my own boswell

The State of the Nation

Today, we are witnessing a great deal of disillusionment with politicians of all hues - left, right or centre - which found full expression at Jantar Mantar earlier this month, in full media glare.  You listen to the agitated public on the TV or the radio, you read `Letters to the Editor’ in newspapers and magazines, you glance through the blog-sites, and you can discern the disdain with which the ordinary citizen treats our politicians.  They are held responsible for every malaise in our society and they stand accused of murder and mayhem, misdemeanor and malfeasance.

So, what is it that has happened to the political system and the political leadership that there is such a trust deficit vis a vis the citizen and the political class in our country?  Is it not a fact that we are the ones who choose them to run the affairs of the nation and we get a chance periodically to renew and revise our mandate?  On a different plane, are we being true to ourselves if we assert that all politicians are corrupt and all others are paragons of virtue? We have many leaders in public life who are honest, sincere and committed.  If you look around, you will see for yourself that every section of society is grappling with corruption and other similar maladies – be it the judiciary, the civil service, the media or even the civil society, of course, in varying degrees. We are also increasingly hearing about corruption in the private sector. But, yes, as leaders elected by us to govern us, we expect better from our political leadership:  for, they have to lead by example.

So, how are We, the People, being accountable to the system? 

Very often, we get swayed by what the media dishes out. They too are doing a job, no doubt: yes, it is necessary to raise our voice against iniquities, injustice and indifference, as much as against corruption and criminality. But we must, at the same time, accept that with all its imperfections, democracy has served India well in the last six decades. Maybe, the safety valves that democracy has put in place have helped us in holding the nation together in spite of all the aberrations and incongruities that the system is enmeshed in. Perhaps, that is something which many of us tend to overlook, or maybe even ignore. If a system is not working well, we shouldn’t be demanding that it should be dismantled in its entirety; rather, we should work towards addressing those imperfections and aberrations to make the system work better. Or else, it could turn out to be a classic case of burning down the house to kill the mouse!

All systems of governance suffer from some or the other imperfections and aberrations, and democracy is no exception. We Indians would know it better than anyone else. But, democracy has survived through hundreds of years in the gram sabhas and samitis in India. That is because the citizens have a stake in its functioning, a very important role to play in running the system, more so because there is no tenure for anyone, and there is an accountability mechanism inherent in it. It took hundreds of years and prolonged battles and many killings before democracy established itself in its motherland, Britain. Our democratic polity, in the modern sense, is just 60 years old: spare a thought for the many diversities and the million mutinies that Indian democracy has faced, both external and internal, in the last six decades. Also, just for a second, ask what happened to all those other countries that gained Independence along with us - or after us: where are they today?

If there are drawbacks and demerits in the polity, we should find solutions for them rather than holding the entire political class responsible; after all, are not, we, the people, who provide legitimacy to them through every election? Are we not then equally culpable? So, if there is something rotten in India today, we are equally at fault. But a solution to that wouldn’t be to burn down the house to kill the mouse. Rather, we should strive to set the house in order by collective and consensual action – and not by confrontation - by involving all stakeholders.

The grassroots could be the first place to begin that journey, with concerted involvement of every segment of society – and especially the political leadership.

From Palermo to Palakkad, via New Delhi

God’s Own Country has suddenly found a new dimension! It is increasingly gaining a `reputation’ as the Land of the Mafia! Not just within India: that would have been understandable, of course! But, this time, the certification has been issued by a clerk in the American Embassy in New Delhi; needless to say, he got this interesting impression, thanks to his regular interactions with the babus in the North and South blocks, apart from some other interested blocks and blokes. Obviously, we can’t refer to them as vested interests, because ultimately they all have the interests of the nation and its one billion plus people to worry about all the time, even when the cloak and dagger games are going on behind their backs.

So, the clerk in the Embassy of US of A gathered this startling news of the Mallus being the `new’ Mafia of India, and pronto he conveyed this dangerous piece of information to the powers-that-be in Washington DC, as though the lone super power were in deep trouble in different parts of the world because of the Mallu gathering in New Delhi’s corridors of power. For a second, he must have thought of all those Mallus who have made their homes across the world, far away from GOC, but still remitting all their hard earned income back in Mallu land. Were they also part of the Mallu mafia?

Anyway, the clerk sent the dangerous dossier as classified information, little realizing that there was one Julian Assange on the prowl (no pun intended), seeking out communications from Embassies, especially those of the American variety. And when Wikileaks landed the classified information of such a threatening proportion, it was no time before the Mallus stood exposed before the whole world as The Mafia! In Washington and Wellington, Columbia and Canada, Uganda and UK, heads of state and government gathered to seek advice as to how to tackle this new menace and malaise, threatening law and order and peace and prosperity, more than even Gaddafi and Osama bin Laden. Hotlines worked overtime between DC and London, Canberra and Ottawa, Paris and Madrid. In Beijing and Moscow, quick searches were being done to ascertain who or what were the so-called Mallus!

