Give more than you take

Many years ago when I was a young clergyman I conducted a funeral for a man I had not known. I will never forget the day of his funeral as I stood before  a closed coffin and gave a eulogy without an audience. Although the man had lived in a country most of his life and although his two adult sons lived only a few hours away, not one person came to celebrate his life. Only the funeral director and I were in attendance. At that time, I was  only 25, but the experience had a profound effect on me. How I wondered, could a person live so long and touch so few people ?

Later on as I learned more about the man's life, I realized that he had lived a life focused almost entirely on his own needs. For most of his later years he had been extremely bitter, and whatever light he had brought into the world had died with him. His funeral was a symbol of his life; as he lived so he died.

My own grandfather's funeral was an entirely different experience. When the day came for this funeral, the family was surprised at how many people were in attendance. He had been a quiet man, and yet scores of strangers came up to my mother to tell her what a difference my grandfather had made in their lives. The funeral director apologized for holding the visiting hours in a room "too small for the life of my grandfather had obviously lived. At the funeral home, one man told my mother that one day five years ago he was standing outside a dress shop looking at an Easter dress for his daughter, a dress that we could not afford. My grandfather passed by the shop  and after a brief conversation insisted on buying it, even though he had little money and said "pay me back when you can". Score of people had gathered not because of what my grandfather had taken from the world but because of what he had given.