Rahul Writes

Someone found that a highly revered spiritual person took non-vegetarian food at times. People knew about it. Is it unusual? Is it shameful and unacceptable? Or is it something which shouldn’t raise our eyebrows?   

I think that what we eat is for our body. What we eat does impact our moods and our thinking, but may be not much when the food is taken in small quantity infrequently, which I believe the spiritual leader would be doing during certain part of his life… I think if one is highly spiritually enlightened, it doesn’t matter what he ate. For example, if I don’t eat for 5 hours I will feel hungry, troubled, and agitated. But the same won’t happen to a person who has all his senses in perfect control; like a Yogi or a Sadhu. These people may still be stable and happy after being hungry for many hours. So it is not the food or its absence which would trouble me - it will be my inability to control senses which would do that. So I strongly believe that for evolved souls, these small matters don’t impact them if they don’t want to be impacted by them. 

Still there is an issue of sensitivity. I think evolved souls would be more sensitive than us. But sensitiveness is one thing and being affected by those is another. Highly evolved souls would be “aware” of all - even the little and small things surrounding them - but they won’t be affected by them because of the “detachment” they experience all the time… 

What do you think?  

Posted [here]

One oft-repeated phrase of our time is, “Change is the only constant thing of this world.” And this is a very apt statement. I call it a phrase of “our time” because the world never moved as fast as it has been moving in the past decades. Almost everything has undergone fundamental changes; be it the way we live, the things we own, the things we looked forward to own, and even our value system. Our relationships have also changed. But my focus right now is not on the macro level changes happening at global scale. I am looking at the way things change for the constant person within his/her lifetime… This change is something which has remained constant over time, though the nature and intensity of changes always vary…  

The kid is free from the burden of expectations on him. He can shout, cry, sleep, or laugh whenever/wherever he wants or feels like. It doesn’t remain the same as he grows up. At times even kids feel that their early-childhood was better than their then-childhood’s stage which is more mature and responsible. Along with time, they feel they are able to enjoy lesser things and in lesser ways and have to live up to the patterns of the society. As they grow up to a certain age, they get to know and feel things which had been invisible to them so far. They get to know that their friends are of two types – boys and girls – and hence they decide to make groups amongst the same gender. “Discipline” is a word which youngsters listen a lot, and at times to the frustrating limits. Their freedom is chained and their behaviors are monitored. Life becomes less fun and more mechanical. After some more years, during what we call adolescence or teenage, when they confuse themselves between being a kid and a grownup man/woman, they get revolting feelings. Their relationships to even their parents are not the same. There is more thinking, judging, and protest, than simply obeying. These years can be very turbulent, depending on the circumstances and environment shaping them. Boys and girls have now their distinct individual personalities, aspirations, value system, philosophies, likes & dislikes. Almost everything changes now, and there is also a kind of “clarity” which they experienced never before. By the time they survive the teen years, they almost become what they had never dreamt of becoming – “part of society” confirming to its standards…  

It is interesting to think that all through the changes, is there something which remains constant? Spirituality will say that only our “soul” remains constant, while our body, our mind, and everything else changes. But talking on a different plane, I wonder again: is there anything which remains the same? It is obvious that everything material would have undergone changes – be it our house, city, gadgets, technology, our bodies, our hair, etc. Are the soft aspects of life the same? Even our likes and dislikes would have changed much. Some things may not change, like kids with sweet tooth may grow up but still love sweet stuff; may be cakes instead of candies. Now, do our relationships change? A son who has now a boss in office and a wife at home to please, does he remain as warm and sweet to his parents as before? A daughter who has got an altogether new family to adjust in and entertain, will she have a change in her priorities? Will a brother behave the same with his sister who is married now? Will a father interrupt his daughter like before even if she has a whole new world to look after? It seems life becomes more complex, more challenging and difficult – but at the same time people also become tougher, abler, and stronger. The point is not the way things go – for better or for worse. The point is that almost nothing remains the same… Is that a pity? Is that a blessing? I am sure more vote would go for the former, but that is not because of facts of life but because of the way we are designed…  

I think we are all designed in a way that we like and seek stability and security. Things which seem predictable to us, things which we can understand and hence judge, look better to us than things which are unpredictable, opaque, dark and aloof, even if appearing more profitable. Hence I think that along with our growing up, we tend to have more insecurities and fears piling inside us… The more we are exposed to new and changed things, somewhere inside our system we should be seeking more stability and less changes, in some way or the other… These insecurities or fears may turn out into complexes of our mind, or may make us do or not do some things. Again the question is not if this is good or bad, because by and large we don’t have a choice! Yet, I think the more we are ‘aware of ourselves’, the ‘stronger’ we are from the inside, and hence better we shall be able to manage these changes… And in the end, managing the changes is same as managing ourselves…  

Posted [here]

While visiting temples, I think most of us would be dropping some money or some coins in the hundi or cash collection boxes. We would also offer some coins (dravya) as part of our offering during worshipping the deity. Bigger temples display written notices directing the devotees to drop money only at the designated places. I guess at some point of time all of us would have wondered if such donations to temples are worthwhile. Some of us might be thinking that it is a waste of money and it goes to the overfed priests. I think there can be a serious misconception and lack of awareness if our views are on these lines.  

