I just read Robert Frost’s “ROAD NOT TAKEN”, and just loved the concept behind it.So true, such is a state of human affairs that we always long for what is not there and are always careless towards wat we have.After taking a decision and after the consequences we often think that had we done it the other way it wud have been much better. but there is no such thing as “BEST”, there is always a better after a best. we hav to pacify ourselves with the present state of affairs.sometimes a moment comes in our life when it is really hard to make a decision, people often say listen to ur heart, i say listen to ur brain coz practically wat is correct rules the world, telling u of one such incident.
I had a friend , she was in love with a guy whom she met a few months ago. and there was this close family friend who was even her childhood best friend, and the family wanted the girl to marry that friend.Now she was to make a choice, obviously she was listening to her heart and made a choice, but that meant losing her family and a gud friend.She came to me to seek some guidance though she knew that i am a heartless and insensitive crap but she had no one else to talk to. I asked her few simple questions:
1 Whom do u love?
2 Whom do u know better?
3Whom do u respect more?
for the first two questions she had obvuious answers but she was silent on 3rd question. She had to think for a while to answer it and said she never thought seriously abt it bt on my forcing her she said she respect her childhood friend more .So there lies her answer,i said her to marry her childhood friendbecause love is something that can just happen anytime, anywhere and with anyone but respect is something u cant give to all. According to me the real foundation of a relationship is not love but mutual respect and understanding.
finally she listened to her heart and married her love. wat i want to say is never seek conformation for an already taken decision u are just wasting ur and ur friend’s time.And now after 1 year of her marriage she says that if she had agreed to my suggestion she might have been much more happies, shew was regretful for the road not taken….
you have put your thoughts with vehement clarity…nice post,really liked your style…
Your friend is sorry about present state of affairs…what would have happened in case she would have opted for another option is some thing we have to think about. Perhaps, more unhappy…or happy…you never know…so wise thing is be happy in your present state.
Want to post a contradictory view. Its wise to follow the heart a number of times. Taking your example forward, had your friend initially married the childhood friend, she would have always longed for her lover. Respect has its importance and unfortunate that the relationship did not work out, but my personal view is to take a balanced decision involving your head and heart appropriately.
HI,
TRUE IT DEPENDS UPON EACH INDIVIDUAL TO CARRY ON THE RELATIONSHIP.KUCH LOG TO MAJHDAR MEIN CHHOD DETE HAIN AUR MERAKEHNA HAI (ANDHERA AAYA THA MANGNE ROSHNI KI BHEEK,HUM APNA GHAR NA JALATE TO AUR KYA KARTE.)
EVERYONE IS ALL ALONE IN THIS LIFE,BUT IF WE DONT THINK ABOUT RELATIONS,ONCE IN A WHILE HUM TAKIYE MEIN CHEHRA CHUPA KE ZAROOR ROTE HAIN.ALTHOUGH WE BECOME STRONGER WITH TIME,BUT NA TO HAMARE ANDER KA BACHHA MARTA HAI AUR NA HI HAMARE EMOTIONS MARTE HAIN.
hi
good ideas but i feel that we should give a serious thought on human relations,specially between man and woman,so there will be no debate left on the subject weaker sex.
join me as a friend.
It is the general tendency that no one remains happy with his/her present life. U must have heard one proverb ” DOOR KE DHOL SUHAVNE HOTE HAIN”. So dont think that she would have been much happier if she would have followed your advice. Even than she would have been saying the same thing to her childhood friend or to others from whom she would have been solicited. Yes one thing is for sure, her childhood friend is unluckey as he failed to get faithful wife which he would have got if she would have married him on account of respect which she had for him.
Apologise for the typos…….
First off……good advise, rather unfortunate that ur friend did”t take it though! Agree with u on the respect part, very very imp in any relationship! But u know Marriage is big gamble, it can so easily be right and can so easily go wrong. Depends on a whole lot of factors,apart karma etc.
As for me have always wanted to be ”responsible” for the decision I make, good or bad atleast I had the I was responsible for the state I am in(we do tend to blame others if anything goes wrong), logic(brain) does not often work when it comes to matters of heart!! And ya it also goes numb when u have fear, take the best foot forward and leave the rest to GOD…..and ya have the satisfaction that YOU took the decision!!