Something Jaya Bachchan said on Koffee With Karan yesterday really struck a chord.

She said everyone spoke of Abhishek Bachchan as Amitabh Bachchan's son. No one ever called him Jaya Bachchan's son. She was most irritated that her role, and it is a big one, had never been acknowledged.

That struck a huge chord. As the mother of a four-year-old, I can already feel the pinch.

I'd really like to know:

Why is the identification with one parent, the father, so vital?

Why is the father's signature vital on documents? Why won't the mother's signature, or either parent's signature, do?

Why does the child always have to take the father's surname?

Especially when, in most cases, it is mother — working or otherwise — who plays a major role in the nurturing of the child?

I’m not saying the father is not important, but why negate the role of one parent — and that too the parent who, I believe, has a much bigger role to play in the child’s life?

Dentists and my four-year-old son did not have a very good relationship.  

This, despite the fact that he yet had to visit one. 

It all started with Bubbles Has A Toothache, a book many young parents will be familiar with.  

For those who are not, here goes: Bubbles is a little monkey around whom a series of books has been created. They are not very well done, but kids seem to love them and they are reasonably priced.

 Bubbles does things like eating too much and getting a stomach ache, learning the woes of littering and being selfish and being careless, and eating too much candy.

In this last, which is one of my son's favourite tales, Bubbles does not listen to his mom and eats too much candy. As a result, he has a bad tooth and ends up having to go to the dentist.

The good thing that came from reading this book is that my son began limiting himself to one candy a day.

If anyone offered more than one, he'd refuse with a smile and say, "I don't want a tooth ache."

I did not expect this to last for long, but a Bubbles reminder still generally works when he feels like going wild with chocolate.

The bad thing was, he decided dentists were bad news and he was never going to visit one.

As to how I eventually got him to the dentist, that's another story J.

– Mom at work

Our nails are not buffed. Our hair has been hurriedly bundled into a pony tail or a bun.

Our visits to a beauty parlour have been few and far in between. There's no trace of make-up on our faces and the clothes we are wearing are generally the first things we could lay our hands on when we reached inside the cupboard.

Or should that be wardrobe?

Anyway, there are many times when I wonder: Is there something wrong with me? Or my friends? Or the people I like?

We seem to be a different breed — a kind looked down upon because we don't seem to fit the mould.

This kind of feeling generally descends on me when I drop my son to school in the morning. After that, the moms — yes, it's generally the moms who drop the bachchas to school if they are not taking the school bus — tend to gather around for a quick chat.

Conversations are generally about how to hairstyles, beauty treatments, shopping, diet, weight loss and how many extra classes your child is taking. The kids in question, just by the way, are less than five years old.

No one talks of books. Outings discussed tend to be to the mall — not the park, the beach, the zoo or the science centre.

What gives? Am not sure. Yours truly is generally a silent spectator. After a couple of years at school, am still trying to break into the social cycle. I guess I just don't have the 'right' conversational skills.

– Mom at work

Another gem I got in my mailbox.
Enjoy!  - maya ki mummy 

Mommy Test 

  I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I
took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s
been, it’s dirty and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration
and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so
smart.”
I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the
Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a
Mommy.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
evidently pondering this new information. “OH…I get it!” she
beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the
daddy.”
“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face. 

I read this somewhere on the net. Simply loved it.

'Making the decision to have a child it’s momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.'

- Elizabeth Stone

How true!

Btw .

When I told Maya in december, that I was going to have a baby…she thought for a while.
Then she asked me, 'So does this mean you are going to get married again?'

Kids!!! I tell u!

- maya ki mummy

As much as we like to treat our kid as a “little fellow” who knows nothing in this world, we expect him to do things like we do — like elders.

For example, we would love it if our kids are potty trained early in life by themselves or learns to eat properly like adults or behaves like the way we would given a situation.

Have we ever stopped and thought what it is to be a child? Do we ever look at the world like they do? We've all gone thru' the some/same childhood pains, but don't remember them now.

However, all the actions that have been condemned by elders around us when were a kid have made us what we are today. Think about it!

Anyways, coming back to my child ' Arya he's 1 yr and 5 months. People around me have amazing expressions when they know that I still feed him or he still eats ONLY soft and pureed meals or he makes a big mess of any food that you offer him on a plate or he does not know how to sip from a glass and drink.

I keep wondering why we need to hurry a child in learning something that we have mastered (have we?) after at least 20 yrs in our lives. People still eat messily; they still don't chew their food well before swallowing ' so how do you expect an infant to be correct?

Every time, we run around telling him “NO” for every small explore that he undertakes I myself do that and then refrain.

This morning, Arya's granny was very excited that he eats a small piece of egg omelet ' well, he did give it his best try but did not work out! He just threw up all the breakfast he had eaten as well. Granny's explanation was that he'll get used to it ' and we need to keep trying. My argument was that the day he's ready he'll begin eating and there is no reason for us to force him to do so.

Then again the comparison game begins ' saying a younger child in the neighborhood is already eating normal meals!!

I again repeat myself ' can we please allow every child to grow at his / her own pace?

I would love to know your thoughts on this.

- Sudha Shankar