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Adios Iland!

Well, let's get the obvious out of the way. As the title indicates, I am leaving iland.

This is my 2nd and last anniversary here on iland. This is also the 2nd anniversary of my first blog post. However, I will continue blogging at probabilityisgod.wordpress.com. In fact, I intend to restart and get better this time drawing from my iland experiences.

Now let's get to, "why am I leaving iland?" I always had issues with rediff. Long back, I read Raja Sen's review of "Race". I never read reviews in detail since they seem to give away too much. I only read the first and last few lines. But this one was a horror by any standards. He gave away the ending starting on the second line, and said that it is better to watch the movie after knowing the ending. I somehow managed to confuse myself of his words and forget the ending. I enjoyed the movie. But whatever the movie, I decided to abandon rediff movie page then. I visited that page less than 5 times since.

Also, I frequently find a conscious effort to whip up false passions and garner hits. For example, there was this headline, "Hayden calls India a third world country". Well, isn't it? The article does not show any animosity of Hayden towards India. However, there are the usual abuses at the bottom hurled at him. That is, after all one of our great pastimes.

Whatever the negatives, I had iland and the acquaintances I made here. I initially chose iland because I was new to blogging and wanted feedback. I did not think I will get it in a different setting. Iland is predominantly a Indian crowd which increases familiarity, there is a lot of personalization and even if by losing objectivity, we have lot more interactions. This, of course, removes one of the biggest advantages of blogging, which is to respond to the words and not the individuals. But then as I said, I wanted responses.

And then along came the "Array " problem. I could not view a few posts around iland and I got a couple of emails saying they could not see mine. Also some of my comments were not visible. And for whatever reason, I had very few interactions in the last few days, and there was a longish silence from many of my closest acquaintances. A reason why I had to stay around vanished with this. However, it was still a chore to move from iland and start elsewhere. I already have a base here and an identity. I needed one more reason.

Rediff provided that too. I thought I would stay if, at least, I would hear from somebody at rediff on the "Array…" problem. I did not get a response to three mails. Then, I got one from Salil who I interacted with earlier. He said he is on vacation and that somebody will get back to me. Nobody did. I really like this guy. But Salil is not rediff, and there aren't enough Salils over there. I gave myself time till July 4 (my birthday) to wait for their response and made my decision. I am moving today, on my blogging anniversary. I will have a 30-day buffering period (August 6) after which I will delete all my posts on iland.

There was a time when we would be very thankful for a platform to publish our views, even if flawed, if it came for free. It is a sign of how times have changed that we demand the best these days. I know rediff is not providing a free service. They have a way of making money through all this traffic. All the same, I thank rediff for hosting me the last 2 years and the system that made it all possible where everybody can have a voice with no discrimination whatsoever. It is one of the true triumphs of mankind.

As I leave, I also wish to thank everybody who interacted with me. I have acknowledged the various influences on my thoughts in the respective posts. It was mostly a pleasure. Specifically, I am glad to have met VT (of vixx), Ice Candy (of icecandy), TW (of thoughtworks), and Vaibhav (of justlikedat). I think I would have learnt a lot from VT who I consider, at least, an equal to me. But we had very few interactions. With all four of them, I felt that we are talking about the same thing, in spite of our disagreements, which was very refreshing. I rarely had to repeat an argument. I had limited interactions with Vaibhav. That is why his name is last of the four J TW was special because I don't agree with many of his ideas, but we managed to talk without animosity, and without any below the belt argumentative techniques which are common. Ice Candy had been a constant most of these two years, and he is probably the closest of the four. I wish I could meet these guys, sometimes. And maybe I shouldn't. Maybe, they are better in the virtual world J I wish them, and all the rest of you, fulfilment of your goals. Maybe, I will meet some of you at wordpress; maybe not. But, the rediffiland chapter ends for me. Adios!

