Many women are so secretive about their age. Surprisingly, this seems to have caught on with men as well. Hmmmm .. talk about vanity hee hee. However, I have always been more than willing to share my age with anyone who wanted to know.

It has never been a big deal to me and I never fully understood what the fuss was about. I have always been proud of my age. Well, one is supposed to get wiser with age, right? Or at least I take comfort in that line J

Well, folks, in less than 3 weeks, my life is about to begin yup, me turning the big 4-0. I have never been one to celebrate my own birthdays. But the whole of last year, I was in a weird way kind of excited about turning 40 that I made mental plans that I would throw a big bash to celebrate my 40^th birthday. I think the last time I had a cake for my birthday was when I was 18. My man never really bothered about things like his although every year I give him a surprise party so much so it is no longer a surprise J. Now if my uncle was around, it would certainly be a different story. I think if I came home from work on my 40^th birthday, I would find my entire extended family from Malaysia would be waiting for me at home to celebrate.

http://nusnav.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/01/30/Justice-Datuk-KP-Gengadharan-Nair.html

But now that the day draws closer, my excitement of turning 40 is slowly but surely dwindling. What's the fuss about? Why does the saying go that life begins at 40. Why 40, not 20 or 30 or 60? What is so magical about 40? AND why on Earth did I even think of throwing a bash for MYSELF of all people. Grief! Is this mid-life crisis or am I menopausing. Has my mind been too idle? Well, so far no hot flushes and cold sweats and I have not had the urge to go out and buy a red sports car or have a one-night stand with a guy I met in a pub J.

So, I stood in front of my mirror this morning and had a good look at myself rather than just brushing my hair and splashing some lipstick on before dashing off to work. I look the same. I don't see any wrinkles (I think). The dark circles around my eyes have worsened due to the lack of sleep. My eyesight has deteriorated. I am long-sighted and short-sighted now. My eyes have become fickle-minded. Grey hair is sprouting more but I kind of like it, so no complaints there.

Well, not much physical changes but whilst contemplating this whole age thing, I realize that I HAVE changed. I have changed as a person and I have gone through some process of self-realization. I have grown with the lessons and epiphanies from my life's experiences.

I realize that I am emotionally much stronger than I thought I was. I have learnt not to expect things from people but to accept them for who/what they are. It is a much easier and less painful battle to fight. Each day is precious.

While I run the rat race, I must find time daily to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Smile at a stranger, buy snacks for the cleaner lady at my office, stop all my work and listen to my children rant on and on about their day at school, talk to my plants and do a little gardening, play with my puppy, have a meal with my family, call a friend or relative whom I have not spoken to in weeks just to say "hi", hold my man's hand so that he can feel the warmth of my love, tuck my kids to bed and sing them songs until they fall asleep. I have learnt to do all these and more because each day has become so important to me. I want to give my best daily no matter how tired I am. Too much to do within 24 hours? No. I realize that I can be spread thin like butter and yet be happy. THAT makes me content.

So, no, I am not throwing a birthday bash for myself for turning 40. The saying may be that life begins at 40 but I have realized that life begins everyday and that there is no magical number that can change things unless it is the winning number for a lottery ticket J. I hope each day of your lives are meaningful too. Enjoy

I did not think I would be doing another Tag but my little Buddha (Manoj) sent me the 1^st reminder. So here goes ..

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by them.

RULE #2 Tag six people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.
These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

Terribly hurt but will still forgive. Once I love, it's forever no matter what happens. Would be more cautious after that though.

2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be?Gosh. This is a tough one to be with my granddad once again and ask him all the things I don't know about him.

3. Is there any person, at whose face you wanted to throw your slippers/sandals/shoes at?

Footwear is meant for the feet, not a face J

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Hmmm so many things I guess. Send my mum and aunts around the world on tour, build my own private library, fund an orphanage ..

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

I have and still loving every minute of it although it has been 26 years. Woo-hoo!!

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Love in itself is a blessing J

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?

Till the next hunk comes along and sweeps me off my feet. Hahahahah ..

8. If the person you like finds someone better than you, what would you do?Wish him all the best and pray hard for him cos he has certainly made a mistake!! Some one better than me??? No way, Jose Hee. Hee.

