Rahul Writes

Personal V2

A success story

Early 2007 I was to leave for Pune next morning to appear for one group discussion and personal interview (GD/PI) of a B-school. Father called up to tell sad news. One of my cousins had been detected with advanced stage of blood cancer and she was to come to Mumbai along with her parents. Father asked me not to take tension and to meet them once I returned back.

The next morning, throughout the way to Pune, I received several calls from one uncle. "The family will be devastated. Her old grandfather won't be able to survive. This is very sad. One family will be destroyed. She is so nice. Why this happened with us?…" That day, I should have known how to cut a phone call. Throughout the GD, she was in my mind. I did very well but was not selected. (Now this is another interesting story :). Now I know how to end a phone call midway

I returned and went to meet them. Her mother started crying. At that time, I didn't believe that it was really that disease. I consoled them that since the test was not done by the time, we should remain positive; may be this was nothing that serious

This was not to be true. But this was not to be false also  

Her condition was bad. Blood cells were destroyed to a large extent. The first day I went there, I gave one unit of blood. Now tough times started  

She is such a cheerful girl! She was neither depressed nor sad throughout. What went inside her, I don't know; but nothing showed on her face. She asked her parents to go back to their home, as she didn't like the hospital. She cared to show her regards to me and to anyone who went there to meet her. When we used to leave, she gave a beautiful smile. Being a medical student herself, she would know what was happening around. A very positive girl throughout I still feel proud of her and am fortunate that I saw her winning

Her family? If I had an iota of doubt if some parents don't love their daughters enough, it vanished then. They were ready to do anything to save her, stayed months taking care of each and every minute detail, didn't care about themselves as they kept loosing weight and anyone who saw them would know what went inside They loved her so much; may be this was also victory of love over fate

Mumbai! I sent an email to my office asking willing people to donate blood. More than a dozen of them went with me there throughout the treatment period. One of my friends had donated his blood more than half a dozen times before. Two of my colleagues had to go to the hospital three times in order to successfully donate. My boss not only allowed me to go there in office hours, he also allowed all our colleagues to go there too, in office hours. Colleagues kept enquiring how the treatment was going on. And God helps them who help others. One of them got to know that he was suffering from high blood pressure when he was not allowed to donate blood; he started undergoing treatment from the next day. One of them couldn't donate because he had blood clots in his body and he too started his treatment. This man was so disappointed that he couldn't help, that he got many of his friends to drop in and donate. One of his female friends called me up and said she wanted to donate blood but her exams were going on. The very day her exams got over, she went there and made the donation. Anonymous people reached there and donated their blood for us without any personal contacts. This is Mumbai ' its heart is soooo large (And yes, my colleague who had donated many times is originally from Rajasthan, my boss was a Tamil and this colleague and his female friend were Maharastrians. This is mentioned here because Mumbai, like mother, has no particular caste, gender, religion or race.)

I was in touch with her and the family almost throughout. I went to meet them on many weekends. I tried to help in every possible way. I also took several of their pictures from my camera that I had purchased during those days. Those were beautiful days

The treatment involves chemo-therapy. Doctors can't say for sure how the body will react. Luckily, hers reacted so positively that she went better after each stage. But she became weak and some times felt irritated. She wanted to go back home and study for her exams. She had lost hair and her father brought her a beautiful wig. Her condition was getting better day by day and we thanked God every moment.

It was now clear that she would be completely fine. One tea break in my office, I told this to my colleagues. They were very happy. But one female colleague started crying. One of her relatives was in her last stage from the same disease and she thought her family members had not taken enough care of her to get her treated It was sad. But I felt very bad. When we share something good, we will invite two responses: some will feel good about our good luck, and some will feel bad that they were not similarly lucky. The second approach is very negative! But I knew that her personal experience made her cry

End of the difficult months, and they were to happily return back to the home. I was with them till the train departed. We took one picture inside the train also Everyone smiled

Life is harsh, and we can't control it the way we want. All that we have to do is to remain positive and try our best. They did and they succeeded.

She won ' for all of us.