Bigger Hindu temples carry out a lot of social welfare activities. For example, the list of social welfare work being done by the famous Tirupati Mandir consists of:  

·         Giving free medical treatment to the poor

·         Maintaining shelters for poor

·         Home for treatment of leprosy patients

·         Free boarding, lodging and education to orphans and destitute

·         Training center for handicapped people

·         Schemes to conserve underground water and rain water

·         Planting saplings and developing forests

·         Protection of cows

·         Preservation of temples and religious symbols 

References: [Link1] [Link2] [Link3] [Link4]  

Similarly, Mata Amritanandamayi Math carries out a host of social welfare activities including: 

·         Homes for the Homeless (Amrita Kuteeram project to build 100,000 homes for the poor)

·         Free monthly pension for the poor

·         Prisoner Welfare

·         Tribal Welfare programs

·         providing free legal services to the poor

·         Mass Marriages of impoverished couples

·         Free food and clothes to the poor

·         Care Homes for the Elderly

·         Running Orphanage

·         Vocational Training & Self Help Groups 

Reference: [Link1] 

While bigger temples carry out a lot of social work using the money received through donations, a lot of bigger Hindu temples are actually managed by the state governments. In such cases, the money collected in the temples is also spent on developing infrastructure of the cities and areas around it. For example, you can read about how Shirdi Sai Baba Temple funds are being used by the state government for infrastructure development projects like building roads, footpaths, and parking places. [Ref1] Although this is a controversial topic whether state governments should take temple donations to carry out work which they are supposed to do anyway. [Ref2] In my opinion, government’s control over Hindu temples is undesirable and it should be decontrolled over time. (Though the current trend is just the opposite.) Until the decontrol happens, even if the governments take a big portion of temple donations for other work, if there are lesser donations the actual money left with the temples to do social work would be lesser and hence our donations are needed to maintain the current running set of social welfare activities.  

Smaller temples depend hugely on donations to maintain themselves and to cover expenses like regular puja, cleanliness, security and infrastructure maintenance. In my opinion, we should donate more at smaller temples than at the bigger temples because of this reason.  

If we look at the historical account too, the need for funding our temples is very genuine. For centuries during the Islamic invasion of India, temples of all sizes were destroyed and desecrated by the barbaric forces. Somnath Temple is a classic case, but such cases are scattered all over India, especially the Northern part. Almost all major temples were attacked. The Ram Temple at Ayodhya is a recent example where the court had to rule out the inconvenient fact that there was indeed a Ram Temple at the site of the Babri Masjid. Over a thousand years of foreign rule left our temples in pitiful state. Therefore there was a severe need to start rebuilding our temples post our independence. There have been some extraordinary efforts in this area by the Birlas who built Birla Mandirs in all major cities and institutions like ISKCON who have built world class temple complexes. I think we need more number of grand temples of the scale of Akshardham or Somnath Temples. I think we should therefore definitely fund construction of any new big size temple.  

Apart from making new temples, there is a serious need to develop the infrastructure of existing temples. Every year we hear some stampede or calamity at the crowded ancient Temples which were not designed for so much rush. How else will they be able to make better arrangements, than by using our donations?  

Now coming to the question if such donations are charity? Why not? Charity is defined as “The voluntary giving of help, typically money, to those in need”, or “benevolence or generosity toward others”. I think without doubt our donations at Hindu temples can be counted as charity. It is a charity towards causes which are both noble and in dire need.  

Looking from all positions I think we should continue donating some money at the collection boxes of our temples. 

- Rahul

Someone asked me, “Which is more powerful: good or bad?” Here are my thoughts and the reply:  

There is a similar debate on which is stronger gender: males or females. I think many reached the conclusion that their strengths are “different” and hence not comparable. Both are powerful, in their own way. If we compare them on one particular criterion, then only one would appear more powerful than the other.  

I think to find which is more powerful between what we call ‘good’ and ‘bad’, we would have to clarify what we mean by ‘powerful’. 

If power means an ability to contract and spread - I think bad is more powerful. 

If power means one which gives strength to the heart and soul, and virtues like will power and confidence - I think good is more powerful.  

If power means an ability to retain, persist when faced with opposition - I think bad is more powerful. 

