A sort of homecoming

And you know it's time to go
Through the sleet and driving snow
Across the fields of mourning
Light in the distance
And you hunger for the time
Time to heal, desire, time
And your earth moves beneath
Your own dream landscape
...
The wind will crack in winter time
This bomb-blast lightning waltz
No spoken words, just a scream...
Tonight we'll build a bridge
Across the sea and land
See the sky, the burning rain
She will die and live again...Tonight
And your heart beats so slow
Through the rain and fallen snow
Across the fields of mourning
Lights in the distance
Oh don't sorrow, no don't weep
For tonight, at last
I am coming home, I am coming home

Permalink /   /    

Happy New Year!!

A Happy New Year to everyone! It has been a quiet last 3 weeks on the blog but I've been too lazy caught up in the holiday spirit lately. The hiatus was not a planned one - a dodgy phone connection at home managed to somehow impress upon me the need to step back for a while. Thereafter my general laziness (the cold weather here is my excuse) has resulted in a complete break from blogging. There were a lot of messages/comments left behind so I'm using this post to reply/acknowledge my gratitude to everyone who did visit/take time out to wish me for the festive season.

Lilac, Sandhya, Krithika, Synonymous Mutation, Elaichi Chai: Thanks for the wishes. Hope you all have a great year. As explained above no exotic excuses for taking this break. Just lazy me with an unpredictable phone connection :)
Ritu - Thanks, hope you have a great year ahead too. Since you seem to have already seen ROTK, now I have another reason to be jealous!
Vie, Neha - I'm doing great. This hiatus is mostly just another lazy start to a brand new year :)
Reiya - Hope you have a great trip. Have fun & come back with a whole bunch of new stories to talk about.
Aqua, Drumster - Fellow aquarians !! Hope you had a great time bringing in the New Year. For a change I had a quiet time at home this year. I must be getting old since I enjoyed being in my senses :)
Niren - Hope you are dealing ok with the delay of the ROTK premiere by now. I too saw that BBC in its program 'Talking Movies' has ROTK as the top movie of 2003. So I'm sure the wait will be well worth the wait.
JustZen, Pallavi, Wormtongue, and W-bug - Hope you all had a great time & may 2004 be filled with lots of happiness.
Patrix - I'm still waiting for ROTK to be launched here in India. It does deserve to be watched on the big screen so the review will have to wait a while I guess.
Aashish - I don't really know of other blogs dedicated to Gandalf but there are some websites that focus on information about Gandalf. If you do want to find out more The One Ring is really the place - to both catch up with the latest about events related to LOTR and to read up on various characters.

I've missed jotting down my thoughts here and family members had to bear the brunt of my rants a bit more in recent weeks. Most of my attention centered on the two events that were close to me heart- the coming of age of our cricket team & the Bhutan operations against ULFA. I'll be writing more on these topics soon & am looking forward to catching up on what the rest of my blogroll are up to. So guess a fair bit of reading will kickstart my year ahead...

Permalink /   /    

Just a bit of vanity...

The voting has started for the best Indian blogs under different categories at Indibloggies from this week. I haven't really followed this attempt of grouping blogs but a lot of effort seems to have been undertaken to ensure a fair poll. And I've finally discovered that Jivha has nominated me as one of the best male bloggers !! Wow, now this could give me some serious ideas you know... like saving the world or something :-D Anyway even if you don't care a lot about voting or awards, the nominations do serve as a nice list of popular blogs to visit. Especially for people(like me) who don't make much of an effort to discover new blogs. Also found from my referrer's logs that someone's nominated me at the Indian Category of the Asia Weblog Awards, 2003 too. So that makes another list of blogs to discover this weekend :-D

Permalink /   /    

A condom quiz

Test your knowledge about condoms with this small quiz(via BBC News). I only managed to get half of the q's right...

Permalink /   /    

Tall Tales: Love, lies and a mighty river

Our trip to my birthplace Dibrugarh was to check up on my family's vacant house but it evokes very different memories now. The start like most times when I was in charge, was quite chaotic. But thanks to an alert bus-conductor we got off the wrong bus in time! And (luckily) amidst all the sceptism S expressed, it turned out to be the only blooper before we located my mom's ancesterial home. My Anai(grandmom) stayed there with my Mama(mom's younger brother) and his family. Anai independent as ever, lived in a seperate part of the house and insisted on running her own kitchen & vegetable garden. She also maintained an active social life centered around the local Namghar¹(see picture).

She was happy to see us, much more for the company than to try out her cooking skills as she said half in jest. And soon enough S & Anai were yapping away over our 2nd breakfast of the morning about newly discovered common friends in Shillong, where my grandparents stayed many yrs back. Since I was a bit unsure how my relatives would relate to my oddball friends their equation was reassuring. The main purpose of the trip however involved more work than we bargained for. The beer bottles, cigarette butts & crab-shells we found on the roof of the vacant house led us to suspect that ULFA activists may have taken shelter there. So we had to buy an extra lock for the door and then call on the neighbours to keep a lookout. And only after cleaning up the mess and making sure we did our best to secure the house, was it time to sample Anai's cooking again.

At lunch we finally met my Mama who gave us directions for the nearest ghats. But in the afternoon the docks were packed with boats and people, so we decided to explore the more remote parts instead. Soon we found just what we were looking for - a place where the water levels were low and the sandbanks of a river island were nearby. Off went the shoes and we rapidly crossed the knee-deep stretch of water, only to see more such islands on the other side. Since we wanted to see the main body of the Brahmaputra we decided to try walk across these stretches. But some parts looked a bit deep so we hesitated as neither of us could swim. Fortunately just then a herd of buffaloes came up behind us and the man leading them knew where one could walk across. Following them we reached the last of these islands which was a vast expanse of glorious white sand. Quite tired I lay down amongst some small shrubs - the only vegetation for miles around.