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I dedicate this post to Kush. As I said last year, I would dedicate one post a year on my anniversary to the person who contributed most to my thinking that year. Though not very well presented, I consider "Is the Universe Deterministic?" and "The Creator-Creation Equation" the most important this year. Kush held the discussions leading to the second post. I am not on good terms with Kush. But rules are rules J and so the dedication.

Posted in Personal.

10 comments

By Sarath Chandra – July 8, 2009


My Three Most Important Movies

Philadelphia '

No movie had more impact on my thoughts on the issue of discrimination than this one. I always list this as my favourite movie, primarily because it was an entertainer first and a preacher next. The movie was gripping and interesting, and I evolved watching it.

For example, when a gay approaches Washington at a drug store, he is offended. When I first saw the movie, I was with Washington. I thought, "Just because he defended a gay guy, how could he think that he is also gay?" But then, after repeated viewings I realized how deep rooted my own biases were. Washington asks, "Do I look gay to you?" The gay responds, "Do I look gay to you?" and goes on, "Take it as a compliment."

The power house performances of Hanks (watch him on exiting Washington's office after Washington refuses to represent him) and Washington, as he transforms himself as a human being, are themselves worth multiple viewings. The rest is a bonus; a huge one.

The Last King of Scotland '

I cannot find the words to describe why this movie is important. But I know that it is. The movie is based on Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. It is too scary for me to see a second time.

It scared me away from dictatorships for life. All of us have an affinity for the status quo in our lives. When a man becomes a dictator he enjoys absolute power; then he becomes afraid of loosing it. It is inevitable. The most dangerous type of man is the insecure one.

Artificial Intelligence '

"Man can never create consciousness." We hear that often. These people who kneel awe struck at the, real or imagined, greatness of god or nature as the case maybe, will be the ones who will lead the cruelty of mankind towards the artificial consciousness that he will eventually create. The creator of the artificial being that is capable of love, in the movie, asks, "In the beginning, didn't god create man to love him?" responding to the concern expressed over the responsibilities of man towards that artificial being.

To god, we are never real, because he created us. He tells us that our reality is maya, that we ignore our sufferings, and live thinking of him. Similarly, for us, the artificial beings we would create would never be real to us. Their feelings are not real feelings, and we would program them to live in service to us. That will be why we would be cruel to them.

Centuries ahead of its time, when the conditions depicted in the movie become a reality this movie would long have been forgotten. The flesh fairs i.e., the public destruction of artificial intelligence and thus a celebration of reality will happen. The artificial beings would heroically try to become real, and would probably take a few centuries to realize that they are real, that reality is always a definition, that it is a function of the reference frame chosen, that it is not an absolute, that it is not independent of the consciousness that tries to define it, and that one cannot exist without the other. And the cycle may continue.

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I find these movies the most important. So I guess, I think, these movies are important, in my view, to those who are exposed, in general, to similar experiences to me.

Posted in Movies.

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By Sarath Chandra – May 30, 2009


The Fundamentals of Consciousness

Recently I made a statement that every multi-particle system can be classified as conscious. Here I will elaborate on that statement.

First we will define consciousness. Consciousness is being aware in such a way that the conscious entity distinguishes clearly between itself and all other things and events. An entity is a collection of particles, and each particle is concentrated energy.

How would you determine if a body is conscious? We all can determine whether a human is conscious, semi-conscious, or barely conscious by analyzing the way he responds to environment. Similarly, we look at animals and can ascertain their level of consciousness. Till here consciousness is an obvious concept for us. Why is it so, and how do we extend our understanding to determine if a plant or a stone is conscious?

It is obvious that consciousness is not discrete quantity i.e. it is not a yes or no question. It is continuous, which means that the levels of being unaware and completely aware are the lowest and highest measures of a parameter that has all possible values in between. We find determining the consciousness of an animal simple because their responses to environment are similar to ours primary because our sense organs are essentially similar.

Now how do we determine the conscious level of a body that has different structure to us? We can understand the concept of plant consciousness. There are experiments suggesting it's responding to music, care, light etc. We further classify plants as conscious because they grow, just like we do. In short, the more similar an entity's responses to ours the more likely we are to accept that it is conscious because we define that we are conscious.