PS: When all this happened, I was on the iLand. I hadn't shared this so far because I was not comfortable with it. Also, there was a possibility that I would exaggerate my own role in all this. I am sharing this now because this story has so many positive messages

PersonalV2

For Sister

I was around 9 or 10 and my younger sister had recently joined my school. Every Republic Day, a Fun Fair was organised in our school where we used to buy and sell many things. At that time, we didn't get any pocket money, because parents provided us with anything we wanted. But they didn't want us to read comics and hence we had to read them at friends' place.

For Fun Fair, we got fifteen rupees each. And for our baby sister, I had got Rs 5 to get her what she wanted.

Very strategically, I had spent all my Rs 15 in buying comic-books and spent the day enjoying the fair without purchasing anything else. I hadn't spent her Rs 5 yet.

Around 3 O' clock, I saw her. She was running and playing very near to a guy selling balloon. In between, she used to look at the balloons, but she didn't ask for them and neither did she tell me that she wanted those. I felt sooooooo bad.

I went to her and asked if she wanted balloons. She happily said yes I bought her one and she started playing with it

Even now, when I remember this incident, tears come to my eyes…

Ask me…

Price of a balloon :)

P.S.: Happy Singh is Kinng: Must Watch, 10/10

Personal V2

Seven days in Lucknow

Crisis Time

There are some events which if don't shape us then at least frame some part of what we are. This is one of those. It happened three years back

I was posted in Raipur at that time and always longed to go visit my home. I was also preparing to prepare :) for MBA entrance exams and hence had enough excuses not to make frequent visits there. Then arrived an uncalled phone call Father called up and informed that mother was not well. I caught the next evening's train  

Some months back she had suffered from swollen wrists and was uncomfortable picking up weights. Parents were visiting Delhi and hence went to consult the Apollo Hospital. The doctor identified the case as carpus tunnel syndrome and recommended an operation. Mother asked if medicines would work. He gave some medicines and one pain killer ' without explaining any side effects of those. One month later, when she again called up, he asked her to continue those for some more time, until she made up her mind to get operated. This prolonged use of that pain-killer turned out to be bad (we came to know a long time afterwards). Blood generation had stopped in her body and she didn't notice it. Consequently Haemoglobin went to a level which was dangerous to life. And one day, she fainted. (Parents lived alone, as we children were out for studies and work)

Father took her to the nearest big city where the doctor asked to get some blood infused to her and then take her to Delhi as they were not able to determine what the cause of the illness was. It was indeed a bad time and even with such a large family, they couldn't get blood immediately. Father at around 55 had to give a unit of his own. The day I arrived, I gave one unit of mine and she was better now  

At that time, the SBI branch in our hometown had distributed ATM cards and I went back to collect it ' as it would prove to be helpful while away. Mother told me not to take anything to eat in the train. I had started in the morning without taking proper breakfast and as mother had asked me not to take anything, I didn't eat on my way too. I reached the bank, finished job and by the time I reached home, it was 3 pm. By this time, I was getting my head spinning and slight loss of vision! I phoned father and told him there was some problem and I was not well :) He asked me if I had eaten something. Nothing! Why? Mother told so! :) So given that I had donated blood sometime back and had to hassles in travel, I was about to be in a problem. I had taken her words literally (And this is the original Rahul :)

Anyways, we went to Sanjay Gandhi PGIMS, Lucknow, because we knew the hospital was good, we had contacts in the city and she was not able to travel for long distances. This was my second visit to Lucknow; I told you how last time it had left me a scar. This time, it was in payback mode. The hospital was a heaven for us and their young doctors our angels. After inspection, the doctors (young interns used to work in consultation with their seniors) found what the problem was ' the side reaction of the pain-killer. They just stopped all medicine and kept a watch if the blood level rises. In 3 days, it continuously rose, declaring how we had messed up with a small problem. Some times, a small naïve medicine is enough to create fatal consequences, if it is not taken in the right amount, at the right time. We got discharged in a couple of more days.

