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Respectable Looks, Thoughts & Behaviour

We have an old couple in our neighborhood. Their sons and daughters were abroad. The lonely couple had chosen to live in our neighborhood.   They enjoyed all the love and respect which old people like them would generally receive in neighbourhood. 

 

Among our neighbors, there was a young couple which had come from Andamans after the Tsunami. They had got separated by the tsunami and luckily re-united. The husband escaped by clinging to a coconut tree for several hours. He found an unconscious woman floating in the water and pulled her out from the water.  To his surprise, he found that it was his wife.  Thus they both escaped. But they had a daughter whom they lost in the tsunami. Since her body was not found nor her death officially confirmed, they still hoped that she would return some day.

 

This distressed young mother was in the habit of visiting the old couple for solace. Whenever she visited them, she would respectfully fall at the feet of old lady and seek her blessings for her daughter's return. This went on for some time. One morning, after the young woman left, the old woman casually remarked to her servant maid, "Foolish girl, she comes here and seeks our blessings, believing that her daughter would return one day.  Is it ever possible that a small girl swept away by tsunami will ever return after so many years?  I dont think she will ever come back."

 

The young woman who came to know of this soon from the servant maid must have been terribly shaken. She met her and enquired.  The old woman did not show even a slight sign of remorse. She remained totally unmoved and asked her whether the servant maid had told her everything.  

 

We had another neighbor who died of heart attack. He had some small amount left in his savings bank account. For giving this amount to his son, the bank wanted some forms to be filled in by his son and signed in the presence of some witness. The son requested the husband of the old woman who had retried after holding a senior position in a bank to sign in the form as a witness. After poring over the form for a long time, the old man finally said that he never signed any paper without consulting his sons and bluntly refused to sign the form as a witness. The son who was known to the old man for a very long time was more shocked than surprised that the old man was reluctant to sign even as a witness.  

 

People who have respectable looks don't always have to have respectable thoughts and behavior.

Posted in People.

1 comment

By EricBlair shelly – May 22, 2008


What kind of person is he?


This is about a strange experience I had with the Director in my office a few years ago.
 
The Director, with whom I was working as Administrataive Officer, was sometimes very petty minded. Once he received a phone call from a person claiming to be a member of the audit team which had visited our office a few days earlier. He said that in Kamadenu co-operative stores, the stock of some grocery items was found to be in excess during stock verification and that they wanted to dispose it off at 50% of their cost. As that had to be done secretly, he  he was sharing the information only with select people and requested the director to take whatever he wanted but not to discuss the matter with any other person.  The director offered to buy me some grocery. I told him that I didn't need anything, as I was in a far away place and could not carry them home. But he insisted that I should also buy some and included some grocery items for me in his own list, despite my protests.  The caller had asked the director to send his peon in his vehicle with money.  The peon was to wait near a go-down at a given time.  The peon reached the spot.  The caller was already there and identified the peon with our office car number.  He collected the money ' Rs.3000/- and went inside the go-down. The peon was to wait near the car till he returned with the provisions. The man never returned.  The peon returned late in the evening to report the matter to the Director.  The Director was fuming with anger.  I told him that he had been cheated. Since what he had done was not an honorable thing befitting his status, I advised him not to discuss the matter with anyone and completely remove it from his mind.

Since he had included some provisions for me in his list, I thought that I was under moral obligation to share the loss suffered by him. So I asked him the value of the grocery which he had meant to buy for me. He refused to tell me the amount and also refused to take any money from me.  After a lot of persuasion, he said that it was only Rs.750/- but refused to take the cash given by me. So I left a cheque on his table.  I was to leave that office shortly on transfer.  On the last day, I requested him to present the cheque.  He said that he would never deposit the cheque and would preserve it as a memento to remind him of my straightforwardness. 

Soon, I left the office and joined another office in Delhi.  After a few months I came to Chennai on leave and went to the bank to update my pass book.  I found that after I left, the Director had presented the cheque. The amount had been debited from my account.  I was not surprised.  Because, I knew him and  anticipated that he would do so.  So I had taken care not to close the account and keep sufficient balance in the account.  Afterwards, I closed my bank account.

Even now, the Director meets me or speaks to me occasionally if he needs my advice on any official subject or his service matter.  I have no hesitation in meeting or speaking to him.  It seems that once we understand and know someone for what they are, we just don't get upset by their behaviour. 


Posted in People.