Now a stone, for example, does respond to heat, light, etc. In fact, any multi-particle system responds to external stimuli. The only problem is the level of response is orders of magnitude lower to ours. Now back to the previous sentence, level of response? How do we measure that? A little thought reveals that level of consciousness is proportional to the degree of organization in a system. This can be easily measured; the more the energy requirements of a system, the higher its degree of organization. A more useful measure is energy requirement per unit mass. For example, the sun's energy requirement is more than mine. However, its mass is so high that it's energy requirement per unit mass is much lower*. A measure of consciousness can be just the energy requirement of the system per unit mass.

A common objection to this definition of consciousness is that we have memories, brains, and we choose to respond in some way while the systems we classify as inanimate have no memories, brains, and no choice but to respond in a certain way. The objection in the form of memories and brains is trivial; all multi-particle systems have memories. You just have to know how to unravel the information. If we define a brain as data processing and storing system, that is another continuum similar to consciousness. The choice question is similar to the freewill vs. pre-destiny question. We'll deal with that later**.

In short, an atom is more conscious than a proton, electron, or neutron. It knows what to do when another atom approaches. A molecule is more conscious than an atom. It knows more. A stone is more conscious than a molecule. A cell is more conscious than a stone. A plant is more conscious than a cell. And animals are more conscious than plants.

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* I admit to some sloppiness here. I usually do at least some rough calculations before making such a claim. But was too lazy to do it.

**I think all multi-body systems are, for all practical purposes, pre-destined in their responses. This we will discuss later. However, I hold that nobody (in or out of our universe) can predict the responses. This was already discussed in “Is the Universe Deterministic?”.

These are just hypotheses, and we can continue working on them.

Posted in God.

14 comments

By Sarath Chandra – May 16, 2009


In Defense of Science and Technology

Maybe, it is only me. But there are certain statements that really perplex me. Take for example,

"Mankind has become so arrogant that they think science and technology can solve any problem thrown up by nature" or the many variations of the statement one can think of. And then one sees the numerous agreements pouring in.

In all my years of living in India, I have not come across even one individual who believed "science and technology can solve every problem mankind can face", and I have lived all of it in the supposed bastions of science i.e. schools and universities.

Then I came to US. So far I lived here for five years. Here too I lived in the supposed bastions of science i.e. universities. And these are universities in supposedly the most scientifically advanced country in the world (?). I have not come across one individual who thought "science and technology can solve every problem that we face".

And then there is the internet. Internet is supposedly a place where we can find all kinds of individuals. Did I find one person? Frankly, I did not search specifically. But, in my entire look around, I did not find even one.  In fact, I trepidate and prepare for days and nights when I think of suggesting that "maybe it is possible for science and technology to find a way out for us here" in any open forum; during personal or internet discussions.

Maybe, I am living in an alternate universe. But I see no man; forget mankind, who has become so arrogant he believes science can solve all the problems we face. And I don't have the guts to suggest maybe science and technology solved some problems we faced in time. The mankind which has become so arrogant is invisible; the self proclaimed "few" heroic individuals can split me into pieces by their sheer force of self righteousness. Surely make the point science can't solve all problems. But why pretend you are one of the few individuals seeing the truth? On my data, I don't see any disagreeing with you.

Another statement I am desperately uncomfortable making is, "I find so and so holy scripture very interesting and advanced on its views on reality, creation etc". More than half the time I read such a view elsewhere, it is followed by a typical, "see, our scriptures have discovered what science is discovering only now". I can say this, but I don't know if others will find it important. Modern science is as much about process as it is about knowledge. It is not enough to theorize; you have to prove it. You have to prove it in such a way that any independent 3rd party be able to reproduce your experimental results.

