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The new land is beautiful and colorful
My heart gets hurt whenever my eyes get a glimpse
At times I don’t have the control
I thought of moving to a new land

Wow! New land is amazing
All are unique at times tales are touching
Sensible thoughts and wise people
Family values and most incredible people

New land is encouraging and meeting all my needs
Thoughts and inner feelings are valued
People motivate, appreciate and have lots of fun

Thought for a while …
Perfect place to build my shelter there
So started building my home step by step
It’s not right to forget the old

I lost something…

Did you know where I loose?
Are you asking me what I’ve lost?
Oh! That’s so precious to my heart
I lost it, I lost it!

No Silk or Satin but Fleece and Flannel
Tall but not an Oak Tree
Wise but not King Solomon
I lost it, I lost it!

I lost a loving, caring heart
I lost a moment that would have changed my life
I lost the most precious one!
No one can bring that heart to me
So, I surrender the precious one to God’s hands humbly

If the lost one is for me, the heart will come back
As I wait Patiently….

From my childhood I am seeing and learning what life is all about…

Have you ever been humiliated by someone when you were small?

Have you ever worn torn uniform and rubber sandals to the school when you were small?

Have you ever waited in a long queue to get kerosene and rice with your mom when you were small?

Have you ever lived in a house that was leaking during the rainy seasons?

Have you ever slept lonely after the school outside your door when you were small?

(My parents are teachers and they come home very late after work. Until that time, I used to sleep in the steps outside our house. One fine day unconsciously I fell from the stairs when I was asleep, my head got injured. I think this incident happened when I was studying second or third standard. That scar on my forehead is still visible.)

Have you ever lived without proper food for one whole month with your family?

(Eating just the porridge and lemon pickle)

Have you ever heard your parents saying that they couldn’t afford money for your higher studies?

( My aim was to become a doctor, when my dad said that he could not afford money for my higher studies due to financial crisis, I was completely collapsed)

Have you ever been in the hospital fighting for your life?

When I see anyone looking sad, I would immediately go and talk to that person.
When I see someone in need, I would give my money.

Now, I don’t wear any torn clothes but I know the value of clothing. I took one blue color salwaar in 2001 and I am still wearing that (2009).

Now, I can eat what I want.

Now, I live in our own house.

I have completed my MCA. Now, I have a decent job.

There were times just because I am dark

People looked down on me

There were times when I heard a few people say 'Blacky'

Made fun of me in the public places

I tried to control all my emotions

When I reached home and saw my face in the mirror
All I could see tears rolling over my face

Like a mini waterfall

There were times when I didn't get the proper treatment

Unlike every other girls

There were times when I longed to be a part of fair girls
companionship

I was not bold enough to talk to them

Because of my complexion and fear of rejection

There were times when I haven't looked my face in the mirror
for ages

For those reasons

Was it my fault being like that?

I asked God, 'Why ME?'

'

Days passed,

Months passed,

And Years passed'

'

There were times when no one besides me

To hold my hand and utter those loving words 'Everything is
going to be OKAY'

There were times when I took my resume after completing my
college

Walking every streets and every roads with my friend

Like a lover searching for the lost love

Like a bird searching for the prey

Hoping to be a part of the 'IT World'

Looking for software companies

To give my resumes and

Most of the times I end up leaving it with security people
or Receptionists

There were times even after I cleared all my interviews

Though I know that I had done my best

They just had to say, 'We'll call you back'

Oh! That broke my heart into pieces

I asked God, 'Why ME?'

'

'

There were times I hide myself in the church on Sundays

Because of those looks on the people's eyes

Because of that one question 'What are you doing now?'

There were times I hide myself in my room

When my relatives came home to give the wedding cards

Because of that one question 'What is she doing now?'

The reason was unemployment

'

'

There was a time one relative of mine

Asked my dad in the wedding reception, 'What's your daughter
doing?'

My dad said, 'She is searching for a job'

He said, Strange! 'Is it that tough to get a job for
Rs.1000/-?'

Dad just smiled at him and didn't say a word

He shared it with us

I know how tough it was to get a job those days

That was one of the worst nights in my lifetime

I went to my room and started weeping

Like a child hungry for mother's milk

I wept, I wept & I wept

I couldn't control

Oh! I was crying badly

I couldn't control I took my pillow

And thrust in my mouth

Thinking no one would hear my cry

I started crying aloud until my parents broke into my room

I went to the height of depression

My heart was aching for the first time

I lost my mind completely

Slowly my vision blurred

I know I was dying

My mom put me in her lap

Crying aloud, 'God save my daughter'

I fainted

Mom sprinkled water on my face

After few minutes my senses came back

I asked God, 'Why ME?'

'

Days passed,

Months passed,

And Years passed too'.

'

God answered my prayers

After all the struggles in my life

Oh! What a joyful moment!

Got a job after 2 long years of waiting

Brought sweets home

Worked really hard on all projects

Made lots of sales over the phone

From mobile phones to credit cards to US customers

Got good name in the management

'

Switched to another company

Worked hard and got

Impressive feedback from US customers

and from the client

Earned incentives

Suddenly I was hospitalized

'

'

Miraculously I got a decent job

After

'

Hello God,

I know you are busy in the heaven talking to angels, saints, martyrs and other believers.
Can you please listen to me? I am calling from the earth.
This is very important for me.
I am little bit upset today. Lord give me the hope and joy. Who else can I share my feelings?
Do not forsake me forever. Please lead me now. I want to talk to you lots tonight. Lets meet up in my room. Please do say that ” I Love you & You are Mine!”. I don’t hurt other people even in my thinking. You know it all. Please stay with me God. That’s all I want in my life. Let your guardian angels protect me. Amen!

I am feeling much better God - Thanks a lot My Dear Friend! : )