shinyvikas's blog » Humour

Just think about it!(reposted)

Shiny Vikas — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:35:27 +0000

1. If time

doesn’t wait

for you, don’t

worry!
———— —
Just remove

the damn

battery from the

clock and Enjoy
life!

*
�2. Expecting the world to treat u

fairly coz u r a good

person is like* * ———— ——— —–
expecting the lion not to

attack u coz u r a

vegetarian. Think about it.*

*
�3. Don’t walk as if you rule the

world, walk as if you

don’t care who rules*
*
the world! Now that’s Attitude�!!!*

*
4. Every lady hopes that her

daughter will marry a better

man than she did*
———— ——— –and is convinced that her son

will never find a

wife as good as his father did!!!

5. He was a good man. He never smoked,

drank & had no

affairs.* *
When he died, the insurance company

refused the claim.* ———— ——— ——–

They said, he who never

lived, cannot die!*

*
6. A man threw his wife in a pond of

Crocodiles?* *
———— ——— -He’s now

being harassed by the

Animal Rights

Activists for being cruel to the

Crocodiles!*

*
7. So many options for suicide:

Poison, sleeping pills,

hanging, jumping* *

from a building, lying on train

tracks,* *

———— ——— ——but we

chose Marriage, slow

& sure!*

*
8. Only 20 percent girls have brains,

the rest have

boyfriends!*

*
9. All desirable things in life are

either
———— ——— ——

illegal, banned, expensive or married

to someone else!*

*
10. Laziness is our biggest enemy-

Jawaharlal Nehru* *

We should learn to love our enemies-

Mahatma Gandhi* *

So, now you do the math…..*

*
12. 10% of road accidents are due to

drunken driving.*

*Which makes it a logical statement

that* *

90% of accidents are due to driving

without

drinking!… ….hmmmmmmmm*

*NOTHINGIS IMPOSSIBLE.. …..EVEN

IMPOSSIBLE SAYS

I M POSSIBLE

Idle thoughts!

Shiny Vikas — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 09:04:56 +0000

Creativity… creativity stands for putting practical thoughts in a beautiful well woven, crafted and elegant manner…..!

Dreams, people say don’t dream wake up start working……….only with right dreams we can start working!

Talking…too much talking is not good that’s what we hear…is there any field in life which goes beyond talks…People like to talk their mind each time, irrespective of consequences…good, bad even worse!

Pessimism…..u carry a grudge with life,work,situations,people ,all in all…a very broken piece of ones character…but can we overcome pessimism with optimism…pessimism play around ,hiding ones true talents, character..Optimism come out the same person with a changed heart and mind!

Communicate…You find different means of communication…Idiot box,mobil e,internet,print or electronic media…why we need it….?world love to communicate in right and quick manner…in itself a true need that good,bad,best in life without communication or being able to communicate..all unresolved matter will have a new name ——————————–*PROBLEMS,MISGUIDED,MISUNDERSTOOD,MISINTERPRETED,TAKEN FOR GRANTED,TREATED ILL..*Once we communicate what went right or wrong…whole process of relation will have a new meaning…!

Overreact….its one of the worst concept…yet if we do not overreact. At some point of time. will we ever learn..How to really judge the issues which needed our immediate attention and that of the concerned person!

Trust…can have a totally negative side…its better not to trust anybody, not even close friends.when u trust a person you over expect things…so be neutral..All human are not divine…simply accept each person by being your true self, not by trying to find trustful people around us.

Dependent…well! dependency at some point of view is also not bad after all…depending on your your time how to move, your friends where they lead, your each passing time we need to depend on how life carries each and every moments with both success and failures..Which again depends on how to put forth our footsteps to better understanding.lets depend on some these aspect of our life.

Anger….well anger is not always a negative source..if we do not react negatively at some issues…how we will learn to control our feelings ,attitudes, and many pace of life where e in future we can always feel not to repeat certain anger to overcome!

Hatred….Hatred leave us in hell ,where we become the temperory criminals of our mind &action!

Love… Its blank with no definition…..depends on the people who fill it and feel it…like air,water and oxygen we breathe..either we can pollute it or keep it pure!

Friends. &relations . .be careful while we choose….it can make us or destroy us too!

Misunderstanding… the most foolish ,ignorant thoughts ,we carry as a burden with us and others around.

