SoulCurry

Aj showed me the chipped skin on his shoulders. Pinkish tinge. His positioning was second level in the whole set up. He was practicing from day one every day without fail. But he couldnt go for the final day. I asked him how many matki's his group broke.13 he said...and paused..then said with a glint in his eyes..it must've been fun. Then he laughed and in his Amitabh Bachhan impersonation sitting on the chair with his head pushed back and right leg over his left...."Aaj zindagi mein pehli baar mein matki phodne nahin gaya..hain!"
That was last year...This year...hes out there breaking matkis..positioned on the ground level....most probably winning most...and stories to regale us....bruised all over..yet the happiest

And to love: a god
And to fear: a flame
And to burn a crowd that a name

And to right or wrong
And to meek or strong
It is known, just scream it from the wall

Ive willed, Ive walked, Ive read
Ive talked, I know, I know,
Ive been here before

Hey, now we wont be raped
Hey, now we wont be scarred like that

Its the sun that burns
Its the wheel that turns
Its the way we sing that makes em dream

And to christ: a cross
And to me: a chair
I will sit and earn the ransom
From up here

...Live..."Selling the drama"...

She is from Chennai with a hitch in spoken hindi. Simple..neat..long hair tied in plaits..salwar kameez..tam girl. He keeps his hair long..black tee and a wrist band..can be a 50 cents fan or blink 182.
He sympathized with the fact that she and her mom had to leave town and start all over again in bombay.
She regaled him with her unfortunate incidents in hindi speaking.

She asks him if its 'dikhao' for 'to show' then why do some people say 'batao' for 'to show'.
Beats him...beats me...lol

I am generally not a bus person...but for some incidents like this. Now if i was cupid it would ve been an added advantage.

Anticipation has the habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there�ll be some love
Tonight there�ll be a rawkus, regardless of what�s gone before
I want to see all of the things that we�ve already seen
The lairy girls hung out the window of the limousine
And of course its fancy dress
And they�re all looking quite full on
In bunny ears and devil horns

I want to see all of the things that we�ve already seen
I want to see you take the jackpot out the fruit machine
And put it all back in
You�ve got to understand it you can never beat the bandit

And she won�t be surprised and she wont be shocked
When she�s pressed the star after shes pressed unlock
And there�s verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that it says is that you�ve drank a lot
You should bear that in mind tonight
You can pour your heart out but her reasoning will block
owt you send her after nine o clock

You can pour your heart out around 3 o clock
When the 2 for 1�s undone the writers block

...Arctic monkeys..."view from the afternoon"...

He has a beautiful tattoo on his arm..an octopus�a real beauty...colored with green and reds�a piece of art.
But he is not proud of it.
He got it done ten years ago in a drunken stupor.
He hides it beneath the sleeve of his Tshirt. He said that was the last time he ever drank.
Something he wants to forget but cant. Something ugly which left a beautiful imprint behind.
His fingers are long like claws. He said they call him �crab� in the water world.
He is not creepy but he gives you the creeps.
He has seen death and the dead.
He may almost be a ghost..with ghost tales..a ghost who dives...and I�ll never know coz I�ll never find out.
Its difficult to accept that mathematically we have so much in common that we could have been the same lives.
Sometimes on my way...i wonder what if he�ll pass me by on his bike.
But I think he wouldn�t stop to say a hello�and im glad that he wouldn�t.

Some people just fade away before you realize it..leaving behind nothing but a speck of memory.
And the memory remains

Does it feel so bad when you�re taking a drag
And when you�re looking at the world with dying eyes?
When you stare at it dead and you�re giving it head
and all those things you say you love never come alive.
If it feels so bad...
Bad magick playing off of me.
Oh no, I don�t wanna be your friend.
Bad magick laying into me.

...Godsmack..."Bad magick"...

How much do you love him?

eky: What would i answer if they ask me that question? Help me!!!
jo: But will they ask such a question?
eky: They do. This one guy said that he loved his wife so much that he learned spanish for her. They were mighty impressed by him. And he got his Visa.
jo: Isnt that very filmi!!
eky: Thats what they like 'filmi' answers. So what do i do now?
jo: But eky you do love him..infact a lot and sure you can say that. Think about the women who have arranged marriages...they must be preparing answers like for Miss India contest or something. The same fake answers ...like they all love Mother Teresa.
eky: I know i love him very much but how do i define how much? What exactly is 'how much'?
jo: I don't know...but i know this for sure gal...that you don't have to fake a bit. The way i have seen you in the past few months. You do so much to see him happy. You cook his favorite dish just the way he likes it... You even do things like typical-hindi-filmi-heroines..the perfect bahu of 'saas-bahu' fame..even when i tease you to no end. You do crazy things just to see him laugh. What else is love.
eky: But isnt that, what all women do?
jo: No..theres a difference..you do all that and more out of love for him not because you have to.

Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that I�ve tried
And your love is better than ice cream
Everyone here know how to fight

And it�s a long way down
It�s a long way down
It�s a long way down to the place
Where we started from

Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that I�ve tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to cry

It�s a long way down
It�s a long way down
It�s a long way down to the place
Where we started from...

...Sarah Mclachlan..."Ice cream"...

My way home
Neo always makes fun saying he needs a Visa to visit me... i live in a different land...
You have to cross the sea...though not a fierce one and then its a different world..cleaner and greener.
And at night as you cross the sea..while sitting in the train i wish the time would stand still as theres never enough time to grasp all that romance. Heard that song...
Stars shining bright above you,
Night breezes seem to whisper I love you
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
The land from far look like a sheet of sparkling stones..diamond..ruby...emerald...amethyst...spread on the mountain. If only you could reach out your hand and pick some. As you get closer to the land the buildings lit up like candles in a church. The reflection of street lamps from the bridge in the water remind me of my pa's home in his native land...the smell of water....the late evenings i used to spend with Mumsu and my cousins at the banks of the river watching the stars...the bridge across the river..all we could see were the headlights of vehicles. A lot of the romance in me was brought out by Mumsu since childhood. She used to make me see...grasp...and feel the beauty in nature.
So many sketches of that bridge with vehicles especially a haath-gaadi (hand cart) with refrigerator on it...'wierd'..i dont know why i used to draw that but now i wish i should have kept atleast one of those sketches as a reminder of those childhood days.

"Looks like I've lost my will to carry on, my friend" she said
And you can hear it in my whispered cries for love
I need your blissful touch to carry me away again
So can we roll tonight, roll through your desert, can we start over and just...

Run away, run away tonight
It aint no victory, but I don't care, I don't care if its wrong or right
We can just run away, run away tonight
It aint no victory but I don't care, I don't care if its wrong or right

"Looks like I've lost my will to carry on, my friend" she said
I'm like a posse that's been ridin' for days
I've got the scars to prove that love has had its day and it's way with me
So can we roll tonight, roll through your desert, can we start over and just...

Run away, run away tonight
It aint no victory but I don't care, I don't care if its wrong or right
We can just run away, run away tonight
It aint no victory but I don't care, I don't care if its wrong or right

This ain't no night to be on your own
You've got to know where you're coming from
To know just where you're goin', lord
You've got to know where you're coming from
This ain't no night to be on your own

Run away, run away tonight
It aint no victory but I don't care, I don't care if its wrong or right
We can just run away, run away tonight
It aint no victory but I don't care
I don't care I don't care I don't care I don't care
Run away...run away...run away

...Live...."Run away"...

All happy families resemble one another;
every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

I heard that twice in the same week..1) in a trailer of an upcoming Indian film...2) in a norwegian movie.

It's the first line from Lev Tolstoy's Anna Karenina

One of the first among the books i bought in Bombay from the Russian Book Fair.
Feel like taking up Anna Karenina again. I think theres a right time to read a book. I have read a lot of classics but sometimes i feel i should have read them now instead of..when i was 13. I was very mature as a kid but there are things which you understand more when you have a broader perspective about life. When you have seen more..and learned more..you understand better.
I didnt like 'Great Expectations' 'Anna Karenina' or Maxim Gorky..the one i didnt enjoy at all. Maybe i should try and read Maxim Gorky now. Except Chekov..he made sense back then too.

All happy families resemble one another;
every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

It's so easy to get screwed up when you are a teenager. Even sometimes with an understanding family...even with the best of schools. It's like one slip when you not looking and you are messed up.
When i think of it now..I don't know if i survived without a bruise or maybe it was one of those bruises which you dont realize you got..unless you dig deep.
Moving to Bombay...a new city a cosmo unlike the small towns you had spent 13 years of your life...new school..new classmates..trying to fit in and make friends which i wasnt very good at. Living with Rash & Dips..bearing Rash's anger/jealousy towards me. She surely tried to make life hell for me...then moving again to a new apartment..not having anyone as a friend to talk to..having an imaginary friend...no neighborhood kids...just Mumsu to call a friend...hating free periods and breaks in school..coz ill be always left alone...only companion were books..lots of books...Complete collection of Sherlock Holmes cases by Arthur Conan Doyle...Enid Blyton's 'Malory Towers'...Life could've been worse...i guess i got lucky somehow...

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly...Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly...Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

...Beatles..."Blackbird"...

