I love driving. And I love long drives, especially in the mountains. Unfortunately I haven’t done it for a while. The last time I took a long drive was when I drove from Delhi to Jharkhand. It was pleasant in parts. But mostly, it was very uncomfortable to negotiate the potholes throughout eastern UP and all of Bihar. The pleasant part was driving through the picturesque but Naxalite infested part of Jharkhand.

While I was living in Delhi, however, I’d often drive to Kumaon or Garhwal and sometimes to Himachal and Rajasthan. I would seek out unknown roads, see unheard of places and get to know more about my own country. The more I saw, the more I started loving India. This country is like an iceberg. We only get to see the tip of it. The rest is shrouded in mystery.

One of the things I loved about driving on the highway was the being able to read various “quotes” painted behind trucks. Some of them were so hilarious that I would have a good laugh. It certainly broke the monotony at times. Though I must admit, no long drive in India can every be boring. You never get a chance to get bored. The cow that strays onto the road, or the tractor that pulls out from nowhere or the truck that stops without warning, ensures that you are alert and aware of your surroundings! I’ve had many close shaves, but none of them have been fatal as you can see. And the best compliment I received from all my travelling companions has be: We feel safe driving with you. Great! I know I am a careful driver. Touch wood, I’ve never had an accident except once — a cyclist rammed into my car while I was waiting for the lights to change!

Coming back to what’s written at the back of trucks. 13 mera 7 rahe, buri nazar wale tera muh kala, mere peeche kyun laga hai? — are just a few that I can remember offhand. I’ve often wondered if the TATA so elaborately painted on the tailboard was bidding me farewell or if it was refering to the model of the truck!

I love dhaba food. The best food is to be found where the most number of trucks are parked! Dal tarka, tandoori roti and baingan ka bharta used to be my favourite fare. “Child beer” was very helpful in washing down the spicy “tari” while eating aloo mattar or meat.

There’s no story here. I’m simply reminiscing. Perhaps feeling a bit nostalgic. And like the retired cowboy missing the reigns of his horse in his hands, I miss the steering wheel.

I’m sure you’ve heard this story before. But here’s my version. To be honest, I am writing this because it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything here and people have been asking me why. Frankly speaking, I don’t have much to say these days. I’m writing about the camel and the last straw because I feel like the camel and the camel’s owner is fate.

Once there was a camel. His owner was a good man, but very greedy. He used his camel to ferry cargo across the desert and earn a living. But in order to earn as much as possible, he’d often overload the poor camel. The camel did not complain. Fate had ordained that he should be a camel and carry load.

When he was young, the camel had grown used to more and more load. But as he grew older he would feel the strain and find it hard to trek across the desert with his load. His knees ached and his back hurt.

One day, unmindful of his camel’s advancing age, the camel owner loaded the camel as usual. The load was quite heavy but not more than what the camel was used to by now. Then someone came along and asked the owner if he could carry a small crate of dates. The greedy owner agreed and added the crate to the existing load. The camel groaned. But managed to stand up.

However, just as they were about to set out, the owner saw a piece of straw which must have fallen out. It’s just a straw, he thought, and threw it on top of the existing cargo. The weight of the straw was too much for the poor camel. His back broke. He collapsed and died. The owner, of course, was quite sad but also very surprised. It was only a straw, he wondered. But it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Well, that’s how things are sometimes. There’s only so much one can accept, or carry on one’s shoulders. And when that extra straw is added, it could spell disaster. We are all carrying some load or the other. And we are also carrying an invisible straw in our hands. Let’s be careful not to add that straw to someones loaded back!

Here’s an old Chinese saying that if often attributed to Confucious. Could be true. Or maybe not. Like many things Chinese, this too is shrouded in mystery. But I am sure many of you know about this particular saying. So what I’m writing is nothing new. But it’s been going round and round in my head and so I thought I’d put it down here. I haven’t written anything for a long time anyway.