S faced with all the white sand and blue waters, wanted to do something silly enough to remember that particular moment by². So he started to carve a sign on the sand for his estranged girlfriend G. He looked serious so I urged him to make it a gigantic 'monument'. Then as he was intent on doing it all by himself I wandered off to the bank facing the Brahmaputra. The massive current actually made a roar as I sat down alongside its banks. S soon joined me down on the bank and we spent time exchanging stories about the river. Sifting through the sand on the edge, we could see tiny golden specks left on our palms. Our ancient tales do mention a tributuary where gold prospecting was done so we got real excited for a while. But common sense prevailed and we realized that it was some other mineral :)

We sat by the bank talking about how Sankardev, the great cultural hero of Assam, once swam across the river when it was in full spate during floods. Later feeling a bit reckless we tried to gauge the force of the current by holding on to the banks and letting our lower limbs be. Luckily the edges of the river didn't have the same force and with some difficulty we held on. After concluding that crossing the river won't happen for us in this life, we gave up that experiment. By that time the sun was low on the horizon and S's monument looked surreal amidst the golden sand, orange skies and the various hues the sunset made on the waters of the Brahmaputra. Quite spellbound staring at the sun disappearing into the river, we only made our way back when dusk gathered and it became dangerous to locate the exact spot to walk back on.

Postscript: After the trip, Anai accused us of being drug-addicts in a letter to mom, apparantly under Mama's influence. Possible reasons: S being from Shillong & the ghats being a source of dope. My parents simply dismissed the allegations and warned them to not mention such insuniations to me. Later on after finding out about the letter, it took me a while to come to terms with the mistrust. With time I learnt that my tolerance has it's limits and didn't extend to people showing disrespect to friends. Looking back now I think my folks knew and understood that, much before I did...
[Note: 1. Literally "House of names(of God)" in Assamese. They are prayer halls established by Sankardev which also serve as a community meeting place.
2. When me & S met up last yr. after a while, among other things he asked if I remembered this trip. I took the hint and asked him about G :)
3. I tried later to be normal with Anai since it really wasn't her fault, but it took time to let the past go. Mama isn't as close now though I forgave him a while back.]

Go to Top

Permalink /   /    

Quote query...

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth." - Benjamin Disraeli

I think that the second part of the quote if taken as a universal truth would justify every criminal who ever felt like committing crime. Or is my contention just an indication of rationality ruling over emotions ? I know that for creative pursuits and innovation being in tune with emotions is essential. But can it easily be an indicator for truth for everyone at every situation? I for one am not always free enough of my prejuduices to spontaneously take reactions as truth everytime.

Permalink /   /    

All for work productivity...

Since research finally backs my long held beliefs, here's a simple but addictive game(flash) to increase your job satisfaction !
[note: The game is a bit gory and doesn't in any way reflect my love/concern for animals. But then it's just a game :) ]

Permalink /   /    

Some things don't change...

You're the cheerful smile,the one that's truly happy with almost everything you do and would never change your life.

What Kind of Smile are You?

Permalink /   /    

Is remorse overvalued ?

I've always held the conviction that remorse could be a part of the process of rehabilitation for criminals but this makes me think that it's vastly over-rated in our society. Gary Ridgway, a former truck painter who killed 48 woman over a period of 16 years, today struck a plea bargain that will spare his life, in exchange for a confession and life in prison without parole. Some of his more revolting statements in the confession:

Apparantly in many cases, he had sex with his victim before strangling her. Also invariably he killed the women just after meeting them the first time. Since it was D.N.A evidence that proved without any doubt that he had killed those women it is surprising that a plea bargain was worked out. How can remorse save someone who is the most profilic serial killer in U.S history from execution? And if he isn't deemed fit for execution then who is ? If you have the answers then please enlighten me...
[note: An account of his various crimes can be found here.]

Permalink /   /    

So where is my Amelia ?

George Limpert thinks his wife, Amelia, is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen(report). Just as he did the first time when he saw her. Actually not much has changed since they got married. They're still there for each other, constantly hold hands and are very much in love... though they both use wheelchairs now. After 82 years of marriage George Limpert, now 102, says about his wife who is now 100, She was everything I wanted, and that's all. Apparantly this life-long relationship had a few false starts. It took George a year to win Amelia's heart, and even then her family didn't approve. Their engagement was broken 3 times before they finally decided to elope.

Now talking about theories on their longevity their children say it's Amelia's good cooking while the couple credit apple cider vinegar, which they mix with honey and water to drink. Speaking about what made the marriage a success George says that "You have to cooperate with one another. Everybody has faults."Amelia too keeps it simple "You have to stick together. You can't disagree about everything. It would never work.". The children also mention her patient and loving nature, his solid work ethic and the couple's faith in God. That just sounds like a perfect life I guess...

Permalink /   /    

Running to stand still...

Sweet the sin
Bitter taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out
You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice...
  - U2(Running to stand still)

A friend from Pune just forwarded a letter by Thohe Pou, a P.H.D student in Pune University about an incident that took place a month back. Here are the relevant details :

In the above incident after Jacob was lynched by the mob, only the northeast students there came to the aid of the two who survived. Just recently I wrote about another incident of racial abuse in Pune involving my Mama(Uncle) and this case now only illustrates how widespread and dangerous this phenomenon is.

I know our eyes are oriental, the clothes we wear probably different and the morality that binds us alien. We do talk openly, frankly and when angry our reactions are naive, simple and there to see. Just like tribals & minority groups all over the world we also eat many things most people don't. None of these differences make us any less Indian. India's football, hockey teams are full of the Baichung Bhutia's & Sanggai Chanu's who play their hearts out for their country. Many unknown, unsung heroes have fought for our freedom in the Independence struggle. And countless soldiers have given up lives in the wars to defend our country (Kargil examples). In fact the Naga Regiment was among the first ones used to charge the hills in Kargil when our Bofors guns failed to breach the enemy strongholds. Those notches in the Naga daus(short swords) representing infiltrators killed in hand-to-hand combat were for you too.

Unlike the couple Bono sang about we aren't haunted by the needle of brown sugar, though the feeling of hopelessness is the same. It is a deeper, subtler malaise. Something that is perpetuated everytime you snigger at, stare or tease us about our looks. And your indifference doesn't help either. So don't just empathize/take pity but make a conscious effort to mix with us. We are wary and incidents like this'll only make us stick to our own. For once do take the responsibility of being the majority and make the first move. I'm very sad and there isn't anything else to do but lament and make this plea. And yes, to be on guard everytime I go out at night...

