Amethyst.....so be it!

Mother's Day....

We stirred after hearing the phone ring in the early morning today..... Though I agree, its a matter of perspective what you call early on a sunday morning... 11:30 a.m. of course is not so early by the definition but still...! :-D

Magicman:"Vie..its a call from home... but I think it got cut.. we spoke to everyone yesterday na... then how come they are calling today again... ?!?!Hope everything is alright! Let's try calling back..."

My dad picked up the phone... the conversation went like this...

Me:"Namastae Papa... how are you doing?"
Papa:"How are you doing beta?..."
Me(slightly worried):" What happened... ?Sent off Bhaiya...? Missing him?"
Papa:"Actually beta... its mothers day today so we thought you might be missing mama and wanting to talk to her... right..?"
Me to myself (half-sleep): "When has mama ever known about Mothers day and bothered about it..???!?! This sure is the first one...!"
Me:"Yeah papa give the phone to mama... lemme wish her a happy mothers day!"
Mama:" Hello Beta... how are you? I dont know why Papa has been missing you so much today... since morning he has been thinking about you .... wanting to talk to his daughter... You first talk to him then we'll chat...!"
Me to myself: "Wow! That sure is an original one!!"
Magicman rolling with laughter:"Vie, looks like Papa's been really missing you today... But, I love the way he comes up with such cool reasons to call up ... This sure is an original one, he came up with ... You might be missing mama so we called up...!" :-)

Though I still wonder why he should feel so conscious of calling me up and saying ...was missing you today...generally wanted to chat kid...!:-)

Peace..

Injuries...

"If you were left suspended in the air with nothing near you, you would still manage to conjure up enough particles to injure yourself" - Monster

Hmm .. Monster says (Alright! austere and ricer before you ask me why I still call him Monster, am rechristening him, will call him Magicman 'coz he is one who finds all the things I misplace and who sorts all the confusions I end up ourselves in most of the times:-D )

I have been hurting myself so much over the last few days that I am wary of walking around even in the open. I have managed to hit myself in empty rooms by walking right into the walls in the front of me banging my head there. There are perpetual blues and scratches which I discover only when I feel the pain. And the simple everyday burns and scratches dont even count in all this.

Hurt my knuckles with the heavy zipper of my jacket while swinging my hands on an absolutely freezing night.

Had my thumb nail upturn while trying to clean up.The music board fell right on the my left hand while I was trying to save it from falling on my foot.

Poked some vegetable stems right into my raw nails while cutting some veggies.

Day before yesterday, Magicman was sitting on the chair and working on the comp, while, I was sitting on the edge of the bed and resting the water-bottle on the back of his chair. Magicman moved back and the bottle bumped right into my upper lip causing little bleeding and a huge sore.

Later in the night, sitting on the other chair when I was telling him, with those soulful eyes, "Youuuu hurt me!". When he asked me how with a shocked expression, I decided to show him how by doing the same.The way he tilted his chair behind and the way he hurt my lip. Anyway to cut the story short.... I never completed that since the wheels of the chair I was sitting slipped and I fell "Dhaddddaaammmmm" on the floor, banging my head against the wall and the back of the chair wedging right into my back and shoulders!

I think the only thing that stopped him from controlling his laughterabout the demo of a big wound because of demonstrating the cause of a smaller one was, the shriek and the huge thudddd of my head hitting against the wall. Aaargghhh..... the stupid bump still hurts.

Peace and no hurt....

Badla mausam
Yeh baadal sooraj ko ghere ghere,
Kyon kajrare rang se neele ho gaye hain..
Yeh kachchi kachchi man-mauji alsaai si dhoop
Aane lagi hai simat simat kar khidki ke kaanch se...
Yeh dhuni dhuni rui si baraf pighal gayi hai us kone mein...
Shayad mausam phir badalne waala hai....

Patjhad to kab ki beet gayi...
Shayad yeh basanti rut...
Kuch naye phool khilaane waali hai..
Itne rangon ne apni khaamoshi todi achanak...
Kehte hain basant ritu aane waali hai...
Mausam badal gaya hai bitiya maan ne chitti daali hai...