When we had arrived, we had no idea how serious the complication was. She was very weak and we all were worried. The hospital allowed one family member to be present with the patient during the night. But they didn't provide any bed and one had to do with by spreading a bed sheet on the floor. So far, I had never slept on the floor and was feeling bad about it. First night, when I went to sleep on the floor near to mom's bed, tears came to my eyes. There was no option given the circumstances and it was hard for me. But from the next day, I started enjoying it ' that I was allowed to remain by the side of my mom ' was a thing for which I could do anything  

And then there were some lighter moments too. It was the time when some of my hair had turned grey and mother had advised me to apply green mehandi powder. So, I used to apply that every 2 weeks to turn them into red :) As you know, the young converts practice it so hard. There one day, amid all the trouble, I applied mehandi on my head! Even today, I remember it and laugh :) In between all the problems and tensions, in the hospital at a far away place, Rahul is sitting with his head covered in mehandi paste! :)

And this was the time when I went to 'see' IIM Lucknow. People were entering the institute for submitting the CAT form, but I wouldn't tell a lie. The security personnel asked me the purpose of my visit. I said, "I want to 'see' IIM Lucknow" :) He laughed at me aloud, but allowed me to have a walk. This remains one small adventure of mine :)

I also went to meet my old teachers from my coaching institute TriVaAg, and but I could meet only the chemistry teacher ' the subject which I liked least. And the irony: My favourite teacher was of Maths and I was always inspired by him. When I asked the person at the institute reception if I could talk to him on phone if not meet him this time, he called him up and informed that an old student wanted to talk to him. To my surprise, my teacher said that he didn't want to talk! I felt bad, but given the circumstances I could understand that it happens some times I came back after talking to the other old admin staffs.

The hospital was multi-storied and two out of four elevators were reserved for doctors. There would be a crowd waiting to get in every time. The capacity of the elevator allowed only 10 people at a time but most often, 15 would go in and no one would volunteer to get out. Once I was stuck up in such a situation and became annoyed when the latecomers didn't volunteer to get out. I threatened them to call the security, but the shameless people won't move. I went out, reached the reception desk, and told them the matter. They said it was one area of concern for them but they were not able to find way to handle it. I said at least they could depute one security personnel there, to manage a queue. Then I asked for a complaints register and there I got it ' a fresh new register branded "Complaints". I was the first one to make an entry! And worse, when I came back to the elevator, my acquaintance remarked, "If you continue to fight the system in this manner, you will be left behind " Anyways, we just can't watch things go haywire…  

This was the time when I realised it hard way that many a times, our far away friends help us more than the close ones and relatives. This was also a time when I managed a crisis mainly on my own. Before this, I had largely remained in the care of parents, but this time, my individual leadership skills were tested. It was a crisis time and my hands didn't shake at any moment. The fact that my mother was ill because of neglect and lack of care, made me very protective of her and other family members for ever Actually, she was the survivor, but in a way I was a survivor too. I know how much I grew up in those seven days

Personal V2

Riding Motorcycle!

Father taught me riding motorbike when I was passing out of the high school. And I learnt that comfortably. But the problem came when I had to make someone sit as the pillion driver. I was not able to balance it. And then I did something brave and stupid…

I made my younger sister sit on the backseat and I took her for a ride. A turning came and I turned the bike at the same speed, without slowing down ' a mistake that beginner riders do very often. And of course when I tried to put breaks, the steering was pressed and the bike ran towards a wall at great speed Thank God, I was able to stop it before 2 meters from the wall. People came to see us, but by this time, learned and ashamed of my riskiness, I was driving away slowly and safely I feel guilty even this day, for putting my sister at risk.

When I went to get my licence, I created another history. There was a guy who was to take me to meet the official who would grant me licence. I made him sit on the back seat. And just when we were to reach the Court, I rammed into a bicycle! Nice way to get a licence?

After this, I didn't allow anyone to sit on the pillion seat. But I had to, one day. I was riding when someone stopped me in urgency. He said that he had got a nature's call and wanted me to drop him to the nearest Sulabh Sauchalay ASAP. Now, I didn't have time to explain my stories to him. So, here I go, carrying a nature's gift to the toilet. Thank God, we reached there safely. He thanked me. I smiled. :) :)

Later on when I was posted in a plant, we used to give lifts to anyone on the road: since it was very hot summer in Chhattisgarh. And here, after giving lifts to the innocent people, I perfected my driving skills and became comfortable riding it with someone on the pillion seat.

You don't need to worry when I offer you next time :)

Personal V2

Run boy ' run!