HE WHO KNOWS AND KNOWS HE KNOWS,
HE’S A WISE MAN, SEEK HIM.

HE WHO KNOWS AND KNOWS NOT HE KNOWS,
HE’S ASLEEP, WAKE HIM!

HE WHO KNOWS NOT AND KNOWS THAT HE KNOWS NOT,
HE IS A CHILD, TEACH HIM.

BUT HE WHO KNOWS NOT AND KNOWS NOT THAT HE KNOWS NOT,
HE IS A FOOL, SHUN HIM.

How true! The world’s population can be divided into these four category of people. The wise, the unaware, the ignorant and the fools.

Yes, though rare, there are those few wise people who do have knowledge and know that they possess it. They are aware of their own powers and potentials. Such men are wise. The sages and seers and visionaries.

Then you have another small group of people who possess knowledge and potential, but are unaware of their own potential and power. Such people need a bit of prodding by life to become aware of their strengths. Often such people stand apart as leaders in a crisis situation.

Then there are the seeking few. They are aware of their limitations. They are aware that they have a lot to know and learn.
Such people develop their potential and abilities as life teaches them. They are willing to learn from others and from life.

However, there is a vast majority of people who possess limited knowledge and ability. But feel that they know it all. The bigots, the fanatics, the conceited… Such people are fools.

And the man who is writing this is probably one of them. He thinks he knows. But really, does he?

Sometimes, when people don't behave the way we expect them to, it upsets us. It upsets us because those people don't do things the way we want them to. Or behave in a manner that don't expect of them. So? Is something wrong with them? Or with us and our expectations of them? Most often, especially when it comes to people we love, it hurts too. Why is he or she behaving like this? This is not "proper". Who is to decide what is proper? Why is he or she doing this? WE don't like it. But is there something wrong with them? Or is it simply their nature?

We all have an attitude. And this attitude is our nature. When we accept someone as a friend, or lover or whatever, we also need to accept their nature. It is their nature that makes them what they are. Some parts of it attract us. Some of it bothers us.

I was thinking about this when I remembered a story which I read in a Hindi primer when I was teaching the children in Roldih. Many of you probably know this story. But it goes something like this:

A long time ago, there lived a wise sage in a hut on the banks of a river. Every morning, the sage would go down to the river for his bath. And then come back and sit in meditation.

One day, while he was bathing, he noticed that a scorpion had fallen into the river. He picked it up in his palm and put it on dry land. And the scorpion rewarded him by stinging him! Anyway, the sage finished his bath and went about his business.

The next day, when he went for a bath, the drama was repeated again. The scorpion had fallen into the river, the sage saved it and the scorpion stung him again!

This went on for three more days! The same scene was repeated every day! But on the fifth day, others who were bathing couldn't resist asking the sage why he was being so foolish. He was a sage. A wise man. Couldn't he see that the scorpion would sting him? How could he possibly allow such a thing to happen to him over and over again?

The wise sage then explained to his fellow bathers: It is in the scorpion's nature to sting. Hence he is living up to his nature. But it is my nature to try and save any creature from drowning. Hence I am doing what is in my nature.

Accepting another person's nature becomes very difficult and painful at times. But we must be true to our own nature too! We can't say we like or love someone and then get upset because they don't behave the way we wish they would. If it is in our nature to love, let us continue loving. If it is in our nature to forgive, let us continue forgiving.

No, no, no, no! No more rona dhona. So please don’t be mislead by the title of this post! I’m just reflecting on something someone just said about being lonely.

I think loneliness is a state of mind. One can feel lonely even in a crowd. One can feel lonely at a party, while playing a game of football, while watching tv with the family… in fact, one can feel lonely anywhere and any time. It’s how you feel inside.

And there are times, even when you are all alone atop a mountain, or diving to the bottom of the sea, or sitting on a lonely beach, or watching the sun rise from behind the mountains… you don’t feel alone at all!!! You’re happy to be part of the universe. A part of the process of life. Of life itself.