nocomplains's blog

I sit beside you, Mom
On death?s doorstep you lay
                          I set my head upon your wrist
                         As I bow my head to pray

The world to me shut off
The silence here is thick
                         Alone just you and I
                         And your watch?s rhythmic tick

I block out all my pain
And loss I?m sure to feel
                        I concentrate now deeply
                        On the tick your watch reveals

I sit here now for days
And hear the rhythmic sound
                               I contemplate you being gone
                             The thought now seems profound

The time for you is near
To enter Heaven?s Gate
                             I?ll stay here by your side
                            Until your journey is complete

It?s months now since you?ve passed
My wounds are healing slow
                                I want so much to hear your voice
                               To see your smile?s glow

I lay my head upon my wrist
When my feelings are too strong
                                  I hear your watch?s rhythmic tick
                               And know  you?re never gone

tumhe.n udaas saa paataa huu.N mai.n kaa_ii din se 
naa jaane kaun se sadame uThaa rahii ho tum 
vo shoKhiyaa.N, vo tabassum, vo kah_kahe na rahe 
har ek chiiz ko hasrat se dekhatii ho tum 
chhupaa chhupaa ke Khamoshii me.n apanii bechainii 
Khud apane raaz kii taashiir ban gaii ho tum 

merii ummiid agar miT gaii to miTane do 
ummiid kyaa hai bas ek paas-o-pesh hai kuchh bhii nahii.n 
merii hayaat kii Gam_Giii.nio.n kaa Gam na karo 
Gam hayaat-e-Gam yak naqs hai kuchh bhii nahii.n 
tum apane husn kii raanaaiio.n par raham karo 
vafaa fareb tul havas hai kuchh bhii nahii.n 

mujhe tumhaare taGaaful se kyuu.n shikaayat ho 
merii fanaa meer ehasaas kaa taqaazaa hai 
main jaanataa huu.N ke duniyaa kaa Khauf hai tum ko 
mujhe Khabar hai ye duniyaa ajiib duniyaa hai 
yahaa.N hayaat ke parde me.n maut chalatii hai 
shikast saaz kii aawaaz me.n ruu naGmaa hai 

mujhe tumhaarii judaaii kaa koii ra.nj nahii.n 
mere Khayaal kii duniyaa me.n mere paas ho tum 
ye tum ne Thiik kaha hai tumhe.n milaa na karuu.N 
magar mujhe bataa do ki kyuu.N udaas ho tum 
hafaa na ho merii jurrat-e-taKhtab par 
tumhe.n Khabar hai merii zi.ndagii kii aas ho tum 

meraa to kuchh bhii nahii.n hai mai.n ro ke jii luu.Ngaa 
magar Khudaa ke liye tum asiir-e-Gam na raho 
huaa hii kyaa jo zamaane ne tum ko chhiin liyaa 
yahaa.N par kaun huaa hai kisii kaa socho to 
mujhe qasam hai merii dukh bharii jawaanii kii 
mai.n Khush huu.N merii mohabbat ke phuul Thukaraa do 

mai.n apanii ruuh kii har ek Khushii miTaa luu.Ngaa 
magar tumhaarii masarrat miTaa nahii.n sakataa 
mai.n Khuud ko maut ke haatho.n me.n sau.Np sakataa huu.N 
magar ye bar-e-musaaib uThaa nahii.n sakataa 
tumhaare Gam ke sivaa aur bhii to Gam hai.n mujhe 
nijaat jin se mai.n ek lahaza paa nahii.n sakataa 

ye uu.Nche uu.Nche makaano.n kii deva.Diiyo.n ke tale 
har kaam pe bhuuke bhikaariiyo.n kii sadaa 
har ek ghar me.n aflaas aur bhuuk kaa shor 
har ek simt ye insaaniyat kii aah-o-bukaa 
ye karaKhaano.n me.n lohe kaa shor-o-gul jis me.n 
hai dafn laakho.n Gariibo.n kii ruuh kaa naGmaa 