In any case, are we looking for knowledge or trying to prove the superiority of scriptures over science? Why are most of us so keen on proving that? BTW, people seem to believe that most scientific ideas are proved wrong. Scientific ideas have 3 stages; hypothesis, theory, and law*. And I daresay no scientific idea that graduated into a theory or a law, was ever proved wrong in modern science. They were only built upon. Maybe, at least we should remember when sitting in front of our computers communicating with the world trashing science and technology, that that which you are trashing is providing you the medium to do it. Or is it too uncomfortable to remember that? But, of course; isn't it?

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*Read "The Philosophy of Science" for a more detailed background of the argument.

In the last few days I hit upon an exciting (for me) interpretation of the Gita which makes it logically more consistent to me. I am presently working on it. But I found myself hesitant to post it when thinking of the time I would. I did not want that work to be used as another "proof" of inferiority of science. The thoughts resulted in this post.

I am aware this kind of defense has no place in the scientific world. That is why I place it in the “Morality” subcategory. I see a lot of relevance there.

Posted in Morality.

11 comments

By Sarath Chandra – May 9, 2009


The Disc of Light

This time, I will try and give people who like me a reason to smile with me and give people who don't like me a reason to laugh at me.

 

This happened in my 8th standard. It was a unique event in my life. And I cannot offer you any proof for the veracity of what I am saying except maybe the increasingly unreliable memories of my classmates. And what they may remember, which would be very vague and inconclusive, will still not prove anything of what I am about to say. It will only serve as extremely weak supporting evidence. So that's that. You have nothing but my word to evaluate the event or anything else we can derive from that.

 

For as long as I remember I always wanted to be good whatever I thought that constituted at any given stage of my life. That meant I was very pious till my 9th standard. I used to dream of running away from school to forests for meditating till my 5th standard; I used to postpone it to see my parents the next weekend. Once in my 3rd standard I meditated the whole night on Krishna in Padmasana. By the time, I got out of the meditation, I was surprised to find myself sitting and notice the time indicating early morning.

 

Anyway, coming back to the point, late 7th standard or early 8th standard I discovered the "Wisdom" magazine. I used to read it cover to cover and I used to implement everything to the best of my ability in my life. Selflessness, honesty, sacrifice, courteousness, unconditional giving, cleanliness you name it, I had it. It all sort of peaked in the middle of 8th standard. I was noble. That day a friend told me that my behavior was great. I did not feel any pride because I stopped feeling it because it was supposed to be wrong.

 

And so, that afternoon I noticed a disc of light behind my head around 2 PM when I was walking in the corridor. I was shocked initially. For the first couple of hours it was all about verification; it was there. Just like the ones you see in those god pictures. I was perplexed, but continued to concentrate on getting my behavior as good as possible. It stayed with me till that night around 9 or 10. Then somebody came saying somebody bullied one guy in our class. For the last few days, I had been good to the guy. However nobody in our class liked this guy. I, as is the obvious right thing to do, stood against the incident and supported the bullied guy. However, the guy who told me the story threw a fig leaf pointing out a mistake this bullied guy has done, and so, he reasoned, he deserved what happened to him. It was a tough one. We always have an overwhelming tendency to agree to whoever is talking to us, because that is the comfortable thing to do. Somehow I agreed that the bullying was right in the background of his mistake. The light went off. 

It never came back. I don't think I was hallucinating because I should be having a mental picture of that in my mind. Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine a light turning on behind my head. So I personally eliminate that possibility. Did I enjoy the experience? Can't say so, because personal happiness is something that I had foregone at that stage. What do I think it is? A hypothesis can be: I have tried losing my sense of self. So maybe I started merging with my surroundings or the universe and lost my sharp personal boundaries. Maybe, I perceived that as the light. Do I want to experience it again? No. I am not really that tempted. Do I think you'll believe me? Frankly, I don't really care J

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Did you laugh or smile, or was it plain bored?

Posted in Personal.