If power means an ability which makes us feel well even alone and not to ask for external approval - I think good is more powerful. 

If power means an ability to win over others on physical level - I think bad is more powerful.  

If power means an ability to win over others on intellectual level - I think good is more powerful.  

If power means being such a virtue which one can wish to have even at the death-bed and even after earning all that one can earn in this world - I think good is more powerful. 

- Rahul

Have you seen your parents cry?  

I guess you may not have seen it many times. But how would be the feeling? I guess that would take the world out of you…  

Does it happen the same way when parents see their children cry?  

Do they get a sinking feeling when they see their children cry? Do they see the world collapse in front of their stoned eyes; do they feel something as if bursting out in their hearts? I guess we would answer in the negation. They must not feel so deeply every time they see their children cry. After all, they are grownups. They are mature, have seen life and are not easily shaken. But even then there should be times and situations when no matter how much they have seen life, all would seem trivial; when no matter how grownup they are they would feel helpless in front of the situation. I hope you would agree with me. In those situations, what do you think - would their pain and grief be graver than ours? I think it is difficult to answer, though the pointer would be tilted towards “yes”.  

I think we take expression too seriously. If we love someone, we are taught that we should express so. If we like someone, we should tell him or her how much they are for us. After some time, we tend to think “seriously” that expression is a necessary indication of what goes inside our heart. It may not always be so! And this is where I find connect with my example of parent-child pain situation.  

If parents start expressing all their pains, problems and objections, I think our life would become very depressed. On the other hand, though we would always love to see them express their happiness, pleasure and applause, this knowledge can also make us over confident, relaxed and uncaring in extreme situations. Therefore, I think “trust” is an immensely important ingredient in a parent-child relationship. Though it is important in all other relationships too, it plays a very critical role in parent-child relationship because when children grow up and become laden with responsibilities while parents become old and noncontributing in worldly matters, the dynamics of relationship changes. A “trust” between them makes them perceive, imagine, empathize and feel more than simply react according to the expressions of the other.  

I think expression is important, but not always necessary. It is good, but its absence is not always bad. A trustful relationship based on mutual empathy would turn the silence into another language of expression…  

While walking in the evening, suddenly my sight reached the moon. The moon lit the dark sky. Its shape was incomplete today. My mind wandered to visualise the reason. The sun would be on the other side of the earth, that part of earth would be seeing the day and the part where I walked had a night. The earth would therefore be creating a shadow on the moon, which made the moon lit less than half. After visualising this, my mind saw myself walking on the earth. Earth is so large, sun is larger and moon too very large compared to anything else on this earth’s surface. And I am not even a drop in the ocean. In fact when I saw myself from the high above, everything and everyone seemed small and worthless.  

Just 10 minutes back I was thinking about ways to make more money, to enhance career prospects, to buy a house: all material thoughts. But visualising the worthlessness of this life made me think about its purpose. The purpose of life is definitely not to make most money or to become the richest and strongest person on this earth. Even if I become so, I won’t even be a speck in the sky. Hinduism tells our goal is to get free from all attachments and attain moksha. But I wonder:  

Our flight was about to land in some time. Now land started to get visible from the window. I saw Mumbai. It seemed so tiny. As the plane got nearer to the land, now roads and buildings became visible. Nearer; and people could also be seen.

Our earth is only a small planet rotating around one star in this giant universe. On this earth, a city like Mumbai is only like a dot. In that dot, a house or a building is such a miniscule structure. And in that building, one flat or apartment is of such a trivial existence. And for that ‘small’ building; and that one from among millions of cars; and that 1/thousand of a dot of land, we race to become ‘inhuman’ to earn ‘enough’ money!

Life should be more than this race into oblivion.

- Rahul

In one scene from the movie “The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day”, the voiceover says, “Peace is the enemy of memory.” What a startling fact!  

It is so easy to forget some troubling incidents or some important reminders, if we only remain in peace for quite some time. I think it works both ways: it’s good as well as bad. If we take the example of Kashmir, the revolting people are like that because they haven’t really seen peace. And that has been the strategy of the neighboring enemy state Pakistan: if there is a period of peace in Kashmir, Kashmiris would forget to “revolt” against Indian state. On the other hand, peace is also what has made Indians numb towards many of the national goals for which our freedom fighters worked. We go on with our lives no matter one of our own people lives or dies on the footpath: our individual contribution towards poverty eradication is very low. We keep being proud of our children who go to elite schools and then settle abroad; while many like us can’t afford to feed their children properly. At one time before independence, our nation was one, behind Mahatma, in spreading the light of education.  

Peace has indeed eliminated our collective memory of our national priorities. Today, we live life in a modern India, completely oblivious of many like us who have seen no light of modernity.  

