugged them and shouted with them!
Oh boy! The get-together went on till well past The next day, we visited his old schoolteacher, Ms Fernandes, at her home. I had heard a lot about her from him. It was a delight to meet her in person — a very sweet spinster lady who lived all alone in a sparsely-furnished, old house. Recently, on Friendship Day, Sanjeev was in Mumbai days on business. Gania and hubby, along with another friend, arranged an evening meeting at Bombay Blues in Bandra. This time it was just the four friends with their wives. It was fun. A few days back, hubby called up Ms Fernandes and asked how she was. It seems she had retired and was thinking about her future, since she was a lonely lady. He thought about it later on and asked her if she would mind if her old students did something for her out of love. And she was a bit hesitant at first, but finally after he convinced her that he would do it only if others agreed, she said ok. He floated the idea of collecting funds to buy her a computer and printer so that she could stay in touch with her students over email, and do some computer-related work from home. He sent out emails to all his friends, and a lot of them agreed to pitch in for a computer. One of the boys from Ahmedabad took up the responsibility of purchasing and setting up the computer at Ms Fernandes's house and also tutoring her. He has promised that his wife will be responsible for all the help that she would require related to the computer. Now the D-day for giving the gift has been set up as 2nd September, close to Teacher's Day on 5th September. Who knows, it may turn into another get-together? Due to my son's forthcoming exams. I may be unable to go along this time. But then, you never know!
Its just words Words……have the tremendous power to make or break, relationships of all kinds., "He said this to me or I said that to him, He makes me feel so good when he compliments me and he hurts me so much when he shouts at me or hurls abuses at me". All words, said by the other person to us and from us to them with the intent of hurting or making one feel good or for communicating certain emotions. Why do these words assume so much importance? Why do some people have the power to hurt us more than others? Or someone’s compliments feel more special than another’s? It is because we allow it. We give so much significance to that particular person and hence the relationship becomes meaningful to us and thus whatever he or she says to us, kind or cruel, compliments or criticisms all assume priority and gain the power to hurt or feel good. We also derive our sense of being from that person. We wait for the approval of that person. It is like: If he says you are good, then one starts believing that about oneself and if he says that you are not so, then one tend to believe that too. Why? Because at some point in life one gives more weight-age to the words of that person, because one wants him/her to care and love and hence one is ready to make oneself approvable, mould oneself to his/her tastes, bend ones own personal rules to suit his. And why does one do this? Because there is a subconscious need to belong and hence one allows that person to rule. I am not saying that all the spoken words are insincerely spoken, but what I mean is that we need not take every spoken word seriously. The words need to be weighed in the correct context. Sometimes one may say things in a certain mood and under certain circumstances and not mean it in a hurtful way at all. And in the same manner a person may pay you a compliment when he or she does not really mean it, except to make you feel good at that moment. Nothing wrong there. Take it in the right spirit. This becomes all the more evident in the chat space than in meat space, because in the latter, one can see how the other person is feeling at the moment. It may be possible to gauge his mood at the moment. But on chat space a person may be feeling a completely different emotion than he or she conveys to the other person. One may be chatting with several people at one time and the topic of discussion with each one may be different. With one there may be a perfectly serious discussion on the philosophy of life, with another one may be having a naughty chat and with a third person they may be sharing a joke. All different moods, right? One may think that it is not humanly possible for a person to do that, but I have known it to be possible. Albeit not everybody possesses those mental skills, but those who do, I salute them. The best thing would be to enjoy the chat for the sake of it and not read too much meaning into the words and not allow the person's words to assume too much significance, even if it is a compliment. Perhaps the next best thing would be to move on from that person to someone who can share a more meaningful conversation with you, and allows and encourages you to share and explore your thoughts and feelings to its logical ending and not leave you midway feeling lost and parched. Or simply go ahead and MULTITASK. The minute you tell yourself that these are ONLY WORDS, they lose their significant power to give you joy or inflict sorrow. |
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