Improve your Body Language

1. Don’t cross your arms or legs ' You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.

2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare ' If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure.

3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space ' Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.

4. Relax your shoulders ' When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.

5. Nod when they are talking ' nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.

6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight ' but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.

7. Lean, but not too much ' If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.

8. Smile and laugh ' lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.

9. Don’t touch your face ' it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.

10. Keep you head up - Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.

11. Slow down a bit ' this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap you’re neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.

12. Don’t fidget ' try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across.

13. Use your hands more confidently ' instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make.

14. Lower your drink ' don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.

15. Realise where you spine ends ' many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose

16. Don’t stand too close 'one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.

17. Mirror - Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring.

18. Keep a good attitude ' last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference. For information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel and for relaxation try A very simple way to feel relaxed for 24 hours.

Workplace Rules

Treat People as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."

Generational Graciousness

It seems that today the rule is to break all the rules! Unfortunately, when it comes to how we treat one another, some people don’t even know the rules. Or maybe one generation knows them and another generation doesn’t. This can lead to challenges, upsets, miscommunication and lack of fluidity in interpersonal communications

Basics of etiquettes

The only way this challenge can be overcome is to return to a few basics that aren’t so much about strict etiquette rules, but more about good old-fashion kindness. This will keep the courtesy going and make working around multigenerational mixes more productive and profitable.

Respect

The First Basic: Respect: We all want respect, no matter what age we are. Not only for what we can contribute but also for the simple fact that we have survived for any length of time. The more mature worker may feel that the years they have put in have earned them respect, while the younger worker feels their skills and newly acquired education earn them respect. Both are right. The challenge is not to think that one is better than the other in terms of who deserves more respect. The key is to know that each person, no matter how long they’ve worked or how adept their skill set, deserves respect, because we are all experiencing the human condition.

Rules

Call people by their formal name when meeting them for the first time unless you are introduced to them by only their first name. Otherwise address everyone formally until they ask you to use their first name. Do this with everyone you meet, it’s a sign of respect and it’s ageless.

2. Introduce everyone, no matter who they are. If you want to break down barriers, between different ages groups, genders and nationalities, you need to make people feel valued. The best way to do this is to introduce people to each other whenever the opportunity presents itself. Always over-introduce and you will show your etiquette savvy and important allies too.

A few Respect Ideas

. Be the first to extend your hand for a handshake, and look the person in the eye. This small act of courtesy goes a long way in making sure all generations work well together. In today’s more casual society some people have forgotten this very important gesture. Everyone needs to learn to give a good handshake that conveys the message, “Welcome! I’m open to engage in conversation with you!” If you have a wimpy handshake, work on improving it since this gesture will backfire if instead of showing your confidence and charm you show your lack of it.

Say “Please” and “Thank you”! This little courtesy is vital to show respect, make people understand you are aware of what they can and have done, and also to help you in all communications with others. When a person forgets something as simple as a “please” or “thank you” it shows lack of concern for others which is disrespectful and degrading

The Second Basic - Kindness

Anyone who thinks that kindness isn’t a necessity in today’s work environment isn’t thinking. Kindness is one of the most important skills in dealing with people of all ages. Every living thing responds to kindness. Use this skill and good things will happen.

A few kindness ideas…

1. Ask others if you can get them something while you’re up or while you’re out. This will show your willingness to help others and also that you are thinking of more than yourself.

2. Pick up after yourself so others don’t have to. This is a kindness no one will notice unless you don’t do it and then it will not only be noticed, but talked about and resented.

3. Keep gossip or hurtful information to yourself. This is one of the most beneficial things for everyone. Gossip is not kind. Would you like someone to gossip about you?

The Third Basic - Integrity

When we make a promise or give our word we need to follow through on our word. If we are unable to keep the promise or fulfill the commitment, we must be prepared to make things right. Trust is a fragile thing…very easily broken and very difficult to regain. People who have integrity are people we can trust.

Business Etiquette Essentials

Experts suggest applying these basic guidelines to managing all business relationships:

Start with consideration and respect. No matter whom you come in contact with, that person deserves respectful treatment. Even if you dislike someone or his or her own behavior, you'll come out on top if you consider that person's needs and maintain a respectful manner.

