'You don't love me any more.' Maya told me through tears. It pierced through my heart. And I cried too .

This happened a few weeks back. Maya was very unwell. She had a very bad throat infection & her fever just wouldn't come down. Her doc had given a heavy dose of antibiotics for 3 days. So she was very dull & generally cranky. Those 3 days she just wouldn't let me out of her sight. While I was secretly flattered initially, (*sigh* how we look for signs to convince us that we're still needed) after a day I was getting tired. Every movement of mine beyond where she was sitting would bring about a fresh bout of tears.

Another problem was that Maya wasn't eating anything. But I knew it was the medicines & the illness that was prompting all these reactions. The second day into the medicines when she still wasn't eating I spoke with her a little sternly. I didn't want her to have medicines on an empty stomach.

The moment the words were out of my mouth Maya started crying bitterly. She sobbed as if her little heart would break. And in between sobs she told me .'You don't love me any more. I make cards for you with hearts on it, but u still yell at me all the time. I'm small, no? Does anyone yell at such a small child? (This is an exact translation of what she told me & Maya is only 4.)

I gaped at her with my mouth open. I felt so damn miserable & it hurt real bad. And I cried with her. Why was she speaking like this? Was I really that bad?

Later after we both calmed down I got thinking. Maya was a happy child. What had prompted her to say what she had? I knew she missed me but the words she used that day were too much for me to bear.

I realized that it was probably her fever speaking .& quite a bit of television too.

Kids are so perceptive. Maya was hurt that day when I cried. But after that she used the 'You don't love me anymore' line more often.

She had realized the power emotional blackmail had. Well .I wasn't falling for that again. Though it was genuine that day..it usually was uncalled for after that. I spoke with her & tried to make her understand how much her words hurt me & that pulling her up for anything that she did wrong did NOT mean that I didn't love her.

Maya doesn't use that line as often now .well, not quite as often.


- maya ki mummy