Cheat...can we cheat people we love, or they can cheat…us….people who cheat others…always end up cheating their own conscience!

Human beings…we are a different set of species…men and women…the thought process differs so much…..yet cannot live without each other…that’s the source which binds the so contrasting characters together….!well, opposites always attracts !

Anxious…without getting anxious can we ever been successful in all our experiments, philosophy of why? How? When?we need to ask ourselves of things happening..And not fear the consequences..Win and loss..Syndrome always plays around..So when confused…just go on and clear all your doubts..You will either win or loss…but confusion will not win at least!

Life…. people say we have given only one life to live…yet ,i feel..we are born once ,yet we can make or break our life each passing moment,again and again….which one do u prefer?Hence,live it as u like it!

Smile..as i smile each morning..i can see the sunsmiling with me,as i smile each night i can see the moon & the stars smiling bright…Smile comes not out of burden ,but out of happiness and contentment..out of love and cherished life…keep smiling!

Everyday, we wake up.think or not think…plan or not plan…each day some thing new happens…we learn something new …Hope we learn few lessons in life…and teach few…concept, thought process might differ…people might be un bearable most of times, ideas may just not match..In my life’s Aid box I always carry lots of apologies to all events,incidence,matters,expressions,reactions,feelings etc…knowingly, unknowingly I perform or done!….just enjoy each moments..With an open heart and mind these thoughts are my own…it might fit to some or be unfit to others…yet thought process need to be shared as our own……have a nice day to all?J

Channels…Gud Ones!(reposted)

Shiny Vikas — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:16:01 +0000

Dad, Rahul and Priya loved watching television. The three of
Them always fought as to who will watch what. Their mother wouldn’t
Interfere with their fights. Each one would snatch the remote and keep

Changing Channels. Rahul wanted to watch the cricket match, Priya

Wanted to watch the cookery show and Dad the Political news.

This is what their mother heard one day:

In the parliament today…Nehra bowled his first over…and is washed away in boiling water….The finance minister…went straight into the hands of Tendulkar…and is sliced into pieces…. Mr. Krishna visited…Anil Kumble who is now going to…break the egg

And…the leader of the opposition party…is hit on the face…which will now turn red in two minutes…during the zero hour…both the umpires…are fried golden brown.

We now end the news bulletin…by calling Dravid…to peel the
Onion.

Humorous Quotations

Shiny Vikas — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:33:55 +0000

Humorous Quotations

“It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.”
—Ben Bergor

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.”
—Garry Trudeau

Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.”
—Salvador Dali

“I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.”
—Jim Morrison

“I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.”
—Gilda Radner

“People like you are the reason people like me take pills!”
—Neva Faith Linn

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’”
—Unknown

“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
—Mae West

“I don’t at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.”
—Oscar Wilde

“Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.”
—Groucho Marx

“Our childhood is what we spend the rest of our lives overcoming.”
—Amy Bennett

“A hard man is good to find.”
—Mae West

“The concerts you enjoy together/ Neighbors you annoy together/ Children you destroy together,/ That keep marriage in tact.”
—Stephen Sondheim

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.”
—Unknown

“Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol.”
—Unknown

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.”
—Franklin Jones

Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.”
—Cal Thomas

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”
—Fred Allen

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.”
—Tori Filler

When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.”
—Molly McGee

“You know you’re in love when you take the longer way to class even if it means going up two extra stair cases just to see his face.”
—Unknown

“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.”
—Sam Ewing

“Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.”
—Unknown

“If you think something small can’t make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.”
—Unknown

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.”
—Kimberly Broyles

He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.”
—The Better Half cartoon by Randy Glasbergen

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?”
—Unknown

You can’t say civilization isn’t advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.”
—Will Rogers

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.”
—Ashleigh Brilliant

Right Choice Baby(reposted)

Shiny Vikas — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 07:05:01 +0000

Dear all…here is a fwd mail send to me by one ofmy friend …have a nice day

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”.With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: -

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Saim because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Saim and he is so nice to me. I knowwhen you meet him you’ll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes.

But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant and Saim said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Saim is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn’t tend in the way of ourrelationship, don’t you agree? Saim has a great CD collection; he alreadyowns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he’ll be faithful tome in his own way.. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.

Saim taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Saim can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care ofmyself.. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO”.

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk centre drawer.

Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!