And in distant Sicily, the Dons gathered in an emergency meeting, attended by all `families’ and their consigliore, to take stock of the situation. From New York and Chicago and Los Angeles and Las Vegas, the clan arrived even without invitation!

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s phones too worked overtime – not because of 2G or 3G, Raja or Radia – but the Mallu Mafia had invited the wrath of the world by its impetuosity. The good doctor had to make Mr Gilani and Mr Zardari wait to deliver the invitations for the Mohali match because the Mallus took priority now!

In Palermo, The Mafia waited, all ready for action, guns drawn.

In distant GOC, the Mallus slept, drunk as usual, waking up only to fight over Achuthanandan and Antony, UDF and LDF, only concurring on one thing – to call the next bandh the next week after the new government was sworn in. They didn’t know that the daggers were out and their lives were in danger – either because they were still suffering from the hangover or simply because they didn’t bother!

The Mafia has had a colourful history, not entirely as in blood red, of course. Thanks to Mario Puzo and Marlon Brando, Omerta and Cosa Nostra had worldwide recognition. Al Capone and many other leading lights gave further credence to the Mafiosi and their audacious adventures. From Palermo and Sicily, over time, the gang spread their wings across the North American continent, adding more stories of blood and gore. Attempts to control and eliminate them were resisted in the strongest manner, leaving behind some claimed and many unclaimed bodies. Eventually, everyone settled down, and the Mafia was grudgingly accepted as part of life, both in Italy and in several North American cities.

While The Mafia has a history which The Families look up to with pride, usurpers have mushroomed in different parts of the world, only to die a natural death. But English language has given new connotations to the Mafia: “A secret criminal organization operating mainly in the United States and Italy and engaged in illegal activities such as gambling, drug-dealing, protection, and prostitution”. It can also refer to a `tightly knit group of trusted associates, as of a political leader’. So, where do the Mallus fit into this scheme of things, is the question that arises in the Mallu in me! Killers and criminal gangs? Phew! Trusted associates of a political leader? Well, that is more like it, I guess! Or is it that I am trying to assuage myself that we Mallus are not criminals? Ha!

The town of Ottappalam in Palakkad District of Kerala is known to produce, with amazing regularity, civil servants who go on to hold senior positions in the bureaucracy in the country. I remember reading a couple of decades ago a piece titled “Ottappalam in the Eighties”. It was a very humorous feature on the senior civil servants from Ottappalam who were in their eighties, each one of them who had distinguished himself in his chosen profession. Incidentally, some of the top civil servants in the country today too come from Palakkad! I am not too sure anyone of them will fit the category of those engaged in illegal activities such as gambling, drug dealing, protection and prostitution! But yes, they can certainly be held responsible for being trusted associates of the nation’s political leadership, closely-knit or otherwise, for good or for bad!

Now that the American clerk has got it authenticated by North and South Block mandarins who are not part of the Mallus that they are indeed a Mafia, I guess it would be in order to name Palakkad as the Twin City of Palermo! Every native of Palakkad should take pride in the fact that she or he is part of a rich heritage that can be traced to Palermo!

Last heard, Priyadarshan was planning a blockbuster titled The Mallu Mafia; if the grape wines in the Capital’s power corridors are to be believed, Al Pacino is desperate for the role of the Mallu Godfather, what with his previous experience of having acted in the three films by Francis Ford Coppola. The problem is that a Sicilian style street fight is going on between the fans of Mohanlal and Mammootty, each trying to wrest the top slot from Priyan! Only The Godfather would know what is in store! Is he going to repeat, “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”?

Come to think of it: a Godfather in God’s Own Country!

All in all, I would say: Mallus as Mafia? Ain’t it a wonderful idea!

Technology woes

When we were young, it was ordinarily the police who were expected to catch the thief; well, they didn’t do it more often than not, is another story. But we always believed that the uniformed ones were the guardians of our lives and properties, and that no thief could run away from their watchful eyes.

Today, I asked son why he is wasting so much of time on Facebooking when, instead, he should be busy minding his Economics and History, Political Science and English, not to forget Psychology (not ours, of course!) Typical of youngsters these days, he says, `Accha, did you know that the Facebook helped in catching a thief?” I was taken by surprise, like how a thief would have caught me on a dark alley on a moonless night. I recovered fast, albeit breathing a bit hard, and asked, “But, where and how and when did it happen?” “Take it easy”, says son, “this was in New York”. I heave a sigh of relief. “Ok, ok, it happens only in the US of A”. And I am happy that the Pandurangs and their ilk will still keep their jobs, whether they catch thieves or not.

But a nagging doubt remains: “Who else will FB help catch?”

The day gives me another jolt later. Son’s mom says Twitter helped a father to trace out his missing daughter. Without blinking an eye, I ask, “Was it not in the US?” For a change, she is surprised at my question. “But how do you know?”, comes the counter question. I have my stock answer: “It happens only in Bush County.” I wistfully remember all those Bollywood and Mollywood movies where estranged sons and daughters and twins are reunited by more conventional means, and all those tears that flowed in musty cinema halls across the country when they all hugged and kissed one another, and posed for the group photograph, followed by “The End” and the Jana, gana, mana. Whatever will happen to all those simple emotions and feelings now??? Blame it on Twitter: I am sure Shashi Tharoor will gladly agree!