Des mein sarson phooli hogi kheton mein..
Aamon par baur bhi aa gaye honge...
Aampapad honge aur salone ka achaar, aur jaane kya kya,
Holi ke rangon ki khushbu...
Tum sang chalo gaaon hamare balamji.
Shayad mausam phir badalne waala hai...

:-)
Peace

copyright@2005 c'est la vie

A sunny day!

I am soo sooo looking forward to going out for a walk tomorrow (now its today technically) with Monster.. a bright crisp day... like those days when we would hold hands and walk carefree in the evenings in IIT.. The trees drooping off to sleep and a deer coming by to just scoot again .. him telling me all about "you know vie this song was penned by...sung by... " those so many stories... I fell in love with those stories and then him .. Or... was it the other way round? Did not know it then. Now I do.

And I am sooo sooo hirbernating. I like it in here in my own little world... cozy.. away from everyone. Sometimes.. even myself.

Peace and a cozy cove....

In transit...
The three years just whizzed past me in the train as I boarded it with some 12 pieces of baggage. It was meant to be a surprize and it was a relief else I could have never done the last minute things that I am so infamous for. N was with me. Throughout the journey he kept me entertained between my long snooze sessions.The satpura section is so beautiful in rains. Small springs everywhere and water gushing by. Imagine a dark tunnel and then the moment you see the light water splashing right from those rocks. Some twelve thirteen of those tumbling cascading jharnas as I prefer calling them. Clicked a few pictures too.

Back at home. It was cold and raining hard. The kind of rains I have been dying for. To just sit by and watch. To just smell them. To just see them being a part of my childhood. To just remember coming back from school and speading all notebooks and books for drying on the double-bed.

Four cavities. Pain. Ughh. And of course lectures from everybody (even the dentist huh!) to wear the toe-rings and some bangles and some ear-rings and of course a bindi and sindoor. (Am close to being a christmas tree). Of course have managed to find miniatures of all them.

I do like putting mehendi on my hands 'coz I like the smell of it. Fresh, beautifully dark and deep blackish red. Now its the fading lines that have left their pale yellow signatures all over my palms. I saw someone for the first time in my life asking for hafta. Movies apart I have only heard of it. But the men who were asking for it from this mehendi lady seemed so ridiculously incongrous to the surroundings in the big broad daylight. Big and burly yes.. scary?? Am not so sure. Thick, bushy mouch. Almost rolling on the streets with a waist pouch hanging from his pot belly. The guys were almost fit to be comedians on the big screen but villains in real life.

Last month was the famous saawan month according to Hindu calendar. Rakshabandhan is never so nice without bhai being around but of course I graduated from getting 50 paisas from my brother as gifts to 150 Rs/- Now that is a big achievement since I got it from my dad who is actually not entitled to give me anything :-)

Its an amazing feeling to wake up and not having to rush to office. Even better is a feeling of not having to go to office for another few weeks months and so on, and the smell of aaloo paranthas wafting in the house. The topping on the cake is being woken up by Monster's calls.

Reading "Everthing Happens for a Reason". The first fifty pages are subtly hilarious. So am hungry for more. Lets see how it turns out ahead. But I quite like characterisation in the book. Beautifully and subtly etched.

My comp crashed and now when is it working I am off to the hill stations. Am off to Delhi tonight and then to Manali and Kasauli. Life seems beautiful though a bit forlorn for now.

Peace...

Everything happens for a reason ...

Its a sinking feeling...I donno what I am going to do from now on..... Its a liberating feeling...Its a feeling that constricts me sometimes....Dunno where life takes me from here. We humans are such crazy people na.... Get attached to the place and people whom we grumble about for most of our lives while we are there...I know it is for better that I am leaving.... I have beautiful things and life to look forward to... Whatever was here was close to bitter but could have been better but as the gift they gave me at my farewell party "Everything happens for a reason". I found the love of my life here and spent some of my best times with Mosnter till now... bitter sweet memories.... What more could I ask for from life?!?!? ... I can only look upwards with eyes full of gratitude and love.

Why did I not feel the same leaving this place?When I left my first job it was like my whole world seemed to be breaking to pieces... all friends... a good job ... and today it just felt like, yes-i-wonder-why-i-never-did-that-long-ago!

So long.. Peace, Love and Farewell till our paths cross again...

Wings...

