This is about a man who died of cancer quite 25 years ago.  The episode which I intend to narrate here was recounted to me by my friend with whom I have lost touch now.

The man was my friend's colleague.  I joined that office a year after the death of the man due to blood cancer.  He was hardly 30 when he died. His cancer was diagnosed and death predicted six months before his death.  His colleagues saw him eaten away slowly by the disease. So, every one was very friendly and sympathetic to him.  My friend, being a woman of very amiable nature, was also very sympathetic and friendly with him so that he could be happy in the last few months of his life.  One day, when she happened to be alone with him in the office, he expressed his grief that he was going to die an unmarried man because of his cancer.  He had told her that he had never had sex with any woman and regretted that he had to die without having sex.  Even as my friend was trying to divert the conversation, he had asked her whether she would mind spending a day with him in a suit in Mahabalipuram.  He had told her that no one would know that and he would be able to die with one major desire in his life fulfilled.  My friend who had just been engaged to be married was shocked to hear that.  She had politely told him that it wouldn't be possible. The subject did not figure again. The sick man died a month later. When my friend, narrated this incident to me, she had two children.  It might be a few years after that incident and she said that their conversation and the shock that it left in her were still very fresh in her memory.

I did not know how to react when my friend recounted the incident to me wondering what kind of thoughts pass through the mind of even a dying man.

I think we should judge people ' form opinion about people may be the correct ex-pression ' by the way they behave with strangers rather than with known people.  A person may be nice to known people because of various considerations. So, it may not the real person in someone that we see as one known to him as a friend.  You can see his real self as a human only when you see the way he treats an unknown fellow human.  I know a person who is very nice to every friend of his, including me.  But, on a few occasions, I was astonished by his behaviour with  stangers.

Once when we were on a visit to a pilgrim town, he went to a PCO to make a call. After finishing the call, he paid the bill which was some rupees and 75 paise.  By then, 25 ps coins were almost out of circulation.  So the booth attendant returned him the balance in whole rupees but couldn't pay 25 ps.  He took it for granted that my friend knew the problem and would not insist on 25 ps.  But my friend entered into a lengthy argument with him for 25ps. Seeing it, I went near. By then, they had finished. I heard my friend say,  "treat that 25 ps as my alms to a beggar and keep it with you like a begger”. He said, "mind your business and get lost".  After the temple visit, I was returning with absolute peace of mind. I was surprised at the behaviour of my friend.  Was it worth quarrelling with a stranger for the sake of just 25 ps.

On the second occasion, we were going for breakfast.  My shoe lace was needing replacement.  Two small boys aged about 13 were vending shoe laces with their shoe-polish kit.  I asked one of them to polish my shoes and change the laces. He demanded Rs.10 for both the jobs. (i.e. Rs.5 for shoe laces and Rs.5 for polishing).  I agreed and the boy started the work.  My friend who joined me shortly, asked the other boy to polish his shoes and change the laces. (In fact, his shoe laces didn't need change. They had only become old).  Since, I had already settled the rates with the first boy, the second boy assumed that my friend will also pay the same amount and started the work. After finishing the work, I paid him Rs.10/-   Seeing this, my friend asked the boy how he could charge Rs.10/- and said that we should pay only Rs.8/- because the price of one pair of shoe laces is only Rs.3/- and not Rs.5/-.  It was around 800 AM in the morning and I couldn't sight any vendor on the footpath for changing my shoe laces. I was desperate because I could not wear the shoes without replacing the laces.  Besides, I pitied the boys.  They were supposed to be in school at their age. It was their misfortune that they had to work at that tender age. So, I didn't mind paying a rupee or two more for them. So I told my friend that it is better to pay Rs.10/- each to the boys and close the matter.  But my friend was adamant. He threatened the boy that he would call the police and hand them over.  A few passers-by also intervened in support of my friend. (It is my experience that unlike in Chennai, in Delhi the poor people and labourers are an ill-treated lot and they don't get any support from the public even if they are right). Finally, it was settled that I will pay Rs.10/- as already agreed as I could not manage without the new laces.  My friend got his new pair of laces removed from his shoes and replaced them with the old ones and paid him only Rs.5/- as polishing charges. For a second time, my friend gave me a surprise.

On the third occasion, I was browsing the internet in his office chamber.  He had some public visitors on that day.  They were waiting outside his room.  One of them came in and asked whether he can have a glass of water. My friend was attending a phone call.   So I was about to say, "Okay. Please have".  To my surprise, my friend closed the phone receiver with one hand and shouted, "Water is kept here for my use.  If you want water, go out and have it some where but not here."  The disappointed visitor left the room murmuring, "Sorry, Sir".  My friend’s rudeness to that stranger was unnecessary. 

I feel  very uncomfortable with people who are rude to fellow humans without any provocation, even if they be my friends.  

I have a friend. Once he requested me to bring some books for his children from Delhi as these were not available in Chennai. I brought them. He wanted to pay for those books. They had cost about Rs.500/- He was after all my friend and the books were meant for small kids. So, I didn't want to take the money. I told him to let those books be my gift to them and refused to take the money. The next day he came to my house with about 25 meters of electrical cable meant for AC line and said that I should make electrical provision for fixing an AC in my children's bed room. He said that the cable was purchased for his own use but there was some excess and it was of no use to him.  I had no plan of buying AC for my home. So I told him I did not need the cable at all and asked him to take it back. But he left it at my home saying that I should use it whenever I purchased an AC.

After almost a year, I thought of buying an AC.  I showed the wire given by my friend to the electrician and asked him whether that could be used. He said that it could be used.  The wire was to be laid the following weekend. I casually mentioned it to the friend.  He seemed to have completely forgotten the cable.  The next day he came to my house and took back the cable saying that he would show it to his electrician and see whether it was fit. If it was fit, he would himself bring his electrician and lay it at my flat. He was gone with the cable.  He never met me nor talked to me on phone for sometime.  After a few weeks, he started calling me on phone and meeting me also. But there was no word about the cable.  Later, I came to know that he had used the cable for fixing an AC in his son's room.

It was indeed a strange experience to get something dumped on you when you don't need it at all and have it snatched from you when you find some use for it.