As I am recovering from the aftershocks of these technology-induced discoveries, son suddenly gives me another jolt: “Why don’t you buy a tablet?” “But I don’t have a headache yet; your mom hasn’t gone for shopping today, and your results will come only in June next year”, I manage to mumble. “Ha, Accha, I am talking about The Tablet, and not Crocin or Calpol”. “Oh, has John Grisham come out with another lawyerly book?”, I ask. “Your technology awareness is zero; I am talking about the new Tablet whose advertisement is coming everyday”, says son exasperatedly. I can only say, “I see, I see!”. “You better do something about getting the Tablet, instead of saying `I see, I see’,” chips in his mom. I must say, technology is overtaking me, with or without the Tablet!

And I mean it seriously, though I must admit I try to keep up with it. But what is new today is old by the time I get to feel the hang of it, is my problem! The latest contraption I am taming is a speech recognition software. The young thing which came to install the programme asked me to read out several paras several times over so that the software could recognize my accent and pronunciation, and even my vocabulary. Well, I am an Indian, so the software probably would take time, I thought, but `it’ turned out to be damn smart, coping with my Indianness! But I am a little wary, you know, giving commands like “Go to sleep”, “Listen to me” and “Stop listening to me”, to mention just a few funny ones. I fear what anyone standing outside my door will be thinking when he or she hears me uttering all these strange commands in the confines of my office room, and wondering what strange happenings must be going on inside! And I also fear for all stenographers: will they not lose their bread and butter if everyone masters such technology! But that is the way of things: I try to becalm myself. In the 1980s, when good old Rajiv Gandhi brought in the computers, most of India abused him left and right imputing nastily that he was pandering to the interests of the capitalists and the imperialists who would take away all our jobs. Twenty-five years down the lane, today, the capitalists and imperialists are complaining vociferously that Indians are taking away all their jobs because they are more technology savvy! Poor Rajiv!

As I am about to switch off my computer, it cautions me: “Monitor is going to sleep”. And I remember the Monitors from a different age when they were expected to ensure that no one slept in the class! Hmmm…

New Year Resolutions

It is once again that time of the year, when everyone loves to indulge in one’s favorite pastime: of making Resolutions with a steadfastness that can surprise even the mule, but unlike in the case of the mule, these Resolutions are broken soon after the thought firms up in the mind, unless someone chooses to write it down – in which case, the resolve does the vanishing trick even before the ink dries up. When I see New Year Resolutions do the magic act, I am reminded of the Manifestoes issued by political parties just before the elections are held to the Parliament or the Assemblies. You know it, I know it, and they also know it: the promise of one hundred and one things, ranging from roti, kapda aur makaan through assured supply of water and electricity to transparency and accountability of the government and its agencies, is like the road Romeo’s promise of marriage to get the Juliet he wants, only to forget her the moment the deed is done; the poor girl succumbs to temptation and falls an easy prey, only to find the one with the wandering eyes looking for fresh conquests. Likewise, much as we know that the lifetime of Resolutions is much less than that of even the fireflies’, we still rush in to make them, in the afterglow of the year bidding adieu, and for that we choose the most auspicious occasion - the dawn of a new year!

Here are some of the New Year Resolutions made at the midnight of 31^st December 2010-1^st January 2011. I reassure all that it is only my imagination (or the lack of it) that has gone awry at the thought of another year having bypassed me. My intentions are honourable and I trust that unlike Dr. Binayak Sen, I won’t be charged with sedition and attempt to spread disharmony in society, and sentenced to life imprisonment.

Dr. Manmohan Singh: I will continue to maintain silence: after all, it is said that silence is golden, especially if it involves evil. Even the Father of the Nation asked us to keep our eyes, mouth and ears closed to all evil. Following his advice, I have all those three vital organs in suspended animation. So, I can’t help it if evil happens behind my back or on my sides or even right in front of me.

Father of the Nation: I trust that at least Dr. Singh’s olfactory system is working, and that he can smell the stench around him. I hope and pray sincerely that in the year ahead, our Prime Minister won’t follow my words selectively, but keep his eyes and ears and mouth open, so that the Chinese or the Pakistanis will not walk into New Delhi uninvited. The Rajas and Others are here to stay forever, so there will be a big crowd around, which warrant that the good doctor should stay alert.

Andimuthu Raja: Did someone say Raja? I am the only Raja around here today. All the old Rajas are history now and I don’t intend to become a relic of the past. I am the Raja of all and sundry, and all I survey, and my right, or left, there is none to dispute. I am not going into solitude or vanaprastha, as some want: at least Kalaignar hasn’t so far asked me to go to Rameswaram or the Nilgiris. If someone says I am 2 G Raja, I take it as a compliment: I am too good a Raja, you see! Needless to add, my spectrum is very broad, like a broad spectrum anti-biotic: I can cure many diseases, especially the cancer called corruption.

