reflections's blog

“Lo uski khabar bhi aa gayi, ab
tum kab khush khabari suna rahe ho?” came from an aunty on a family function

“Yeh to shaadi ka doosra saal hai
na, koi good news?” from a cousin sister at another family get-together

“Yaar, ab bahut ghoom phir liye,
now you should settle your family.” Advice from an elder brother

The world is full of our
well-wishers ready to offer their unsolicited advice at the most inappropriate
times… Those who have known this page must have read my previous musings on how
my concerned peers used to coax me to put an end to my celibacy & enter the privileged fraternity of the presumable happily married men… Marriage puts an end
to all their woes but for mine with their considerate interruptions that continue ceaselessly first into our social life
& then advancing into the private realms..

”tum dono ki aapas me pat rahi hai ke nahi? Is he too
bossy? Is she too nagging? nahi hum to bas yu hi pooch rahe thhe…. That day Mrs. X was telling that she overheard someone shouting from your flat? Wat
happened?sab kuchh thheek-thhaak hai na, tum dono ke beech me?”

Concocted stories become full-fledged gossips whilst changing places… I have never been able to understand why this mahila-group doesnot invest
their precious time & energy in more productive affairs of the society. Probably
the grim pleasure they derive from such juicy grapevines intoxicates their
minds to the extent of addiction, trapping them into a web of incessant tittle-tattle…

And then, over & above the
most benevolent “Mother-in-law” who turns into a secret spy investigating why
her daughter-in-law is delaying her principle obligation of carrying forward
the torch of their Vansh. I have never been able to understand why these
mother-in-laws consider that the sole purpose of marrying their sons is
propagation of their Vansh by their obedient daughter-in-laws whom they
consider nothing more than the dairy cows.

Why is the world around us so
obsessed with bearing children?

Continuation of species: False,
we have many around, one less will not make any difference

Continuation of your lineage:
False again, do you know the name of your great-great grandfather, nor your
great great grandson will know yours

Purpose of life: if the child is
your purpose of life, what will be
your purpose of life once he is grown up & off creating his own niche?

Belongingness, feeling of
ownership & satisfaction: Aren’t these merely beautiful words that in turn
hide your desire to feel important & respected in the eyes of your child
& an unsaid expectation that he/she will take care of you the way you are
taking care of him/her?

I think that couples have kids
because that’s what everyone else of their group does too. Out of sheer social
pressure & for want of peer acceptance.. The fear of being considered flawed,
being outcasted & may be taunted to the extent that they might start belittling
themselves..

But is this a reason sufficient
enough to trade-off your peace of mind & independance for the rest of your life?

Will come with more on this later but till then just hoping that my concerned well-wishers will give me some respite from their scrupulous insight..

A couple of weeks ago I was watching Polar Express, a beautiful holiday movie that reinforces the miracles of Christmas and having faith, even when there is lacking in evidence. There was a key moment near the end of the movie that reminded me of the key to developing that unshakable belief.

Before we go there though, let me give you some back story. In the beginning, we see the Hero Boy, played by Tom Hanks, searching for evidence to believe in Santa Claus and Christmas but instead finds himself getting more and more doubtful. He goes to sleep on Christmas eve only to be woken by the a train outside his house. Despite his reservations, that little part of him that is still hanging onto hope motivates him to jump on the polar express.

After a bunch of adventures, Hero Boy and all the other kids on the train arrive at the North Pole. The kids and elves keep talking in awe about how beautiful the bells sound. Hero Boy keeps saying “What bells? I don’t hear any bells.” Finally, the moment comes when Santa arrives and the crowd goes wild! Hero Boy keeps jumping up and down anxious to see if Santa really exists but there are too many heads in front of him. Suddenly, a bell falls off the sleigh and rolls to his feet. He grabs it and starts shaking it fiercely, desperately wanting to hear the bells. After much frustration, he completely surrenders what he thinks he knows- the KEY to belief - and exasperated says, “Fine, I believe. I believe. I believe.” And suddenly he hears the bells.

This act of surrender which leads to the miracle almost always happens in life. When we are pushing, pulling, resisting and fighting with all our might, we are stuck. This immobility keeps us trapped in our circumstances until we finally are so tired, like Hero Boy, that we simply let go. Surrender to the situation. When you let go of what you are carrying that is no longer serving you, you have no choice but to have faith that things will work out okay.

As you enter 2010, it is a great time to surrender all that has not been serving you. Take time to write out all the things you are willing to let go of and release. Be grateful for blessings and consciously choose to move into 2010 clear and ready to be the superstar you were meant to be.

source:http://www.cindyashton.com/little-miracles/polar-express-the-key-to-discovering-belief/

I don’t recall where I heard this
bit of advice but it’s good…
“don’t tell your troubles to anyone
who can’t help you solve them.”

New year is a time for celebration.. Fun & frolic. Party,
feast & dances.. a time to welcome the New year with pomp & splendor..For
some it’s a time for Memories & dreams.. Memories of all the times gone by
both good & bad, happy & sad.. Dreams of all the times yet to come,
plans yet to be implemented, hopes to be materialized..  a time to celebrate together..

For a few it’s a time of memories of different kind..
Memories of togetherness, of the good times spent with friends & family..
Memories that a soldier reminisces of while on duty in battlefield, memories
that a driver thinks of while carrying people & goods to their  destination, memories that haunt a doctor while
on duty on the 31^st night, or the policeman on watch on the new year’s
eve.. for these,  the new year’s eve
brings the realization of the priceless joy of having families & friends
together  and the hope that sooner they
too will also be together with their loved ones..  

For some other few it’s a different time.. it’s a time to
fight for survival against bitter cold, poverty & hunger.. it’s a time to
hold on to the shivering children in the bitter cold, a time to promise them
for better food, a time to hope for a better tomorrow that will bring
employment, education & equality..  a
time  when poverty wouldn’t force anyone
to become a burglar or beggar, when hunger wouldn’t force anyone to kill
another..

Sarve’ bhavantu sukhinah, sarve’
santu niraamayaah

Sarve’ bhadrani pashyantu, maa
kashchit dukh-bhaq bhavait

May everyone be happy, may
everyone be disease free,

May goodness abounds everywhere, may
suffering affect none..

Wish you all a very happy new year..

A public school teacher was arrested today at Nairobi International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the CID (criminal Investigation dept) with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” the Police Commissioner said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle.’”

When asked to comment on the arrest, authorities said, “If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”

In today’s world of MBA’s, the old fashioned Love-Letter is being replaced by such ‘Corporate’ Love-Letters, go ahead and read on.

Dearest Ms. _____,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you. Since the 25th of December 2008. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 24 th of December 2008 at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough, to be taken care of all your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without any further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

After being married 25 years, one day I took a look at my wife and said, “Honey, do you realize 25 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.

“Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things!”

Now my wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed….

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis!

* Lesson Number One *

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

* Lesson Number Two *

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

* Lesson Number Three *

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!

* Lesson Number Four  *

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human - enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn’t know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

** Equation 2 **

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man - earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn’t earn money = Donkey

** Equation 3 **

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn’t spend = Donkey

To Conclude: From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn’t earn money = Woman who doesn’t spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have: Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

PLEASE IGNORE IF U R MARRIED…..

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’

The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’