Have you ever experienced a situation where in you don’t know where you need to stop thinking, about things that happen, or, are not happening around you? Some situations that you expect would take place, totally take a different turn, and things which are not meant to stand up in front of u, apparently baffling you up!
So here I am going into an infinite thought mode whenever I encounter such situations. Not knowing where to stop, my thoughts keep targeting me and make me go crazy. I land up pondering over every minute detail and at times land up talking to myself. Awkward!!
This mostly happens with people in my life. All those whom I’ve known all this while suddenly seem to have lost their magical reason to be a part of my life. I start getting this brainsick feeling that my friends and family have stopped caring about me. Not to forget, I have moved out of my hometown, hence away from family and friends. My parents seem to be the only ones I am in touch with. There is this whole hour of a sentimental session before my departure to keep in touch and all that jazz. And in less than a month’s time it all vanishes in thin air! Is this something like ‘out of sight, out of mind’ condition?
In today’s tech world, how hard is it to be in touch with all those you care for? The only person who realizes this is probably the one who leaves. Phone calls, emails, messages, face book are all those immediate mediums I can think of through which I try and keep in touch with my family and friends.
I write an email to a bunch of old friends and get reply only from one of them. I catch up with cousins over face book jus to know they are too busy to reply back. Fake promises of calling me, have always ticked me off, but that’s what I get in return to my attempts in calling those few. I get this hatred feeling towards such people to eventually find out that it’s just the extra love that turning a bit bitter. The minute I say ‘I don’t care’ to myself, it seems like I’m caring more than required.
So what makes me feel that I am the only one at the receiving end? How do people expect the whole ‘KIT’ concept only from one way? Do they feel the same way? Do they feel that I need to take more efforts to be in touch because I’m the one who has moved out? For that matter should I really? Is this that phase of life where in we meet a new lot of people that we need to hang on to and loosen up with all those old ties? Or is this the after marriage phase when you tend to give your past a back seat and start thinking more about the future? Or maybe it’s just an illusional phase that will pass away!
By now I’m sure you’d know what thoughts make me go brain dead! I’m trying to find answers myself and am miserably failing!
Oh well, I just hope I’m not the only one going through such a crisis, and pray to god that my cousins/family always be there for me and my best friends have the BFF tag forever! …. Amen!
