mycorner’s blog

We never knew about Stress until someone told us and then we are all stressed out. I think even writing this post i am having stress , never mind that. It all started in office as a part of the balance score card where by each one of us has to complete the 40 hours of training for which we get the CPE credit. Our Bosses target was that before March they will have n number of trainings for the team. Hence, we get mails one fine day from our Finance controller announcing that we should keep our calendars free on 13th Feb. As if if we had any choice! I mean even if it is a 4 hour training we need to inform from top to bottom and vice versa, huh! Ahoy! we are going on the Stress Management Training, we learnt.

I never knew that the preparation for the Training will give me so much of stress until the responsibility of finalizing the venue landed on my head and then asking each one's opinion if they want the night out as well. It went on and on and thankfully my VP only finalized the venue. Last year while going to the team outing i had become quite an expert in negotiating the resort prices and i was very thankful that this time i didn't have to break my head. Last time he made me negotiate for good 3 days ,but then we got our price .

Back to this one now ..there was a list to be made, transport to be arranged, lots of opinion also mattered etc etc. Luckily i took one sick leave so all this stuff also passed to another colleague. So when i reached next day, the list was done and also the talks with ESS had also taken place. However, i didn't know there was something waiting for me as always, me and my colleague were officially announced as the project managers for the arrangements! And from then it was all about the stress, making and revising the list, finalizing the menu, the cab timings, route maps and u name it and i have it! We were suppose to start at 7:30 from office which we did and reached Doddi Resort (soon to be Royal Orchid).

A huge breakfast table awaited us and we hogged on, it seemed as if none in the team had the luxury of having breakfast peacefully. We ate and ate, i mean everything on that table, right from idli to aloo parantha and masal dosa! So we ate wholeheartedly and stomach full and then the training began ..How to Manage Stress?

So we started and it went on, there were cute pillows the bolsters and mattresses to sit on and we were too glad to have them and sat there listening. It all started by writing down the problem which gives us the stress in the note pad and think about it and then he asked us to blind fold and dance! We all danced on that weird African Beat, he had asked us to concentrate on the problem ..i dunno  about others but the focus moved on to dance rather than problem.Music stopped and we sat down and he asked us the experience, each one had some thoughts to share. This went on and on and there were lot of blind fold dances, thankfully the music had started improving. There were 2 tea breaks and lunch break. What was summed up - Stress is the Perception of Threat and our perception of our inability to not to deal with that threat. Now whatever that means, what they explained was that when there is a problem, we need to look at the options which means we need to reframe the problem and context in which we are looking at it. Hence, the responsibility is on us to look at the problem positively. For eg. Our Boss should say to the junior - to come early and not pointing out that he is coming late daily. I am not sure how far this holds true. Hence, he moved on like this, end result, most of knew all about having a positive attitude, to face the problem and challenge and all such stuff. But the person who is able to put all this in practice is the one who can manage stress. The biggest point was - Its all in your mind hence your thoughts! Thus, we should concentrate on controlling and managing our thoughts. If we can do this positively we can manage stress. Before we finished, the trainers divided us into 2 groups and made us stand in two circle, inner and outer. So each one had a partner facing each other and we had to talk to each other, the questions and discussions were on the meaning of our names, how was our experience in our company, our biggest disappointments, the first crush, best childhood memory, 5 years down the line and while this was happening, they will ask us to move as well, finally we came and stood in the front of the partner where we had begin. I guess this was the best part, reason being we got to know each other a little better!

Moral of story - Be positive, think rationally, don't let the problem invade your mind. Control your thoughts and reframe them, reframe the situation, the context, be empathetic. What means is the positive attitude and positive thoughts in one's mind. If all this is in sync then we will not have stress .

None of us know how good that session was, I don't know if i was de-stressed but it was a day out and off from office work so we made most of that and I guess 'cos we were away from work, we were de-stressed.

This didn't last long though, within 5 mins when we left the venue, i get a call from my VP asking if we can drop in on Saturday to finish some work .I was already stressed out again.