- Rahul

We often use the word ‘personal’, but at one time I wondered if there are things in our life which could be called ‘personal’ to us in real sense. I would start with the closest guess. Are our feelings really personal to us? There are people who can guess our feelings accurately by looking at our face or into our eyes. And then we by ourselves show our feelings in many ways, unconsciously. And then there would be people close to us who would feel a part of our own feelings – out of empathy. Our life itself is also not personal. There are interferences from our parents and friends which we can’t avoid. In fact if we look back into our life, we would realize that most of our life was shaped by external events and circumstances. What if my parents didn’t have money to fund my education? What if I was born into a remote location with no school? What if my wife said no to the marriage proposal? What if I missed that train to attend that interview on time? Our life is definitely not entirely in our hands. So what others can be our ‘personal’ in true sense? Any relationship that we share has different aspects and many stakeholders in it. The properties and assets we own really don’t amount to be counted in the personal list – they won’t be there if we don’t have finances to retain or maintain them. Our parents or our relationships with our parents are very close to our personal in the sense – but then they have other children apart from us; some others too call them papa and mom.   

But I think there is one thing which we can call entirely personal. And there won’t be any others to guess what it stands for us and no others to claim a stake in it. It’s the feeling of nostalgia. What you feel seeing that locality, or that design of chair, or the name of that school, or any mention of that teacher or person, no other in this world can feel it the same way. No other person knows about every memory behind our recollections at the moment and there are no stakeholders present today in the events of the past that make us feel nostalgia. I think our feeling of nostalgia is such a unique thing that it should qualify for our truly ‘personal’ by any definition…  

- Rahul

Many times our friends and relatives ask us for suggestions. I hope we give suggestions without any hidden intentions or bias and our suggestions are made to only benefit our friend from our knowledge of the matter. It is up to the seeker whether to accept or discard the suggestion.  

But I have observed a new trend these days. In many cases, the seeker takes decision which is opposite and in conflict with the suggestion one has received. The underlying cynicism is that the suggestion must have some hidden intent.  

I think I can guess the reason behind such cynicism. Some times we come across people who give suggestions which are either biased – made keeping in view the selfishness of the person giving the suggestion rather than the one seeking it, or they are conspiring – made to confuse and harm the person seeking suggestion. If we come across many such persons then we start thinking negative about the process of suggestions itself. (We still ask for suggestions because it is human nature.) And this negative thinking makes us see hidden intent even where there is none.  

I think we should be careful in this regard.  

- Rahul

There are some universal laws which apply so perfectly to the human nature irrespective to the variations in culture or in background. One of them is that we value less what comes easily to us. To some extent we capture it in the Hindi anecdote “Ghar ki murgi daal barabar”. It can also be described by the tendency to undermine self possessions.  

This maxim applies to all aspects of our life. What we get after much struggle, feels dear to us. But what we got by chance or by gift, loses its sheen after some time. It also applies to relationships to some extent. Friendships which happened by chance and without any efforts from our side may lose our attraction but for whom we ‘tried’ to reach out, no matter what the outcome, may seem dear to us. In the times of matrimony, if an offer came to us easily or without our efforts, we tend to be casual about it no matter if it was really perfect for us. In matrimony matters many times we realise later on that we had ignored some very good initial offers (we ignored, may be, because they came easily to us). Or a person who got unexpectedly better or superior spouse may also start valuing him/her less because of this very psychology. The sad part is that this tendency only makes our life more difficult because we ignore the true merit in most of the cases and don’t take decisions rationally.  

This is why decision making remains the toughest task in any job or in any relationship.  

- Rahul

When we were kids and we did something great – like doing well in exams or winning a prize – we would naturally like to show our achievements to all. We would love if people came to know how brilliant we were and if they patted us on the back. Not that we got many such opportunities. The reason was not that we were not brilliant, but our parents didn’t allow us such appreciation. An achievement should be hidden – may be not to make others envious of us; and children should not be praised much – may be to prevent us from becoming proud and flattered – this faculty got embedded in our psyche. Now I realize how good our parents were at what they did; or didn’t do. I see it in the life of Tiger Woods and his parents.  

I read a report which says that on December 25^th, 2009, there were at least 14 women with whom world # 1 golfer Tiger Woods had had an extra-marital affair. With him going deep into ever-appearing sex-scandals; no one wants to idolize him anymore. Accenture has broken their sponsorship with him; and so have many other companies which were using him as brand ambassadors till now.  

Tiger Woods was a child prodigy. He started playing golf from the age of 2. No doubt, he reached the top and personified excellence in the golf grounds. Tiger Wood’s parents have been very proud of him. But even without my parent’s standards it seems their pride in ‘him’ broke all boundaries:  

“Tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity. … He is the Chosen One. He’ll have the power to impact nations. Not people. Nations.” — Earl Woods, Tiger Wood’s father. 