ye sharaho.n pe ra.ngiin saa.Diio.n kii jhalak 
ye jho.Npa.Diyo.n me.n Gariibo.n ke be-kafan laashe.n 
ye maal road pe karo.n kii rail pail kaa shor 
ye paTariyo.n pe Gariibo.n ke zard_ruu bachtche 
galii galii me.n bikate hue javaa.N chehare 
hasiin aa.Nkho.n me.n afsurdagii sii chhaii huii 

ye jang aur ye mere vatan ke shoKh javaa.N 
khariidii jaatii hai.n uThatii javaaniyaa.N jinakii 
ye baat baat pe kanuun aur zabte kii giraft 
ye ziisq ye Gulaamii ye daur-e-majabuurii 
ye Gam hai.n bahot merii zi.ndagii miTaane ko 
udaas rah ke mere dil ko aur ranj na do 

                                             beautiful lines by sahir ludhianvi

                                                        ANJALI

dayaar-e-Gair me.n kaise tujhe sadaa dete

dayaar-e-Gair me.n kaise tujhe sadaa dete 
tuu mil bhii jaataa to tujhe ga.Nvaa dete 

[dayaar-e-Gair=alien/unknown place; ga.Nvaa denaa=to lose] 

tumhii.n ne ham ko sunaayaa na apanaa dukh varanaa 
duaa vo karate ke ham aasamaan hilaa dete 

hame.n ye zom rahaa ab ke vo pukaare.nge 
unhe.n ye zid thii ke har baar ham sadaa dete 

[zom=illusion] 

vo teraa Gam thaa ke taasiir mere lahaje kii 
ke jis ko haal sunaate use rulaa dete 

[taasiir=effect; lahajaa=style] 

tumhe.n bhulaanaa hii avval to dastaaras me.n nahii.n 
jo iKhtiyaar bhii hotaa to kyaa bhulaa dete 

[avval=firstly; dastaaras=within reach; iKhtiyaar=control] 

tumhaarii yaad ne ko_ii javaab hii na diyaa 
mere Khayaal ke aa.Nsuu rahe sadaa dete 

sama’to.n ko mai.n taa-umr kosataa Syed
vo kuchh na kahate magar ho.nTh to hilaa dete 

[sama'to.n=hearing power; taa-umr=life long; kosanaa=blame] 

umr jalvo.n me.n basar ho ye zaruurii to nahii.n
har shab-e-Gam kii sahar ho ye zaruurii to nahii.n

chashm-e-saaqii se piyo yaa lab-e-saaGar se piyo
beKhudii aaTho.n pahar ho ye zaruurii to nahii.n

nii.nd to dard ke bistar pe bhii aa sakatii hai
unakii aagosh me.n sar ho ye zaruurii to nahii.n

sheKh karataa to hai masjid me.n Khudaa ko sajade
usake sajado.n me.n asar ho ye zaruurii to nahii.n

sab kii nazaro.n me.n ho saaqii ye zaruurii hai magar
sab pe saakii kii nazar ho ye zaruurii to nahii.n 
                                                    

                                                one have to live life as it as

                                                                   anjali         

haath uThe hai.n magar lab pe duaa ko_ii nahii.n

haath uThe hai.n magar lab pe duaa ko_ii nahii.n
kii ibaadat bhii vo jis kii jazaa ko_ii nahii.n

[duaa = prayer; jazaa = reward]

ye bhii vaqt aanaa thaa ab to gosh har aavaaz hai
aur mere barbaad-e-dil me.n sadaa ko_ii nahii.n

aa ke ab tasliim kar le.n tuu nahii.n to main sahii
kaun maanegaa ke ham me.n bevafaa ko_ii nahii.n

vaqt ne vo Khaak u.Daa_ii hai ke dil ke dasht se
qaafile guzare hai.n phir bhii naqsh-e-paa ko_ii nahii.n

[dasht = desert/wildnerness; qaafile = caravans]
[naqsh-e-paa = footprints]

Khud ko yuu.N mahasuur kar baiThaa huu.N apanii zaat me.n
manzile.n chaaro.n taraf hai raastaa ko_ii nahii.n

[mahasuur = surrounded; zaat = self/one's personality]

kaise raasto.n se chale aur kis jagah pahu.Nche ‘Faraz’
yaa hujuum-e-dostaa.N thaa saath yaa ko_ii nahii.n