Oh!! You one eyed sleek black beeeyyyoootiii sitting there and staring in his eyes...Oh! how I wish I were there...!!! Saw him through your eyes.. the crooked smile and an amazing hawww!! If not for you how would I have connected to, with, him. Seen it all..Seen him pace around, smile and wave and weave words on the keyboard...!!!
Muaah! Webcamsssss I louuuuvv you!

AoL is happening at its pace... simple and interesting.. long way to go...

The first day, I missed my meals 'coz I was running around with work the whole day! So when I was being asked to be aware of everything around me, all i could think of was hunger and my empty rumbling stomach!:-D

And the second day, when I was just feeling where do the voices like aa, oo and mm originate from within me, the mosquitoes decided to buzz their way right through!

Apart from the jokes, I like the classes. Its not been exotic but I would say an above ok experience. Simple yet deep. Looking forward to learn the sudharshana kriya today.

Am humming a song..... Oh yeah! this soul feels like singing bits and pieces of this song aloud! :-D

All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go..
I'm standing here outside your door..

So kiss me and smile for me..
Tell me that you'll wait for me..
Hold me like you'll never let me go..
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I have got wings today!:-)) So here I go... Swooooossshhh.....

Peace and the whole blue sky to one and all!

Another weekend ....

Saw Finding Forrester... a slow movie... a movie which breathes life slowly and invites you to join the pensive mode of its characters... talks of life... Not just writing about it ... not just living for ideals but living life .... I loved Sean Connery the first time I saw him in Entrapment ... He has grown on me ever since! An innate talent ... the right teacher.... the right guru.... a guru who can probably learn a few things himself... and is open to the idea.. Sometimes wonder what it would be to be able to write and live in your own world... be in a state of ecstacy... and draw people into that world...

Couldn't sleep for a long time after that... Put on the Cds from Monster's collection ... changed the first cd after deciding that i did not want to hear any of the 150 songs saved on it.... put on the second one just to realize that its the same song from the unplugged cassete which we both listen to often.... Never knew its title but recognized it once it started..."Kiss from a rose"... Switched it off... and slept again with the room drenched in the blue light of TV screen lulling me to sleep in some slow thoughtfulness ...

Was speaking to a friend a few days back and we were talking about passions... specatator passions and all consuming indulging passions... both being different .... one helps apperciate something else in the world and the other one helps create the new in this world... Don't we all have this horrific fear of mediocracy... They say excel at whatever you do... What if some people do ponder over it and realize that they really can't excel at anything.. How would they then live with this mediocracy being aware of it all their lives...? Is it that they did not try hard enough or is it that they never could do it in the first place... Howard Roark and John Galt seem to be smiling at this conversation. N'est ce pas?

Finally managed to join the Art of Living classes... Heard the introductory talk yesterday... sounded the repeat of what other have told me about the course... the instructor wasn't a very effective speaker...And the lady who was supposed to be the example of people-who-have-benefitted from this course was a bundle of nerves.. Sweet looking but not someone who I would put on a pedestal in an auitorium to inspire people to join a cours.. Or may be I got prejudiced by the body language of that lady...

A voice, irritating and a harsh voice like one of those people who always ask too many questions rose from the crowd and asked ... "How does breathing connect to living in the present and always being happy... From what I know it is awareness which brings to a humans happiness and wisdom...." The answer given was 'coz, "it helps you destress and brings you to the state of relaxed alertness"... Umm... Not a very satisfactory answer I must say... but the instructor I think knew that already! So, he gave an example .. If you to tell someone about an Indian sweet in Russia it can only be described and not experienced... The gentleman asking the question was asked to talk to the instructor separately such that the time of the whole group wasn't wasted... Am not sure that that was the way to handle a right question ..... Anyway, I am joining it for the experience of it... I had made up my mind much before that...

Went alone to a juice shop and sipped Cheekoo shake alone! (Suds you would know this one juice shop for sure I can bet!:-) ) on Saturday... Went to my favourite Italian restaurant too....

Shopping list is ever increasing... 8 salwaar kameeze sets, a pair of jeans, some four shirts, three t shirts and some tops and of course a couple of other things which just cost me a bomb!!:-D Some small thrills of life!

Happiness to ye all...

Wake up !!!!