Never interrupt. In casual work environments, people can easily forget basic courtesy, and interruption becomes a real problem. Remember that it's always rude to interrupt, especially when someone is making an important point or addressing a group. Walking unannounced or uninvited into someone's office is another form of interruption, and it makes a bad impression. "You may not need to make an appointment to see your boss or a colleague," but you should always make sure the person is not busy when you want to talk."

Leave gender out of the equation. Coworkers are peers, regardless of gender. It isn't necessary to compliment a man's attire or hold a door open for a woman. In fact, some professionals see such behavior as insulting or demeaning. "People confuse common courtesy with chivalry," says Gregg. "If someone is struggling with a load of books, it's only polite to offer to help. But if a guy holds a door open and says 'After you, ladies,' he may be viewed as a pig. The office is not the right place for chivalry." Of course, dirty jokes, off-color remarks, and discussion of certain private matters are no-no's, period.

Language counts. Your point won't come across any better if you use rude, derogatory, or obscene language, no matter whom you're addressing. Talk like a professional and you'll be seen as one.

Be careful which "crowd" you associate with. It may be more fun to hang out with the group that talks loudly, cracks jokes, and makes fun of coworkers, but doing so could leave a bad impression with the boss. "It's nice to fit in  "especially when you have to spend so much time with the same people. But work isn't a place where you hang out with friends and laugh it up. It's a place to get work done

Professionalism

If you talk to a lot of different people, you’ll find that the word professionalism has many definitions?or, rather, interpretations. But whether your job is mowing lawns, driving a truck, managing a store, or running a large company, there are common on-the-job traits that define any working person as a true professional. In other words, the job doesn’t make you a professional, but your attitude does.

Even though everyone recognizes a true professional in action, there are many misconceptions about what constitutes professionalism. If you don’t take the right approach to this important issue, then rest assured: your customers, colleagues, and managers won’t see you as a professional, no matter what you think about yourself.

Let’s look at some popular interpretations of professionalism, and some traits that all true professionals exhibit, regardless of their occupation

What’s the greatest misconception about professionalism? It’s probably the notion that professionalism is all about money.

“There are lots of people who think ‘I’m getting paid, so that makes me a professional.’

Is possessing Credentials Professionalism?

Like money, many people believe that credentials?such as diplomas, degrees, and specialized certifications?contribute to professionalism. But while credentials can help, they don’t mean a lot if a worker doesn’t know how to act.

SO WHAT MAKES A PROFESSIONAL

Money, training, and status aside, many long-time workers and managers will tell you that professionalism is a matter of attitude and behavior. It means not just knowing how to do your job, but demonstrating a willingness to learn, cooperating and getting along with others, showing respect, and living up to your commitments. It also means avoiding many kinds of behaviors that cause trouble in the workplace.

“It doesn’t matter whether you’re a ditch digger or the president of a university,” says Gregg. “If you behave the way people expect a professional to behave, you’ll be accepted and treated like one."

Answer the following questions

Do you truly have all the skills required to be successful at your job? If not, are you in the process of learning them? A key trait among professionals is knowing what to do and when to do it. Just as important, they know what not to do. Avoiding incorrect or inappropriate actions is crucial to your success.

Do you communicate well with others? This means more than just conveying your own thoughts and ideas. It means being able to listen thoughtfully and respecting the thoughts and ideas of other people.

Do your managers see you in the right light? “This is tough for anyone,” says Gregg, “but you need to look at yourself through your boss’ eyes.” Does your boss approve of your attire, the hours you keep, the way you conduct yourself in general? Does the boss seem comfortable coming to you with special projects or to discuss problems or ideas? If not, you may need to make some changes. “If you think your manager has a problem with your level of professionalism,” says Gregg, “by all means, talk it out. Ask for advice. Let your boss know you want to improve, and ask for mentoring if you think it’s needed

What’s your integrity level? The workplace can be cut-throat, but if you are seen as conniving or a cheater, your image will suffer. And “never, ever tell a lie, especially to the boss,” says Lamb. “I don’t want my employees to lie to me, even if they think they’re telling me something I want to hear.”

Do you practice the golden rule? “A true professional treats others with respect, and expects the same from them,” says Gregg. “This doesn’t mean you have to let people step on you, but it does mean showing concern for their feelings, respecting their opinions, and being honest with them. If you think someone else is mistreating you, deal with it and tell them you won’t tolerate disrespect.”