Call it Slut
She was around 5�10�..straightened and highlighted hair in a shimmering black saree..pretty much the centre of attention in the crowd. I had not seen a transvestite social butterfly before.
When they started playing the movie, I realized the reason why she was there....she was the main character (on whom the movie was based) She tells the director to name the film �Slut� and that�s how the title reads �Call it slut� one of the four movies showcased at the last day of Kala Ghoda festival..and the best among them. The story was a day in the life of Laxmi Tripathi the main protagonist...a transvestite�accepting and living it up.
She makes an interesting statement in the film..she says..�Most people don�t know the difference between love and lust�. I don�t think Im ever gonna forget this line..rings so true and most people don�t even realize it.
Have you ever heard Ali Azmat..ex-frontman of the band �Junoon� live?� He is a true musician�.very creative. I loved his performance�talent with stage presence. Its been a while since I ve had such a good time.
Rock shows are free lately..when did the organizers got so rich..i wonder. I�ts not even a crappy one..one of the biggest..�Great Indian Rock�. But the line-up was bad. But I waited till the end coz the last band performing was �Freak Kitchen��not that I had heard them before but their lead frontman was Mathias Ia Ecklund. Now who is this guy..you may ask. This is the guy I heard in jazz utsav last year performing with Jonas Hellborg. Now Mathias not just plays great guitars..he has the gift of the gab. He�s the funniest rocker I have ever heard on stage. He had had me in splits at �jazz utsav� infact I still remember the jokes he cracked. So it was worth the wait..the music was good�the humor was intact..though the doses were in lesser quantity.
I don�t know whom to thank for the way this month passed. Thank you February�you�ve been good to me. You had me lusting�.lusting on life :)
And also I oughta thank kutex..for such good company. Should I say �I finally found someone�. Finally have someone to talk to..relate to at work. She loves movies..and is open to all kind of music�atleast my kind of music..just like eky. And she knows cheapest quality markets for shopping�be it clothes or shoes. Do I need more�no ways. Say I can almost marry her...

S R S R | R G | R M ||
S M G R | S G | G M ||
R G R M | G M | G P ||
R P M G | R G | M P ||
G M G P | M P | M D ||

At a glance it doesnt look scary..not a bit..does it.
Now imagine it to be 20 lines instead of 5 lines in one sheet of A4 paper.
And the left hand fingers...in the order of index...middle...ring-finger....one..two...three...
these three make music with the help of the bow in your right hand.
So we got the left and the right hand at work..and remember its the first two string from your right and your eyes are reading these alphabets while your fingers are making music.

Now how do you make sure you are not skipping any alphabet or any line. And not to forget the watering eyes..it has nothing to do with a bad eyesight(though you wish..coz it'll make a lesser fool of you)..but because of the fan up the ceiling.
Your class mates don't know how to react coz you are almost playing the third string instead of the second. And you cant help it coz your eyes are monitoring the book instead of the bow. Top of that your eyes water like a tear damn bursting. So what do you do...you pretend you have a bad eyesight and you dont have a hand free to wipe those tears ..while your head is screaming 'dyslexia'

Welcome to the violin class!!

Dear Parna,

I tried... infact real hard. Even at my sporty best i couldnt come up with anything. I pondered over it...wondered how difficult can it really get. Its just a matter of putting down my thoughts...but guess what there wasnt any thought...i was just plain BLANK.
I analyzed the situation in hand. I tried to nudge the romantic in me. I wanted her to atleast create something on this subject. Nothing happened i was again BLANK.
I thought maybe i cant because im thinking practically...then why not come up with some practical points. Well i waited for my brain to react but again nothing...BLANK.

So basically i dont have any ideas left on 'perfect lover'...

but the rules are as follows..so if anyone interested carry on...
( Most of the people i would like to tag are already tagged...or they dont keep a tab on me to realize bout this new post ;)

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. You have to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

2005 quite an uneventful and dull year. Except if you count me switching three jobs as being interesting. People still ask "If im still on the same job"..this is usually their third question..first and second being.."How are you?" and "Whats up?"
I can count the good happenings of 2005 in a breath..they were hardly some. The first half had the Kerala trip and the Mark Knopfler concert.
The sad happenings..pathetic job...had an experience in 'depression'..Neo left for US n eky went to Ghana....leaving a big empty space generally categorized as 'humor n fun'
Second half was still better..new job...or should i say a better job....some new faces...
Meeting Anthony Brothers..not that they are celebrities..they are Neo's friends but i was so happy that day after having a chat with them..it was like as if Neo was back. I must be truly missing that ass n his silly sense of humor so much to count that day as an eventful day.
Then the most amazing jazz concert...more because it was almost rock. Lets leave the details for some other day, it was one helluva great experience.
Return of eky...yea it really felt like one of those cult movie titles. We finally had our good days back. Days of masala pavs..dose of bombay blues...night outs with the usual philosophical crap.
Then her wedding. I splurged like mad for her wedding. And we all were there together after a long time. Imagine six girls stuck in one room with just one loo for two days in Ahmedabad and not to mention it was an indian wedding with all that jazz. But it was the most amazing wedding. Though i wish eky was amongst us when we were having fun at her wedding functions.
I guess eky's wedding gets the top spot for the most fun event of 2005.

Day dreaming
Chain smoking
Always laughin
Always jokin
I remain the same
Did I tell you that I love you
Brush your teeth
And pour a cup of black coffee out
I love to watch you do that every day
The little things that you do
Each moment is new
Freeze the moment
Each moment is cool
Freeze the moment
I wouldnt wanna be
Anywhere else but... here
I wouldnt wanna change
Anything at all

...All Saints...."Black Coffee"....