randonmusings’s blog

She is a very gifted bonsai artiste. Her house is decorated with the little editions of various fruit trees with cute looking fruit laden branches. Seeing her work to create these beauties is a wonder she carefully twists branches together, ties up the roots, gives them an antiseptic bath etc. and finally  decorates the base with marbles and colored stone chips. I often visit her place to see her new creations, watch her work and sometimes help her with "bathing" the plants in antiseptic solution.

Last weekend too was one such day. As we were working, the telephone rang. It was her son's   science tutor calling. He was going to be out of the city next week so he wanted to take the class on Sunday. Very politely, yet very firmly she said no her son's Saturdays are Sundays are fully packed with "hobby" courses to prepare him for life. As she returned to bathing her plants, she started talking about the dreams she had for her only son's future

The weekend kicked off for the little boy (he studies in std. V) with swimming early in the morning followed directly by abacus classes from abacus to drawing classes to lessons in keyboards & guitars , lawn tennis, chess, karate & even dramatics all packed into Saturdays & Sundays.

I gaped at the lady and asked her when he gets the time to pursue his own hobbies and interests. She seemed surprised but nonchalant after all are these not hobby classes?

She went on to explain the pains that they (her husband & she) have taken to chalk out the blueprint of his co-curricular activities .everything was planned in a way that he  stands out  in the crowd in future and excels in life. Everything in his life is planned out, right down to when and for how long he may watch T.V.

I was almost angry with her for treating her son as a commodity or investment for the future. She was treating the child like a bonsai tree that she creates where everything is manipulated by the creator right down to which fruit/flower will be allowed to remain on the branches, a creation where everything is decided by necessity or aesthetics rather than by the simple pleasure of existing!

And then suddenly, looking straight at me with her limpid eyes, she explained, why she, so desperately wants her son to succeed. She hailed from a semi'urban background where girl's education was not exactly the top priority for parents. Her husband had to cut short his academic career as the family business had nose-dived and joined his father in the business. Today their business is doing very well and they are flushed with funds. Yet, they feel socially inferior as they are not very educated. She knows that her "friends" find her faulty English amusing, that her husband's inability to play golf well makes him paranoid of attending the Sunday meets at the club . By  God's Grace they have everything today and their sole aim is to see that their son does not suffer from the same kind of complexes that they  are victim to ..

This confession took the wind out of the sails of my displeasure .it was a very ambivalent moment for me . Was it really as simple as I thought? Was she really treating her son as her trophy to show-off to the world? Or is it simply her way to protect her child from the pain of living life in the peripheries and shadows? I have found no answer

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friends….my iland is under attack from array….so some comments r vanishing from the page….please do paste the comment on gb if it happens with you….i value your opinions very much. i have lodged a complaint with rediff  and i hope to see an end to this at the earliest.

"Forget it and move on"— an oft-heard, oft-repeated phrase, the mantra of the modern day living!!!! Whatever happens in life you get to hear these words. Broken heart? Forget it and move on .  Exams results not good enough? Forget it and move on….Misunderstandings? Forget it and  move on ..oh yes life is a journey, so we have no options but to move on & keep moving whatever the terrain, however hard the journey. Current of life will sweep us along with its flow .do we have any other choice but to move on?

 Forgetting the past is definitely not possible,(unless one is struck with amnesia). Human mind has been heralded as the most sophisticated  computer ever known .unfortunately it doesn't come with its ALT+CTRL+DEL option nor can it be reformatted!

Recently, bumping into someone I used to know ages ago, made me realize how powerful memories are. Just the glimpse of a familiar face refreshed memories of days gone by .and incidents which I had "forgotten" or  had been pushed far back into the recesses of the mind seemed like a movie replaying right in front of my eyes like it all happened yesterday everything was vivid ..Nothing had been forgotten, but what struck me most was the fact that our perspectives and viewpoints had undergone a complete change .

The things that had seemed ridiculously funny then seemed quite insipid or even stupid in retrospect the things that had mattered enough to create bitterness had just ceased to matter anymore in fact it seems today that all of us had been very immature in "over-reacting" but at that point of time it had appeared that it was more important than even the decision to test the Agni missile! Most of all the "enormously" important issues of yesterday did not find a mention even in the passing .but it was not a conscious attempt to avoid the topics. Yet .we had NOT forgotten anything so then what had changed what made us move on?

I guess it was not forgetting but accepting it that makes it possible for us to move on yes, we were stupid, hasty, immature, impatient, stuck-up, & whatever ..imperfect in one word .but then it only proves just one thing WE ARE HUMAN .And its no sin to be one .”Accept it and move on“ life will definitely be an easier game to play!