Do you live up to your commitments? In any job, you agree to do certain tasks. Some tasks you must do routinely, without being asked, and management may ask you to take on other responsibilities. A real test of your professionalism comes in your ability to meet all these commitments while upholding the standards of quality and timeliness set by your employer. But it doesn’t mean breaking your neck in the process. “We’re all human,” says Lamb. “Managers value workers who know when to ask for help, or who can admit when they’re overloaded. If asking for help means that the work will get done, and that your commitments are being met, then that’s a good thing. Good managers understand that the load has to be shared sometimes, and respect employees who are smart enough to ask for help.”

Telephone Etiquettes

Speak clearly. It's annoying when someone mumbles on the other end of the line. Always assume that the other party can't hear you well. Also, avoid tucking the phone's handset under your chin as you talk.

Ask permission before using a speakerphone. Whether you place or receive a call, use the handset first. It's rude to dial a number and snatch up the handset when you hear the other person answer the phone, and it creates a loud click in his or her earpiece. Don't switch to the speakerphone without asking for permission. ("Do you mind if I use the speakerphone?") Many people simply don't like conversing over a speakerphone.

Always introduce yourself. Even if you think the other person will recognize your voice, and even if you know the other person uses caller ID, always introduce yourself when making a call. (A simple "Hello, Betty. This is Fred" will do nicely.) It's also a good idea to identify yourself when you answer the phone, and people have many personalized ways of doing this. Don't let the other person wonder?even for a second?who is on the other end of the line.

Call back quickly. If you can't answer the phone and the caller leaves a message, make a point of calling back as quickly as possible. (Some companies have a policy of returning calls the same business day.) Failing to return a call is often seen as a sign of disrespect, and you want colleagues and customers to know that you care about them. If you can't return a call quickly, be sure to apologize when you do call back. Never use "I'm really busy" as an excuse for not taking or returning a call. Hey, everybody's busy, so it's no excuse.

Avoid juggling calls. If you're on the line with someone, avoid putting him or her on hold to take another call, unless the second call is truly important. People don't like being put on hold.

Use the hold button politely. If you absolutely must put someone on hold, ask politely before doing so. ("May I put you on hold for a moment while I look up the information you need?") If you think you'll need to put the caller on hold for more than a few seconds, offer to end the conversation and call back later.

Learn how to use your phone's features before making a call. Have you ever been disconnected while someone tried to pick up another line or set up a conference call? You can avoid time and embarrassment by learning how to use such features before actually using the phone. If your employer provides high-tech, multi-feature phones, read the manual.

Keep voice mail messages brief. Some people feel compelled to spell out every last detail when leaving a voice mail message, and this usually isn't necessary. It takes time for the other person to listen to all that information. Besides, if you're going to talk later anyway, why bother? Keep voice messages as short as possible. State your name and the reason for your call (in the fewest words possible), and leave a number where you can be reached. It's also a good idea to mention the best time to call back.

Remember: When you leave a message, you're being recorded. Many voice mail systems allow users to save messages or forward them to other people. Don't assume the listener is going to automatically delete your message; if he doesn't it can come back to haunt you. Never be rude or abusive in a voice mail message, and never use obscenities or make threats. And don't make any promises you can't keep!

Don't use voice mail as a way to avoid talking to people. Some people have made an art of using voice mail to "screen" their calls. They almost never answer their phones, and force others to communicate with them by leaving voice mail messages. This wastes time, and it's just plain rude. Besides, people see through this ploy. You don't want to get a reputation as the person who never answers the phone; if you do, people will simply stop calling you, and this can be bad for your career

Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.”  —  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whether you work for a small non-profit organization, a giant multi-national corporation, or something in-between, chances are you spend many hours a day in close proximity to other people. Too often, simple misunderstandings among co-workers lead to workplace tension. On the comics page, Dilbert's cubicle suffering provides us with a shared laugh. Unfortunately, in the real world these stresses decrease both business productivity and employee job satisfaction.

Sound

Monitor the volume of your conversations. Be sensitive to how loudly you may be speaking. Do you notice that people down the hall comment on your conversations? That might indicate your voice is too loud. Consider closing your office door and lowering your voice whenever speaking in person or on the telephone.

Keep personal telephone conversations?and emails?brief and at a minimum. Be ever mindful that others are nearby and that this is a place of business.  Do not use the company telephone, fax, or email, for any inappropriate and personal matters.