Permalink /   /    

The Tao of my blogging...

Realised today that I completed 5 months of blogging sometime last week. Considering that the first blog I ever saw was my own, this has been one long lasting whim. Most things on the blog have evolved on their own, aided by the influence of all the wonderful people I've met in blogosphere. They are all on my blogroll and the interaction with them has been the best part of this whole indulgence. Anyway this post is about some of things I've learnt to watch out for in my blog. They aren't guidelines or rules because as a typical aquarian I'll either flaunt them or (more likely) simply forget about them. But they do concern me at various points of time.

1. Ranting vs. Political Correctness: Ideally I don't want the issues raised to be cloaked in either. But at times I do get frustrated at the banality of it all and use figures of speech that make my posts a rant. Hopefully I manage to bring out the reasons for me getting worked up before launching into one. I don't think that in trying to place a balanced picture too much of political-correctness has crept in, but it still remains something to watch out for.
2. Concern for roots vs. Parochialism: I do tend to write a lot about what happens in the N-E so this is a bigger worry. A lot of the events/news is negative and doesn't show either the center or the political setup there in good light. As it is my credentials to try provide insights are very little, apart from the love I have for my people and the desire that things get better. All I can say is that the process of researching and writing here actually often ends up making me understand the regional dynamics more clearly.
3. Writing for self vs. for an audience: I certainly started out writing for the joys of seeing my words come up in this space. A lot of my posts still have that as the main motivation(typically all sports posts!), but interaction is nice and does influence me. That hasn't yet made me post anything I'm not interested in talking about but it sure has made me care more about the presentation bit. Guess that's about the level of influence I'm comfortable with.
4. Personal vs. Pundit blogging: I just write about the things that are of interest to me. This isn't & probably won't ever be a blog on what happens to me on a daily basis. But I do like talking about memorable personal events /experiences at times. Being a member of a generation lost to an insurgency that also ended up claiming the lives of immediate family and friends is my reality. As is belonging to a tribe with a dead religion & language and a subsumed culture, a part of my identity. So there will be a continued focus on political/cultural events in the N-E. For me movies, music, sports and scientific discoveries are just as important(if not more) as any other 'serious' issue so my posts will also reflect that. Further as a rule I don't trust anyone whose preferences in the subjective realm are not expressed.
5. Optimism vs. Pessimism: Rather than forcibly be infused with either, I would like my posts to be in touch with reality & facts. Hopefully that won't stop me taking a stand on issues where pertinent info may be missing and a subjective call has to be made.
Bottomline: The most important of all concerns is to not let any of the above make me take myself too seriously. I like the time spent on blogging to be relevant personally but this is not a crusade. More a journey of self-discovery with friends than anything else.

Permalink /   /    

Diwali enlightment...

Last weekend was hectic and after all the socialising I came to the following conclusions:
1. My assamese has truly gone to the dogs. Some years back I used to be puzzled when people reverted to English/Hindi when conversing in their native tongues. I know that our generation does use more than one language to communicate but it seems to have serious effects in the usage of native languages. Somehow groping around for the right word while indulging in small talk in your own tongue doesn't seem right. And now sadly that's my level of fluency too...
2. I truly love my fellow northeast folk. Except on an odd bad day I've never whined about Delhi's culture, only noted & adapted to the ways in which it was different from my own. But after spending the weekend exclusively with tribal people - aquaintances, distant relatives & strangers, those differences seem heightened. Still wondering when was the last time I laughed, rambled and generally let my guard down so easily with complete strangers here...
3. Ahoms are very beautiful people. You can trust me to be unbiased on that :) My reflections probably are just a reaction to meeting some umm... very artistic people over the weekend. I guess this present fascination for anything connected to my roots calls out for more interactions with my community here. Otherwise there is the imminient danger(?) of falling for the next Ahom girl I properly interact with...

Permalink /   /    

Call for Mela support !

The nominations for the next Bharateeya Blog Mela to be hosted by Ankh is still open. So please do try participate and make this event a mela rather than a collection of posts by the same people each week. Guidelines to nominate your favourite posts of the past fortnight are here.

Permalink /   /    

Tall Tales: Of Indians red, native and east...

My favourite Mama(uncle) was in town for Diwali this time, and for various reasons this triggered lots of old memories. As he was just a couple of years older than me (& quite a bit shorter !) I was never allowed to call him Mama. We pretty much grew up together and often spent lots of time at each other's place during vacations. Our favourite activity then was to camp outdoors in tents and pretend to be Red Indians¹& Cowboys around campfires at night. We then often argued over our roles as both of us wanted to be Great Indian chiefs who'd fight against all odds for native lands.

As it happens with time we both went our own ways and hung out with different people. But when we met after a while, there would still be that rush to tell each other what's happening in our lives. So it ensued that in our teens, talk would shift to things we shared a common interest in - girls, Taekwondo and philosophy. I remember how he'd take me along to get a 2nd opinion about his latest GF. And also his futile attempts to impart in me his enthusiasm for Taekwondo as he needed a capable sparring partner. In more serious interactions after I ruled out(unkindly?) reading Richard Bach we soon settled on Ayn Rand as a subject for debate.

In our 20's our educational backgrounds and career choices have meant fewer contacts, but the interactions haven't changed much in nature. Our conversations now are dominated by events in the NorthEast & within our Ahom community. Much like what aqua wrote in an old post, with age we are increasingly becoming drawn to our roots. Actually he probably was waiting up for me to grow up and be more aware. He has been working with the tribals of Nagaland for the last 10 yrs in various seminars/workshops on self improvement and anger management. And in 4 months time he would complete his doctorate in psychology on that subject. This time around he dropped by after taking part in a month long workshop at Vancouver to First Nations, among whom there is increased levels of discontent & lawlessness. His seminar in the workshop was on ways to reduce stress & channel energies to positive things.

