randonmusings’s blog

He was always known as an achiever. The idealistic go-getter who never failed to attain his goal that was the way he was, even in his school days! Born into a comfortably well off family, belonging to the privileged class, he was taught right from his childhood that he was extra blessed by god. He was lucky to be born into the "highest" caste/class of people But that extra blessing also brought with it some "responsibilities" towards the very social set-up which gave him the status of belonging to "god's chosen few" . And redeeming others seemed to be a very important part of the cosmic plan that god had for his people

All of this, his personal & social identity really did not bother him on a conscious level he was at ease with whatever the role he was expected to play in society and never questioned its logic that is, until he met her .she was like a whiff of fresh air .embodying the freedom of the sea and the freshness of spring. He had gone to a very prestigious Ivy League Business School to do his MBA & she was his classmate there.

With her, he learnt to laugh and sing aloud, with her he learnt to set his heart free from the prison of social roles. The exceptional success that he achieved both in his academics and his career during the 2 yrs that they were together made him realize that God did not grudge human beings their happiness that God did not create the social divisions or the rules

Soon it was time for him to return home and, as he had feared, his family refused to even consider her as a prospective bride .she not only belonged to a different class and caste but to a different culture altogether.  In their eyes, any such union was a sin in the eyes of God and a bad example to the rest of the world.

When she saw the toll this emotional turmoil was taking on him, she asked him to go back to his roots, to his family, to the beliefs and values he grew up with. If their goodbye was what God wanted then so be it .

Today almost 18 years later, the society sees him as an ideal man .but deep within he suffers from an undying sense of guilt guilty of not having enough courage to stand by the very person whose love was strong enough to let him go and seek a life free of controversies and guilty of not belonging fully to the people around him(except perhaps his children)

A part of his being belongs wholly to her even today (though they never met again after saying goodbye) a  secret  corner of his mind where she lives on even today, where he finds most solace and comfort even today!