Indo-Canadian Experiences

I can�t see clearly now �

We, the residents of Toronto and its suburbs, are experiencing winter in all its glory (read: fury!). It has been brutal. Temperature has �dipped� (I would have used the word plummeted) to -38 degree Celsius, according to Environment Canada. If you are like me and numbers, positive or negative, don�t make much sense to your grey cells then maybe this would help �if you are outside without gloves for a few minutes your will experience frostbite.� All I want to do is hibernate.

As if the bone chilling wind wasn�t enough, there�s snow. And, when there is snow you can be rest assured no matter what road you are on in Toronto you are going to sit in it. Even turtles seem walking light years faster than your 6 cylinder, mega horsepower motorized vehicle. Day before yesterday, it took me 2 hours 45 minutes to reach work. By the time I reached, I was ready to turn back but decided to rest for a while and then make the arduous journey home.

Weather � cold or hot � is crucial to Canadians. It is a great ice-breaker! If it were not for weather, I think many of us wouldn�t know what to talk about. Across local convenience stores and human lines outside washrooms in Tim Hortons, people walk right up to you and say �It is cold, eh?� They reinforce the coldness, just in case you had failed to notice. �Yeah,� you nod as your water runs out of your nose and eyes.
�I heard it is going to go down even more tonight.�
�Really. Good Lord, can it get any worse.�
�Actually yes! I heard on the radio this weekend we will experience snow storm with winds gushing upto 60km/hr.�
� Geez!�
�I know. I can�t remember it being this cold � over the last 6 months.� (It should be noted here that Canada actually does have 4 seasons)
�oh well, bundle up (read: look hideous) and enjoy. It ain�t gonna last forever."
"Yep. Before you know it will be spring" ... as you close the door of the public washroom at Tim Hortons.

And, it is this last cheery note � hope - that keeps us here � together � rain or snow.

Me and my car

There are things in life that one believes (easily) only happen to others. Broken teeth, dandruff, falling in love with film stars, being chased by neighbourhood dogs and of course, broken cars.

I smugly believed that I was away from all these. However, a few days ago the impossible happened. We were driving down Kennedy Road and had just slowed down at a stop light. All of a sudden the car stopped. When a gentle push of gas didn�t show any improvement, I let my foot go flat on the accelerator. The move didn�t produce any kinetics.

After about 5 minutes of standing there the car sprang to life. The wheezing noise made it clear that our car was doing it for greater common good and had only enough strength to take it on to the side street.

Had to wait about 2 hours before the toll truck finally showed up. Later we found out that the entire transmission system had broken down.

It was only later sitting in the tow truck with my car trailing behind; I noticed the name of the street I had turned on to � Sufferance.
Who said life isn't funny??

(S)he who teaches, learns.

�What in God�s name am I going to talk about for TWO hours?� This thought ensured that not only did I not get any sound sleep but also I woke up at 4a.m. unable to coax my brain to stop thinking.

I envisioned many scenarios. Everything from my fainting to students walking out of the class. Thankfully none �actually� took place as I taught (or as we say here �facilitated�) my first class.

They looked at me puzzled as I walked into the room. Surely, I wasn�t in the class with them in the first semester. By the time, I reached teacher�s desk I am positive I heard about 30 silent �hello, where are you going? Who are you?� cries in the air.

Next thing I know is that I was talking � and they were listening. They had questions. I had answers. We had a great group discussion. I gave them their assignment.

All in all, it was simply wonderful. I loved every minute of it. It felt like I was always meant to do it.

Can�t wait for next Tuesday morning�that is partly also because of the glorious weekend that precedes it.

People, first thing first, it is good to be back. Thanks a lot for keeping the counter on the top left corner running during my absence. If there is one thing I totally absolutely detest it is stopped counters.

Wish you all a very happy new year.

I was with some 100 odd people watching some 8-10 people in a dark room with light coming in from a small hole when 2005 quietly came upon us. Yes! I was watching �Meet the Fockers� at my local hall. I know, it is deplorable and you need not say more.

Let me jump right into the ritualistic question that follows �Happy New Year.� Did you make any resolutions? I did and that also brings me to some profound conversations of 2004.

1. Walk like a girl. Correction: Walk like a human.
(This resolution comes from a conversation I had at a lunch table over the best spinach ravioli in town!)
L: Have you ever walked besides this woman (pointing her index finger towards ME)?
D: No. Not really
L: I am about 5 inches taller than her and I have to literally run to keep up with her.
D: She is one of those �lunatic jackrabbits� then!!!!