I grew up as a studious boy who would avoid girls. And what a better example than this:

While in +2, I used to go for Chemistry tuitions. I noticed that there were two girls in the class; and of course I didn't see their faces. I used to go there on my red bicycle, attended the class, and came back ' on the same road ' every day and every evening. I had heard one of the girls speaking in the class and was surprised when I heard the same voice in my home after 3-4 months. I didn't take interest and again some months passed. Then I heard the same voice at home. This time I saw who she was. Ok, they were our family friends. Normally her mother used to come alone, now the girl was also coming for the last 2 times. Again 2-3 months passed.

One day, as soon as I entered the class room ' all of a sudden I saw the two girls.

One of the girls was the same one who had come to our home! My God! And other one was my childhood friend; we had studied together while in classes II and III. And for all these 6 months, I never noticed them! I wondered what they thought about me Arrogant? Book-worm? Or a boy? :)

Another memory ' she also used to come home on her bicycle ' and when I saw her approaching my bicycle ' I used to speed up! Hahaha :) So, we never talked

This time when I went home, I attended her wedding function

PS: Don't laugh; I am not like this any more :)

Personal V2

My affairs with

I told you once how I had a crush on a little kid's dhoti. Today, I will tell you about my own affairs with the great Indian Dhotis :)

***

First time in my active memory when I wore one was when my Upnayan / sacred thread ceremony was done. We were half a dozen cousins and the ceremony was held in our ancestral village. My grandfather had arranged everything and I have some very nice memories of the days spent there.

Every child at the age of 10-12 doesn't think him any less than a superhero. It was also the age, when I had just moved ahead of Rahul the male Chauvinist stage. But I was of course a superhero. And then, something happened.

Wearing a dhoti was not easy, and for some time in the ceremony we had to put only one langot and nothing else. When I was finding problems fixing it, one of the Pundit ji put his hand inside my towel and fixed it! What!!! How can someone put his hand inside my towel, to touch the inner garment! All my cousins laughed! And I blushed :) For many years from that day, whenever I remembered that incident, I felt angry at him! Have you seen some Superman getting his inner garment fixed by some tailor or someone? They are not supposed to!

Superman at 12!

***

In my high school, we had a tradition. The student who stood first in all 4 sections of class 9^th would sit on the main Saraswati puja which was held in the premises. All teachers, head master, students and parents came to attend that and it was considered very fortunate to sit and take part in the puja. (If you remembered my past, this high school was only for boys, so :) Ok, so I topped all four sections of class 9^th that year and was asked to take part in the puja.

It was raining very heavily that morning. I had to reach there by 11 I think. Father had gone to his office. I had a red bicycle (about which I have already written). I had to wear a dhoti kurta for the puja and I didn't want to change clothes in a school! Because who would make me wear one dhoti there? What if someone again puts his hand inside? Kidding :)

So mother helped me wear one. And all in the rain, I started for school on my bicycle, wearing dhoti kurta and holding one umbrella in one hand. Nothing like that I had done before and would get to do afterwards, but I was very confident of what I was doing. It was raining very hard with strong wind and I had to stop to take shelter in front of a closed shop. There, two gentlemen saw me, and one said to the other in Bhojpurii: "See, how cute little pundit ji is this. Ask him if he would perform puja at my home." I could hear that!!!! Again blushing? :)

***

These two incidents have been part of my growing up. Today, I share these with you. When they happened, they made me blush every time I remembered them. Now, I can laugh :)

Picture: Krishna in a yellow dhoti, doing the superhero thing

Personal V2

Memories

The Jain Muni

I studied in Intermediate (+2) then. In those days there were no platforms like blogs where you could share your views. I had developed a hobby of sending letter to newspaper editors and also got published quite regularly. I even gave full postal address in the letters which got published as such.

Once, I had sent a long letter about the authorities in Calcutta who had put wild animals and birds in road-side cages in order to beautify the city. The title of the letter was, "George Bernard Shaw and Roads in Calcutta". (The letter and its title both were in Hindi). When someone asked GB Shaw why didn't he keep beautiful flowers in his drawing room, he replied, "I love my kids so much. Does that mean that I shall cut and keep their heads on display on my wall?" for me, this was a great example of non-violence and care about nature