15 comments

By Sarath Chandra – May 2, 2009


A Stop Reached

Life goes on. There is no "The End" card in life, as there are in movies, where the protagonists would live happily ever after. All the same, life has its own stops. Sometimes you reach a stop, and then the journey towards the next stop begins. Each journey can be likened to a movie, maybe. A stop can be a time to regroup, and possibly write for yourself a better script as you start the journey towards the next stop.

I remember coming down the escalator with less than 50 dollars in my pocket, and seeing Santhi by a pillar in the airport. That was five years back. I was not afraid. Santhi says nobody comes to US with so little money. But I had Santhi here, and then this is US.

As we tried to settle in the next few weeks, we took out all the cash advances from whatever credit cards she held. She was here one year before me. She spent whatever little she earned on my applications, and phone cards. At least, she built a decent credit history. Santhi transferred to my University. Maybe, she was afraid of the effect my natural charm will have on other girls J but she did not have funding. Only I did. She managed to find a job within a month. But her tuition and our initial expenses gave us a debt exceeding 10000. However my funding was not steady.

In the second semester, I got an option to change my advisor for a steadier funding. I decided against it. I stuck with my present advisor. Santhi said not many would have done that. I said that it's just good business sense. You stick to what you are. There is no point losing oneself. Once the short-term disadvantage where I was without funding for a couple of months lifted, I was in the good books of two Profs. I knew hunger and poverty; I could deal with a little unsteady funding. To date my funding had been unsteady. But I work with three Professors. So I usually get a check from one of them or the other.

That August we got married. Obviously, since it was a "love" marriage, we had to pay for it. That was around 15000. That and another trip to India ensured that we stayed in debts to date. We would get positive soon; this summer probably. That maybe fun.

Today I defended my PhD work. It had been a hectic semester, and I am sure my hairline receded. But I defended, and I passed. In the last four years at this school, I was awarded three best teaching assistant awards and Tau Beta Pi honor society membership. I managed straight A's in all courses except one B. I had 22 arrears in my BE. I don't think I changed much in the way I approached life or studies from then to now.

I reached a stop today. However, time did not stop. It just kept rolling when it should have frozen on "The End" as soon as my committee said I passed. After they said that, I asked one of the Profs, who was from the Mathematics department, if he could suggest me an advisor because I want to do a Mathematics degree. I need this to work on the physics ideas I seem to be interested in. The Mathematics degree can be the next stop.

And receding hairline or not, there is the goal to look like Hrithik in Dhoom 2 by the time I am 38. Since Santhi said that he is one person she would leave me for I had this as one of my goals. Maybe, I will have time to work on that this summer. I am looking forward to the journeys. Also I will have a lot more time to interact with people on iland.

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The above was unedited and a first draft. Just written as it came out as soon as I found some time in front of my computer after my defense :) I am sorry for not making an attempt to make it really interesting.

Posted in Personal.

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By Sarath Chandra – April 24, 2009


The why, what and how of Societies

The fundamental reason why we form societies is because it aids in survival. This is why we kick and scream about happenings around us, but never leave societies though there are enough wildernesses about us. And because in our hearts we all know the unaltered nature is no match to aid in our survival when compared to the engineered one. However, this is so fundamental that we no longer even recognize this reason. The purposes we assigned to society now include food, roof, clothes, jobs, happiness and what not.

Now to achieve these purposes we set rules for each individual to live by; this is the what. These are framed based on one of the following three guiding principles,

1)      Each individual can choose his own actions

2)      An individual will be dictated his actions based on what is good for society

3)      An individual will be dictated his actions based on god's diktats

An un-stated assumption here is that the process (what) cannot contradict the purpose (why). Loosely, these are capitalism, communism, and theocracy. Commonly, societies have varying degrees of mixes of these. However, all societies have to choose what the highest priority among these principles is, and most rules are framed around that choice.

Now how do we go about applying these principles? We usually assign this responsibility to a group of persons or an individual. This group is based on,

1)      Majority vote of individuals in the society

2)      Handing over the responsibility based on genetic lineage

3)      The strongest person assuming the responsibility

Loosely, these are democracy, dynastic rule, and dictatorship. The responsible group will then either protect the individual's rights, or decide what the individual has to do for the welfare of the society, or interpret god's words and ensure that individuals follow these.

