Nisha wanted me to help her with what to do..the guy she was happily seeing for 2 years now wanted them to be engaged..his parents wanted him to be engaged to her or they would go ahead with the one of prize proposals they had lined up for him…”I cant help it anymore “Akshay had clearly stated…Nisha wasnt even sure she wanted to be married to Akshay but she did like him for sure …at 22yrs marraige was something she had never given serious thought to…she needed time to decide …lots of time
When Nisha asked me wot to do..I wanted to tell her I wud never chosen Akshay in the first place…I wudnt choose a man who wl put pressure on me cos his environment puts pressure on him..yet if by anychance in this situation,I wud tell my man he has to wait cos I havent decided and if he chooses not to wait I wud still respect his decision and let him go… even if I valued him as much as Nisha valued Akshay
But i knew Nisha could never say that ..do that..because her personality was different,her needs were not same as mine,the voids in her life were different..she just wanted to hear from me that he is right for her and she should go ahead get engaged …
What did I say?????well I said “I donno”..I said “I beleive nobody can find solutions for anybody else…..”
btw why do they have agony aunt columns in magazines!!!!!!!!
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You seem to be a good agony aunt yourself.May be I should confide my problems — who knows I may fall in love with the agony aunt! Cheers
Sometimes, the obvious seems very alien when in love, need some kind of support, advice is good, as it can always be thrown out of the window
Many times when people ask for advise, they are not really asking for advise. They want to talk aloud with someone rather than talking to themselves. This is effectively a psychotherapy session.. you have to keep asking questions and letting them talk. You give them advise they dont like, you are in serious trouble. But be a friend and let them talk. Most of the time, they know the answers themselves. If you cant handle it, better keep quiet. I think that is what you did.
If she has not decided about him for the two years… he’’s going out with the wrong girl…
ha ha… that was a good question… but i guess deep down their hearts ppl want to hear advice… n though they may not like it they will pause to think over it….but one has to be careful… because u r right… to each his own!
it woudl be best to advice people to toss a coin in such cases…and while the coin comes tossing down, if the person is wishing for it to be something, well…he/she knows there was no need to toss that coin at all, coz he/she would have realised what they really wish for!
well shweta….i dont know where in the newspapers are these agony aunt columns ….really i dont know…secondly when someones asks me in my day to day life for my opinion or suggestions i surely tell them what i personally and truly feel and think…but yes put them some questions both this way and that way to exactly know what their confusion is…becos the mind is not so simple ..but yes you should have given your opinion to your friend…….as a friend thats what she expected from you…may be your opinion is based on your evolved thought process but yes atleast your friend would be happy to get some opinion..may be you did not want to hurt your friend…may be you just listened to her and never got to know what she actually thought…anyway even with your opinion or not does it matter…she had to decide naa…..its not bad to give your sincere opinion…..
ur right monu…maybe i was lacking in being objective…she is a very good friend of mine so I was unable to look frm a neutral perspective…and help her…nw I will..thanx
wow raju simply loved ur simple enlightening statement…perhaps ppl get saddistic pleasure frm other ppls miseries…
If she really sees a future with the guy, she should atleast give him a commitment. I guess it has to be a two way thing. Any half hearted decisions would spoil both the lives…
another complicated one with its bottomliner.. i think nisha wanted sum1 to help her decide rather than take a decision on her part.. it was not abnormal for her to think again & she counted on you for a neutral opinion (not necessarily your opinion) which you refrained to give… It was not a gud thing to do to a friend(if you consider her as one)..
Welll said….F****** faires sex…..the biggest opportunist…I bet my life ..if it was the other way around you would have been saying…you should not marry a guy who does not respect your needs…he does not deserve you..blah..blah..blah..blah..
Guess you are going to delete this ASAP
have to read it once again to comment…..
Well said shweta……….!!U”ve captured the feel of ur friend…..!! appreciate…~~GIFT~~
Perfect Blog at perfect time (from my side)!! I need to learn something from this!!
All of us try to find solution of our problems from others simply because we want somone to listen them and tell us their point of view of our problem. You may help nisha see a simple thing which she is unable to percieve.
coz, people jus love to read about other peoples miseries. and agony sells i guess.