“Tiger has Thai, African, Chinese, American Indian, and European blood. He can hold everyone together. He is the Universal Child.” — Kultida Woods, Tiger Wood’s mother. 

Today, I wonder if Earl or Kultida Woods would stand by their words. I wonder how they celebrated Tiger Wood’s birthday just yesterday (Dec 30th)?  

Earl Woods was of mixed African American, Chinese and Native American ancestry. Kultida Woods is of mixed Thai, Chinese, and Dutch ancestry. Tiger Woods refers to his ethnic make-up as “CaBlInAsian” (CAucasian, BLack, (American) INdian, and ASIAN). Did his ‘genes’ and ancestry give him some advantage? Apparently, this is what his father and mother thought! Still, if we accept their logic - that he having blood from various ancestries and races would unify all nations and would do ‘more’ than any other man in history - then we would also have to accept that in this way he would inherit the ‘negatives’ too! Isn’t it so? Then did he get his spiritual void - which needed several women and lot of sex to fill with - all because of his ‘lack of stability’ – stemming from his mixed genes and confused inheritance? I wish we don’t believe in this theory! I wish we call his parent’s proud statements as their merely emotional outpouring…  

But the problem is: until such Tigers show their real face, we tend to accept all the theories going around them. As it happens in Bollywood movies, the evildoer gets punished only at the end of the story! Before that, the heroes struggle and the villains eat drink and enjoy. So this brings me to one very nice thought: “What we see may not be the truth.”   

What do we do then? Should we stop idolizing anyone? Should we stop being fans of celebrities like Michael Jackson (whom we find one day accused of paedophilia)? Should we stop supporting sportsmen whom we all love to connect with? What will be a life without a Sachin Tendulkar, Diego Maradona and … (Barack Obama) - the superstars in our eyes?  

I think the answer can be more tilted towards yes, rather than a no. Why do we ‘idolize’ personalities? Is it because somewhere we are trying to hide our own ‘mediocrity’ by clouding us with the celebrity worship? Does celebrity worship give us a momentary false sense of high that we need to get out of mundane days and nights which we keep ploughing through? I think the answer is close to yes.  

I have a strong feeling that we should not idolize anyone. Because when we idolize someone ‘else’, we in a way abuse our own ’self’. Hindu philosophy would say that all of us have the same God inside us (and hence no one is greater or lower). Even if someone’s self is more awakened than ours it doesn’t mean we are ’small’ in comparison. Self development is only matter of time. Also, we should avoid trying to find solace outside in ‘external’ sources. Idolizing personalities and celebrities is a sure way of getting motivation and ‘feel good’ because of ‘external’ sources. Such external sources will change or digress one day and we may be left with a deepened void.  

Just like we know the phrase “Hate the crime, not the criminal”, I think we should also keep this attitude of “Appreciate the deed, not the doer”. Appreciating the doer fulfills one’s ego and makes him/her proud. Appreciating his deed inspires others to “do like him” rather than “be like him”. There is a vast difference between the two.  

I think it is the Kali Yuga when no “absolute goodness” and no “absolute evil” would exist. Since we can’t change or even affect the celebrities and personalities we idolize, we should keep this attitude of aloofness and personal-detachment from them. Otherwise, if someone grew up being a fan of some exceptional performer and this idol turns out to be the face of evil at the end of his/her life, it would be a psychological disaster.  

Let us make the spirit of ‘doing good’ immortal. Doers may come and go. So the talent of Tiger Woods will be remembered; yet Tiger Woods won’t be idolized. The ‘sportsman’ inside Tiger Woods will be praised; yet the ‘man’ inside him would be detested. If this was the message that Tiger Wood’s life was to give to all of us – I am happy even with his revelations.  

- Rahul

~!~

I wish you and your family a very happy and fruitful new year 2010…. Wish you very good times ahead… (Rahul)

It is a fact that women have been discriminated against for centuries, in all parts of the world. The world history can be seen as a fight against this discrimination.

There was a time when women in India truly enjoyed the same rights as that of men. We had so many women philosophers. In fact we are unique in the way that we worship so many Goddesses and even see our country as mother. There are so many instances in our mythology when all gods failed to win over the demons and they had to invoke a female in order to save the world.

Even our prayers start with mentioning the feminine and the motherhood:

Twameva mata cha pita twameva

Twameva bandhushcha sakha twameva

Twameva vidya dravinam twameva

Twameva sarvam mama deva deva

You alone are my mother and my father,

You alone are my friend and my beloved companion,

You alone are my knowledge and my wealth,

O Supreme Lord, you alone are everything for me.

