It’s 2.30 AM in the morning and I woke up just to see myself
without sleep, seeing dream getting shattered and my vision getting blurred.
Mind kept thinking in this wading darkness and the ultimate privacy that “why
my heart blood today?”

I kept holding my face again n again consoling …my heart’s
pain asking my mind to divert it….trying to hold myself within my arms…there is
a fear which freaks me out…the thought of chasing a unimaginable, impossible
dream which you feel you are at the almost crest to crack it..but to see to
return empty handed….Moist filling in my eyes….as the stronger brain asking to
give up to the weaker heart…I start chasing my dreams within the ultimate
darkness holding a small candle named hope…I covered my journey all through
this way ..Many interruptions…rejections…trying to break down my path…but still
this heart keeps wooing me to go…Keep up rise….mind kept getting
stronger…Show the path for  me ..”Thou
one shall obey it for one’s good”

I see my destiny at the crest of a mountain…I ran to it…I
ran to it…I ran to it…I thought am there….

There it is when my heart started seeing cracks within
it….It’s the steep pain which cuts you across…No knife can stay witness to it
only the inner sound of it which keeps getting to the brain “Help Me”, “Help
Me”…I see a real dark night around me..Just a slightest honk could break in to
burst one’s dream…and the clock’s ticking tik tik tik…..

For me a day where I have to show the pain that it cannot
bear to the poor little thing with in me…go ahead hurt it….for it shall not
continue for always…there comes the day where ppl emote a strange smile from
within heart….acknowledge it….For the day u will have no pain left within you …

I feel the wetness right within….when I had my hands on it…I
could see the stain on the hand and kept staring at it…

At the end of the day when all work is done and u’r mind is left out in a sheer space where u find nothing – no thoughts, no happiness, no plan, no future…but just a blank line going in beep beep… just like a instrument which shows out heart rates in terms of waves and line, But u want to go home take rest.

But some where deep in the heart u always think that to talk to loved ones, liked ones, or at least the ones with whom you are comfortable with…just like that to spark some happiness in your mind….have a smileJ, think of next thing to do, To go to bed happy and make the next day joyful …all these thoughts would come across with just the thought of a loved one…well, I guess every human craves for some care at the end of the day…and I’m no different to it….But many a times I found my self just craving craving craving..there is no response, no delight, no talk

Why do I choose the way I do?? And why do I end up all the way into same thing again and again?? What makes u do this way?? Don’t you learn from mistakes?? Still give away to have this feeling which burns your heart…eats your brain…kills yourself??

All this thoughts leave me no where but still these thoughts get back to you haunting, cursing…I keep writing to keep distracted, to express, to share and there are lots of things L

But one thought, one hope….all this is going to end soon…and I will embrace a future which should keep me going…which helps me get wat I want to..which lets me express my self..which provides me something secure…I keep revisiting this, Still in a dilemma but in a hope. Finally some end appears where I should park my self and stay and live for the rest of life… But I wish I should get wat I look for..

Hmmm…I wanted to write some thing for long now…now I got
the time to write down some of my thoughts running in my mind..

Well…I wanted to write down abt the observations which I made after meeting ppl and finding out their b’days..It’s intereting…I get to know the ppl I can gel well with and also I can be far away them

Let me list them out and see if it makes any sense. I have probably observed with their Month of birth and some times the characters with I talk might overlap with the other months mostly in the case where ones bday will fall on the end of the month, characters might overlap with the next month
in that case…

Jan: These are really cool ppl…Calm…talkative if needed,very amicable. They usually will not get hurt so easily and can get mould themselves to any situation easily

Feb: Oh boy…God had made these creatures to be the rulers I believe. These ppl have most leadership qualities. These ppl can be funny,serious and yes making enemies these ppl would cost I would say. And they are quite political as well and have quite good argumenting capabilities..so beware of them…they are very friendly if you be so to them and can help you out to
come out of situations…

Mar: Well…these ppl are good..but some how I believe they lack a bit of confidence..They generally are neither witty nor serious…most of the time I find them thinking themselves comparing to others and situations

Apr: haha..these ppl are quite fun loving…and are very cool to hangout with..But the strange thing is these ppl after some time would take some time out for themselves when every body is searching for u..Well to say..I would suggest that if u wanna go shopping go hangout with them, they can pick u
the right ones, if not they make the experience quite pleasant.

May: Yet to find out on this

June: I got to write abt my self in here, I will try to be honest as much as I can. I observed that there are two sections in june first half of june and the second half of june.

First half: I should say these ppl are the most travel lovers I met. But they are the most unstable ones with their words..watch out them when they give u a word..But they are quite humorous..witty and party animals..If you have a party and want to it to be hit..these are one of them to
be invited

Second half: ooo this is where I belong to, Very sensitive, Not at all humorous, but good at wat they do if they understand. They are quite soft spoken and gel up with very few. Keep them away from parties coz they are not like to be the ones who can be the show stoppers in party. They can be very good at the team activities. One has to make sure talk to them softly, then they can be good and would be willing to help to any level. Try this thing out if u can

July: haaa..they love themselves very much as none other do. They want every thing to be in grand style. Food, Clothes, life..etc list is big. They are food lovers. If u wanna check out any eataries arnd ur place these ppl can help you out coz they love to try it all J.And yes not to mention they have good dressing sense and these ppl’s wardrobe has almost all brands u can find out. These ppl leave a mark when u meet them first. Quite good at grasping things. But some how wat ever situation is they want the same grandstyle in every thing that’s wat makes them a bit uncool. But good to be with
and quite witty.

Aug: hahahaha,I came to know abt them very recently but every thingz good. They are the most humorous ones I have met. They can bring laughter to any situation with their humor. And are quite confident. They are also food lovers. But they are a bit lazy with their things. These ppl can be
show stoppers in a party..hurry up invite them

Sep: hmm..trying to know them…Very different from all the others, Quite confident and witty. But I still need to know them

Oct: Well…these ppl are most confident ones, but quite calm and observe every thing around them. And I believe they never forget the things so easily. These ppl have very good argument capability. Beware when u try to argue with them they are not the ones usually u want to argue with.

Nov: oooo..these ppl are good, but one quality which these ppl have is that they never listen to any one while it comes to do some thing. They just follow themselves and do the things which comes to mind. Wat ever ppl arnd them suggest even if it is good or bad they seem to be listening but
finally does the things which comes to their mind. They have friendly nature and gel up well with any ppl. They can be quite good in party hangouts. Haa..I forgot..these ppl will ask many questions..on wat ever topic it is..they have lots of doubts going in their minds.

Dec: Very cool ones I have seen..they are the show stoppers at any party and bring it to live..very talkative, imaginative and have good sense of humor. I can say they are complete extroverts.

If u are throwing a party and want it to bring it live theninvite these one’s Feb, Aug, Dec, Nov that party might rock

But if u want to share lots of things and want quite general talk then go with june, july, jan they are good listeners

For shopping? Choose Apr, very good at impressing ppl at first go

I kept all my thoughts in here. No offense but this is just my observation, It may be wrong as well.