sowparnika’s blog

I've heard quite a few women claiming to be 'remote widows' (you know, losing their husbands to the remote control ) and I've read quite a bit about how, like it or not, the male gene is programmed for that love affair with the remote. But I always thought I had escaped the fate, until quite recently.

The change was subtle. I did not even realize it was creeping in. what began as just a minor dalliance during his morning cup of tea, soon blossomed into a full fledged romance. I did not realize how bad it was until a couple of days ago my li'l girl gently pushed my husband off the couch to peer under him.

"Just checking," she quipped.

"Checking what?"

"Checking if he's put down any roots".

I thought that might shame him into hauling himself off the sofa. No such luck. I cannot believe that my husband is turning into a couch potato. Gone are his days of biking, our morning walks, and the ping pong table languishes in our garage gathering dust. He was going to teach the girls to play over the winter break. The nasty cold weather might be blamed for the lack of exercise, but come on, there's a limit to blaming the weather.

And for a person like me to whom watching TV is simply anathema, I find it intolerable. Like my orkut profile claims I'd rather browse or read a book than stare at the idiot box.

Like every ' dutiful' wife I sat and pondered if it was all my fault and I've come to the conclusion that it indeed was. I was the one who arranged for them to meet. It all began last summer.  We had only American channels then ' the usual Time Warner cable connection that curiously was incapable of playing anything but Disney channel. (two girls-parents not that much into TV, minimum homework, 30 minutes of tv time each well you do the math.)I soon realized that Disney was anything but what i had associated with the lovable Mouse and the whacky Duck. While I might never forgive Walt for what he did to a certain little mermaid which incidentally, is favorite fairy tale (the original HCA version I mean), I do have my share of favorite Disney moments. That spaghetti scene in 'the Lady and the Tramp' if you ask me is one of the most romantic scenes ever captured on film. However, I staunchly believe that the 'secret pop star' Hannah Montana is no role model for my girls. Nor do I care much for Raven or her equally obnoxious brother. But those adorable twins: Zack and Cody and the long suffering Moseby well, that's another tale, and I fear I digress.

Coming back to my tale, we soon decided that enough was enough. It was high time they started watching some Malayalam channels for some cultural influence from home. I had enough of her belting out " pumpin' up the party now". Maybe i could get her to hum a few mallu songs. First we tried one of those internet subscribed mallu channels. But it got to be a bit tedious, having to connect the laptop to the tv and switching screens and cables and what not.  The idea soon lost its charm. And I did not hear my daughter humming  'natha brahmathin sagaram '

Then I slowly mooted the idea of a dish antenna and Indian channels. He was totally against it at first. But one fine day he decided we could go for it.

"Let's do it. We'll get a dish antenna and cut the American channels. We'll just retain the basic channels. Then no more Disney. "

Wow! I was thrilled. After mush discussions and consultation, we decided to go for the Asianet -Amrita combo. Idea star singer- all those puranic serials- the shot of spirituality from Amrita - movies. Those were the deciding factors. As a bonus, a couple of Hindi channels were thrown in too. Now maybe the girls will get a good dose of Indian culture. Of course, none of those dreadful tearjerker serials of course. The TV would be strictly off during those hours.

The antenna came by courier. My husband and a couple of friends, after a day's toil managed to position it and soon we were receiving Indian channels on our TV. It was a Sunday and there was a nice old Lalettan movie on Asianet. 'Unnikale oru katha parayaam' I think. After ten minutes my little one wanted to surf channels.  She found the Hindi channel. 'Salaam Namaste' was on.

"Hey that looks nice!" that was the older one.

"Yes deedi let's watch this."

I am sure the trendy clothes and the catchy music caught them.

Hmm, well, err, I let that pass. Oh, from tomorrow I'll make sure they watch something more enriching.

From the next day I tried getting them hooked on 'Sreemad Bhagavatham' and 'Devi Mahatmyam'. I failed miserably. Though they did show some interest, the timings were bad. After being draconian about their bed time at 10 sharp, I couldn't ask them to stay up till 11 watching TV. So I gave it up.

Oh well anyway, long story short ' they don't watch much of TV. Nor do I find the programs particularly 'culturally enriching'. Uh, you know what I mean. I don't want to explain which aspect of Indian culture includes nubile and not so nubile young things in barely there costumes cavorting on stage with equally 'misclad' guys. (Yea, so I am a prude. SO ..? I am a mom too remember, and it's a mom's privilege to be a prude in certain things)

But all along, someone else was silently being reeled in. Slowly, steadily, stealthily, till he was totally hooked. 'chakkinu vachathu kokkinu kondu'.

So here I am or rather me and the kids, left bereft. But I'll take care of it. If I could bring it in, I can take it out too. So am starting to work on it. I'll have those channels thrown out soon. Let me poison his mind. (hee hee I feel an evil cackle coming on)

Oh but just a moment, did I just hear my daughter hum a tune? Sounded awfully like 'kolakkuzhal vili ketto "

Hmmm, let me consider things for a while. Maybe I'll just go for a TV curfew time first.

PS: What's with the title you ask? Well, Alakananda is one of the leading news anchors on Asianet and a hot favorite if Google is anything to go by. You wouldn't believe the number of people who hunt for her online, and most of them land on my blog. So I have no complaints. So I thought I'll just give the title to my namesake. Come on, it sounded good to me.  You don't have a problem with that do you? Hey , its my blog remember?

PPS: just realized why the ‘blame it on…’ phrase just sprang to mind when i thought of a title for my post. i’d read madhavji”s post ‘blame it on december’ just a couple of days back. thank you madhavji, you along with a smart news reader were the inpiration for my title. i hope you don’t mind.