[hujuum = crowd]

 i always wish happiness for him .next moment when 

i think he is happy without me i feel sad. another moment 

i think how selfish i am and the thoughts carry on and on……..and so on………

                                                                          ANJALI                             

was thinking to do somthing away from routine .hence gone through the site urdu poetry.

wnted to share few lines i read there……………….

ab ke ham bichha.De to shaayad kabhii Khvaabo.n me.n mile.n
jis tarah suukhe hue phuul kitaabo.n me.n mile.n

Dhuu.NDh uja.De hue logo.n me.n vafaa ke motii
ye Khazaane tujhe mumkin hai Kharaabo.n me.n mile.n

[uja.De=desolated, ruined; Kharaab=bad]

tuu Khudaa hai na meraa ishq farishto.n jaisaa
dono.n insaa.N hai.n to kyo.n itane hijaabo.n me.n mile.n

[hijaab - veil, here it means barrier]

Gam-e-duniyaa bhii Gam-e-yaar me.n shaamil kar lo
nashaa ba.Dataa hai sharabe.n jo sharaabo.n me.n mile.n

aaj ham daar pe khe.nche gaye jin baato.n par
kyaa ajab kal vo zamaane ko nisaabo.n me.n mile.n

ab na vo mai.n huu.N na tu hai na vo maazii hai `Faraaz’,
jaise do shaKhs tamannaa ke saraabo.n me.m mile.n

[maazii=past; saraab - illusion, mirage]

                                                                           hope u liked it

                                                                                      ANJALI

Finaly the  day came when i was watching him walking away from my world. i  am still not very sure about  whether  that was the ever most sad moment of my life or each moment after that is more painful .but the strange most part of all is that neither i want to get him back nor i want to try to forget  .the only thing  about which i am suer is that i respect him more than how much i love him. thats why i feel that i am quiet lucky  becoz though we are not together nor ever be but i never hated him nor i ever can do so.because he either deserve to be loved or to get respect.

finaly just want to summarize…….

   ” bichhadte waqt bahut mutmain(relaxed) they hum dono

      kisi ne mud kar kisi ki taraf nahi dekha”

what do you think i am really lucky or not???????????????????? 

                                       ANJALI

jindagi jane kaisi kitab hai jiski ibadat aksyar -2 (word by word) banti hai

aur phir aksyar -2 tutti hai.

aur chetna ki ek lambi yatra ke bad ek aisa makam ata hai jab apki jindagi ka har hadse ka ,uski har subah ki nirasha ka ,uski har dopahar ki bechaini ka ,uski har sham ki udashi  ka ,aur uski jagti ratoin ka,ek wah jayja lene ka samarthya paida hota hai jiski tashris main naye arthoin ka jalal hota hai.aur jiske sath har hadsa ek nayi kadi bankar samne ata hai ,jis par kisi “main” ko pair rakh kar “main” ke pas jana hota hai.

                       missing myself    

                               ANJALI                                           

She was smarter and more confident  than other  children of her own age(at least people used to feel so)as in the age when generally the children use to go market with their parents and purchase things according to the choice of parents , she was the one in her family who was responsible to make the list for monthly needs , go to the  nearest and permanent shop ,pay bills accordingly(of course becoz of being the elder  child in the family).in later years in a early age she was aware how to make booking for cooking gas, how and where to pay bills for electricity and news paper and others. with the passage of time  in the age when other children  used to ask for more pocket money  she was the one who was supposed to help her mother  in the tasks related to bank like to submit the bank draft ,to fill the withdrwal form ,how to get a bank draft and many others. So she was confident enough to do all  the  tasks which normaly  her friends just used to see their  parents doing.but inside this small but confident girl there was a  childish  girl  who was not really so much  confident but used to pretend to be so. The reality was that she was a  little girl who used to feel safe with her parents and did not wanted to go alone to market ,to bank .to other offices. She was the one who some time got upset when some body did not behaved gently during various conversations during all  these responsibilities,who some time got hurt when some one (not only boys but some time  the older ones)made comments during the traveling and at other places. But she had to do all these things,she did and always pretended to be comfortable and confident while doing. And slowly slowly  it became her habbit to look confident and happy and bold. 

                                                                                        to be contin…………….