Voices for women's rights

Fortunately or unfortunately, today we have so many saviors of women rights. They would cite examples from the mythology and our history, to prove that we had always been discriminating against women. Nothing wrong with them, but we should take care if they are fulfilling their own agenda while provoking our insecurities. Many a time, the people who accuse others of a bias are themselves biased. And they think that a reverse-discrimination is not called discrimination. We have now women chauvinists who are fighting against male chauvinism. I don't know if we gain anything from increasing the sense of mistrust between the genders. Hatred can't be won over by hatred and similarly discrimination can't be destroyed if we are our self biased ' if we see the whole world through our tainted glasses.

The story of Ahilya from the times of Ramayana is often cited as an example of how women were discriminated against even in those times (Sat Yuga). They would comfortably forget that it was the time when a Prince and his family would suffer and a King would die ' just to keep a promise to a woman ' a stop mother and one of the four wives. It was the time when princess Sita could arrange a swayamvar (groom choosing) where Princes and Kings competed with each other to win the right to marry her. A lot depends on the way we look at the things, but we can't allow anyone to tell half-baked stories to make a point.

The story of Ahilya

Ahilya was the wife of sage Gautama. Both lived happily in his ashram spending their days in peace and holy meditation. Indra, the king of natural forces, had lecherous dreams about her. Once sun and moon assisted Indra in confusing Gautam that it was morning while it was actually night. While Gautam was away for morning ablutions, Indra, disguised as Gautam, approached Ahilya and proposed his desires in front of her. Perhaps she was deceived by the impersonation and yielded to his desire.

Indra was fleeing in guilty panic, when he bumped into the rishi who was just returning from his ablutions. The sage immediately guessed as to what had happened. The sage was very angry and he cursed Indra that he would loose his manhood immediately, as a punishment for the sin he had committed. As soon as the rishi spoke these words, Indra became a eunuch.

Then the sage turned to his wife and he cursed Ahilya to become a stone for an indefinite period of time. He then added that she would be turned to a woman when the son of Dashrath would touch her statue with his foot. The sage then left his ashram for Himalayas.

Ahilya Uddhar

Rama and Lakshman were staying in the forest under the tutelage of Vishwamitra, who taught them the Vedas and other scriptures. One day Vishwamitra received an invitation from King Janak, ruler of Janakpur (Mithila), to attend the Swayamvar ceremony of his daughter Sita. Kings, princes and sages from all over were invited to attend the ceremony to win the hand of the beautiful princess. Vishwamitra asked Rama and Lakshman to accompany him, and so the three set out for Janakpur.

On the way to Janakpur they passed by a deserted cottage besides which lay the stone statue of Ahilya. Rama then touched the stone statue with his foot and released Ahilya from her curse, turning her into a woman again.

Ahilya thanked him and offered her prayers. She got patient with her emotions, understood the presence of Lord, and attained devotion by the grace of the Lord of Raghu. She said, “That sage cursed me and turned me into a stone, I consider that as my fortune and beneficial for I got to see Hari, the destroyer of the cycle of rebirth, in front of my eyes.” She fell on His feet and became liberated from this world.

Who is Indra?

Many of us don’t even know that Indra is a position and it doesn’t refer to a permanent god. Indra is the god of war and weather, and also the King of the gods or Devas. Indra’s position is temporary, based on his conduct, karma and punya. One Indra leaves and another replaces him, and there have been many Indras. It is a perfect system: if another devta does greater tapas than the reigning Indra, he would occupy his position. And if Indra corrupts himself by doing wrong things, he would certainly come down from his position.

Where else would you find such a beautiful system: even devtas not being spared of wrongdoings? If we humans do good, we can become a devta, and if a devta does maintain himself, he can become the Indra. No one is “100% perfect” and whenever Indra proves him unworthy of his position, he is brought down and another Indra takes over. And not to forget that Indra is also subject to the curses of Rishis.

The doubts

The main accusation made in Ahilya's case is that she was mistreated by her husband and the society only because she was a woman. Let us see it if this was the case.

1. It is only natural for a husband to get angry when he finds that his wife has cheated him. What he does in the fit of rage is only up to him, though he should be responsible for the actions. The same is true about women too. Hence when Gautam became furious of having found another person with his wife, his anger is understandable. That he had the spiritual powers to curse others, resulted in the destruction. In the fit of rage he forgot to see that his wife was fooled by Indra, but in such cases there is always a sense of mistrust and suspicion.

2. That was Sat yuga, the time when women also had great spiritual powers. Even then, if Ahilya was fooled into believing that the man having returned so early after leaving for a bath in the river was her husband and no one else, her mistake was human. She didn't necessarily deserve the curse. (In some versions of the story, it is mentioned that Ahilya had recognized the disguised Indra, but she gave in because of her pride in her beauty and her lust. We will not base our arguments on this.)