It is something i received in my mail from a friend and I am putting it here as it is.I guess whatever is there holds true to almost to every one, may be less may be more but its touching and so very sweet :)…..reading it one almost gets drifted to those old times which were just so good that u don’t want to forget them…………

Read, ponder and keep going……..thats the way it is I guess……

Good Old Days .

When gulli-danda and kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket ..

When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy),chhepan-chhepai
and pitthoo, antakshari anytime .

When we desperately waited for ‘yeh jo hai jindagi’ ..

When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, dada daadi ki kahaniyaan were so
fulfilling .

When there was just one tv in every five houses.

When bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas
will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting down
at stations to fill up the water bottle ..

When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except for the ‘yeh jo hai
jindagi’ day ..
When in winters after school we used to be on roof enjoying moongfalee,
santara, ganna with chatting neighbour friends.

When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and
moms seeking our help while preparing them .

When Maths teachers were not worried of our mummys and papas while
slapping/beating us ..

When we were exchanging comics and stamps and chacha-chaudaris and
billus were our heroes …

When we were in nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and
plucking and eating unripe mangoes.

When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked
for and ‘ek do teen chaar’ and ‘Rajni’ inspired us .

When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees …

When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough
work or even fair work .

When ‘chelpark’ and ‘natraaj’ were encouraged against ‘reynolds and
family’ ..

When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud
and making ‘kaagaj ki kishtis’ …

When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their
homes at six in the evening .

When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored ‘antardesis’ and 5
paise machhli wale stamps at home.

When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding ‘ice-cream and
papa’ type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ..

When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on Holis as air
and noise polluting or allergic agents …

the list can be endless ..

on the serious note I would like to summarise with .

When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for
scientifically brainy activities like ‘thinking’ and ‘deciding’ .

When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more
sincerily .

When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future .
When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak .

When sharing worries and happinesses didnt mean getting vulnerable to
the listener .

When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys .

When journeys also were important and not just the destinations .

When life was a passenger’s sleeper giving enough time and opportunity
to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows
instead of some superfast’s second ac with its curtained, closed and dark
windows …

I really miss . do u?, if u do then please send this to all your
friends and loved ones.

I just smiled after reading it………….it said that I should send it further, so far I have not but I do plan to send it across and I just felt that putting here on blog will also be good…………..

It’s always the same , we learn things the hard way and I guess this is the reason that the life becomes precious and the decisions taken become important.
There are times when you do something knowing well that you don’t want to do a certain thing again the reasons, situations and circumstances force you to do so.
I am thinking this since a long period of time as to why am i doing job when I just wished to take a selfimposes break and enjoy my classes, again the situation or rather the ‘fear’ of losing the opportunity which came across my way.I still don’t have the courage to quit this job and sit at home for some more months.I know I am neither happy with the workplace nor with the work allotted to me yet I get up in the morning, take my time to dress up and rush to office.I will think of all stupid reason based on which I can take leave yet I will sit throughout the day in office making sure that I am here to work and work is all I should do…..it’s a different thing that most of the day I will have no work and I will just try not to fall asleep on my desk……

I used to think that I am one of the serious kinds but then when I enter in this office, I realise how outspoken and fun loving I am……this place is all gloomy, we have yellow lights when we could have whiter ones making the atmosphere brighter. People will not reach out to each other to make you feel belonged to this place……..I am still to find out a positive thing about my office…..yes it is just 12 kms from my home yet i take 45 minutes to 1 hour to reach office, the timings are not of graveyard shift yet I fail to stop myself from staring at watch after every half an hour, it is simply difficult to pass time here……………..yet I get up daily on time to rush to the office on time………………all because I will take a pay cheque at the month end………..and the search for the reason beyond this goes on……..

Some day, sometime I will be enlightened when that Power touches me and tells me -’yes, this is the reason for your existence, go and fulfill it’……..
And I will post one more blog to tell others -’yes, my search is over, I have found a meaning to my life.’ Till then, it is always like this……………just 15 minutes left for the clock to strike 6 and then I will be off to home………to my abode.

