Nusha’s Shadow

I love animals, whatever kind, shape or size. We have birds, dogs and fishes at home. Sometimes I wish I could run a zoo. Of course there are times I feel like I AM in a zoo with 3 chimpanzees a.k.a my kids and 1 gorilla a.k.a my man, driving me up the wall.

The birds we have at home were human bred from birth and there is a risk that they will not survive on their own. My daily ritual in the mornings is to put them in their own bathrooms (bathing cages) for them to have their baths while I clean their cages and replenish the water and food. There is a certain bond between us. Of the 8 birds we currently have (different breeds), 2 of them are quite comfortable sitting on my hand and singing their hearts out. I talk to them and they seem to understand me and reply with their chirps.

My younger 2 kids (Naveen – 8 and Navya – 6) seem to have taken to the birds as I have. When wild birds come into our house, we huddle together in excitement watching them. My eldest, Nusha, however is a bit of a princess. She even screams at the sight of the tiniest of ants. She would rather be reading a book or drawing something than to spend time with the birds.

A few months ago, I received a call from Nusha’s teacher saying that Nusha and her friends had found an injured bird in the school compound and Nusha had asked if she could take it home to nurse it. I was rather surprised but willingly agreed to it. When I reached home that evening I found a box on the dining table. Nusha had decorated the box with drawings and named it “Shadow’s Box”. She had named the bird “Shadow” as it was almost black.

When I took a peek I saw a tiny baby Swift. It was simply adorable but it seemed to have difficulty moving. I picked him up gently and he held on to me with his tiny claws as if he was so glad for the warmth of my hand. I tried to check if he had fractured his legs or wings but could not find anything. Nusha made a nest out of tissue paper and I placed him there with some water and food. I have never seen this side of Nusha.

The next morning, Shadow still looked the same and I decided it was best to take him to an avian vet. As I carried the box out, Nusha called out, “Please bring Shadow back Ma. Please don’t send him away”. I reassured her that we needed to let a vet check him and I would bring him back thereafter.

The vet said that it was probable that Shadow fell from the nest and had sustained internal injuries but he did not have any fractures. Further, Shadow could not open is eyes which was a sign that his cranial nerves were injured. She tried putting a drop of glucose water at the edge of his beak and said that Shadow was very weak and needed to gain back his strength. She also mentioned that if he survived, it would not be for long due to his injuries and he would be blind. She asked if I wanted the clinic to look after Shadow.

Thinking of Nusha, I replied that we would nurse him at home. Besides, I could still feel Shadow’s helplessness in my hand the night before and my maternal instincts were on overdrive.

I carried Shadow out in his box and waited for the nurse to give me some syringes to feed Shadow. While waiting, I talked to him and he moved a little in his “nest” and then all of a sudden, he lifted himself up a little and just dropped forward slightly to the side.

My knees went weak and with trembling hands I tried to move him. He was listless. I called out to the nurse and she took him away. I stood there in the reception area, still trembling and tears rolling down my cheeks. The vet came out and told me what I already knew. Shadow did not survive. I drove home crying like a baby and thinking how I was to break the news to Nusha.

When Nusha came home after school that evening, she ran from room to room looking for Shadow. I picked her up and put her on my lap and tried to explain but before I could finish, she burst out crying and said “I know what your are going to say – Shadow is dead. No, Ma, no.” It took her some time to pull herself together while I explained that it was actually better for Shadow because he did not have to suffer so much and that he was blessed to find love and warmth in Nusha before he passed on.

I am very proud of Nusha. It has shown me that she has compassion for others and that she is willing to reach out to help and love. Till today when we see Swifts flying up above, my heart aches a little thinking of Shadow and I know Nusha feels the same as well. But we are both glad that Shadow came into our lives albeit for just overnight. Goodbye, Shadow. Rest in peace.