2. Brush my teeth every night for THREE full minutes.
(This resolution comes from a forced conversation I was a part of lying numb in my dentist�s chair)
D: So have you been brushing your teeth regularly?
R: uh..huh
D: I don�t think so!! (with a tone you are caught stealing)
R: Trying hard to communicate �How dare you?� but the drill is making me numb
D: Well, I think you do brush but you have to at least brush for THREE full minutes otherwise you will have to see me every three to six months.
R: Huh?? But quickly contracted my eyes to a meek yes before the drill rendered me like a vegetable.

3. Write. Write regularly. Write better.
(This resolution comes from a conversation I had with myself standing in front of a mirror while brushing my teeth)

4. Cook. Bake. Make. Whatever
(This resolution comes from the conversation I had with a friend who had just baked some cookies and refused to give me any!! Did I say a "friend?"
R: Awesome! Can I have some .. one?
F: No!
R: Okay. I will bake my own cookies.
F: Let me know. I will make sure I read the obituaries.
(Added: I did bake some chocolate chip and walnut cookies over the holidays ... Ahh!!! They were the best things I have ever tasted!)

Now, I have made other resolutions as well. Most of them are carry forwards from last couple of years. I Will spare you those details.

Meanwhile, good news (and the reason for my missing in action) is that � I took the first exam of my dreaded Canadian Securities Course � and surprisingly I cleared it!!!!! (Applause! Applause!!)

Also, my first day of teaching is next Tuesday (Jan 11 � which also happens to be Rahul Dravid�s birthday!) I am really looking forward to it.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Veer-Zaara
When you are a desi (still clinging on to desi roots) in foreign land � a much awaited, highly anticipated bollywood movie does get you very excited. And, if it has names like Yash Chopra (the king of saccharine love stories), Shah Rukh Khan (I am not his greatest fan!!), Rani Mukherjee etc. attached it becomes even more exciting.

Last Saturday, along with 7 other desi friends, I ventured to see �Veer Zaara.� We had to book the tickets in advance. Smart idea considering the hall was bursting at seams even though it was the 9:30p.m. show.

Now, if you haven�t seen the movie, don�t let the next couple of lines discourage you. The movie has nothing new to offer. There�s almost nothing plot wise that you haven�t seen before. And, even though I love the music of Veer-Zaara, if I had to sit through yet another song in the movie I probably would have committed suicide right then and there.

Despite all this, the movie is visually a treat to watch like all Yash Chopra movies. Just watching the vibrant colours (such a contrast to the blacks and greys I encounter everyday here) made me long for India. And, how I wish, I could have all the salwar-kameez sets worn by Preity and Rani.

Hmmm� so one down �when are Swades, The Rising and Black releasing??

Some people bring everything into perspective for you by the work they are doing. Their passion speaks for their vision. Their commitment doesn�t ask for awards. They don�t vie for glory. And, what�s more they tell you that life is not just amassing wealth for yourself but the true meaning of life lies in helping others.

Last Sunday, I had the opportunity to hear The Man himself. Stephen Lewis is UN�s special envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa. I had read about him. I have been following the work he is doing spearheading the battle against AIDS. I have admired him. I have heard about him.

So, you can imagine how I must have felt seeing him in person. An orator par excellence, he captivated everyone in the audience. No wonder, he was chosen as the Maclean�s Canadian of the year.

The cause he is working for is huge. And, we can all help. Please visit: www.stephenlewisfoundation.org

With each passing day bringing Diwali a little closer, my longing to be in India is at an all time high. I miss India with all its sounds, sights, smells, colours and quirks. I miss it even more especially during festival season � all those nights spent walking from one pandal to another during Ganesh Chathurthi; all those days spent shopping before diwali, all those hours spent arguing which rakhi looked the best. The excitement of buying new clothes, the joy of meeting friends and sharing food, the anticipation of getting gifts, the thrill of being there when someone opened their gift�the lights, the decoration, the music, the spirit, the joie de vivre. I miss it all.

Well, it is Diwali again � and I will spend the better part of the day at work. But I have my crystal clear memories of days spent there and a lifetime to enjoy them.

A novel way

Could there be a better way to help our friends south of the border?

"Every country has the government it deserves." -- French monarchist Joseph de Maistre (1753-1821)

Enough said.