And the life goes on…
“Lo uski khabar bhi aa gayi, ab
tum kab khush khabari suna rahe ho?” came from an aunty on a family function
“Yeh to shaadi ka doosra saal hai
na, koi good news?” from a cousin sister at another family get-together
“Yaar, ab bahut ghoom phir liye,
now you should settle your family.” Advice from an elder brother
The world is full of our
well-wishers ready to offer their unsolicited advice at the most inappropriate
times… Those who have known this page must have read my previous musings on how
my concerned peers used to coax me to put an end to my celibacy & enter the privileged fraternity of the presumable happily married men… Marriage puts an end
to all their woes but for mine with their considerate interruptions that continue ceaselessly first into our social life
& then advancing into the private realms..
”tum dono ki aapas me pat rahi hai ke nahi? Is he too
bossy? Is she too nagging? nahi hum to bas yu hi pooch rahe thhe…. That day Mrs. X was telling that she overheard someone shouting from your flat? Wat
happened?sab kuchh thheek-thhaak hai na, tum dono ke beech me?”
Concocted stories become full-fledged gossips whilst changing places… I have never been able to understand why this mahila-group doesnot invest
their precious time & energy in more productive affairs of the society. Probably
the grim pleasure they derive from such juicy grapevines intoxicates their
minds to the extent of addiction, trapping them into a web of incessant tittle-tattle…
And then, over & above the
most benevolent “Mother-in-law” who turns into a secret spy investigating why
her daughter-in-law is delaying her principle obligation of carrying forward
the torch of their Vansh. I have never been able to understand why these
mother-in-laws consider that the sole purpose of marrying their sons is
propagation of their Vansh by their obedient daughter-in-laws whom they
consider nothing more than the dairy cows.
Why is the world around us so
obsessed with bearing children?
Continuation of species: False,
we have many around, one less will not make any difference
Continuation of your lineage:
False again, do you know the name of your great-great grandfather, nor your
great great grandson will know yours
Purpose of life: if the child is
your purpose of life, what will be
your purpose of life once he is grown up & off creating his own niche?
Belongingness, feeling of
ownership & satisfaction: Aren’t these merely beautiful words that in turn
hide your desire to feel important & respected in the eyes of your child
& an unsaid expectation that he/she will take care of you the way you are
taking care of him/her?
I think that couples have kids
because that’s what everyone else of their group does too. Out of sheer social
pressure & for want of peer acceptance.. The fear of being considered flawed,
being outcasted & may be taunted to the extent that they might start belittling
themselves..
But is this a reason sufficient
enough to trade-off your peace of mind & independance for the rest of your life?
Will come with more on this later but till then just hoping that my concerned well-wishers will give me some respite from their scrupulous insight..
Completely agree.. people are following each other as some rat race about job, kids, etc etc.. no end
nice reasons not to have kids..
never ever thought of them ever..
“because that’s what everyone else of their group does too. Out of sheer social pressure
Here is a mother two beautiful and near perfect children speaking. I strongly feel that my life could have been just as happy without them. The only nag is, would I be feeling this way if I did not have them? I can’t even imagine what life is without children, so I don’t really know if I am qualified to answer this question anyway. At the end of the day, if you cannot think of a reason for why you should have kids, you don’t have to have them. That’s about it. Period!