In between enlightening me on existing ground realities in Assam and Nagaland, Mama also spoke of feeling rootless in India & abroad. His experiences weren't too different from mine but a recent incident involving our own East Indians² stood out. He was walking home through a less frequented road in Pune when some people(not local & possibly North-Indian) made some racial remarks from a passing car. Since he didn't respond they got emboldened enough to return and try manhandle him this time. At that point something snapped in Mama and before they knew too much the 2 guys that tried to grab him lay down in a heap. After helping the injured back to the car, the two people that had stayed back in the car panicked and drove off. Later Mama searched the streets of Pune without much success for the attackers with his Naga friend. While narrating this incident he mused that all the years of expounding theories on controlling anger strangely abandoned him that night. Maybe just like he said once "...we may not speak our tongue, or know our religion/culture anymore, but the blood of our ancient warrior forefathers still flows in us"³. Though I normally claim that my peaceful countenance and adherence to reason shield me from similar conflict, at heart I know it's more my physical presence than anything else. And I still remember how as a kid my parents often had to cope with complaints of brutality by families of neighborhood bullies...

[note: 1. Native Americans(or Indians) is the right term to use for people who lived on the North American continent for 32,000 years before being banished to ever diminishing reserved lands by the white men.
2. The Native American people still refer to us as East Indians(as per Mama).
3. Our language Tai-Ahom is not in common use anymore. And only a handful of religious/cultural traditions are practiced in their entirety by our people now.]

Permalink /   /    

HAPPY DIWALI !!

    

Have a great time everyone :)

Permalink /   /    

Why I'm an insomniac...

Your soul is bound to the Fourth Totem, Solomon: The Owl. Solomon appears as an azure feathered owl. He embodies wisdom, judgement, reason, and stability. He is associated with the color azure, the season of autumn, and the element of water. His downfall is farsightedness. You are most compatible with Ravens and Monkeys.
Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?

Permalink /   /    

Sek Yi gives me hope !

Sek Yi, at 122 years the oldest man in the world says that a mixture of tobacco and prayer is the secret of his longevity(report). His wife Long Ouk, is equally wizened at 108, so further proof that his methods work. All pretty good news since I haven't been able to shake off my indulgence in one of those two habits :)

Permalink /   /    

Tall Tales: Shackled to the shadow...

New Years revelry a decade back, I was trying intently to focus on my next step in the pitch-black night. Up ahead S was tottering towards both sides of the road as we both endeavoured to reach the safety of our room. By the time I reached the hostel S was already attempting to open our room door. Suddenly a torchlight flashes directly into my eyes from below. After using up my limited stock of Assamese expletives I peer down to check if it is some senior student. Just to be aware in case this becomes an issue. After all our hostels followed an archaic system of forced respect to seniors. Since I regularly took them on in private or in hostel meetings this wasn't really a big concern. But it turns out to be our cook who's sitting by the wall clutching a desi liquor bottle.

I was too drunk to argue with his plea so sat down next to him as asked. After borrowing a beedi I asked him why he wasn't drinking with the rest of the attendants. He said sadly that the drinking wasn't for fun anymore and asked me what most people from a rural background do on meeting me at first "Dada tumi Sankari niki ?"(Brother, are you a follower of Sankardev¹). Like the library assistant who refused to take fines from me, he too brushes aside my contention that I had nothing to do with Sankardev. My shoulder length hair evoked many reactions (Drug-addict/rebel/wild character) in college but this was the most novel.

The normally reticent cook seemed desperate to talk, so I sat there while he spoke about how our carefree ways reminded him of his youth. By that time S too joined us after giving up his attempts to open the door. Trying to cheer up the cook I then offered the remainder of my whisky, telling him that we were done for the night. But that seemed to touch him in some way for he started sobbing. It was a strange sight to see a grown man break down, particularly because he was such a big man physically. In between incoherent sounds he spoke of why he didn't have the will to live any more. And of a night more than a decade back when in a drunken state he had raped a young girl in his village. He had then turned himself in and undergone 10 years of rigorous imprisonment, but he still relived those moments of shame every night now. I tried to tell him that life has to go on but wasn't really sure that was the right thing to say. Quite clueless, we sat for a while listening and then left him there after giving him our stock of whisky.

We later inquired about the incident with the other attendants. Found out that the victim did manage to move forward with her life and was married off later. Our interaction with the cook didn't change much... it was as non-existent as before. I remember feast days when no one(not even the attendants) would butcher/skin the ducks and hens. It never ceases to amaze me why people devour meat with relish but act squeamish about killing what they ate. As in home I had to take that responsibility in the hostel. The cook had then taught me how to kill a duck/hen mercifully². Seems that I did it wrong all the time till then. I never got to make him talk much after that New Years night. His general appearance and behaviour seemed of a man not alive by much. Though he tried to live a normal life and even played football occasionally, soon enough he'd lose it all and try drink himself to death. I didn't exactly feel compassion since he got what he deserved. But his state was a grim and constant reminder of how heinous a crime rape is. Also that as long as a part of sanity lived, the punishment even after a jail sentence lies within each moment of life thereon...

[Note: 1. Priests and followers of Vaishnavism taught by Sankardev kept long hair. They are held in reverence in Assam, particularly among the rural population.
2. The secret was to hold both wings together at the base to expose the heart below. One proper blow there meant instant death rather then the slow suffering other methods caused.]

Permalink /   /    

Train millipeded !!

A train was brought to a halt in the mountains of Japan - by a swarm of millipedes(report). Millipedes up to 6 cm's long covered a 400 metre stretch of track near Osaka, western Japan. These insects favour dark conditions and this strange incident occurred on a shadowy upward slope, on a local train line. The single-carriage train, carrying only two passengers, skidded to a halt after crushing a lot of the insects.

Permalink /   /    

Costs of Dipsomania !

A nice flash Drink-o-meter that claims to calculate the money you've spent on drinks over your lifetime. I know Drumster for one will be interested :)

Permalink /   /    

A 'foreign' interpretation !

Just found this online application which illustrates the funny consequences multiple translations between languages can have. An example:
Original:(Last stanza of 'Song to the siren')

After translation(10 times at one go):

You can find some great examples at the above link. But almost anything you try turns out funny. Looks like the underlying Systran software needs more work :)

Permalink /   /    

A song in my head...