India, I think, is evenly split between these. We are often more clear of what we don't want than what we do. A third hates capitalism, which is a carry over of our disapproval of the British and what we term mankind's greed. A third hate communism, associated to the fall of the Soviet Union. And a third hate theocracy, associated to caste atrocities and the Islamic world. The last two result from an apparent high correlation with dictatorships.

Similarly, a third of us hate dictatorships (many wish for a benevolent dictator), a third hate democracy, termed tyranny of the majority and a third hate dynastic rule (the success of 2nd/3rd generations in film and political worlds proves the spread of the opposite view).

All of us make choices, by commission or omission. All contribute to the realization of our reality; there is no point whining when faced with the consequences of our choices.

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It is possible that I may have overlooked something. Ice Candy had similar categorization in his “Innate Corruption” post. When I read that, I decided that I had to rush this blog, but was lazy :)

My featuring on the rediff homepage netted me over 10000 hits, of which over 3000 were unique, on a single day. Just, FYI :)

BTW, this is my 50th post, if you don’t count my INDEX. I actually had a different post in mind for my half century. But the occassion for that is a month away :)

Posted in Contemporary.

10 comments

By Sarath Chandra – March 26, 2009


Crimes and Intellectual Leadership

A group of intellectuals were sitting peacefully in a building. One day somebody shot at them through a window, killing one of them, and wounding a few others. After admitting the wounded to the hospital, an emergency meeting was called. The meeting had representatives from the intellectuals and the building's security personnel.

The security started the proceedings with, "We apologize for the lapse in security. We are conducting an internal enquiry and we will take action against those individuals that are responsible for this. Now, we have a very important task. Catch the shooter. So, I'd like to ask all of you some questions. Is that ok?"

An intellectual was very angry. He said, "We should fire all you guys. If you cannot do such a simple job, then all of you must be held responsible".

"I understand your anger. But the guy who shot at you may not have gone very far. If we get a description, we can start taking some steps"

"You were not able to protect us in the first place. We lost all confidence in you. Let us direct the enquiry such that no such attacks take place in the future". As the security guy sat down in resignation, the intellectual continued. "We will catalog all possible reasons for these attacks. Our goal is these attacks should never happen ever again anywhere. Now let's hear from our members on how to go about it"

A member started, "Poverty and hunger are the root causes of all such attacks. When the youth have those problems they are easily misguided into picking up arms." Everybody was impressed. A member made a note of his reason. Another member started,

"We should go after all arms manufacturers and suppliers, and close their factories." The members nodded appreciating this member's insight. Another member got up brightly,

"We should stop pollution and global warming. These things cause mental instability because they are unnatural, and result in people doing mad things". The audience gasped at this member's far reaching vision. Another member said,

"We should stop mining for any metals as the shooting happened because he had access to metals." "We should enquire into the shooter's past and punish if his parents, teachers, or anybody who ill-treated him. Because it is such actions that finally result in a man behaving like that. The shooter is in fact a victim. We should be sympathetic to him. Not hate him" "We should stop humans from using their brains. That is root cause"

The members were spellbound. The discussion was of the highest order; they recorded the reasons confident its' publication will be a critically acclaimed definitive study on crimes. A few miles away the shooter was driving away with a friend. He asked, "Do you want a drink?" His friend asked, "How do you do it so coolly?" He said, "These are easy targets. They always blame each other, self, society or a third party. Actually, they make better reasons for my actions than I can ever dream of. Intellectuals, by definition, dislike simplicity. I am a very low priority. By the time they think of me I am out of this place."

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Some people set aside their internal differences when facing crises and unite; sadly, India does not seem to be one of them. I think, whenever a problem occurs, each of law enforcement, judiciary, political class, media, and the public find a way to blame the other four, and a lot of other far fetched factors than dealing with the problems in a simpler and direct manner. But then, what would I know? I never classified myself as an intellectual :)

Posted in Contemporary.