9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?

Children with AIDS or some terminal disease contracted through no fault of their own.

10. What takes you down the fastest?

My man especially when he returns from his overseas trips Hahahahah. Just being cheeky. On a serious note, I guess it has to be hypocrisy.

11. Would you like to have the job you love or love the job you have?

This question is a bit like asking if one believes in falling in love before marrying or marrying and then falling in love. Both has its pros and cons. Whatever it is, I believe in making the best of the situation.

12. What is the thing that you fear most?

My mum leaving this world before me. Yes, I am absolutely selfish when it comes to this. Don't think I will have the strength to withstand such a blow.

13. What kind of person(s) do you think the person who tagged you is/are?

Absolute sweetie J

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

There are too many variables to answer this one J. Married to my man .rich or poor it does not matter.

15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Pray it is a weekend and when I realize it is not, drag myself out of bed for a bath.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would you pick?

Roll a die? The richer? The smarter? heheheheh

17. Would you give all in a relationship?

All and more J

18. What’s eating you now?

It's a new year. Trying not to be eaten

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

Single AND in a relationship J Is that possible??

And the people I tag are ..you know who you are ..no pressure J

There are wars, battles, fights, bombings .that shake the world and our hearts. We watch, cry, shed a tear. Indignantly we scream out "Stop!!!". We want the hurting to stop. We want the pain to stop. We accuse the government. We accuse the religious fanatics. We say "Let there be peace". Many voice out their pain and anguish through various means calling for peace saying we are all different but we are ONE. We must be able to live together peacefully, respecting one another.

Respect .aye, there's the rub. There were many blogs on the recent ruthless killings at Mumbai. Heart-wrenching. Many comments were posted. Equally heart-wrenching. But this very call for peace is on a macro standpoint only. How can we scream for global peace on one hand but on the other we bicker and point out we are superior than the next chap? Bloody ego trips we take.

I remember reading a parable in the Bible many moons ago and till today, I bear it close to my heart. It goes something like:

How can you say to your brother ‘Brother, let me pull out the splinter in your eye’, when you do not see the stick in your own eye? You hypocrite ! First take the stick from your own eye, and then you can see to remove the splinter that is in your brother’s eye.”

Moral: Don't find faults in the person next to you when you have a bigger fault to deal with first. Some time back I posted "Blog", confessing my addiction to iLand and calling out to friends to blog and not flog. Unfortunately, good advice is hardly ever heeded. Yes, I am still think-skinned J

While we cry out to the world to stop hurting, we are hurt right here in iLand. Insults and accusations. It was my idea first. You stole my idea. You have no guts. Pistachio-brained. Frankly I lurve pistachios. You take one and you keep wanting more. It's just never enough J. Now, THAT'S another addiction altogether.

So, this is my take on what seems to be a sudden turn of events within iLand. Maybe there is something in the air that makes us feel superior, more intelligent, better than the next chap. Well, the air has got to me too. No more treading on eggshells trying to ensure that I don't hurt anyone's feelings. Let me be arrogant too. And insulting. I AM THE BEST. THE BEST. THE BEST. No one can beat my posts. No one can match my superior intellectual capacity. No one can beat my ideas. You are all copycats. So

Monalisa a.k.a pistachio brain  - Do you really think anyone is interested in your lame attempts at comedy? We don't want to know what you did in Medical school or how you pinched others when you were a toddler. You are not La adorable.

Moe M ' I simbly and humbly submit that you are not even in the remotest way fun-knee. Go back to skul and learn how to reed and rite ploppuhly.

Sunshine ' You are only slightly bettuh than Moe because your English is bettuh.

Frozen Sun ' am so glad that you have not put up any posts. You blame it on lack of time but I think the Sun has just frozen over and numbed your brains.

PK Madhavan ' You! .you! .you! Aaarrrgggghhhhh .I can't do this anymore. Mad, Maddy, Mad-heaven ..Trust you to knock me back to my sensesJ

So folks, let's stop this childish bickering. So what, if the idea of my post is similar to yours, intentional or not. There is no need to insult and hurt others. I for one, do not have the time or energy to do a thorough research on ALL YOUR posts to find out if some fiend, oops, friend, has written something similar. The only rule I think should exist is that we do not insult but show respect. Enough of the arrogance and superego. The world is miserable enough with all the fighting, we don't have to bring it to iLand too!!