Long afloat on shipless oceans
I did all my best to smile
'Til your singing eyes and fingers
Drew me loving to your isle
And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me
Let me enfold you"
Here I am, here I am, waiting to hold you
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you hare when I was fox?
Now my foolish boat is leaning
Broken lovelorn on your rocks,
For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not,
Come back tomorrow "
O my heart, O my heart shies from the sorrow
I am puzzled as the newborn child
I am riddled as the tide:
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or should I lie with death my bride?
Hear me sing, "Swim to me, swim to me,
Let me enfold you "
Here I am, here I am, waiting to hold you...
  - Tim Buckley(Song to the Siren)

Permalink /   /    

Sex and the Holy City

That's the name of a BBC program that accuses The Catholic Church of telling people in countries with high rates of HIV that condoms do not protect against the deadly virus(report). The Vatican has been historically opposed to contraception and has always advocated that people change their behaviour instead. Their views seem to have inspired Sushma Swaraj's policy on tackling the AIDS bomb we are sitting on. But now the Church has gone even further, it is actually telling people that condoms do not work. Some of the more ridiculous comments to be presented in that program were the following.

The actual facts as per United Nations Population Fund & UNaids:

World Health Organization(WHO) has already condemned the comments and warned the Vatican it is putting lives at risk.

Permalink /   /    

What makes an ideal partner?

Just another of those cross-gender surveys detailing the top ten factors in a potential partner.(report)

	Women:	Men:
1	Sense of Humour(89%)	Sense of Humour(89%)
2	Personal hygeine (84%)	Personal hygeine (84%)
3	Intelligence(83%)	Intelligence(76%)
4	Education(70%)	Good Looks(75%)
5	Shared hobbies & interests(68%)	Education(70%)
6	Good Looks(62%)	Shared hobbies & interests(68%)
7	Financial solvency(60%)	Financial planning ability(40%)
8	Financial planning ability(52%)	Financial solvency(35%)
9	Good job/career(42%)	Hair colour(33%)
10	Hair colour (33%)	Good job/career(26%)

[note: The % of people who rated these factors important are given in brackets]
The results are a lot more similar than I assumed they would be...

Permalink /   /    

Zen: Silent Lucidity !

In ancient times travelling Zen monks when arriving at a monastry could challenge the resident monks for a theological contest for food and shelter.

One night, a monastry was occuped by two brothers - a wise monk with two eyes and a foolish monk with one eye. It was raining hard and a travelling monk knocked on the door. The wise brother suggested that he have a contest with his brother. Just 5 minutes later the contest was over. The travelling monk entered the room, bowed and admitted defeat. The wise brother asked: "Tell me what happened?"

The traveller replied: "We decided to debate in silence. I went first and showed a single finger signifying the Buddha. Your brother showed two fingers, meaning the Buddha and his teachings. I replied with 3 fingers, including the followers. Your brother showed me his fist proving that in reality the three are one". With that the poor monk ventured out into the stormy night.

Just then the angry foolish brother entered and fumed: "That man was so rude. We decided to have a silent debate and the first thing he indicated was to put up a single finger up meaning, "I see you have only one eye'. So I put up 2 fingers out of courtesy to him, meaning, 'I see you have 2 eyes.' But the guy put up 3 fingers telling me that together the two of us have 3 eyes. I got so mad, I shook my fist at him, indicating:"If you don't stop talking about eyes, I'm going to punch your lights out'"

Permalink /   /    

Happiness all in the genes !!

The top factors governing happiness according to the latest research:
1. Having a genetic propensity to happiness.
2. A good marriage.
3. Having a wide circle of valued friends.
4. Not expecting or desiring too much.
5. Doing someone a good turn.
6. Having faith.

The other keys to happiness were to stop comparing your looks with others, earn more money and grow old gracefully. Apparantly little evidence was found linking intelligence with happiness :)

Permalink /   /    

Bon Mots from my favourite aquarian !

[Snoopy trying to sleep on top of the doghouse for the first time :)]

Permalink /   /    

Tall Tales: A tale of Bus rides...

My earliest memorable bus ride was as an 8 yr old in the oil city of Duliajan in upper Assam. It was just another school day for me, though my parents were concerned and took time deciding whether I should attend classes. I only vaguely remember some talk at breakfast about a bandh call given by tea garden tribals. I learnt the full details once I boarded the bus. A lot of talk by the older boys about rumours of some vehicles being attacked by tribals with bows & arrows. By the time we crossed our colony and reached the highway, I too was excited at the thought of dramatic things happening. The bus increased its speed when the tribal villages approached and our conductor told us to lie down & keep away from the windows. I had a hard time complying with his warning and dared to peek a couple of times thru the windows. But I didn't see anything interesting. Some time later at the morning assembly the Principal addressed us about the whole issue. He also held aloft a tribal arrow which had struck our bus. Apparantly it was poisoned !

I remember another journey 7 yrs later, during the time Assam's insurgency was at it's peak. In our bus rides to school we were slowly getting used to army check-posts at every important traffic junction/bridge, making us literally crawl through the city of Jorhat. There was an air of resentment towards the army who we saw as outsiders. Almost everyone my age or older had heard tales about how the army was torturing the youth and raping our women folk. I confess my sense of Indianness were then at their lowest ebb. Those times made me hold on to my identity as an Assamese and an Ahom-Tai much more closely than any time before.

Anyway this particular day our bus got diverted in the center of the town. Someone tipped off the driver that a large battalion of armymen was occupying a street ahead. Despite our protests(we all wanted to see the encounter) the bus took a different route. I remember straining my ears to try hear any distant sounds of automatic gunfire. Some boys crammed their necks out of the windows, trying to catch a glimpse of imaginary insurgents/armymen. Later that evening when we returned from school and passed that street we saw bloodstains in a side alley. That was my first real sight of insurgency related bloodshed. Some of my school chums mused that our guys(ULFA) would have taken a few of those armymen along with them. To our disappointment our driver interrupted our speculation by announcing that only the 3 insurgents were killed.