23 comments

By Sarath Chandra – March 12, 2009


A Genius, a Lover, and a Mystery Thriller

I had always been a genius J

And I always wanted to grow into a tall and strong man. So when people told me that I had to eat well to be healthy, I theorized how it works. The food would go in and become my muscle mass, increase my height and other dimensions by stretching my body. So I decided I had to retain the food in my body and not let it go out. You see my drift here

So I wouldn't go for as long as I could hold it in; and of course, the state of the toilets in the hostels also motivated me to this end. It was a constant struggle for many days and weeks. The more people teased me that I was a skeleton, the more determined I was to hold it in, unless I definitely had to go. It took me time to finally give up on this struggle; not because I figured out how food becomes muscle. That would not happen till very late in school. I stopped because it was too tough. I always told myself that god wants us to work hard if we want good things to happen to us, and that that struggle was part of it.

Needless to say, I never grew into a tall and strong man. But I am starting to develop some mass on my stomach, at last. Maybe, the work I put in then, is paying off J

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I told her, "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in the world. After I grow up I will marry you". The girl blushed slightly, and went into the class room.

I don't know about other guys. But since I started to think I never could look at an unmarried girl and not ask myself, "Would I want to marry this girl?" I always wanted to fall in love and I thought I did at least some 15-20 times in my life. Of course, when I saw the next girl I "realized" what "true love" is, and realized that I was not in love with the previous girl. Of course, most of these girls were ignorant of my love, or maybe even that I existed. I proposed twice in my life. The first one in my 3rd class is described above. The second one was shot down. But I can be happy at least one of my proposals wasn't shot down J However, my story did not go like the Telugu movies where people who fall in love as babies in their Mom's laps find each other after they grow up. Unless Santhi happens to have a flashback she did not tell me. Her name should be Sailaja, then.

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I was afraid of the dark and, maybe as I am now, lazy too. It used to be a daily routine that I used to wet my bed. And it used to be a daily routine that the staff scolded me. One day I thought enough was enough and I will put an end to this problem. That night when I had to pee, I rolled over to the side of my bed, and peed on my neighboring kid's bed. Content that I am saved for the day and it is his turn to get the scolding, I slept peacefully.

I still can't figure out how the staff knew. But he still scolded me for wetting that guy's bed on the next day, without even a little doubt. How could he ever know? It's one of the biggest mysteries of my life. And I will probably never be able to crack it.

Of course, my fears did not disappear in time. Recently, after watching "Chandramukhi", Santhi left to kitchen to cook. Suddenly Jyothika's face sprang up in front of me. I asked Santhi, as nonchalantly as I could, to cut vegetables in front of me. She figured out why easily and she mentions it whenever we meet people. At least, she can't do that to you.

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Thanks for reading this, if you reached till here :)

Posted in Personal.

31 comments

By Sarath Chandra – February 27, 2009


God's Justice

One day I and God were talking.

 

I: Why is there so much injustice in the world?

 

God: There is no injustice in the world.

 

I: That is a ridiculous claim. We have regular rapes, murders, and muggings. What have the victims done to deserve this?

 

God: Have you heard of the Hindu Karma theory? Rebirth and all that!!!

 

I: Wait. Are you trying to bail out justifying this suffering by previous birth actions?

 

God: Whatever you call it, Mate, it is true. Only previous births are not unknown to you. Your parents are your immediate previous births and grand parents are the ones before. You inherit a world that is a result of actions of all your previous and alternate versions.

 

I: But how is it justified that I suffer for my father's mistakes and my kids suffer for mine?

 

God: Whether you like it or not, that is how the world works. Just because you murder and forget, it doesn't mean you won't pay for it. You are basically your genes and your memories. The genetic code passes through generations, evolves, pays for its sins and reaps the fruits of its good deeds. The memories, however, get deleted periodically.