D. Raja: He is an usurper who has brought a bad name to my name. I will work towards ensuring that he doesn’t become even a footnote in history.

Opposition Parties: “We want JPC, we want JPC”.

Ruling Coalition: “We want PAC, we want PAC”.

Common man: We want both of you out, pronto!

Muthuvel Karunanidhi: We want more to be done to restore family values; our culture has always taught us to treat the whole world as a family. But for me, that is very difficult, because I have three wives and many children. Charity, after all, begins at home: so I will have to first take care of the needs of my families and of `a’ Raja, before I start looking after the families of Dayanidhi Maran.

J. Jayalalithaa: Unlike my rivals who are only concerned about families, I am not, since I don’t have any family at all. Unless we root out this family culture, we will have many problems going by the name of Stalins and Kanimozhis and Azhagiris, not to forget Rajas and Ranis.

Sonia Gandhi: I am not a Rani, but like in India, in Italy too, The Family is very important. If we do not strengthen the family, how will we find the strength to resolve problems? That is why the wise say, union is strength. So, we have made a union between Italy and India and now we are trying for a good union for Rahul. My inner voice tells me that our Prime Minister will do everything properly to make things happen for Rahul to further strengthen The Family. We intend to work towards that in the New Year.

Rahul Gandhi: When I visited Kalavati, she told me that I should do something for the people. I took her very seriously and tried to do something for the people of Bihar. Sadly, I doubt if they took me as seriously as I took Kalavati. But I will continue to sleep in Harijan bastis in Madhya Pradesh and Uttar Pradesh and eat from roadside dhabas in Chhattisgarh and Jharkhand till Kalavati asks me to stop that, or till the next elections are held.

Laloo Prasad: What next elections? I told Sonia and Rahul to support Rabri, but they didn’t listen. And see what happened to them! But I will continue to work for restoring the glory of Bihar; after all, I only made Bihar what it was till that Nitish Kumar came with his New Bihar Resolutions.

Mulayam Singh Yadav: Like Karunanidhi before me, and Laloo Yadav after me, I am also a  family man; my son Akhilesh will continue to work towards family welfare, even if that Amar Singh and Jayaprada try to curry favour with the Bachchan family and the Sahara parivaar.

B.S. Yedyurappa: Me too! I will continue to believe in my family – and the Reddy brothers!

Mayawati: This world is all Maya and I am here to make the world safe for bahujan and elephants. As Manyavar Kanshiram advised me when he passed the mantle to me, I will continue to build statues, whatever the Supreme Court might say or stay.

A.K. Antony: I will set up a separate Command of the Indian Armed Forces with officers from all the three Services to defend all our lands: not against the Chinese or the Pakistanis, but against the real estate developers and the land mafia.

Nitin Gadkari: I love big, fat weddings, like the one I organized for my son. I would instruct all my party workers to hold such big, fat, Indian weddings to inspire foreigners to follow our culture and traditions. Or else, how will Farah Khan and such other Bollywood bigwigs get inspiration to spread our culture?

Sharad Pawar: I will continue to export onions, and when the price of onions in Indian markets hits the ceiling, I will import onions, so that the common man will not shed tears in the absence of onions.

Onions: Earlier, women used to shed tears when they peeled us, but now onwards we have resolved to make them cry just at our sight, thanks to the support extended to us by friendly neighbourhood dealers – sorry, leaders - like Sharad Pawar.

Suresh Kalmadi: We will bring the Asian Games and the Olympics to India; in fact, we are trying to host the African Games, Latin American Games, the Arctic and Antarctic Games and any other games people play anywhere in the universe. For us, the whole world is one, and we are willing to play ball. If someone says the ceiling is falling, I would suggest that they should take up the matter with my friend Lalit Bhanotji; he will show you how to plug the leak, and where to find the tapes.

Lalit Modi: My life is in danger and I need `Z’ category protection. Till then, I will continue to stay abroad and fight everyone who has pulled the rug from under my feet and queer my pitch. They are more dangerous than even Muttiah Muralitharan’s doosra or Dale Steyn’s bouncers! I know they couldn’t stand me signing cricket bats and autographs and hanging out with Preity Zinta and Shilpa Shetty. I agree that I was never very close to Katrina Kaif, but how can anyone be when one knows of Salman Khan and his muscles and what he did to the blackbuck in Rajasthan which is my home state? It is not cricket, I say. But I will not leave IPL alone, or for that matter Preity or Shilpa.

Jayaram Ramesh: I will leave New Delhi anytime for any Conference which starts with the alphabet C or E or T. We will stop all development, come what may. We need to save the environment, the climate and the tigers. The common man can wait. And let me add you, I also have the task of saving the world.

Arundhati Roy: I will not let anyone stop me from writing 36-page articles in Outlook. I don’t care whether Palaniappan Chidambaram reads them or not, as long as Vinod Mehta is the Editor.