Some 5 yrs later in the same town, another incident happened around a journey, this time on a college bus. Well actually the journey itself had very little to do with the incident. It was one of our infrequent bus rides to town, on a day we had cash enough to spare for the bus tickets. We frequently walked to town when broke, which was often enough. Most of the journey me & my friend P(Assamese, Scorpio) were busy calculating where we could afford to eat out. The remaining part of the time we were busy trying to convince some guys that sharing a smoke is a very noble act.

The incident took place just as we were about to get off the bus. We heard what seemed like a very loud cracker going off somewhere near. Not too perturbed we were about to make our way to the cheapest joint we knew in town. But in the distance P saw some guys running towards the bus, so we stopped. Some students got down, ran towards them and then continued on to where the sound came from. We preferred to wait by the bus door and asked the driver to keep the engine running. No pretensions of gallantry or bravado. Just self-preservation. The fleeing students told us that a bomb had been thrown at a posh restaurant they were in. From what we could make out it seemed the owner, who we always suspected had links with insurgents, had an argument with some ULFA activists the previous evening. He had then pulled out his gun and chased them off since they were drunk & misbehaving. The bomb was retalliation. Since no one got hurt, P wasn't too impressed with the incident telling me that their food was lousy & we never had any money to go there anyway. Just a mental note spoken out loud. Affordable food joints were a priority; safety of our friends a concern. People associated with/involved in misguided acts of anarchy neither...

[note: 1. ULFA gave the call for a Swadhein Assam(Independent Assam) in the 1980's to liberate Assam. Since some of their reasoning had some historical truth, their cause held an emotional appeal for the youth. That appeal has now steadily diminished over the years.
2. There is another memorable incident involving a bus ride which will be covered in a Tall Tale later.]

Permalink /   /    

Why I might be a diebatic...

This report claims that Bamboo shoots, one of my favourite traditional delicacies might soon be classified as a risky food. Apparantly the high cyanide molecule contents present in it is not digestible for people having a sedantary lifestyle. This increases the percentage of sugar in the blood leading to diebatic tendencies. The report goes on to state that internationally diabetes is now ranked after AIDS and cancer as the 3rd most killer disease in the world. And that the WHO has advised that every person above 25 years of age should go for diabetes test at least for once in a year. Considering how I hog bamboo shoots that last bit of info seems like a cue for a check up...

Permalink /   /    

Tall Tales: Initiation to horror...

[Caveat: Some graphic details. Please skip this post if reading about brutal violent scenes disturb you.]

I was thinking back on how my reactions were when I first came in touch with the political turmoil of my homeland. By my reckoning that time would be as a 6 yr old in Guwahati more than 2 decades back. I have vague memories of asking my aunt one afternoon why her eyes were all red. She along with my uncle & some city people I didn't know had come to our house seeking some water. I was surprised to see her as she stayed in the city and didn't drop by during the daytime that much. Since they were in a hurry and were generally used to me asking silly question's at inoppurtune times they didn't answer. My mother was wiser(she's aquarian too so maybe that helped) and told me that everyone was here to try close the oil pump stations and have been tear-gassed upon. She told me lots of other things which obviously went over my head but I remember asking her why the police were firing upon the protesters when they were unarmed.

The next evening as I was incurably inquisitive, I remember overhearing my parents talk about the protest & its gruesome conclusion. My Dad was then a junior engineer handling the responsibility of monitoring the pipeline centrally in the control room. I don't remember much about the rest but one horrific incident they talked about stayed in my mind. One young woman had tried to climb up the 12 ft high barbed wire fence surrounding the central pump-station. In the chaos that followed the tear-gassing and the subsequent firing of shots in the air, she was struggling to keep her balance at the top. Unfortunately her long hair had also come undone & got stuck in the barbed wire. She was then fired upon by the police who had issued warnings to everyone to keep a distance from the fences. She lost her grip completely, her hair came off the scalp and she fell fatally wounded into a pond nearby. Some hrs later in the evening the pump station was ordered to be shut down by the authorities and all the protesters courted arrest ending the drama. Her body was only recovered the next morning when local people fished her bullet-ridden corpse from the pond. The mental image of this incident didn't horrify me then as much as it did later when I grew up. Every time during evening walks when I crossed that pond I felt an involuntary shudder...

[Note:1. That protest was a part of the unrest brought about by AASU(All Assam Students Union) to force the Centre to do something about illegal immigrants from Bangladesh. That stir lead to the signing of The Assam Accord. and the creation of the IM(DT) Act (Illegal Migrants Detection by Tribunal) which didn't quite work out later. (reasons).
2. Yrs later my father talked about how his requests for prompt closure of the pumps were not heeded. The reluctance of the people in charge to take the responsibility of a decision in the end led to that incident.
3. Pump stations are usually demanded to be closed in Assam as a sign of protest. Later on when faced with such incidents my father always ordered the pumps to be shut down. In his view the loss of human lives or govt. property in case of violence outweighed the loss of oil production.]

Permalink /   /    

Allure of the sign ahead...

Among the various aspects astrology talks about in describing relationship dynamics between the astrological signs, the one aspect I agree with is known as the 2-12 Sun Sign pattern. The interpretation being that a person of a particular sign would look up to someone whose astro sign is immediately ahead in the zodiacal wheel(e.g aquarius - pisces, pisces - aries). And the sign ahead is viewed to be more symphetatic/understanding to its predecessing sign( e.g aquarius - capricorn). I have come across it too many times in both platonic & romantic relationships to simply dismiss it as coincidence. Some examples that come to mind are: my childhood friendship with M(a piscean) who seemed so tolerant to my crazy schemes, while I'd be dazzled enough by his wisdom to listen to all his whines; also T, the Virgo girl I went out with who just couldn't shake off her ex, a Libran (despite all my excellent astro advice!).