In some workplaces, privacy is difficult to find. If you overhear a private conversation, practice selective hearing. Avoid the urge to be "helpful" in areas best left to the other person to handle on their own. Your best bet for being treated as a professional at work is to keep all workplace conversations professional. 

Sharing professional information is wonderful, gossiping is not. Only discuss personnel matters directly with specific individuals, superiors, and management

Scents

Be sensitive to scents and smells surrounding you. Save cologne and perfume for social occasions, and ask if fresh flowers and potpourri bother co-workers before installing them in your space.

When eating at your desk or in shared areas, avoid foods with strong smells and aromas that will travel throughout the office. As great as French fries, Chinese food, and Indian food are, smelling them together in the same room and office can become unpleasant. Dispose of empty food containers and other items where they won't contribute negatively to the office atmosphere.

SIGHT

Keep your personal workspace clean and neat at all times. Generally, less is better when it comes to office and cubicle decor. Use discretion when displaying personal items such as family photos and mementos so as not to overdo, clutter, and obstruct your work area.

Use shared areas with respect and courtesy. Workplace kitchens can be the biggest source of co-worker tension. If you expect everyone you work with to cleanup after themselves, model that behavior yourself.  Wash and return all kitchen items to their proper place, clean spills, and wipe countertops and tables as needed. Help maintain supplies as needed. When leaving food items in a shared refrigerator, mark all items with your name and date. Remove all items at the end of your work week and toss or recycle empty containers.

Sight..

Restrooms run a close second to kitchens as annoyance spots. After use, wipe the countertop and sink of any spilled water or soap. Be sure the toilet is clean for the next user. Notify the proper attendant if supplies are low or out, and of any plumbing problems.

Maintain all shared items in "like new" condition and return borrowed supplies. Leave the photocopier in working condition and be sure to take back that borrowed stapler with at least a few staples left inside. If a machine stalls or jams, take time to undo the jam or to alert the proper person to attend to it. We all expect and want to be able to use items and equipment when needed

Thanks

How to handle Negative People

We have all encountered people that complain about work, family, finances, politics, dining, sports, driving, and anything that does not go the way they want it to in their lives. There is never a silver lining. Everything happens to them because of the works of others. They know all the answers and will not stop until their beliefs are accepted. When you have to deal with these people and can not remove them from your existence, try the following five ways to overcome their negative aura with positive energy.

1) Listen and don’t interrupt.

People of this nature need attention and must be heard. Interrupting them only sparks more fuel to the fire because they need to prove their point of view is right. Once they are interrupted, they tune out everything you have to say and any valid points you have will not be received.

2) Point out positive ideas in their stories.

Once they have stopped taking over the conversation, politely point out the positive points in their stories. A “look at the bright side”, “it could be worse”, or “you definitely mean well” phrase usually calms them down and makes them believe you are a proponent. After all, they are complaining or pushing the envelope only to gain some allies.

3) Keep discussions and emails succinct.

The less time spent entertaining them, the better for your positive mental energy. When conversations are short, it provides less time and energy for them to attack and hone in on negative remarks. Negative people painstakingly take the time to point out everyone’s flaws but their own. They never take the blame for anything but deflect it on others’ persuasive tactics or incompetence. Keeping interactions short limits the attacks on other people and their opportunities to “throw others under the bus”.

4) Make them feel good about themselves.

Usually negative people have self-esteem issues or are not happy with some aspect of their life. If at all possible, give three small complements and/or words of encouragement or reinforcement to temporarily satisfy the happiness they are yearning. These compliments can be related to anything - fashion, timeliness, weight loss, intelligence, great children, or athleticism.

5) Agree to Disagree

Every conversation or interaction does not have to end in an argument. Yes, you can agree there are many incompetent people with jobs. True, you can agree that another approach may have been better for the circumstance. Indeed, people can make mistakes and take advantage of what matters most to an individual because every one has different priorities in life. Being non-confrontational with a confrontational person calms the spirit, especially when they are caught off-guard with the phrase “Let’s agree to disagree”. Positive, calm-spirited individuals will tell you that it makes no sense to argue with a negative person because they must always have the final say and of course, must be right.

Life definitely deals everyone some challenges but it is not what happens that determines the outcome but the reaction and action put in place to overcome the circumstance. Too often, people dwell in the complaining stage and make themselves victims to some avoidable situations, eventually becoming a negative person.