I received a letter in my name. I had got some letters of praise in the past also, and had replied back to some of them. This was from someone whose name read "Muni J .. V ". He appreciated my letter and I don't remember other particulars now. I replied back, saying: "Priya Muni Ji". We kept on exchanging letters. He told me about his work on non-violence, his religion, his views on things and many more things. And then I realized that I was communicating to a real Jain Muni (Saint) and not to someone whose first name was Muni :)

He sent me many books and literature, asking me to read them and then gift them to others. He was a Gujarati and most of the books were published and circulated by donations from Gujaratis. I liked the books. They were full of moral values. And a lot on abstainism from alcohol, non-violence, vegetarianism, social work, help for animals and trees and many things like these. He used to ask me my views on things and I used to reply back. And then I used to wait for his fresh mails. He used to write messages even on the empty spaces of envelopes and used to make envelops by turning the old envelope's paper inside out. I too learnt this process and started recycling old envelopes. This was to conserve paper. But after some months, I got to feel something different.

Now, he talked about his sanyas, and how young people like me had taken sanyas and had grown so much spiritually. I was not comfortable with things like sanyas. At that time I used to sleep alone in a room because I used to study late night. And one night while I was trying to fell asleep, I got a feeling as if the Muni was also in the room at one corner. It was dark. I got very scared. I closed my eyes for a while. Then I got up and switched on the light. Of course it was my imagination only. But I realized that I couldn't allow things to go like that.

Days passed. It was the morning of Rakshabandhan (Rakee). I and my mother were in the kitchen, while no one else was in the house. Suddenly someone knocked at the door. From nowhere, I got to remember the Muni I went to the door and found a gentleman there. He was a Jain trader in our town, and had gone to some Jain pilgrim some days back. In those days, the Muni used to give me some addresses and used to ask me to write to them and ask them their literature on non-violence and gift those to people around me. I used to do that many times. This time, the gentleman had met one society to whom I had written. And they had asked him to hand over the books to me in person, since I was from his hometown. Also, he had a message for me from the head of the society: "You are young. Study, learn and get to earn a lot. By money, we can make a lot of difference by helping the needy, be it cows or the poor people " I got the message. When I came back to the kitchen to tell my mother, she asked me to offer him some sweets. He declined, but ultimately accepted. When I came back finally and told my mother what had happened, what she said was weird, "When the knock came at the door, I got the feeling that the Jain Muni had come " So both I and mother had got the same feeling just by hearing the knock at the door. And we were neither talking about him at the moment, nor he was the topic of our discussions those days. 

I kept communicating with the Muni through letters. During some part of the year, he had to walk and visit many places all on his own. Once he had come to Patna also. Once he offered me some money which I could keep with me and use that to help any poor person, any injured animal, or to any work which helped others. Because it was about money, I had said no. Now, the words in his messages were giving me a clear message: he wanted me to join him on his path. I imagined :) how it would be if I leave the world and went with him. He used to study a lot of religious literature and it appeared that one could learn everything about life by reading, practicing and experiencing. But I was not comfortable with the idea. I had talked to my mother about all this many times so she knew everything. And then I wrote a letter to him, saying my exams were near and that I had to appear for IIT JEE and won't be able to continue replying and communicating. After that also I got some more letters from, which stopped after some time.

Once he had introduced me to another young guy in Palitana, Gujarat and we had become pen-friends. I used to get his letters and replied for some times. And then we got disconnected.

Sometime in my life, I will search about him again and would be happy to see him. And don't worry: I don't habe plans to take sanyas :)

Personal V2

Truth with thoda Masala

Youth for Equality is an organisation formed in the wake of 27% reservations for OBCs in institutions of higher studies. It was initially patronised by the doctors of AIIMS and now is perhaps the only active platform for the youth who believe in meritocracy and see caste based reservations as a means to divide us.

On 31^st evening, they organised a candle light vigil near KEM Hospital, Dadar to protest against the "government’s inclination to circumvent the Supreme Court’s order and to save the country from any future caste wars."

I had so far never taken part in any such protests or marches. I thought it would be a good adventure, so I went ahead for this on a Saturday evening. I was also attracted by the idea of 'Candle Light' vigil.

Guess how many people turned up? The number closest-from-behind to the first two digit number! Anyways, we talked for some time on the issue and got to know some new people. We lighted the candles, so 'candle light' happened :) It seemed they had guessed the low turnout because of IPL semi final. So they had not pursued the media. At around 8 pm, Sahara TV's team called up with a willingness to cover the event. And what did the young doctor say?