A friend of mine sent me this…….and i just felt that I can share this with fellow bloggers though some people must have read this artcile before.
However, as one will read this article times and again, I assume one can be better off with times to come over a period of time…….it’s just good simply good and plain simple to follow…………..so happy reading……

The 90/10 Principle

The 90/10 Principle Have you read  this  before?

Discover the 90/10  Principle. It will change your life (at  least the way  you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.    What does this   mean? We really have no    control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late  arriving,   which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You  determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction.

You cannot control  a red light.,  but you can control your reaction.

Don’t let people fool you; YOU can  control how  you react.

Let’s use an    example. You   are eating breakfast with    your family.   Your daughter  knocks over a  cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just  what happened.  What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.You curse. You harshly scold   your  daughter for knocking   the cup over. She breaks   down in tears.  After scolding  her, you turn    to your  spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of  the table. A   short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs   and change  your shirt. Back downstairs,  you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You   rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you   drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60   traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your  daughter runs into the  building without saying  goodbye. After arriving at the office 20     minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started  terrible. As it continues,   it seems to get worse and   worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home,  you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
 A) Did the coffee cause it?
 B) Did your daughter cause it?
 C) Did the policeman cause it?
 D) Did you  cause it?

The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5  seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.  You gently say, “It’s OK  honey, you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a  towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing   a new shirt  and your  briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios.

Both started the same. Both ended different.   Why? Because   of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over  10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
               
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is  incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress trials, problems and  heartache. There never seem to be a success in  life. Bad days follow bad  days. Terrible things seem to be constantly  happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken   relationships.  Worry consumes time. Anger breaks  friendships and life seems dreary and is   not enjoyed tothe fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do  not be discouraged .

You can be different!  Understand and apply the   90/10 principle. It will change  your life.

Cheers!

I friend of mine sent me this and I felt that the same was worth reading…………







One day I decided to quit…  
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… 
I wanted to quit my life. 
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.   
“God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?” 
His answer surprised me… 
“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?” 
“Yes”, I replied. 
“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. 
I gave them light. I gave them water. 
The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. 
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. 
But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. 
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said. 
“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. 
But I would not quit. 
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo see.
I would not quit.” He said. 
“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. 
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. 
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. 
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.” 
He said to me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been
struggling, you have actually been growing roots” 
“I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.” 
“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different
purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.” 
“Your time will come”, God said to me. “You will rise high” 
“How high should I rise” I asked. 
“How high will the bamboo rise” He asked in return. 
“As high as it can” I questioned. 
“Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.” 
I left the forest and brought back this story. 
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on 
Never Give up.

Its good out here and see I have to sit in the office and work but never mind, I enjoy working.
The weather is amazing with light drizzle and cool breeze blowing.I came late because humari cab ko punishment mili thee ek ghanta pehle aane ke liye so I came on my own.

Yesterday I posted two blogs, one was on reservation. It was a column written ny Barkha Dutt of NDTV under the heading Politics. So for those who missed it can read because it was really good.I am saying missed it ‘cos it was not vissible on my iland so I say that few of u missed it.Another was one whakiest link that I assumed you will enjoy and Rajesh did enjoy - heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I don’t know if others saw it or not but it is in the category Time Pass, however I do not want u to keep finding the same, I am pasting the link here again.Do visit this link http://home.comcast.net/~wolfand/ …………….plssssssssssssssssssssssssss ek baar mere liye.

Ok here comes the turn of the beautiful message - the title of the blog. I checked my yahoo id and there this link came thru a friend.When I clicked, I realised it was really good and wonderful and I shud share the same with you all. Its a presentation giving a brief review on our life style, a small one but worth looking…………..so here comes the beautiful message in the form of the new link - http://www.inlibertyandfreedom.com/Flash/Think_It_Over.swf.
And believe me you will have no regrets in visiting the link.

Till then take care and I enjoy the weather- its raining here after all………………..