Sometime in last December I was initiated to the romance of blogging. It was indeed a very lively experience. For last many years I almost wrote nothing. Thought then the muse had deserted me, and a frustrated soul, that was my decimated identity in late 2008. Then during the last year 100 odd poems, 15 some short stories, an unfinished novel, some ramblings made me a little aware , although a feeble one. All these things aside, I had a few tumultous relationships; one almost broke me to pieces. And I still walk the fragmented mirror, on the splintered glass I find my traces of blood, a few drops clotted, and the others still fresh and red. From the injured ego, never could one come out unscathed, I was no exception.May be I was always wrong and could not be true to my feelings and innervoice,may be I was not ready to take the plunge or simply I was a coward in not admitting the emotional surge.
This is about my virtual life during the year. I earned a few very good friends, wrote some trash and few pieces that I liked. Wrote in some assumed names, for I thought them inconsequential, they could be credited to anonymous identities. The result was almost a passive sublimation and some bickering within and rancorous insinuations from a few dear friends. Well, I don’t know why I remember the year with passion, for passion was a late start in the inconspicuous journey. I have loved a few, was loved by them, scorned by some, hated by a few and ignored by many. In between ,my first poem collection in English “joy Together” went to press just a couple of days back, thanks to a minor publisher,and it was possible only for my friends in rediff.
In September I thought to call it a day, for I was getting confused, yet carried along for three more months, but never happy. And now it is time to say you goodbye .
In our times of life, we never suffer from lack of vision, how poor our imagination could be. We want to be noted and recognized in our small sphere; being loved, being ignored and being hated could come our way as come the stars one upon one. If I feel bad when I am hated and ignored I don’t deserve to carry my weight along. Then also I can march to my unknown destination with a few company, unperturbed, proud and head high. My unlearning the past could lead me to the next sunrise, where fizz is never gone and the light rays are there after the dark tunnel.
let there be bright days ahead. Let us share our joys,and be with our sorrows all alone.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
31-12-2009