"The protest was from 7 pm and it is 8 pm now. As such we have finished our protest, but if you still want to come, we can still arrange some people whom you can talk to "

This is called truth ' with some masala.

PS: I compensated my slightly less adventurous evening by visiting the Siddhivinayak Temple :)

Personal V2

Memories

My first book

Some of you suggested that I should write a book. And some of my friends tried to convince me that can become a great writer some day. Writing books is of course one of my 'declared' dreams. But let me tell you about the first book I wrote. All in the name of my early tryst with books.

In our childhood, I and my sister competed for everything. Both of us were fond of reading books and had collected many books and regular issues of magazines like Nandan, Champak, Achchhe Bhaiya, Parag, Suman Saurabh, Chandamama, and some comics. Reading comics was considered a sin, or better an indulgence, so we had very few of those.

And then we created our separate libraries! And what great managers we were! We numbered, ok, indexed each book, using smart coding. And we maintained a register, ok, database of all the books we had. And when we saw the tall almirah standing with its back to the wall ' we dreamt of one day filling it with our books.

Then, a 'breaking news' happened: one of our friends became an entrepreneur. He commercially started a library in a small room outside his home. And from where to get so many books? He went into hiring instead of purchase policy. He invited people to rent their books to him, over which he would give them some paise every month. I think the rent of the books were 50 paise per book for 3 days. It was around 1987-88. We thought about it: but we couldn't part with our books, we loved them so much. Sad that the library didn't last long ' you know, 80% of new start-ups fail :)

So the new magazines coming to our home every month would be deposited in our libraries alternately. And we fairly divided the Russian books that our uncle had brought from USSR. He was studying MBBS there and brought so many nice books ' I remember Gulgula, Najanu chitrakaar kaise bana, Teen bhaalu and many more. Both of us were passionate about our books and it was contagious!

On every Republic Day, we had Anand Mela ' Fun Fair in our school. Children became sales-personnel and consumers both. We used to get 20 rupees each. I remember, for three consecutive years I purchased only books out of it. Once I felt very tempted to have one laddoo, don't know how I managed to eat that, but I am sure I won't have consumed my funds which were dedicated to books and books only.

So now about my first book. We thought about the idea of launching our own magazine. Don't know why sister was so lazy, because I think I was the pioneer. I created my own Champak. I created a cover page and drew a picture of a kid reading a book there, wearing a read cap. There were stories, some picture stories, some games, crosswords; it was a complete package. I got it sewed by mother and I was proud of it. The book still is in our home somewhere. Many of my childhood friends and cousins still remember that Champak as my first book. :)

Did you try something that cute in your childhood?

PS: Don't conclude that I was a book worm :) I had tried my hands on many good business ventures. Will tell you about those some day.

Video is not related to the post :) Was just learning to post one; this is the first :)

Personal V2

Memories

My one year in Lucknow

I arrived in the city of Lucknow to undergo 'coaching', which was a craze even in those days, to get into the IITs. I wanted to join FIITJEE Delhi, but since that was the first time I was moving out to live alone and I had an uncle there, so we settled for Lucknow. He convinced us that TriVaAg (Trivedi = Maths, Varma = Physics, was good enough (it produced 100 selections a year) for the high rise I aimed for. It was situated on Sapru Marg in Hazaratganj area. I put up at one Mishra ji in nearby Prem Nagar as a paying guest. He had put 5 rooms of his house on rent, all to the students taking coaching. I paid for double occupancy, to get a single room for myself.

The first week, they took a test in maths. Surprisingly, I topped it. Then there was some controversy, as most of other students had done very bad, and the teachers couldn't believe it. So they took the test again. The top 3 positions remained the same. I got a fat maths book by a foreign author as the reward, which I seldom used in the coming year. So I started with a bang.

Anyways, classes started and I kept my momentum up. Then all the students in my hostel started coming to me to ask all their problems and difficulties. It was the time when I was maintaining a personal log, I even kept account of the time I rested after my lunch ' I allowed myself 10 minutes for that.