########################################################################

This post (2nd part) was said in jest…meant to be humour…..I certainly do NOT mean what I said about my 5 favourites, Mona, Moe, Sunshine, Frozy and Maddy. I have always respected each one of them and will always will. Am truly sorry if this post was read contrary to my intentions. Guess my sense of humour isn’t very humourous after all. Maybe I should change the title of this blog to “I am the Best….fool on earth”. Cheers!

p/s Another p/s as I think I really came across very wrong and arrogant in this post. NOT my intention at all. I certainly do not think I am the best. So am explaining this post with hope that it will reflect my intention.

a) 1st para - the seriousness of events around the world.

b) 2nd, 3rd, 4th para - what hypocrites we are in calling for global peace when within iLand there has been so much of superiority complex and childish bickering (like what afu did to Mona)

c) next - was me making fun of those very people who bicker and to show them how ridiculous they are, I bring on my famous 5. When I said I love pistachio…it was supposed to be a hit at afu who insulted Mona. I said I can never have enough of pistachios…I meant I can never have enough of Mona.

d) Famous 5 - not abuses but to show all how crazy iLand has become. If you note at Maddy, I stopped and basically said that all sorts of abuses are ridiculous.

e) I ended off by asking people to respect one another. Only when we have mutual respect in a small circle can we have it globally.

That’s it, folks. Now, if you still don’t get it……never mind…..

I see changes in lifestyle everyday and can't help to wonder what the @#%$ (world) is coming to. I am not much of a conservative person and am quite radical in my thoughts although I still wash my husband's feet with milk every morning J. After all, he is a superior MAN and I am only the other inferior species L

What got me vexed was the recent news about Baby P, the toddler in the UK who was so badly abused physically that he died. Apparently, his mother and her boyfriends beat him up over and over again. The strangest part if the Social Welfare people did not realize a thing despite their visits to the house!!! They obviously did not do their part but what about the mother? What about her boyfriends? How can an adult take advantage of a poor innocent defenseless child like that??

This brought back memories of the time I was in London and heard about Jamie Bulger, the 2 year old boy who was lured away from his mother from a shopping mall by 2 boys who were about 10-11 years old. Did they take him to a playground? NO!.They tortured him physically and sexually. If I am not mistaken his body was found on a railtrack. Apparently the boys wanted to act out the movie Child's Play 3. I have never seen that movie but the question is what got the boys to be such sadists. What sort of life did they live and what were they taught to think that it was alright to do those things to anyone. The 2 boys, because they were minors, have since been released and the Courts have granted them a new identity and a new country to live. Is that justice? The Bulgers in the meantime, could not bear the pain and troubles started within the marriage and they eventually divorced. I can't begin to imagine the pain Jamie's mother must be going through especially since Jamie was under her care when it happened.

Just when I was telling myself that I was over-reacting, I read a recent case where a father (yes, a father not step-dad or boyfriend or neighbour) molested and raped his own daughter continually for 3 years. She was only 13 then and his sexual acts just kept going on step further all the time. He watched her shower and raped her after that. She kept mum for fear. 3 years later she confided in a friend who reported it to the school principal. The Court sentenced him to 22 years and 24 strokes of the cane. He will be out in a shorter time and to the world he may have paid his price but what about the emotional scars the girl will have to carry with her for life? What makes this even more horrendous was that the girl's mother wrote a letter to the judge pleading for leniency. Good grief!! Am I being too judgmental? I really don't know. What I do know is that the hurt will continue to be hurt but the person who inflicted the hurt, gets away almost scot-free.

Then we have this chap (who was born a female and wanted to be a male). He did not change his genitals and remained a female waist down. He married a woman and since she could not conceive, he-she conceived and now they have a baby and he-she wants to do it again. Having a child is probably the most wonderful thing but this just destroys everything I believed in. I have nothing against homosexuals/transexuals. Some of my good friends are homosexuals. It's alright by me because to me it is just an issue of sexual preference and maybe some sort of hormonal imbalance but a man giving birth ..as liberal and radical in thought I am ..it is difficult to swallow. How will the child react as he grows older? Will he be teased about being the odd-one out? There are so many types of prejudices in this world. This couple have probably added another one to the list.