I've noticed that this pattern seems to create stronger bonds in interactions among opposite genders. Those bonds may frequently result in romantic relationships though that isn't necessarily an absolute rule. But in all cases there is a sense of understanding and concern. So each time I find myself emphatising with someone's respect for social opinions/customs rather than criticisizing like I normally do, I usually make it a point to check up the zodiac. Same with the case when I find someone's forgetfulness/ absent-mindedness quaint & charming rather than careless. A lot of times the zodiac in the first case turns out to be Capricorn, and in the 2nd Pisces. It doesn't change the interaction too much since in life relationships of any kind are much more complex, but it does help to know what astro forces are at play. So if like me you think that awareness helps, than you should probably observe the interactions with the 2 signs that come under this patterns influence in your case.

[note: The pattern isn't always that evident in an interaction. And my examples of zodiac traits are generalisations of course. Not every Capricorn is socially conscious or every Piscean forgetful. There are other traits to watch out for.]

Permalink /   /    

Tall Tales: Monsoon delicacies...

[Caveat: Contains descriptions of hunting/skinning frogs. So don't read further if you find that gross.]

I still remember clearly how it all started. Me and my roommate S(Assamese, Libran), were loitering around the hostel in the evening trying to kill time. Like most evenings there was no electricity and we were looking for a room which had emergency lamps. We were quite hopeless in maintaining our own lanterns, which usually broke due to our carelessness. In the darkness we soon bumped into Samuel, a Mizo friend two batches senior to us. He seemed a little startled seeing us. Being a friendly Piscean, normally he would welcome any company at any time. So despite his protests, we were soon in his room trying to figure out what was happening. There we found Z his Mizo rommie busy cooking something that smelled absolutely yummy. Upon questioning Z revealed that he had just caught some frogs, which were then plentiful, as the first rains had just come. Since the meat tasted so good we were soon mining them for info on how exactly to go about catching and indeed cooking it.

By the time it rained next we had made preparations for our own hunting trip. Armed with a borrowed emergency lamp, a stick & some plastic bags we ventured into the fields behind our hostel. The hunting theory was simple, dazzle the frog with the lights and knock it out with the stick. Our motivations for the trip were simpler still, we were broke half the time in hostels & the usual food was terrible. The first trip was a major success, though the frogs proved way too resilient. They would just jump out of the bags at the worst possible times. So by the time we finished capturing/recapturing them we were totally drenched in mud & slime. We called Z to show us how to skin the frogs as it seemed a process learnt best watching. The skin being all slippery with slime & toxins which protects the frog from predators. The secret I soon learnt was to make cuts at the right places and then pull it off. The hind legs were the major edible part & are considered a delicacy in Southeast Asia. Of course since we were a hungry/greedy lot we ate everything.

We initially cooked in our rooms to avoid gossip. But soon enough some of my Assamese friends found us out and wanted to try it too. Most of them thought we were just pulling their legs as the meat tasted exactly like chicken. Just a bit softer with thinner fibers. So the next time we returned from a trip, we made it a point to call them as I was skinning the frogs. They didn't like watching it but started to believe us then. Soon enough we formed a reasonable group of people who would take responsibilities for our weekend feasts. Me, S and 2 more guys would go hunting in the evenings. Then I would take up the skinning bit as the others didn't have a clue and usually ended up torturing the poor frogs. Since we were more in numbers we ended up cooking in the Mess Kitchen. That we would do after everyone has eaten to avoid trouble. The better cooks among us soon got the hang of cooking frogs so they took that responsibility away from S & me.

Things didn't stop here of course. Being a residential college with 8 boy's hostels, word soon got around. Before too long everytime the rains came there would be the odd sight of emergency lamps forming crazy patterns around the paddy fields & forest areas behind the college campus. The nearby villages had a fright initially amidst the power cuts but as we were largely quiet maintaining the stealth of our hunting process they got used to it. As the groups of hunters grew we had to steadily go further into the forest to get any decent no. of frogs. But faced with that prospect the less desperate quit and our group soon was back in business with our weekend feasts during the monsoons.

[Note: People normally don't eat frogs in Assam. It is considered a delicacy(rightly!) among certain tribes in the N-E. All my hostel-mates who tried it ended up joining our group. That group included Sikhs, Bengalis, Biharis, Assamese, Naga, Mizo, Karbi, Garo and Khasi people.]

Permalink /   /    

A time for nostalgia

I'm starting a new section of posts about my experiences growing up in Assam. These posts will be purely personal and any commentary on the regional dynamics is only accidental. Since I'm bound to romanticize these memories, they will be under the tag Tall Tales. Also apart from telling you that I was generally clueless & all over the place, they are unlikely to hold too many personal insights. Just that the posts on the N-E are tending to become rants or are too political in nature so I wanted to balance that by recounting moments more personal.

Permalink /   /    

I'm a Pantster!!

Find Your Writing Personality!! brought to you by Quizilla
[I need to reduce my page load. That's my excuse for doing more quizzes this week :)]

Permalink /   /    

Cable blues...

All my favourite cable shows are now finally off the air after this week(Frasier, TAR, CSI, 24, Robotwars). So tried to watch the first episode of C.S.I Miami today and was disappointed. The new location can't explain away that much glamour, lack of substance and silly sentimentality. Maybe I'll get used to the new cast in time but the original series was so much better. Todays plot didn't really live up to normal C.S.I standards. Just seemed like a hi-tech NYPD Blue episode with David Caruso now the lead forensic expert. C.S.I isn't the same without Grissom...
Nothing much else to write so I stole this quiz from Starfest's blog.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while adults might just accept that, I know something's gotta change. And it's gonna change, just as soon as I become an adult and get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child? brought to you by Quizilla

16 is kind of old for an inner child so maybe I should lighten up a bit :)

Permalink /   /    

Gandalf is compassionate !!

Took this interesting test(What Shapes Your Personality?) by Emode that claims to tell your nature by your judgement of wavy lines, shapes, and colors. It says nice things about me so I'll quote them :)

Permalink /   /    

My blog is 'The Star of the Magi' !!