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine was probably right... whoever said that sleep is the best remedy was also right... :-) I laughed for half an hour listening to the stories of the programs on Pogo and then about this chhuppa Rustum... as long as they are innocent pranks and they are fun I am game for them! And slept lots over the weekend...

The clouds seem to be heading upwards... But they always miss out to burst here... they just touch this city and go... went to the beach on Sat night with V.. am impulse... watched the blue moon.... the halo almost looking like a tiara on it ... sea was furious or excited... american corn is too sweet but juicy and soft.. not like the way corn is supposed to be...walked around with V... we are such different people who wouldn't understand each other and fight at the first instinct but we are friends anyway.... five years is a long shot at that...

Nafisa was dead... they said... is that all ..?? Relationships that affect people in walks of all lives at the end of the day?? An elderly person's reaction a few days later confused me..."Today I read about Nafisa Joseph."... I nodded expecting that he would probably express sympathy for a young life ending this way...He looked at me...."You know! She was indulging in boyfriends...dumping one after another... Is that the way girls behave..!!" ... Couldn't imagine earlier this was the reason for his being so indignant?!?! Now, I knew... literally gaped at him for a while.. and then realized that he can't be blamed for it probably. "Uncle.... she was also a very well-known animal rights activist.. Probably after Maneka Gandhi one of the few people I knew as that.. And uncle, people like you and me, should not give so much emphasis to whatever media says. They tarnish and glorify personal lives of celebrities.. we should try to sift reality from concoctions"! He nodded at me still not convinced... Would I blame him for his reaction?

I like "jaali ki windows"..the wooden ones and not the metal sliding ones... I like open houses with balconies....the houses which open up to a street which is...streets where you can see some signs of life from close by and not by hanging down from balconies... No, I don't like flats...

And how many times I have slept off while talking over the phone.. yeah.. even long distance calls.... did it again today morning while Mister Monster literally tried shaking me up to wake me up from the other end... Vie! Vie! Wakehhup!! and switch off the phone! Hmmmm... yeah... a faint murmur...beep...back to dreamland..:-) I love sleeping late in the mornings... Nothing in the world can beat it..!!!

Long long time....

One whole year.... hazy expressions taking the winding route of words.. as a vent, as a diary or as musings....I wonder how, I forgot the milestone on that road.. May be it was important to spot it or may be it wasn't ... but somehow, I just didn't remember that I had completed a year of blogging...

A lot of strangers on the way .. paths crossed... hazy details... friends made... some people who were there and solidly there just happy to be a part of the journey... to share whatever came straight from the heart in an occasional exchange... Some of them drifted into world of their own for reasons known and unknown....Yes...each one to his/her own... it was good while it lasted... like those flowers in full bloom.... in beauty and bounty before withering away... I do wonder whats up with them and care for them in a very different sort of way .... hoping life is being good to them wherever they are... but the journey is hopefully not over yet.... to know my own thoughts and clear them up and grow up in a way..... to learn from others...a journey and pit-stops in between..

Nice people in their own way... so many of them...started with Pompy, Starfest, Suds, Ankh, Pallavi, Wandy, Jo and Selina and then so many of you out there slowly trickled in.. Speed, Austere, Amit, Heretic (You know what! I like this name better), Patrix, Ricercar, Richa, Jottingz, Chai Bhai, Justzen, Pleo, Ashwini, Ashavari, Venkat, Somersault, Sandy, Khotta,Yogustus, Lamya, Loup, Aqua, Adi, Sugzter, Yugesh, Megan, Melo, Nobody and everyone else who name I might have missed.... . phasing in an out at intervals but I guess what matters is that they were THERE somewhere at different points of time in my life left a thought that stayed..... A wee bit of thanks to ye all and if I have missed out anyone my sincere apologies....

And hey you! (you kow who you are, if you are reading this), when you wrote to me, "I really hope you make the right choice or decision, but then, how would you know its the right decisions right? there is not answer sheet at the end of life .... to tell you which choices were right and which were wrong ... lol :-)" Whenever I will think of that decision, I will think of you .... More so 'coz I took the decision and found the answer which I found out to be the right one, straight from the answer-sheet... Hope you find answers to all your questions too.....

So Peace, happiness and a good snooze to ye all!