This is what Amar Saxena posted in our guest book. It’s something that worries many parents I know, and am hoping all of us can help Amar with our suggestions:

‘The other day we had some guests come over for dinner.

My son, who is about ten, was getting bored since there were no children accompanying the guests. He asked my permission to play on the net. I gave the permission.

After a while I just thought of looking up to what he is doing. And to my greatest shock, I found him watching a porn site!!

He quickly closed the page, but I retrieved it and told him that what he was doing was wrong .That these are bad sites and he is a child.

I didn’t get angry and tried to put some sense in him. But, by God I’m still shaken. My child? Watching such sites?

Please help and tell me if I need to do something more to save him from such things again.’

Amar, I think you handled the situation in a rather mature manner. Most parents with a computer and a net connection at home will face such a situation sooner or later and I, for one, do worry about it. What you could try and do is block access to certain sites and also see if you can block certain keyword searches. Am not sure how this can be done, but am sure someone more net savvy can guide you.

Television, I think, is a big culprit. Thanks to the indiscriminate programming, the overtly sexual music videos and item songs in films, children are unfortunately exposed to this at a much earlier age.

Do talk to your son at some point and try and find out why he went to that site. Also try and find out if some of his friends/ cousins/ your relatives recommended it to him or he saw them surfing such sites.

Try and keep yourself as updated as possible about your son’s life.

Most important: don’t worry too much. You seem like a very sensible parent and am sure you will handle this parenting roadbump well.

– Mom at work

Something Jaya Bachchan said on Koffee With Karan yesterday really struck a chord.

She said everyone spoke of Abhishek Bachchan as Amitabh Bachchan's son. No one ever called him Jaya Bachchan's son. She was most irritated that her role, and it is a big one, had never been acknowledged.

That struck a huge chord. As the mother of a four-year-old, I can already feel the pinch.

I'd really like to know:

Why is the identification with one parent, the father, so vital?

Why is the father's signature vital on documents? Why won't the mother's signature, or either parent's signature, do?

Why does the child always have to take the father's surname?

Especially when, in most cases, it is mother — working or otherwise — who plays a major role in the nurturing of the child?

I’m not saying the father is not important, but why negate the role of one parent — and that too the parent who, I believe, has a much bigger role to play in the child’s life?

Dentists and my four-year-old son did not have a very good relationship.  

This, despite the fact that he yet had to visit one. 

It all started with Bubbles Has A Toothache, a book many young parents will be familiar with.  

For those who are not, here goes: Bubbles is a little monkey around whom a series of books has been created. They are not very well done, but kids seem to love them and they are reasonably priced.

 Bubbles does things like eating too much and getting a stomach ache, learning the woes of littering and being selfish and being careless, and eating too much candy.

In this last, which is one of my son's favourite tales, Bubbles does not listen to his mom and eats too much candy. As a result, he has a bad tooth and ends up having to go to the dentist.

The good thing that came from reading this book is that my son began limiting himself to one candy a day.

If anyone offered more than one, he'd refuse with a smile and say, "I don't want a tooth ache."

I did not expect this to last for long, but a Bubbles reminder still generally works when he feels like going wild with chocolate.

The bad thing was, he decided dentists were bad news and he was never going to visit one.

As to how I eventually got him to the dentist, that's another story J.

– Mom at work

Our nails are not buffed. Our hair has been hurriedly bundled into a pony tail or a bun.

Our visits to a beauty parlour have been few and far in between. There's no trace of make-up on our faces and the clothes we are wearing are generally the first things we could lay our hands on when we reached inside the cupboard.

Or should that be wardrobe?

Anyway, there are many times when I wonder: Is there something wrong with me? Or my friends? Or the people I like?

We seem to be a different breed — a kind looked down upon because we don't seem to fit the mould.

This kind of feeling generally descends on me when I drop my son to school in the morning. After that, the moms — yes, it's generally the moms who drop the bachchas to school if they are not taking the school bus — tend to gather around for a quick chat.

Conversations are generally about how to hairstyles, beauty treatments, shopping, diet, weight loss and how many extra classes your child is taking. The kids in question, just by the way, are less than five years old.

No one talks of books. Outings discussed tend to be to the mall — not the park, the beach, the zoo or the science centre.

What gives? Am not sure. Yours truly is generally a silent spectator. After a couple of years at school, am still trying to break into the social cycle. I guess I just don't have the 'right' conversational skills.

– Mom at work

Another gem I got in my mailbox.
Enjoy!  - maya ki mummy 

Mommy Test 

  I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I
took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s
been, it’s dirty and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration
and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so
smart.”
I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the
Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a
Mommy.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
evidently pondering this new information. “OH…I get it!” she
beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the
daddy.”
“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.