I took the bus last night after work and I saw 2 teenage girls seated and talking to each other. Then they started holding hands and, lo and behold, 1 of the girls stuck out her tongue into the other girl's mouth and they were having some sort of a sloppy tongue-battle, i.e. super-duper French kissing. The poor old lady who sat opposite them looked so shocked. I mean to me she looked shocked but she may have just been trying to take down mental notes J. I did not expect to watch soft-porn on the bus. It made me uncomfortable, not just because they were 2 girls but they were doing in on a crowded bus! In a car .that's excusable J. I asked myself why the adverse reaction. 2 things ..One, why is there a need to be overly affectionate in a crowded area. It is as if, they want the attention. I am horny too but there ought to be a time and place for everything .especially if the world can see what food you had as you stick your tongue into your partner right down to his/her stomach and in the process tickle his/her tonsils J

Second, I notice that many homosexuals lurve to exhibit their sexual affections, more so for the younger ones. What/who has taught them this? Have we become so modern and liberal that we can just strip and have it out on a pavement? Are we going back to the Stone Age?

The ubiquitous TV and Internet are great but where do we draw the line. I look around me. There are so many things that make me happy. My birds singing in the morning to wake me up, my kids' laughter, hugs and kisses, my work, my books, my hobbies, my mum not giving me the silent treatment, chatting with my iLand friends, and the fact that I am still alive to enjoy these things. But there is fear. Will my kids be alright? The world has become so crazy and increasingly so. Will my mum be with me till I take my last breath? Will I continue to be able to work?

Many fears of what tomorrow may bring but every day, despite these fears, I am not handicapped by them and when I lay down on my bed at night, I tell myself ..Don't be afraid of tomorrow. God is already there J.

Sorry folks, have been in a rather serious and melancholic mood of late….hence this post. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading this and let me have your views. Cheerio!

blog ' (Noun) a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies; “postings on a blog are usually in chronological order”

web-log

diary, journal- a daily written record of (usually personal) experiences and observations

blog ' (Verb) read, write, or edit a shared on-line journal

communicate, intercommunicate- transmit thoughts or feelings; “He communicated his anxieties to the psychiatrist”

For those who read my earlier posts "Madh About You", you will know how I was "roped" into iLand addiction and simply can't shake it out of my system. I get a certain "high" from having, and sharing with, so many of my unseen friends. I can fully relate to Monalisa's latest post "Smile". As much as I try to draw away from iLand, I find myself drowning further into it. Is there some sort of an "iLand Rehab" that I can check myself into like a drug rehab?? Look at me, in 2 hours time I have to give a 3-hour lecture which I am not even prepared for and here I am, happily typing away on my laptop like there is no tomorrow.

I simply love reading the posts in iLand. It is varied in style, theme, use of language, etc. Some posts are simply awesome, some so profound, some maintain KISS, some are a mile long ..

But what got me thinking about this post was a severe case of a "bombardment" of emails from Team Rediffiland notifying that posts were put up by one of my iLand friends. This friend had put up more than 30 posts one day and a somewhat similar number the next!! What are the contents of the post? A huge picture of my friend (I think) and some quotes, greetings or other smaller pictures. That's when I started to ponder what on Earth is a "Blog"??

Of course there are no rules or guidelines, as such, to follow. "A shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies." What is that??

I doubt a blog should be used to flog although some friends thought I deserved a good one for my earlier post on "Anita". There are times I just want to raise a white flag and surrender after reading some ever so profound and philosophical blogs for I will never be able to match up to those L.

Some blogs are super funny that I fall flat from exhaustion after some side-splitting laughter J. Then there are others who are so witty that their blogs are like slat ..they seem short and maybe even meaningless but you don't know what you are being hit with until you put the pieces together. Then you just want to give yourself a slap for not figuring it out earlier.