 

I: It is really difficult to be convinced by what you are saying. So you mean a kid who is killed by a dictator or a woman raped by a hoodlum deserves it?

 

God: It may seem unjust. But your previous/alternate versions' karma resulted in present.

 

I: I cannot believe I am hearing this from you. How can you justify such atrocities?

 

God: Mate, I am not justifying anything. I am just pointing out the causes and effects. It is for you to identify the connections and choose your future accordingly. If you, as a man, think that women are inferior to you, that a woman must stay at home etc, you will face consequences as a man. In addition, as your daughter, you will be treated the same way by your, I mean your kid's, husband. As a girl, you have the choice to disown the ideas of your previous self. If you don't, you deserve everything that is happening to you.

 

I: So you will not protect the innocent against the evil forces of the world?

 

God: You give me the splits, Mate. For me, there is no evil or good. Everything follows the law of causality. When a bomb blasts, for example, I am trying to tell you something. If you ignore or rationalize it, soon it will blast around you or your dear ones. The first few times I try to tell it with no deaths and failed blasts hoping you will hear. If you ignore it, I will try shouting it by 10s of deaths. Again, if you ignore it, I will try yelling it by 100s of deaths. If you don't listen to me even then, I will cry myself hoarse by 1000s of deaths. If you still don't act on the info how can you blame me for your blindness?

 

I: What about the atrocities on women?

 

God: Listen, Mate, I have told you whatever you needed. I will leave the rest for you to reason out. I recommend you do that if you don't want to wish to escape law of causality.

 

I: And that is not possible?

 

God: Yes. That is not possible.

 

I: What is the best way to correct the sins of my past and minimize my suffering?

 

God: Have you heard of sins being forgiven if you confess? That, in a way, is true. The first step to clearing out a sin is to accept and own up to it honestly. The fastest way to get on to the right path is recognizing your mistake. Most of you know this. But what you don't usually know is, own up to the mistakes you are associated with generations ago, by your previous births; your governing system, religion, family system, traditions, etc. What comes down the generations is not necessarily right. You must be willing to right the wrongs of your past. Else they only get worse, and you suffer, now and as your kids.

 

I: It is still difficult to believe that if I am killed in an accident, I had it coming.

 

God: We always go from simple to complex; remember the 2nd law of thermodynamics? The world always gets more and more chaotic. You may not be able to directly link a cause to an effect. But if you go far enough in space/time the causal links can be chained. Further, the victims deserved it does not mean you or they don't fight the wrongs. If you do that, things will keep getting worse till you fight or perish. It is a never ending cycle.

 

I: But how do I know what to fight for?

 

God: That depends on your goal. If you want happiness ' fight for that which promotes a happy life. But look for the real reasons. If you deceive yourself, the problems only get tougher in time. Sometimes you need generations to right a wrong. That is proportional to your past sins. Your present is your past karma; your future will be your present karma.

 

I: So, there is no reward for being good after my death.

 

God: You are immortal, Mate. You will keep reaping the fruits of your actions, forever.

 

I: Still, it sounds really unjust to me that you will allow kids and women to be killed. 

God: Your wishes won't change the way the world functions, Mate. You can choose not to agree to it. However, you cannot escape the effects of that action either.

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This is my most difficult post to date; difficult even for me to accept. I wrote this around the first week of June, 2008. I didn’t have the guts to post it so far.

I am still apprehensive, not because I am not convinced of it. But because the blog can be understood in ways I never intended.

I request the reader to reflect; that is preferable to a comment that makes me repeat stuff I already addressed in the post. I won’t enter long discussions or debates on this, and comments may be ignored. However, if you need a clarification or have a question, I will address my take on it.

The post is based on two other posts of mine; “I want to live forever” and “God - Identity, Purpose, and Modus Operandi” both of which can be found in the “INDEX” category on the left, under “GOD” subhead.

Posted in God.

33 comments

By Sarath Chandra – February 12, 2009