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By EricBlair shelly – May 18, 2008


Mani and His Athimber

I was 15 years old. It was the village where I did my last two years of schooling. There was an ancient Shiva Temple in the village and an agraharam opposite that. We happened to reside in the agraharam. The temple had a gurukal. The gurukal had a brother-in-law. His name was Mani. He was my classmate and an intimate friend.  After attending school, Mani assisted his athimber in attending to temple rituals. I spent most of my leisure time with Mani. During festival times, when his athimber was busy in the temple, Mani would take charge of other small temples in the nearby villages. After returning from school Mani would take his bicycle and go to these temples for performing the evening pujas.  I would accompany him. While riding, we talked of all trivial and meaningless things.  The village had a small lake which we had to ourselves in the weekends for playing and bathing. There was also a tamarind grove where we played all sorts of rustic games. But it was the ancient Shiva temple where we spent most of our time in reading and playing.

In the afternoons, the temple was closed to the public. We and a few other friends used to play hide and seek in the temple.  Except the main deity- the shiva lingam, the idols of all other deities ' ganesha, murugan, anjeneyar etc. ' used to be our hiding places. This was despite the fact that no one was permitted to go near the idols except the gurukkal.   One day the temple attendant, Kasi, caught us while playing and reported the matter to the gurukal and our parents.  The parents joined together and reprimanded us severely for desecrating the holy places. Thereafter the temple was locked in the afternoons. We were not allowed to meet each other.  Mani's athimber being the gurukal of the temple had all the reason to be angrier and sterner with us than others.  But contrarily, he continued to be as kind to us as ever.   He only told us that for our age we should behave like more responsible children.   

Months rolled by. We wrote the school final examination. I cleared the exam finishing second in the school. Mani failed in examination. I got admission in a college in Trichy which was my hometown as well. It was time for me to depart from the village for ever. I went to Mani's house to take leave. He rested his face on my shoulders and began to cry. I consoled him saying that we would be in touch. Mani's athimber was watching us. In a moment he went inside the house and returned with his hands full of coins. He dropp the coins into mine  and blessed me saying that I should shine well in life and my hands would always be filled with money like that. His gesture was very touching. At the same time, I was disturbed that he should bless me like that in front of my friend who had failed in the exam and was watching us with a heavy heart.  Mani said that he would try to clear the exam in the next attempt.  I left with a heavy heart. As Mani watched me leave, tears rollrd down his cheeks.  I had no words to console him as my throat also began to choke.

There were a few letters between us. After that we drifted away in the current of life and lost touch with each other.  With the passage of time, I grew up physically, mentally and emotionally. I came to be associated with several kinds of people in my college, in my neighborhood and in the workplace. I often thought about Mani and his athimber. I realized that the innocence and the good heart I found in those two persons are rare to come by. Impelled by feelings of nostalgia, I thought I should see them once.  About 35 years had passed since I left Mani and his athimber.

Recently, I happened to visit a town near that village and had some free time left. I thought I would visit that Shiva Temple in the village. I reached the village around 1130 am. I went straight to the temple as it would close at 1200 Noon. But for some minor changes, the houses in the agraharam were the same. Mani's house which was adjacent to the temple was also there.  The temple looked new. It must have been recently renovated. Fortunately, it was open. I entered the temple.  Within a few years of my departure, Mani had left that village to join his parents.  The Gurukal was well past his middle age when I left. He must be too old to do the pujas.  So I did not hope to see either of them. I did not find Kasi, the temple attendant who was always found sitting at the entrance of the temple.  The temple was completely deserted.  I went inside and checked. There was no one in the moolavar sannithi. In the amman sannithi, an old gurukal was doing pujas. I could not see his face as he was facing the amman. I wondered whether it could be Mani's athimber. I waited. After completing the pujas, the gurukal offered kunkum to me. His face resembled Mani's athimber but I was not sure.   So I asked him how long he had been in the temple's service. He said that he had been there since 1958. At once I recognized it was Mani's athimber. I told him, that I was Mani's friend and classmate. He could not recognize me.  He said that he was 80 years old and was not able to recollect anything.  I told him everything. For my satisfaction, he said that he was able to recall vaguely whatever I told him.  He thanked me for visiting him after so many years. He recited a stanza from Naladiyar to stress the importance of universal love. He said that after serving Lord Shiva for more than 50 years, he had given up desire and anger and got into the habit of loving everyone.  I told him that he was like that when I knew him 35 years ago.  He smiled in reply. I enquired about his family. He had three daughters and a son. All were married and he was quite contended in life. It gave me immense happiness to know that.  I came to know that Mani was also married and had two daughters. He was also a gurukal in a Murugan temple near Coimbatore. I decided that I should meet him also once.

After paying my respects to him, I left that place with complete satisfaction. 

Posted in Blogs.

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By EricBlair shelly – May 29, 2007