Palaniappan Chidambaram: I never knew that Vinod Mehta has a dog by name Editor! But we don’t intend to stop Ms Roy’s prolific pieces in Outlook or elsewhere: as long as they are 36 pages long, we know no one would read her!

Nira Radia: We will work towards making lobbying a respectable word in the world of politics. I will continue my talks with leaders across the spectrum. We should not rest content with the second and third generations: we need to look at the generations to come. Tapes or no tapes, leakages or no leakages, we have to press forward with lobbying: otherwise, 2G and 3G, Raja and praja, will not respect us. They will simply say, `OK, Tata, bye, bye’!

Barkha Dutt: Like Vir Sanghvi, I was only trying to save democracy by talking to Nira Radia. And I will continue to try to save democracy by organizing Big Fights on my favourite channel by inviting my favourite big guns.

Shekhar Gupta: I am no big gun, in spite of what Barkha Dutt may say or do. But if Barkha continues to talk, I too will continue to walk the talk on my favorite channel.

CBI: `Closure’ of cases would be our mantra in the year ahead. We will first open all pending cases, and close thereafter, especially those involving leaders of all political parties, particularly those of the ruling party, and their relatives, foreign associates, etc. Opposition parties will also get their due share of closures, so that they need not start shouting “We want JPC, we want JPC”.

Rakhi Sawant: I am now the favorite of all channels and I intend to remain there, whatever Abhishek Awasthi or anyone else might impute. And I don’t intend to get married on reality shows: see what happened to that Mahajan boy!

Rediff.com: We are determined to make you follow us all around the country, more particularly the metropolitan cities. For more information, see our Home Page every day, twice, or preferably thrice, and click on “Follow” with its `revealing’ pictures: it is special to Rediff.com. But unlike the Hutch which left its pug midway through, we will not leave you, rather we will make you follow us everywhere, till you are certified to be a confirmed `D’ Grade voyeur by our in-house expert.

Me: I am determined to continue to be `me’, warts and all, and I will try to remain at iLand! You can follow me at your own risk!

Standing alone…

When all the applause had died down,

When all the adjectives had run out,

When all the euphoria had subsided,

He was still standing there, alone, the little maestro,

Taller than the giants of the past and the present,

None to conquer the peaks he had scaled,

Serene, tranquil, composed,

His next challenge, excelling his own feats…

Salaam Sachin!

Miscellany

Amma tells us this story, laughing even today, though the incident took place so many decades ago. Those days, it was like open house: anyone could walk into the kitchen side of our compound for a meal. So, one day, Amma found this small kid at lunch time outside the kitchen door, and he got a hearty meal. As he was leaving, Amma, who had not seen the boy before in our house, asked him who he was. In all his innocence, he said: “I am the son of Chellappan Pillai who has four wives!”

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Son feels that Lord Krishna was not very fair towards the Kauravas. I ask him why. He is of the considered opinion that the Lord turned a blind eye towards the `trickery’ of the Pandavas and even abetted some of them; moreover, he is of the view that the Lord certainly acted in an `adharmic’ way when he not so very discretely hinted to Bhima how to finish off Duryodhana at lake Dwaipayana. “That is not cricket,” is his assessment. I assure him that the gentleman’s game of cricket was hardly in action at Kurukshetra and that Krishna did what he did only to uphold the reign of truth and justice. Son complains, “Accha, I thought you always sided with the underdog, and here you are, siding with God, only to be on His right side!”

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The cell phone rings, soon after Sunday lunch is over and I am getting ready for a siesta. It is a young thing from a foreign bank offering a loan that she promises I can put to good use to buy all those things which I need in the house! Son’s mom is keen to know how the bank girl knows that we don’t have those very things at home. While pleading ignorance and innocence both to this loaded and highly inflammatory question, I tell the caller I don’t need a loan at the moment. I thought that `at the moment’ will bring some reprieve, but she is not amused: she wants to be briefed as to why I don’t need a loan at the moment, as if I must be mortgaged to her bank, a foreign one at that! My patriotic cells are tickled, but son’s mom has second thoughts and feels it is a wonderful idea to buy all those things which are apparently missing in the house, even if no one missed them till the bank call came. And son suggests helpfully: “Don’t put her off like that – you might need to take an educational loan for my sake very soon”. I say, I agree: “Even to pay your quarterly tuition fees in school, I have to beg and borrow”!

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It is the latest Zen Estilo ad, “Proposal ke baad”, featuring a male and female robot. As the Estilo trips a can of paint, red spreads, the girl smiles and the guy is smitten forever. The car comes to a stop, and the tyre is bloody red. I wince, and think aloud: ”Who the bloody hell conceived this ad! Is it about paint or car or tyre?” Son asks, “What’s the problem?” “It is horrible to show red on the road, more so on the car tyre. It is morbid, to say the least”, I clarify. Son winks, “Accha, red is the colour of love, even if it is on a car tyre”. His mom rubs salt into the wound, “True, but he wouldn’t understand!”

