December 2008
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Resolutions and more

As a logical extension of my introspective mood, I have been trying various ways of self-appraisal in the past few days. I started quite discretely by trying to get people talk about me and knowing what they think of me. I found they never dwelt upon my traits for more than a couple of seconds. It was as if ‘Yeah we know [...]

Ant Monologue

Ant 1: Sigh!Ant 2: What are you sighing about, again?Ant 1: Nothing seems to be work…Ant 2: Didn’t you just blast your manager on the phone for not being in office? Stop being so surprised then..Ant 1: I didn’t exactly blast him. Was only explaining the urgency..Ant 2: Oh yeah? Well I heard your [...]


Alright, I have been away for almost a month, guilty as charged! Except for hurriedly winding up the women chapter, I haven’t done much on iland. And what exactly have I been doing? Well, this is what..been traveling like crazy, slogging like an ass (what’s the female version?), sans rest, sans weekends, sans respite..

Woman II

As the search for the perfect woman continues…here are some prototypes (no pun Protz)

The fitness freak: Early morning jogs, gym, pool, yoga, salads, calories – key words for her conversations. You’ll do good business if you own an adidas store. C’mon now don’t complain about the starvation and muscle cramps, as if I didn’t warn you!

The busy-w/o-business kind: We have these kinds in our offices, women who have somehow managed to get a job but eventually have delegated all their tasks to their subords. So much so that they are hardlyleft with any work, so they spend most of their time chattering away on phone. But if someone asks, they are immensely busy. How could you even dare to ask if she is free? When they are bored of timepass at office and when the sitting is late enough to be noticed by everyone at office, especially after the top boss has left, these women would rise from their seats, walk up to their poor subords to givesome words ofadvice on productivity and success and perfection, pile them up with more nonsense work, and finally descend for home; somehow I always associate this scene with the echoing sound of stilletoes in a deserted cold office corridor, fading out, leaving behind a lot of frustration and despair. At home, they enter, after ma-in-law is finished with the cooking, with a pseudo-apologetic face, the usual. In effect, no productivity in office, no productivity at home.

The Bitch: 70% of us around They can be nasty but are usually nasty to their own species, or to maids or the watchman or their subordinates in office. The newspaper boy and the milkmanwear helmet and shin guards when they ring her door bell. Better to be safe than sorry. It isn’t necessary though that she’ll be nasty to you, at least not in the beginning. (amazing actresses most of them are) But eventually, well, can’t say. And yeah, do invest in a good helmet and ear muffs if you want to play a long series.

The nympho: You can’t make out from the first glance. Go near her and you’ll know what I’m saying. Yes, they do exist,nymphomaniacs are not a myth, but no they are probably not always what you think they are. All that glitters might not turn out to be gold in the end, now don’t make me elaborate, just get the hint!

The damsel in perpetual distress: She usually tries her best to manage her life, in vain. Its not her fault. Her stars go against her and she lands herself in trouble, almost all the time. Her files goes missing at work, the signal goes off when she is right in the middle of the road, trying to cross, she gets lost on a holiday, and at the moment, she is probably at home, gaping in awe as the delicate china bowl slips from her hands and takes somersaults before hitting the floor and crashing into a hundred pieces. Damn the stars! If you want to date her, I’d like to suggest a gift for your first date: a Linda Goodman.

The Antzy : Haven’t come across any other specimen of this kind. Usually has only two moods: happy and gloomy. Wears her mood on her face. Sometimes on her blog too. Writes crappy poetry when sad and subjects readers to torture. Sometimes gets mad, mostly at work. Screams and regrets immediately. Unless in the mood to look good, mostly dresses to put street urchins to shame. When she walks, ppl usually give way, out of fear of colliding. Talk is the only thing she can do, of course purely need-based. Words flow economically at work, extravagantly with friends, and rarely at home, especially when topics such as manhunt are raised. Loves music but can’t remember lyrics even from her favourite songs. Clumsy, philosophical, rebel, unpredictable to the core. Overall, far from perfection and shows no signs of improvement. No wonder a single specimen of the species left. In fact it is possible that a single specimen was invented by the Creator as a pilot attempt to test the liveability of unexplanable species on earth. My suggestion isstay away from this one. You wouldn’t want to be part of the Divine experiment, would you?