3. Gautam can't be called a hypocrite. He himself had led a righteous life. He was loyal to his wife too and in turn he expected the same. Nothing is wrong with this expectation.

4. After cursing Indra and turning his wife into a stone, rishi Gautam left the ashram forever and went to the Himalayas for tapasya. In case he had remarried, it would have been a very different case. He himself sacrificed too and never left the righteous path.

5. Even though Gautam cursed Ahilya and turned her into stone, he did leave a way out for her ' that when son of Dashrath would come and touch her, she would become human again. There was a possibility for her liberation.

6. Most importantly ' Gautam didn't spare Indra of his crime. He cursed him to lose his manhood and that was a real curse. Afterwards, Indra did a lot of tapa to get his manhood back by seeking blessings of Lord Brahma. To say he was spared and he was not punished is wrong. Many a time people tell only half of the story to make their point, and this is horribly wrong. This episode about Gautam punishing Indra is there in all the versions of the story, but some of us conveniently forget it.

What happened in this case is understandable. There is no attempt to blindly justify what sage Gautam did, but we certainly understand the circumstances in which he did that. And he didn't pick up only his wife for punishment, but he equally or harshly punished Indra. Therefore, to used this case to make a point only to prove that women were discriminated against is not correct.

More thoughts

Many a time, the way things are designed by our God, is not known to us. There is a catch, and many of us often miss it only to get baffled by the way things happen.

Think how difficult it is for us to see God Himself. How many rebirths we have to take, how much tapasya and devotion we have to offer in order to please Him to bless us? While on the way to our spiritual path, anyone can say that we are stupid. Only our efforts matter and God does bless us when we deserve what we ask for.

Ahilya got Lord Ram himself to touch her and make us leave this world of suffering. She attained liberation at the feet or Lord Ram himself ' something for which at least I am able to remain a stone for a billion ages. If we see from this angle, we understand the divine leela that Ram plays with us.

Many a time, God tests us. Why do bad things happen with good people? Why do some great souls have to suffer so much of harsh life? Why, even after leading a righteous life, one has to suffer a misfortune? There is always a catch. One, who remains good even in adverse conditions, is the real good. Bad times and seemingly wrong doings are occurred to us to test the real us and our faith.

It is so clear that Ahilya was selected by God and was made to pass a test. And eventually she was rewarded with the ultimate one. When she saw Lord Ram in front of her, she didn't ask him to punish her husband. She was overwhelmed with joy and thanked her fortune of going through the tough times, so that she could be saved by Lord Ram Himself.

If she didn't have any complains, why should our women rights activists fight endless battles for her? Are not they using her? I don't see this as a case of gender-discrimination for the reasons I shared. I see hers as a case which proves how difficult the path to reach Him is. And how there are divine designs which we don't easily understand by taking them at their face values.

Madhubani Painting: Salvation of Ahilya

(Rahul)

"The berth numbers have changed", was the answer to my curious look at the person occupying my seat when I boarded the train. No birth-rights to the berths these days; as tickets are not certificates It had happened that the railways had inserted one extra side-berth in the three-tier coaches at the last moment and had reassigned the seats. Anyway, gradually life in the moving train settled down; it was night and everyone wanted to go to sleep  

Gossips in Indian trains are lively, given that the journeys are long and adventures only for a few. I woke up with people debating the same issue. There was a father-son duo, who had boarded the train with a waiting-list ticket and hence people adjusted to accommodate them. The efforts and uneasiness in doing so, from both sides, had taken a toll on the tone of the discussions, and now everyone was criticizing the railways and the railway minister Lalu Prasad Yadav for what he had done in order to turnaround the ailing railways and make his ministry the most profitable one. Criticizing is good for health, but when it comes from all quarters and is biased, racist, or chauvinist, it makes the atmosphere suffocating. Thank God, the ticket examiner arrived soon and hence the riot turned into a silence.

The father without a berth but with his son asked the TTE what his berth was, and complained about the hassles they had to endure because of the extra-berth inserted. The TTE flipped through his charts Seemed he was not able to find his name, though the ticket was valid. Now people became more agitated and they would have brought the railway minister down to hell (if he was already not there) by their curses and sniping glances

"You have been upgraded to the higher class (for free); that is why your name is not appearing here " The compartment fell into another spell of silence.. I could hear the heartbeats of the critical co-passengers, or should I say heart-aches? The same father-son who were so vocal in criticizing the railways, were now preparing to move to the higher-class, very silently

Life has been and will always remain good or bad based on our own way to look at it.  