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I have seen this small girl at the traffic light every time I cross the junction. She will be selling a range of products which varies from week to week. She wears bright clothes and has a brighter smile and sparkling eyes. Whenever I reach the intersection, I look out for her, and she will be somewhere around, running from car to car with her engaging smile, beseeching the occupants to buy a book or a rose or a hand towel, as the case may be. After a few months, last week, I happened to stop at the junction when the red light came on. She was there, as usual: the sparkle was still there, but the innocence had gone missing…

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Winter is here and I take out the woolens from the bed box. Since there are quite a few old clothes which are no more in use, I decide to give them away. When I stop the car at the red light, I see this small boy selling balloons and call him over. I give the kid, all of seven years may be, a bag full of old clothes. The light changes to green, and I shift gears. The little one runs after my car with a big smile and gives me a balloon: “Uncleji, yeh leh lo”! My day is made!

Women to the fore!

The Commonwealth Games are finally over, more or less successfully, in spite of the Kalmadis and the Bhanots, the simians and the snakes, and such other trouble-makers. Some reputations were sullied, some others enhanced. A washing machine got thrown down a few floors; some coins left for safe custody disappeared. Nonetheless, The Games ended peacefully, much to the chagrin of some who, it was felt, wanted otherwise. Some Prime Ministers, lesser Ministers, assorted athletes and others who prophesied security disasters thought it prudent to be silent, when The Games came to a close without any mishap whatsoever. India heaved a collective sigh of relief, would rather be an understatement.

But what is it that stands out at the end of the day? To me, it is the wonderfully remarkable show of the Indian Women was the high point of The Games! Let me hasten to add that it is not that I am not giving any credit to the many men who won laurels at Delhi; all of them deserve plaudits – the wrestlers and the boxers, the archers and the shooters, the lone gymnast who climbed the podium, the athletes, and several other sportspersons who brought glory to their games. Wasn’t it an exhilarating sight when Renjith Maheswari worked up the crowd at the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium to hop, step and jump to a new Indian record and a bronze, something which we have never seen an Indian athlete do!

But, what brought great cheer to all sports aficionados was the spectacular show by our women in different disciplines: some names were familiar, most were not; in fact, some disciplines where they won medals brought a smile to one’s face!

While Renubala Chanu in Wrestling, Krishna Poonia, Seema Antil and Harwant Kaur in Discus, Jwala Gutta and Saina Nehwal in Badminton, and Sania Mirza in Tennis are well known names, there were many others who were lesser known or not finding place in the first page of newspapers. We expected medals from the known ones, and they delivered; but what brought joy, and even tears to our eyes, was the new brigade which showed tremendous tenacity and compelling competitiveness to emerge winners.

Anisa Sayyed, Rahi Sarnobat, Alka Tomar, Geeta Singh, Deepika Kumari, Dola Banerjee, Laishram Bomabyala Devi, Heena Sidhu, Annu Raj Singh, Soniya Ngangbam, Tejaswini Sawant, and Lajja Kumari aren’t househeold names – yet; so also Nirmala Devi, Babita Kumari, Mouma Das, Paolomi Ghatak, Shammi Kumaresan, Prajusha Maliakkal, Bheighyabati Chanu, Jhano Hansdah, Suman Kundu, et al. Only avid sports watchers had heard of Kavita Raut, Suma Shirur, Laishram Monika Devi, Rushmi Chakravarthi, Meena Kumari, Sathi Geetha, Srabani Nanda, Priya PK and Jyothi Manjunath. But for all their relative obscurity, each one of them gave their best to secure medals of varying hues for the nation when it mattered the most.

Read through the names once again, and one can see they have a pan-Indian origin which, in itself, holds much promise for Indian sports. They come from all corners of India, and most are not city-born and brought-up ones. Several of them belong to states which have an adverse sex ratio. They must have toiled day in and out, trudged many miles, skipped most meals, to train and practise. They would have had to surmount many obstacles in their path to realize their potential – and their goals. And with what elan they accomplished them is what makes their achievements special - very, very, special.

It was one of those unforgettable sights to watch three Indian women stand to attention when the National Anthem was sung, and the tricolor went up the pole. And the gold medalist Krishna Poonia said it all when she mentioned that her grandmother was unhappy when a baby girl was born in the family. Little would the grandmom have visualized that one day the baby girl would challenge the world and emerge on top, bringing glory to the family – and the nation! Those who saw the three Discus winners at the podium also must have noticed that Indian women have finally arrived at the world stage: they stood equal in height and physique to their counterparts from other countries, if not taller and better built.

Look back at the way Jwala Gutta and Ashwini Ponnappa fought on gamely, point after point, match after match, to win the gold against higher rated opponents. They egged each other on, of course, egged on by a full capacity stadium. They never gave up, and fought back from seemingly irretrievable situations. And the smiles and the tears at the victory stand were a vindication of their will to win, and to excel under trying circumstances.

And Saina Nehwal showed us those rare qualities of a winner yet again: from the brink of defeat, she clawed her way back to wrest the Gold, and put India in second place ahead of England in the overall medals’ tally. It was most befitting that it was with Saina’s Gold that India overtook Britain, a feat made possible by several other women athletes who graced The Games.

