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OFFTRACK–Position very Vacant

 B ARELY 17, but desperate to assert my independence by earning some money, I started working at a drug store. One evening a gentleman walked up to the counter and confidently asked for a 500 mg Avil, an anti-allergic tablet available as an over-the-counter drug. That was 20 times the recommended dosage of 25 mg! I was stumped. I blurted out, “Is an elephant in trouble?” The customer’s eyes bored into me and the ex-pression on his face bordered between rage and murder Incidentally in his sheer size and proportions, he could give competition to an elephant. So I guess he had reason to be offended by my comment. That was the end of my brief brush with the world of medicinal demand-supply.

   My subsequent employer was a shrewd but a methodical man. He maintained a meticulous record of his business clients to the minutest of detaiL Working in the same environs, we constantly interacted with a gorgeous receptionist. Notwithstanding his age, he capitalised every possible opportunity to impress her She had a secret admirer in me too. One day, my boss asked me to call up an exclusive restaurant and book a table for two. His devilish smile said it all and I decided to go beyond the call of duty and innocently informed his wife about the impending evening out. That was the end of that job.

  I once got a placement in a small publishing house as an amanuensis - a fancy Latin word that used to describe people who basically are employed to write out the words of another person’s writing. I was rendered useless copying out somebody else’s ideas when my own, at least to me, were far superior Only there were no takers for my brilliant thinking - yet. Before I could think of quitting, my boss enlightened me on the virtues of my handwriting, which was sheer cacography: “Your writing is in direct competition with the Harappan script that still had the hope of being deciphered in the distant future.” I had my ticket to freedom placed in my hand. Life has been kind to me, for now I am a scribe - a fancy word used to describe people writing for newspapers. I never forget to thank the person who invented the computer, thereby ensuring that my writing isn’t left to be deciphered by future scholars.

 

Source: Hindustan Times 16/4/2008 Edit page written by Vikram Kumar


Posted in Fun.



3 Responses

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  1. Nikhat Fatima says

    very funny. simply loved it.

  2. SAVI SHRESTHA says

    excellent post.

  3. archie jha says

    gr8…