So it has been more than a year since I came out with a post detailing my situation. And you know what? I got into the best University I selected! Most of my friends but one was happy. That is when you know who you’re true friends are - in moments of joy and sorrow. Their immediate reactions will reveal their loyalty. I was in touch with this person for a long time, but I found out that he really is a jerk and so am avoiding him now. He is going to contact me again in the future; I will politely distance myself.

PS - thanks to those for your comments

Contd from 23^rd March please see earlier blog

It is the same thing here. The difference however, is that we all have a libido but once we cross a certain age, say, 16 or 18 we won't feel like satisfying it IF we are conditioned to ignore it. We simply ignore the impulse and our body sends a negative feedback to the brain saying 'I don't need your damn hormones!' so the hormones are removed from the system. For eg, I am a vegetarian and when I feel hungry I don't eat non-veg even though every1 says it tastes great.

But herein lies a subtle difference I have a choice of other foods. What choice does a man have of satisfying his sexual needs, if he is celibate and refrains from watching you-know-what. This is where our discussion gets dirty. Masturbation.

Many people do it and many doctors will say it is necessary to remove built up hormones. Otherwise, we feel irritable. Prolonging masturbation will cause 'wet dreams' or 'night fall', as it is termed, where the male ejaculates in his sleep.

Now getting back to the point, if a man has never seen pornography, does he masturbate? Can he have wet dreams? I think the answer is yes, since that is what happened in my case, but here is the main point ' when it happened in my case, I had curiosity, I had not seen an undressed lady before, but my imagination somehow caused me to well you know, ejaculate. Can that happen to a person who has been taught to stay away from porn?

I am confused!

Now that I have seen porn, I can go a few days without doing it and then there she (or rather he) blows! So, the question is, did my friends mentioned in my previous post ever have a wet dream? With one of them (the muslim), I didn't discuss this too delicate a topic for him!

With the other he refuses to tell me properly so, for people like these souls we will never know unless they are open. Imagine if they ever had a wet dream that means that pornography has nothing to do with libido and that libido is a BIOLOGICAL trait.

Still, I would not justify the acts of the women (and men) that I mentioned in the beginning of my earlier post ' I don't have a reason except that it makes me feel disgusted with myself and that it makes south-indians look like perverts which they certainly are not. I can't make any moral, rational or spiritual justifications only feelings and feelings alone have caused me to express my view.

HARI OM

We in the South don't really celebrate Holi with the kind of zest that is displayed in the North.

Today, however, I got a rude awakening. In a local news channel, they showed a village near my home town of Vishakapatnam where women were dancing and disrobing themselves in-front of men and children alike without any shame, just in the name of Holi. I never thought these sort of things existed in my state and I was simply shocked. No one could even jail the organisers or the 'performers' since the police themselves were revelling in this blasphemy.

This made me reflect on myself. Okay, here is the truth nine out of ten men my age (including myself) have watched pornography.

This, I kept telling myself, is a biological need that we have. However, I was always puzzled by those who steered away from these things. I have a Muslim friend who doesn't even look at a woman's face. The other friend is a Hindu I am not sure about him, but he is quite religious and I doubt he has ever watched porn, at least out of his own free will.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a sex addict or a pervert. I have gone weeks and sometimes months without watching you-know-what, but then one fine day the hormones kick in. Therefore, I have a great alibi to watch It and so do all men ' Hormones!

Then, why don't hormones display their effects on my buddies mentioned above? Or do they have a secret method to make testosterone and androgen disappear from their systems? NO.

The answer I think lies in the fact that they had never been exposed to this stuff in their childhood. They probably do feel the hormones but perhaps not in such a strong way. Imagine it like this - let's say you have tasted something sweet for the first time in your life one day. A few days later, you feel like eating sweet food you never had this feeling before.

So your brain tells you that the sweet stuff you tasted earlier was great and so you indulge yourself in the same. If a person has never tasted sweetness before he doesn't know what sweetness is and so can not indulge in it.

To all the readers I apologise if this sounds vulgar. But I am trying to find out the truth ladies think that men are sex-hungry slobs, but I am trying to prove that not all men are like that

To be contd

HARI OM

It has been a while since i last posted a blog. 11months and 13 days to be precise and a lot has changed in my life.

I have applied to universities abroad for my higher studies. I cleared the GRE and TOEFL. I am waiting for a response from the universities. Recently I also qualified the GATE exam and am now looking for master’s degrees in biotech in India, so those of you who want help/can give me some tips about where to apply can please do so here or mail me.

Ok, now back to business. I have not expressed my opinion in a while and feel like i have a lot to say but i’ll keep it short and sweet like always.

This blog is in reference to an article i read today in the Times of India written by Jug Suraiya and the title was something like ‘Chicken is the national bird of India’. I guess I could not agree more.

The difference is this…while I agree that we did chicken out when it came to the Taslima issue and the Tibet issue…the government had no other choice. Imagine what would have happened if Taslima were given shelter. Election season is around the corner and the ruling party does not want to lose its votebank. Think of all the ‘minority groups’ (ie the Islamic fundamentalists)  that would have protested. So the government had to save face.

Besides, we are not exactly very popular with religious extremists so I think the choice was cowardly, but it was also somewhat wise.

As far as Tibet is concerned…think about it…you have a growing superpower like China which is a great trade partner with India and then on the other hand you have Tibet - poor as hell. Whose side would you choose? Ya, i know that sounds really cruel…Tibetans are oppressed…but then people say why should we bother about Tibet’s problems when we have problems of our own? Never mind that most politicians dont bother about domestic problems.

Or the case when Tamils were oppressed in Malaysia…not too much was done by the Foreign Ministry and the Centre showed a cold shoulder to their woes. So hey, if we can ignore our people…we can ignore other people too…like the families of jawans who are killed in battle…the widow who hasn’t been given a job or means of surviving or the pensioner who hasn’t been given his pension money…hey - we have problems Tibet. We aren’t gonna solve our own problems why should we solve yours?

The government has asked China to ‘resolve its issues’ with Tibet. Well, I guess at least that means that we acknowledge that Tibet exists.

By the way, how many of you know that China wants to take Arunachal Pradesh away from India? I think about one lakh people out one hundred-and-something crorse all over India know about this.

How many of you give a damn about Arunachal Pradesh (except for those who are Arunachalis)? I bet none. Whatever. Life goes on.

Hari Om.