When I went to buy myself a skirt and top for diwali…noticed one which i thought my 15 year old help(maid)would love..so i took her along the next day and bought her a skirt-top she liked..Both of us were real excited about it…me even more than her perhaps!!!!Was hoping to see her dressed up on diwali day but was upset to note that on diwali she was wearing one of her regular clothes and not what i bought..When I asked she replied without even looking at me that she didnt feel like it…Now I was angry…wanted to give her a piece of my mind,but I stopped cos I thought I bought her the dress cos I felt like it,she can choose what to do with it..i often tell people to let me be,I said to myself so it is only fair that I let her be..
Then i thought that I was upset,let down…atleast she should know.or she would just take me for granted…or would telling her be abuse of power..it felt like I would take away from her the whole pleasure of buying the dress..so I said nothing,felt my care wasnt reciprocated…thought I would feel better if I made her feel bad too for making me feel bad…then thought maybe i would just feel worse
“why do I think so much…why dont I just let myself be!!!!!”
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15 year old maid? isnt tht child labour?
Ditto Ghost.
lolllllllllllllllllll!!!!! i can sense that yu gave yur maid piece of your mind……nvrtheless…..me is smiling…..
aaaah! i am really happy, that despite all the overload work n workaholism, u are still, perfectly ok! jus girls always hav been, are, n always (by the law of nature) shud be - complicated .
Just do your duty with love and affection, and do not expect fruit for your action.
You bought for her, the reason why she would not have worn is, may be, she will be wearing a new dress, other members are not…:). The reason for not looking at you is while answering, you have done her good, still she cannot say her real feeling outside. All these are presumptions, what ever it may, I am sure there will be a real good reason for not wearing, and undoubtedly, her intention is not to hurt your good heart…:).
“I think; therefore I am.”
So if we are not thinking,
Then we don”t exist.
I agree with Sue, if she indeed like it, why would she wear it to work - would it not get spoiled?
Don”t play god! giving was your choice. why should you?
You “think” because your mind is programmed to think. In this case, you went all out to please someone who works for you throughout the year…getting only her monthly wages. You took Diwali as an opportunity to express your gratitude and give her something which she”d least expected. It made you feel good to “think” that you probably made her day. You however expected something in return. You wanted her to thank you by wearing the outfit you gifted her. Expectations kills joy. In your case, it let you down. You cant stop expecting all together. But you can definitely try to control. Find joy in giving without expectations. Also, before you give, ask yourself if the other person wants to recieve it…
This sounds very spiritual. But its not out of context. It started with thoughts, moved on to having-no-expectations, and ended at being selfless. Its possible. This will be our first step towards controling our flow of thoughts.
hey, i guess, my comment has been registered. i dont want to repeat it here.
a woman’’s mind, you have. don”t blame yourself too much. life’’s simple. (:
Like they say, Neki kar, kuey mey daal! Do a good deed and forget it entirely. It’’s human to expect gratitude, reciprocity etc, but don”t. If it comes, it’’s a bonus. Regards, Ghost
I think she doesn”t want to spoil it by wearing it at work. At least my maid gives me this excuse.
i have read somewhere that the thoughts are like air and sometimes wind…sometimes strong and sometimes calm…..then too thoughts are generated by the mind infinite in our brains…one single event or thought conceiving a chain of thoughts …..but then what i read is that sometimes the thoughts are external i.e. thoughts from some other minds too…..for any thought to generate itself there needs to be a cause or reason…so for you here the moment you bought a dress for your maid your duty was over but what you expected was that she must wear it on diwali and show you….so your expectations made you sad and not she…u may even have thought that next time you will not get her or buy her a new dress…..but thats wrong …..u had to buy her diwali gift and its her decision whether to wear it or not…life is simple and thoughts make it complex……….the question is still very good—why do i think so much —-because only a human can think…ha ha ha ha ha
duh? thinking abt thoughts? that wud be a very very tuff proposition for me yaar. thinking itself is so much work…….. and to top that .. we have to think about that thoughts too…. aw… gal, u surely put us in a fix….. lemme think on this one and post my comment tomorrow… too exhausted today… yeah sudheer,,,, myself out of town today.. so dint arrive on her iLand earlier…
Yaaa…….a very normal feeling!! BTW, why did u stop giving replies for the comments on ur blogs!!! That”ll be more interesting!! another thing i was surprised that Rajesh has not yet come over here!!
My grandma use to say “neki kar kuye main daal”. I read somewhere, we help other people because we are selfish. As they say, what goes around, comes around. Does it fit here? Dunno.. anyways introspective blog as usual.
he he he.. dats wat i wd like to write.. “wy do ithink so much?”.. Good realisation.. if u find any answers temme too..
freedom is the most cherished of all action
freedom is the most cherished of all action
There definitely should be a reason to the action of your maid. May be you should know what that is. Well…okay…I am curious to know it
So do let me know. And as far as this piece of yours…did you give a lot of thought on the title? cos it is just brilliant. And yet another feeling of mine in reading a certain number of pieces of yours….I liked to read it and sticked with it as they are small and i am sure i will visit more often. Though they are small, they do drive the nail in the right position on a wall for the most beautiful painting that you just bought 
(why coffin? ).
I understand this feeling of yours. In one of my comments, i said that i was in doubt if you were selfish. Now this piece proves that you are sure as selfish as I. We flock together