The last couple of weeks have been stressful as I have been at my argumentative and judgmental best in my behavior with people at work and at home( I'm not proud of this). I have said a lot of things in the heat of the moment and oftentimes been misunderstood though I did not have any genuine mal-intent.

By nature every moment of our lives are filled with judgement. I think there is ultimately neither good nor bad about any event/transaction - there is only our perception of the event at that moment.

With the passage of time a little bit of reflection I have become more self-aware  and have realized that I need to stop passing judgements for each incident/event/transaction. The moot point is not about " Whether  you were right " but rather "Was it worth arguing for ?"

What I have learned from this experience is that people don't like to be criticized or shunned. The only sure thing that comes out of passing judgement on people's effort is that they won't help us again.

We need to cultivate an attitude much like the way a medical doctor functions?if you walk into the examining room with a broken hand, the doctor doesn't pass judgment on how you broke your hand.  He only cares about fixing it.

You need to extend that same attitude?the doctor's mission-neutral purpose?to people trying to help you.  No matter what you privately think of any helpful suggestion, keep your thoughts to yourself, hear the person out, and say, "Thank you."

Try this with every idea/input that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality.   Don't take sides or express an opinion; don't judge the comment.  Just reply, "Thank you for give me something new to consider."

After couple of weeks, hopefully we will have significantly reduced the number of pointless arguments you engage in at work or at home.  When you stop making passing judgement, no one can argue with you;)

Classic Narayan Murthy's Email to his employees

It’s half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on…
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing…
And who’s at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look…

All or most specimens are ??
Something male species of the human race…

Look closer… again all or most of them are bachelors…

And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let’s ask one of them…
Here’s what he says… “What’s there 2 do after going home…Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late…Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!”

This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.

Bachelors “Time-passing” during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they’ve nothing else to do…
Now what r the consequences…

“Working” (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.

With bosses more than eager to provide support to those “working” late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he’s a hard worker… goes home only to change..!!).
They aren’t helping things too…

To hell with bosses who don’t understand the difference between “sitting” late and “working” late!!!

Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.

So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family… office is no longer a priority, family is… and
That’s when the problem starts… b’coz u start having commitments at home too.

For your boss, the earlier “hardworking” guy suddenly seems to become a “early leaver” even if u leave an hour after regular time… after doing the same amount of work.

People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labelled as work-shirkers…

Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays… though) leave on time are labelled as “not up to it”. All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on “working” not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.

So what’s the moral of the story??
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time ” unless really needed ”
* Don’t stay back unnecessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.

There are hundred other things to do in the evening..

Learn music…

Learn a foreign language…

Try a sport… TT, cricket………

Importantly,get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town…

* And for heaven’s sake, net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.

Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *”Life’s calling, where are you??”*

Please pass on this message to all those colleagues and please do it before leaving time, don’t stay back till midnight to forward this!!!

IT’S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.

PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON’T KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

Let me know what you think ?

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.  He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

This is brilliant…Enjoyed sharing this with my friends ..hope you enjoy it too!

The stories we tell ourselves daily affect our quality of life. Play close attention to these stories  ' question them to see if you feel like a victim and someone else is a villain. These stories can unleash of chain of thoughts that cause serious harm to your mental balance.

Have made a list of such stories that run my mind everyday

- This individual (customer) has a way to get the worst out of us. Knows how to crib and complain and given a choice will want us to move email inside their office in the name of customer service

- My peers don't experience the same quantum of pressure like my team does

- Competition seems to win deals against us on price not value

- My subordinates goof up and expect me to clean the mess

- My children are not as smart as that of my neighbor's children ..and my wife has to remind me of that everyday

- I work out so hard in the gym and get into the office to have someone notice additional weight in my girth ' feel like boxing that person;)

When we are going through such a cycle of thought it's important to step back and examine the stories we tell ourselves. The likelihood of changing the behavior of others is slim to none. The possibility of changing our expectations from others and our stories is vast.

The stories we tell ourselves has great power over us - depending on how they are told, our stories can either enlighten or mislead, inspire or discourage. Good luck on your story telling!

In today’s anxiety-saturated world -  Most people don’t like feeling fear especially around relationships, job, health etc and attempt  to start consciously choosing to ignore fear, to talk yourself out of it

When you encounter a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable/insecure/scared/uncertain and instead of heading for the metaphorical exit door, you stay strong and do the thing you know you should do. First, you realize that the fear was mostly a hallucination. And second, you get some kind of an unexpected reward for your bravery. I’ve seen it time and time again. It’s a law of life I guess.

So run to fear. Start small. Slow and steady wins the race: your life will expand or contract in direct relationship to your willingness to walk directly towards the things that you fear. Moving towards fear in your daily life means doing that which you hate/detest/fear/loathe/don’t want to do, and doing that thing first, before all else.

Do your fears and you play big. Run from them and you shrink from greatness.

The objective of this post was to highlight how to use fear to your advantage and benefits of being scared ' let me know what you think

We are moving from an information age to innovation age. Knowledge and information has become a commodity, whose value is going down with time. In this new age the value of creativity is going up and application and monetization of knowledge is becoming key. Every country, business and individuals are being forced to think differently in this fast paced networked world. The purpose of this post is debate how valuable it is to think in new ways - and how difficult this is to accomplish?

Ask yourself , “Where do you get great ideas?" the funny thing is no one answers “at work”. Instead they say their best ideas happen in the shower, during a drive, when they are training or learning, listening to music, when they are alone, relaxed or outside in a park or natural environment.

Most of the answers involve recreation and in today's fast paced environment we get very little time to think and innovate. Where will the big idea's come from - when all work alike and think alike -  no thinks very much;(

Google is one 21^st century company which  get this and employees are encouraged to take time off to think differently and innovate. This in my mind is a prelude to why business creativity will become even more important in the future.

Most things are yet undone, we have a glorious future. There is higher value in doing things different, which means that we have to get better at creativity and innovation.

Its easy to state that we need to be more creative ' the difficult part is that we have not been taught to be creative. How do we go about training ourselves to be more creative and innovative to evolve different kinds of ideas.

Looking for inputs/comments "on how to"  become more creative and “whether” its a requirement in the age of innovation?

Surely much of what makes life worth living comes down to our feelings of well being ' our happiness and sense of fulfillment. Good quality relationships are the strongest source of such feelings.

Good relationships nourish us and support our health. While toxic relationships can poison us. And our success and happiness on the job, in our marriage and families, even our ability to live in peace depend crucially on our quality of relationships.

To live more richly we need to get better in building and nurturing relationships ' in ourselves &  in others?  Expand our ability to look beyond our narrow self-interest to the best interest of others. Learn to deal better with those who lack this capability?

In the workplace, the best leaders build strong social networks and rich communities of teammates, suppliers and customers that help them get to where they’re going (while they, in turn, reciprocate)

Life is indeed about relationships. Find ways to connect. With the people you work with. With the loved ones you live with. And with the strangers you share this journey called  life with.  

You’ll not only attract more professional success. You’ll feel more personally significant.

Let me know your thoughts on the importance of relationships and how we can get better at building them ?