None showed the mettle of Indian athletes, men or women, more than the quartet that fetched the Gold in the 4X400 Relay. It was, to say the least, most inspiring to see those four young women outpace much fancied runners from Australia, England and Canada. It was sheer joy to see them hold off their rivals and inch their way forward to take lead – and more importantly cling on to that lead tenaciously and finally cross the ribbon fairly comfortably! The whole stadium and those of us who watched it on television erupted in wild applause, celebrating these four women who did the nation proud. In no time, Manjeet Kaur, Sini Jose, Ashwini Akkunji and Mandeep Kaur had become the face of The Games.

What was equally impressive was the way the 65,000 people in the stands roared their support to the girls as they ran the stretch: no other Indian sportsperson would have received such all-round cheers unless one went by the name of Sachin Tendulkar, taking that quick single to complete yet another century…

All in all, it has been a remarkable fortnight for Indian sports, in particular for our women sportspersons. Let us hope that this is just the beginning: and that the sportswomen of India will lead us to greater glory in the days ahead – and that no grandmother will ever regret if a girl child is born into the family.

Three Cheers to Indian Women!

Capital Musings

It’s a beautiful day…

After weeks of an extended monsoon, the sun has come out from behind the clouds. At 28 degree Celsius, it is a warm day which, by evening, should turn cool and breezy.

I look out the window, and see the lush green carpet, thanks to the plentiful rains. The plants, shrubs and trees look fresh, clean and invigorated. The flower beds are a riot of colours; the birds are joyfully chirping and making merry. I feel nice – and peaceful.

The Games begin on Sunday. But before that, later today, we will know of the Ayodhya decision: and I feel wary.

After sixty years of protracted litigation and many, many adjournments, the court is going to decide on the title suit. I am left wondering whether matters of faith can be decided by courts of law. Are we not asking too much of judges, who are as much human as every one of us? It is comforting that all political parties and various religious organizations have appealed to the people to respect the court’s decision and to maintain peace and amity. I am also encouraged by the Union Home Minister’s assertion that India has moved forward since that fateful day in 1992 when the Babri Masjid was brought down.

Come Sunday, and the Commonwealth games will be declared open. For now, Delhi is the most happening city. The Kalmadis and the Bhanots notwithstanding, the Games will go through successfully, I want to believe…

Of course, we have to contend with caustic comments and snide remarks by assorted leaders from around the Commonwealth, not to forget athletes from the so-called developed and even some developing countries. Think of it, till last week, many Indians didn’t even know where these countries were located! But our friends Kalmadi and Bhanot ensured that we brushed up on our geography! But they couldn’t brush aside the shame that was brought on the nation.

So, the Australian Prime Minister and several others have gone ballistic. M/s Hooper and Fennel are having a field day, what with the Indian newshounds willing to get any byte from them! The BBC too is not lagging behind, bringing to your drawing room close-ups of filthy toilets, leaking ceilings, dirty drains and hissing cobras! A few days ago, at Canberra, the Prime Minister warned of imminent terrorist strikes in Delhi. Yesterday, she injected a new element: the Ayodhya verdict and its likely aftermath. But she conveniently forgot to issue an advisory against travelling to the UK, France and several European countries where they have just declared heightened security in the wake of reliable information on possible terrorist strikes. Thankfully, Madame Prime Minister has assured a billion Indians that her statements are not intended to hurt their sentiments. Ricky Ponting and Michael Clerk must be wondering what the heck is going on behind their backs while they cool their heels in Mohali!

It’s a beautiful day, and suddenly I am at unease. When people are willing to embrace death in the name of faith, and when they are more than willing to kill fellow beings, again taking umbrage under religion, how much can the state do to ensure the safety and security of the citizens? It goes without saying that the miscreants and anti-national elements would crave to strike terror at this juncture, when the whole world is watching India trying to put up a decent show of the biggest sporting event it has held, yet…

I wish and hope sanity (not to forget sanitation) prevails in the days ahead…

The `drunk’ state!

I happened to travel by road from Kochi to Kollam on Thiru Onam day. Every few kilometers, I found these long serpentine queues in front of road side shops whereas Onam being a holiday, all market places should have been closed. Then I noticed that the queues are outside the state beverages corporation outlets! Ha! Even the government knows when to declare a dry day, and when not to!

The Mallus have a tryst with the bottle, come rain or shine. Most Indian films will show only the villain as a drinker or a drunkard; the hero drinks only when he is spurned by the heroine or in such like dire situations. But not in Mallu films! Here, everyone drinks, the hero and his sidekicks included. And he doesn’t wait for the heroine to turn him down; he drinks at the slightest provocation - or even without that! The villain may have many vices, but drinking certainly cannot be counted among the major ones, considering everyone else is draining off bottles as if the world were to end tomorrow!