(Rahul)

Thoughts

Weak

When I was five

I was very wilful

When they didn't give me that toy

I cried for days

And didn't take food

But I didn't feel bad

When I was twenty five

That girl said she didn't like me

And my heart bled

For days

And nights

and days

But I anyhow survived

I am eighty five

And my son says one harsh word

And I get heart attack!

And I wait to die

As I grow older

I become weak

From body and from the heart

And I always wanted to be

My father

Thoughts

Love or Infatuation

Guys, even the last day of the year is not too late to learn a thing or two about life. Here is what I read in a Paulo Coelho book last night:

Each would always be fascinated by the other ' so long as each remained exactly what the other imagined.

That is what infatuation is: the creation of an image of someone, without advising that someone as to what the image is.

. ..

And when either of them demonstrated how they really were, the other would want to flee ' because it would mean the end of the world they had created.

He felt no guilt about it. Infatuation was a good thing. It gave spice to life, and added to its enjoyment.

But it was different from love. Love was worth everything, and couldn't be exchanged for anything.

Taking this logic forward (though at one point Paulo writes that love is never logical), we all must have at times been infatuated with someone ' and would have taken that for love. Right? But after reading this difference, things become much clear now. So schoolboys can't be in love with the cutest girl in the class ' they can very well be in infatuation. And the teenage guys can at best be infatuated with the actresses, no way have they loved them. You may read me and be infatuated with my writing. You need to know me in order to love!

Again, I think some times we like someone one-sided. The other person knows, but takes no advancements in explaining her/himself or her/his life. You go on telling your stories, s/he will listen to you and you think s/he likes you. But has s/he taken interest in telling you about her/himself? Most probably that points towards only one fact ' s/he may be happy with your infatuation ' but doesn't expect love to come in the scene anyhow. S/he knows that you are infatuated with her/his and that is because you don't know her/him. And s/he wants that to continue ' because may be the true facts disappoints you and you turn away!

But love, as we know now can only happen in true knowledge of each other. There is nothing like a perfect fit ' you two may well be very different ' but what nourishes the relationship is your knowledge of each other's strengths and weaknesses. Love will make acceptance despite differences because you love the things that the other person stands for.

Thank you 2007, you were kind on me. I love you. Have a chat with 2008 while you meet her at the midnight ' tell her to be infatuated with me ' if not really love me J

Wishing my friends a very happy and prosperous new year!

Kumar Rahul Tiwary

Thoughts

Is my way the best way?

Several times, we think that our way is the best way, without giving reasonable consideration to the alternatives. Take for example the traffic system in India, which follows the left-hand rule. But the fact is that this system of driving is prevailing in mainly the commonwealth countries ' the former colonies of the British! If I don't know this fact, I may think that the system of following right side of the road in US is strange and absurd!

My way will be the best, until I 'open my eyes'.

Thoughts

Acceptance

One thought just came to my mind: it is what I think the biggest but toughest learning in our life: to accept people with their imperfections I know that some of you commented this after some of my previous posts, but I never gave a serious thought to this. All the miseries of life and all the conflicts can vanish if we begin to accept people with their differences and imperfections.

Thoughts

Painting

He was painting for two hours now. It has been long since he started painting this one, and he wanted to finish it today. It was almost complete. Just some more final touches and the painting would be ready. He was standing on a lawn which was trimmed to perfection very recently. And there was a Gulmohar tree in the background, with red flowers looking very bright in the morning sun. He felt the colour red in his painting wasn't bright enough; he applied another coat. He noticed the smile of the girl was not wide enough, so he corrected it. One pearl in the bead looked small, so he made it bigger. Now the portrait was almost complete. He gave it another critical look. At one place it wasn’t sharp enough, so he gave it another brush. Now it seemed perfect.

If only our life was that easy to paint and correct.

Behind every successful woman, there is another woman

Nations like India to generate numerous success stories, because of the overlooked failures that the previous generations encountered and still secretly lament

On Sep 29, Mint came with an interview of Zia Mody (By Rana Rosen). At one place, Zia said: "My mother always thought she lost out on a higher education and was convinced she would have ended up far better than my father. So, she very often lived her ambitions and aspirations through her children. Always guiding us to be independent, self sustaining, honest to the value structure that we were brought up with, not to compromise our principles, and try to achieve more than what other people have achieved. Alpha mother."

You must agree that this is the case in most of the Indian households today, at least middle class households. The mothers didn't achieve their career ambitions due to family, societal, or marriage related limitations. Therefore, they live their ambitions and aspirations through their children. Although this is true for the fathers also, this is more common a pattern among the women in India. We had this very famous slogan, "teach a man and you teach an individual, teach a woman and you teach a family."

We can expect a revolutionary change in the education and professional scenes some years from now, when these kids, who were guided by the aspirations of their mothers, go and ask their share in the world!

What do you say?