I used to get up at 7, would go to the nearest roadside shop to buy myself a bun-makkhan or sometimes bread to take with jam ' from Rahman. Then I would read up to 12 o' clock, when the tiffin wallah ' Ram Kumar - would come. I waited for him eagerly. 15 minute for lunch, then 10 minute rest, then again studies. I used to study for about 12 hours daily ' 4 hours each for physics, chemistry and maths. I was weak in chemistry, and by chance we had got a teacher whose methodology I didn't like. And hence my chemistry remained weak for ever. I loved maths. I would normally start the day with maths, and would even intrude into Physics' slot, so normally it would be 6 hrs maths, 4 hrs physics and 2-3 hrs chemistry. When I went to bed, I would be exhausted.

That year, Tata Indica was launched and they brought a double page ad in the TOI. I put up that big picture on my wall the Big small car ' red colour Indica. Also, there was one particular poster which read: "When the mean will make the war tough and dirty " And I had put up a third picture of a very young kid with expressive eyes. These gave me inspiration to work hard. Later I bought Bill Gates' biography and would get shivers reading it.

Some times I used to read newspapers ' TOI and Dainik Jagran. One news made a huge impact to me. There was an auto wallah who made a guy on the bike angry. The young man got angry and called him 'saala'. The driver replied: Sorry Jeejaji :) This is Lucknow ki nazakat I love Lucknow.

Then Diwali came and went. I remember I was studying on the Diwali day. The guys from the next door were going to Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai ' it was released that year. They invited me to come ' and I declined. They asked if I had sworn not to see a movie in Lucknow. I started thinking if I had :) but I answered I won't come. (Later, things changed 180 degrees)

It was the time when I had become very popular in the classes because of my good performance. A guy named Himanshu from Rai Bareley was my good friend. There was a girl in the class ' she always put up very bright t-shirts (orange/baby blue types). And I didn't know what make-up did she use, she always looked very fresh. Lucknow was very hot those days, but she always looked as good at the end of the 6 hours classes, as she would when she entered. I didn't have a crush on her :), but I did looked at her some times. And then, may be she got a cue. Later on I got to know that she was Himanshu's cousin and was a local. One evening, after the classes were over, I saw Himanshu. I said him good bye and moved on, but then found myself being introduced to her. I said hi, and nothing else. Then he said could I give him my notebook to get zeroxed. While we three walked towards the zerox shop, he deliberately walked very fast, leaving me and her alone. Afterwards I realised it was cue for us to talk :) But I didn't know what to do and I still remember, I ran ahead to come parallel with him, leaving the girl behind :) When we reached the shop, she said she was going, and went off. That was that. :)

It was also the time when I became a fan of Atal Behari Bajpai. He had become the MP of Lucknow and I saw him changing the complete face of the city in one year. Earlier there were no pakka pavements even on prime roads! He did so much work in one year. And he used to visit the city many times. Once I waited by the roadside to see the dozen of cars, one in which he was inside. It was the time when BJP was in power in the state and I could see how things were moving.

And then some things changed… My uncle got his son admitted in a private engineering college there. During that year, UP government had opened many private engineering colleges to stop students from migrating to Karnataka and Maharastra colleges. He was not interested in any studies, and given the riches his father had amassed, he was a bit off-road. And since my room had one bed vacant, I found him inside my room. This was done so that he could take inspirations from me. And then problems started.

He listened to radio, kept talking throughout the day, had friends in, and all those were the distractions for me. Uncle was elder to my father, so I used to call him Bade Papa, and respected him like one. And since my cousin was also ender to me, I respected him also. And what a fool I was. During the next 6 months, I suffered as hell. I told my father many times, but he too didn't understand the gravity of the problem. I wanted to study and study, while the distractions and the noise were eating me. I still remember that day

I got fed up with everything; I was not able to study at all During that time, I used to go to the PCO of Shukla ji and even kept my talk to-the-point to avoid the escalating meter. I started for the PCO 'to tell my father that either my cousin will live there or I will study. On my way, Mishra ji's son called me and handed over to me a letter from my father. Father had written what he had always told me over phone: "Given all the facilities, anyone can study and clear exams. If you can do that under adverse conditions (means despite presence of my cousin), then only you would do something great." That was the last nail into the coffin.