The joke is that every Mallu is desperately waiting for the next bandh or hartal to happen: not just the Mallu but the government too, and the chicken market as well! The day before the bandh, the beverages corporation outlets will have roaring sales, fattening the government coffers. The chicken market will witness unprecedented sales. The whole state is ready to enjoy another bandh day! If there is a cricket match, it is carnival time! No wonder then that the state has at least three bandhs every month. Then, of course, there is no shortage of festivals which also need to be `celebrated’ appropriately.

I understand that Kerala has dry days on the first of every month to coincide with the salary day. But the intelligent Mallu takes care of the impending dry day by stocking up well in advance.

Every year, we hear of stories of how Mallus consume more liquor per capita than their counterparts in other states. I saw this cartoon which shows two drunkards celebrating because Kerala had regained this much coveted `honour’ which, for a short while, had been wrested by Punjab!

This year, Onam celebrations saw all previous sales records broken by the beverages corporation with the revenue during the Onam week, ending Thiru Onam day, shooting up by Rs.22 crore as compared to last year. ‘This year the revenue was Rs.176.42 crore and last year it was Rs.154.39 crore,’ the corporation spokesman beamed!

According to statistics released by the corporation, southern Kerala town of Karunagappally defeated Chalakkudi town in northern Kerala in the number of cases sold! Naturally, this is cause for much celebration. I am `honoured’, because Karunagappally is just five kms. away from my house – and I had witnessed with my own eyes the enthusiasm of the buyers outside the beverages outlet, all keyed up to top the chart!

I am mighty pleased to share with you several interesting facts and figures released by a proud beverages corporation spokesman. According to a scientific study, the most preferred drinks of the Mallus are Brandy and Rum. Together, they account for 94% of the sales; here, I, a diehard Whiskey man and fan, feel thoroughly let down by my compatriots. While the Mallu seems to love his Rum punch with sales touching 55%, Brandy comes a close second at 40%, followed by Vodka at 4%, with gin, whiskey and wine accounting for the rest of the sales. I am naturally delighted that we have such interesting sales records, though my preferred Whiskey doesn’t figure high on the list!

The enterprising corporation officials have also conducted a study to figure out comparative sales during the Left Front government and the previous Congress-led government. The beleaguered Prakash Karat would be immensely happy to read that during its 52-month rule, `08.20 lakh cases of liquor were sold as compared to the 513 lakh cases sold during the previous Congress-led government’s tenure from 2001-06’! The corporation gained Rs.19,075 crore through sale of liquor during this period. What is of the utmost significance is that the `total cumulative sales turnover of the KSBC since inception in 1984 till 2006 was Rs.18,100 crore’. Giving a new twist to the sale of liquor, the official pointed out that in terms of revenue contributed to the state exchequer by way of taxes, `the corporation contributed Rs.14,922 crore in the 52 months of the Left rule as compared to the Rs.13,722 crore contributed in the 22 years from 1984 to 2006’! Turning the knife in, the official also drew attention to the fact that in comparison, the `sales turnover during the previous Congress-led government (2001-06) was Rs.10,570 crore’. Needless to say, this reflects poorly on the Congress and its cohorts!

To drive the point home further, the corporation wizard stressed that the `rising revenue figure should not be linked to rising prices because in the past five years, the price of liquor went up once, around 3-6 percent, in the fiscal 2009-10.’!

Certainly, these statistics should warm the prospects of Prakash Karat and his party! Of course, for every Mallu, this certainly calls for celebration of a high order! Incidentally, celebrations are round the corner, with a bandh lined up for 7^th September, demanding food security!

But what set me writing this post is an interesting news item which appeared in the Malayala Manorama today. According to the story, the attendants, including three women, in the medical college mortuary in Thrissur, had the scare of their lives on Thiru Onam night!

It so happened that this gentleman was in Kochi in a celebratory mood. By nightfall, he took a train leaving for Mancheri. When the train reached Thrissur, our friend, who already had celebrated quite a bit, mistook it for Tirur, and got down there. For him, the celebrations had only just about begun. He took an auto, and persuaded the friendly driver to share a bottle. The auto driver was too glad to oblige. Later in the night, our gentleman decided to sleep at a comfortable place: and the place he chose was the medical college mortuary, probably because he found several others too `sleeping’ there!

The trouble started when a body came to be deposited in the mortuary. The attendants and the body’s family members walked in and heard our friend making funny sounds; they stood transfixed. Hearing the commotion, our friend woke up and started wobbling his way to the door: the attendants and the body’s relatives ran for their lives!

When finally order was restored, it turned out that it was the auto guy who did the mischief. Our friend wanted to sleep for sometime before he took the next train to Tirur. The autowallah assured that he would drop him at the right place where he could sleep comfortably: and he deposited him right in front of the mortuary. The wag says that the attendants too who were in a celebratory mood had left the door to the morgue open, and our friend found a suitable resting place along with several others who were already sleeping their eternal sleep!

Whoever says Mallus don’t have a sense of humour!

Anyway, it is time for celebration, what with my town recording the highest sales during Onam season, beating Punjab to second position in per capita consumption, pouring money into the state exchequer, and helping the Marxist government defeat the previous Congress regime in selling more liquor cases! Adieu to you!