These five methods can help you keep your cool and remain peaceful and positive when dealing with these types of people. Of course, the best approach is to minimize or alleviate communications. However, when this is not possible, at least you are armed with techniques to keep your positive mindset.

            HOW TO GET SUCCESS
           

Firstly - Your expectations affect your attitude.  

It’s AMAZING how much attitude has to do with  success.  A negative or cynical attitude is enough to prevent you from giving your best effort and attention to your goals,  which will lead to lukewarm results…

You’ve got to be fired up, passionate, and committed to your goals — as if your life depended on achieving  them.  Because your Success certainly does!

 Your expectations affect your willingness to take action.  

Not only will a negative expectation taint your attitude… it will also determine the intensity - and frequency of your actions.

On the other hand…

When you’re motivated and inspired about your goals and ‘expect’ them to bring forth a lucrative outcome, your determination will skyrocket and you’ll move forward deliberately and swiftly.

Your expectations affect your interactions with others.

Yes, that’s right!

People can sense a negative or uneasy attitude even if you don’t say a word (though it does seep into your language too).  

A confident, positive person with a clear focus and solid plan of action is someone that everyone would want to work with!  

Not only will you feel better by expecting the best in every situation…
But your potential partners and benefactors will be inspired by your vision and determination, and be more likely to work with you.

Changing your expectations is *all* about changing your inner programming.

1. The Most Important Thing Bosses Do Is Help OTHERS Succeed:

This sounds simple, but bosses got promoted because of their personal achievements. Now, they have to shift the focus from themselves to the growth of those who report to them. In other words, it’s not about YOU, boss. It’s about the troops. If they do well, you should, too.

2. Managers Cannot Treat Everyone The Same:

Great bosses learn how to customize their approach to each person. Yes, they hold true to core values, but don’t assume that they have to act in identical ways with each staffer. They manage people as the complex individuals they are. And that’s a real skill.

3. IQ Gets Bosses Only So Far; EQ Takes Them to The Next Level:

I’m talking about emotional intelligence: the ability to be self-aware, self-managing, socially aware and adept at managing relationships. This means knowing how to read the emotions of others as well as our own, to know how to power up or power down in synch with a situation, to build trust through expertise, integrity and empathy.

4. People Fall In Love With Ideas & Solutions Of Their Own Creation:

It’s faster and easier to tell people what to do; but when people come up with their own ideas, they are much more invested in them. Anyone who’s ever assigned stories knows this one. Journalists love the project they come up with more than the one that’s given them. When we put our personal stamp on something, we care more about it. This applies in work assignments, negotiation and conflict resolution.

5. Coaching Is A Critical Skill:

Bosses who “fix” the work of others don’t help them grow. Fixing may be faster, but has short-term impact. Coaching takes more time but the results last. Fixing is about the product, coaching is about the person. With good coaching, the person and the product improve.

6. Staffers Must See You, Not Your Evil Twin:

What’s the difference between visionary and delusional, a roll-up-my-sleeves helper and a micromanager, or between confidence and arrogance? It’s often in the the way the leader communicates and the staff perceives her. Leaders can’t assume their employees can read their minds. It’s hard work to make your intentions clear.

7. Conflict Doesn’t Get Better If It Is Ignored:

The best bosses build cultures where conflict may be inevitable among smart, creative people, but it is handled extremely well. Differences are aired, values are clear, people are held accountable, and bullies don’t win.

8. Intrinsic Motivation Is The Most Powerful.

The best work gets done when people motivate themselves. That’s intrinsic motivation: Internal engines like competence, choice, meaningfulness and progress. Or the joy of working with a team, or achieving something solo. Great bosses know what drives each person they lead.

9. Managing Change Is A Constant Responsibility:

Change can make people very uncomfortable, but leaders must move people in new directions, toward new opportunities. Today’s newsrooms are undergoing massive changes of culture, workflow, skill sets, formats and technology. Great leaders build bridges to the future.

10. Leaders Inspire Others:

There’s meaning, honor and dignity in every form of honest work. Don’t fear that you will look corny by sharing a vision, a passion, or a dream. The best bosses make us feel better about ourselves, our work and our goals. Dare to inspire.

Happy Indepenceday

No one can predict to

what heights you can soar

Even you will not know

until you spread your wings