During the next 3 months, I slowed down. I tried hard to focus on studies but failed day by day. Number of hours of studies became lesser and lesser. It was just the time when boys in the class were really picking up, and I was consuming myself. In the frustration of not being to study I started hating my cousin. I knew if I didn't study enough in the last months, I won't succeed. But I failed. I didn't speak up to anyone. One night I even dreamt of going to murder my uncle and my cousin. In that state, I hardly studied: I could see my dream getting shattered in front of my eyes. I cried.

And then, the other side of Lucknow became visible to me. During my first 8 months, I didn't watch even a single movie, and now I watched every new flick in the town. I became accustomed with all the theatres in the city. I visited all the historical places and Imamwadas. I was alone. At those places I would see happy families together and would feel cry inside. There was a national fest starting in Lucknow ' of natya manch (drama / plays). This was I think a week before the IIT JEE. I went there and watched a play called 'Madhyam Vyayog" (Middle son's misery). The story said the middle children in the family are the least loved. I was also the middle one among siblings and wondered if this was why my parents didn't love me?

I didn't talk to friends. I just roamed around the streets and roads of Hazaratganj. That was also the time when I read almost all the books by Prem Chand. There was a big book shop, and I would go there every some days, to pick up a new book. After I started reading his books, my movie going became less. I connected with Prem Chand very much.

Once to save time, I would go only to the nearest dhaba and took whatever food they served. Now, I would walk up to the Vidhan Sabha and had food there. And then I would walk back.

I still remember the last maths test they took ' I still stood second in the entire batch. Guys thought I was studying like hell. And hell was breaking inside me for not being able to study enough  

IIT JEE came and went off. Then Roorkee's exam passed. I knew the results. I didn't appear in the state level exams.

I returned back to my hometown. And then I told them how I got fed up with my cousin's presence and had given up studying. My father got very angry with me on hearing this and started hating me. Mother also didn't support me enough. Those were the most difficult days of my life

Next year, I appeared for the state level exam to get into Regional Engineering Colleges. I easily passed. If I had appeared the last year, perhaps despite my hapless studies I would have still passed it. But high dreams bring high risks, and I had become a victim of my ambitions.

Last year, seven years after my stay in Lucknow, I went to Kanpur to appear in IIT Kanpur's interview for MBA. I came down to Lucknow, and walked all the old lanes. I visited my house owner, her son had grown up by this time. I also met the bun-makkhan wallah ' his son whom he used to beat up mercilessly after drinking ' was now driving auto rickshaws. I went to meet my teachers, but was able to meet only one of them ' the Chemistry teacher :) He couldn't recall me, but felt very happy to know about me and my job. I went to the old doodh-wallah in Narahi near Hazaratganj where I used to take one glass full milk everyday. Now milk was six rupees a glass. I didn't have change, so he asked me to give it afterwards. I wasn't sure when would I return. So I went to the newspaper wallah and got the change to return him the one rupee. My Lucknow had not changed a bit  

If I recall all my difficult days I know given the age and the time, a boy of my age could easily have strayed off But even in frustration, I chose to read Prem Chand and visited historical places. I didn't talk about my difficulties to any colleague, and in a way remained out of their loop; I knew one guy in our hostel who used to drink in his room every night. Even in my frustrations I didn't do anything which could make me ashamed afterwards

The reason which made me suffer so much was trivial. A proper understanding by my parents could have saved my studies. And their little empathy towards me could have helped me avoid all the misery. During teen age, I feel there are greatest chances for differences to emerge between parents and children. I was lucky that I got to mend all the broken pieces, but not everyone is. Juvenile crime happens because of lack of parental understanding. Give your kids all your love along with all the facilities that you shower over them. Understand their problems and talk to them as friends. Make them share with you all their problems and show them how bold actions are taken Don't allow them to suffer silently

This is what my one year's stay in Lucknow taught me

Personal V2

Turning point?

I am editing this post afterwards.

Through this post, I had invited your suggestions regarding my choice for 'majors', from (1) Operations and Supply Chain Management or (2) HR Management. Simultaneously, I had asked some of my seniors, ex-colleagues and professors for the same. I have received some very good points.

I thank you all, from my heart, for your comments and suggestions. Most of you have made very important points.

I will let you know my decision by early next week (here).

Those who missed this post, missed my good 'self-analysis' :)

Thank you again,

Rahul

Update: ‘Operations‘ is the Word!