But whatever it is or however iLanders write, I enjoy them and all I want to do is to give you guys a resounding clap.

So, go on,

blog away,

flog not,

flag me as a favourite (hee-hee .thick-skinned)

flatter me with your adulation (see my hide gets thicker

slat up more fantastic blogs

slap me with your funniest lines, while I

Well, I am not sure if I have been tagged but dear darling Monalisa has requested that I tag along. Now, how can I turn down one of my favourite friends. So, no fancy pictures like the rest but a boring and plain Q & A…. Just like me (plain and boring )

1.LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER ? 

Gosh! Seems like yonks ago but my daughter just reminded me it was Iron Man with my kids. How can I forget Robert Downey Jr?!?! I was dreaming of him for weeks after that while my man was having nightmares about my sweet dreams.

   2 WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?  Finally got my personal copy of Dicken’s Bleak House. Read it when I was 14 and promised myself then that I would get my own copy when I started working. Just got it at a sale for a whopping $5. Well, better late than never

  3 FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?  Scrabble….hands down and of course Risk.

  5 FAVORITE SMELLS? Freshly cut grass…..the rain….my kids…..and most of all……my man….even after a hard day’s work and everyone thinks he stinks. Yes, I know I am hopeless.

 7 WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? When my kids or man is hurt and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Helplessness and hopelessness!!

 9 FAVORITE FASTFOOD PLACE?. Anywhere my man wants to eat.

10 FUTURE CHILD’S NAME?. Hmmm…Named them all already…..Nusha Dakshyni….Naveen Krisna….Navya Niseetha. I want more but my man says he will run away! 

11 FINISH THE STATEMENT: `IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I’D  Ensure my kids are full secured for rest of their lives, send my mum and her sisters on a world tour, open an orphanage and give them all the love imaginable.
 
12 DO YOU DRIVE FAST?! What a question?! Of course. Wheels were invented for that. My man and I love long fast drives. Just decide to go off at midnight…drive for 5 - 7 hours, check into a hotel……drive even faster and hotter there and head back after some rest

14 STORMS: COOL OR SCARY? Definitely cool. I love to get wet in a storm but what is even better is being with my man in the bed then

16 FAVORITE DRINK? Tequila. Hit me with you best shot baby!!

 18 DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes, the crispier the better.

 21 FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Now this is going to sound absolutely boring……snooker. Of course only when I am alone. Otherwise, it is badminton and football.

22 WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? Dust. my domestic helper does not do a good job

23 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS AGAIN? My man…with a wife like me

24 MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL? Both…dun get much sleep and am chirpy and alert all the time.

25 OVER-EASY OR SUNNY-SIDE UP?  Anything but sunny-side up (if we are talking about egss). Hate the “leak”. Makes me nauseous.

26 FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? My garden with tequila or in my man’s arms….with tequila.

27 FAVORITE PIE? No pies for me. Yucks! 

28 FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR? Went off ice-cream like 10 years ago.

29 WHO WOULD YOUR DREAM DATE BE? As Mona said, Denzel Washington….Robert Downey Jr….but most of all…..My Man. Well, as for my man…it’s still a dream date cos he is so comfortable being married, he has forgotten that I have needs and desires too!! 

 30 OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO’S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?

Aboslutely no idea but I do want to hear from my favourite “Madh-heaven”

31 ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN ? I was for many years until my mum sent me on this emotional guilt trip. Now the main non-veg I take is fish, just to please her. 

 32 YOUR FIRST LIP ENCOUNTER ' When and Where ' 1) In the Balcony 2) Behind the School Bus 3) In the movie theater  or . My man….on his cheek when we were 13 ….. on his birthday !

33 DO YOU SLEEP IN THE BUFF? My policy is simple….why put on stuff when you only going to take them off and risk tearing them in the process  

34 If you SEE a PERSON in the buff what would you do ? a)scream “There is a naked person”!!!!!!! b)cover your eyes c) drool

 Keep them company?!?! No. Will probably act cool and cover the areas that ought to be covered, with a duvet and walk away.

35 MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT     My son walking into my room in the  middle of the night when….

Now, I TAG the ol’ fav…..our very own “Madh-heaven“…..Please do us the honours