I was indulging in a bit of numerological analysis to pass time yesterday. Like with other forms of metaphysical wisdom such as astrology, lexigrams and tarot cards I choose to believe in numerology when it says nice things about me :) So partly because my analysis passes that test & mostly because I'm still struggling to complete the originally intended post here's what the Hebrew Kabala teachings and the Chaldean Alphabet rightly say about my blog.
Entity: GANDALFS LOGS
Single key number: 8
Compound Key Number :17
Single key numbers represent personality & character i.e. how the entity appears to others. Compound key numbers tell us the karmic destiny i.e. the hidden revelations.
Interpretation of 8: It represents wisdom, learning through experience, stability, patience and responsibility. Well stability & responsibility is not quite me & wisdom is debatable :)
Interpretation of 17: The Star of the Magi is a highly spiritual number expressed by the ancient Chaldeans in symbolism as the 8 pointed Star of Venus. It is the image of love and peace and the entity it represents will rise superior in spirit to the trials & tribulations in earlier life. Yup that sounds like the struggle with my template & the change in blog url to me. It goes on to say that the entity's name will live after him i.e. be immortal. Hmm... since I seem to be in their good books now I'll interpret it to mean that Rediffblogs is blessed with eternal corporate existence :)

[Note:1. The best place to learn basic numerology is by following the instructions here
2. For those just interested in a personal report visit this site ]

Permalink /   /    

Filler Post no. 6 :

Now starfest will disagree :) ... but this report says that one drink at lunchtime impairs your driving skills.

Permalink /   /    

Filler post no. 2

I'm sure you already have this wonderful desktop wallpaper manager webshots. If not you should get it here (link). It gives you 5 beautiful backgrounds of nature, wildlife & scenic locations everyday for free.

Permalink /   /    

Filler post no. 1

Just posting some random links today. My page load has increased as C'est la vie&Nobody has pointed out. By the way if anyone knows how to reduce the no. of posts displayed on the start page please tell me. The existing settings definitely don't work & rediffblogs is not showing any great enthu to answer my repeated mails.

If you like to be on the edge as far as software is concerned check out the latest beta of opera 7.20 b5. Now it supports the marquee element.

Permalink /   /    

Spontaniety Vs Deliberation

When in an intimate interaction what value do you put on the reactions of your mate?. Do you consider the presence or absence of emotional impromptu reactions of love/warmth/feeling as an indicator of how connected you are. Or do you place more value on carefully deliberated views which may by its nature keep you in limbo so to speak for a while. Some factors which can be relevant: natures of the people involved, level of trust between them, stage of the relationship, exact situation under question. Views I've encountered on a personal level range from deliberation being accused of as 'waiting up to see where things stand' & spontaniety as 'just knowing the right word to say at the right time'. Is it just a subjective call that depends on the two people involved or can broad generalizations be made ?

Permalink /   /    

I'm Melissophobic !

Just found out that my fear of bees has a name thanks to this link I found in a post by Enigma. If there is something that you are scared of take a look, its a comprehensive list & quite likely you'll find a fancy phobia to boast about :) Well I don't exactly run around like an idiot when I sees bees but despite lots of conditioning I still have an involuntory reflex that is pure fear and lasts a second or two. Though after that initial time period I'll happily swat them down if they threaten me. My phobia has its roots in an incident in my childhood when I was attacked by a swarm of bumble-bees. Heavily stung & with a swollen head(literally) I was bed-ridden for 2 days and had to be given anti-toxin injections. Of course I can't really blame those bees since it was me who was messing around with their bee-hive :)

Permalink /   /    

T.V drama and real life...

Just catching up with today's episode of C.S.I which has robowars geeks as protagonists. Normally C.S.I has quite believable plots but I find it hard to imagine people involved in the creation of robots being so obsessed with their robots as to committ murder. The adrelenin involved(destruction & personal attachment) is shown fairly well but the scientific process & ingenuity behind the creation is glossed over. Anyway I'm probably more sceptical because the competitors I've seen in episodes of Robot Wars (on Ten Sports) are all so genial, friendly & laidback. They all seemed more prone to mirth & laughter than rage when their robots lose or are destroyed.

C.S.I on the whole though remains quite watchable. I like it's 'science has all the answers' approach. Their details of forensic investigation makes very interesting viewing, particularly because we seem decades behind as far as using science to solve crimes goes. As seen in the recent Madhumita case our police don't know enough to even take a D.N.A sample of the accused to compare the foetus with. In the U.S forensic science as a specialization actually has seen a spurt of interest in recent years thanks to the success of this show. Here in India many Police departments don't have forensic departments & even when they have one they are ill-equipped and mismanaged. Recently my cousin opted out of forensic science (which is just about the last choice of any doctor) citing these very reasons...

Permalink /   /    

Time for a Istari to evolve( thanks to rediff) !!

Seems like Rediff doesn't like all the greyness in my blog. I haven't been able to view my blog all week. I'll changed my url to gandalfwhite now :) I don't like whining about a free service but this strange behaviour has me all pissed off. No replies or feedback from the mysterious dark lords of rediff. I feel like casting a wicked spell on them with my staff :)

Permalink /   /    

Precipitation:

A moment catches me unawares
With its suddenness,
Its abrupt disclosure
of truths long hidden,
beneath layers of self-worth
coated on with a flourish;
Led by a willing world
that sees me fall
within, to the depths
of my own limitations.

(Came across this in an old year-book today. Poetic me... from the grunge years)

Permalink /   /    

Site Update

Well I'm a bit tired fiddling around with the template. So this will have to do ...for now. I haven't quite figured out how to change the frequency of archiving. I know the setting is there but it doesn't work for me. So my page kind of takes a long time to load what with all the long posts. I have sent a couple of mails to rediff but no reply so far. There isn't any option to delete categories after creating them either. So you have to get it right the first time. Not possible for my uranus instincts I like to experiment & make up my mind at least 5-6 times. Maybe I'll just have to expand my sphere of interests :)

Permalink /   /    

Site Updated

Spent quite some time adding blogging tools to the site. As usual I'm having a hard time deciding on which tools offer better Functionality vs Ease to setup. Rediff surely needs to do more to help out newbies.. I think most blogging hosts have links to resources & tools listed prominiently to help newly joined bloggers. Well at least I came up with some interesting sites here in the process of seeking help. One Hand Clapping besides obvious touches of a 'pro' also has some very helpful tips to edit the default templates. Not to mention some incredible pics.

Permalink /   /