Where do I go, Dad, for my undergraduate school?
Where ever you go, be prepared to take good and ugly with it, but ask yourself before going ' where do you belong!
If not to all, most parents face this situation irrespective of their country of origin. Issues/arguments that I wish to bring forward can always be debatable.
95% of the students around the world pursue their undergraduate program in the country they live or the culture they belong. Speaking specifically, Americans, Japanese, English, French, Indians, Germans go back to their respective country if they are outside their home country such as Middle East.
Ask yourself, why do American boy or girl chooses not go to England for undergraduate school? Here is rational and same is applicable for Indian kids not going to US
While you are finishing 12th, that's time you are becoming an adult, and developing your own identity in a society you belong to. As an adult you have your own views on culture, movies, art, philosophy, politics, religion, food, travel, social issues and above all, biological need to be in close proximity of opposite sex friends, socializing, dating and in general having fun in an environment that you relate to.
All the above issues can only be enjoyed in a place where you belong to, where you are not an ethnic minority, where your voice will be heard, where you can be part of a movement (like Rang De Basanti), where you can be part of social change without being singled out! And above you, you don't have to unlearn your culture to learn something new, but you can enhance it, you can improvise it and you can reform if or be at least part of that movement.
If you live where you belong to in your formative years, it helps you to understand your identity as well your relation with outside world, families, friends and society in general.
If will also answer if you should give up inherited culture or jump the ship and catch the Trans Atlantic Titanic which may not be sinking but the journey will certainly be confused, isolated, not part of the main stream and all along your formative life you spend time in adjustments.
I am not going to dwell into how fast India is changing as it is very evident and today no one in the world would like to miss out that boat.
Let's take some micro issues:
I don't like the dirty toilets/street/building in India so I am not going to India
Look at the caste system in India and the problems of communal riots in India etc so I am not going to study in India
America is so advanced and whole world goes for education so I want to go .
Above issues are not the real issues but myopic view of India. They are irrelevant in bigger scheme of things.
Families migrated to US in 70s, mostly for family reunion or to pursue higher studies (not undergraduate school) and their children have no choice but to become pseudo American (they call themselves American, and American's classify them as Asian American like African American or Latinos) trying to fit into a system with a life long stigma that they are visible minority and have to fit into this country because parents migrated ' not because they have chosen.
Let's assume for a while that an Indian boy or a girl from Dubai goes to US/Canada for undergraduate school.
What will be the chronology of events that may follow (Its not a one way ticket, but it may as well! Parents and kids, please note)
1. Admission in to reasonably good state or private university (total expense for four years will be approx 80 to 100KSD)
2. Two years of post graduation or employment in US.
3. May or may not decide to come back to where parents are stay put.
4. Assume one decides to live in US after under graduation ' gone for ever away from friends, family, culture' lost for ever in a different culture, not only yourself but for generations. Irrespective of status of your siblings or parents. Just ask yourself ' WHY?
5. All along university days, struggled to fit in predominantly not your society, tried to make some Indian friends, keep hiding while watching India movies or having Indian food because you can't have it as main stream or otherwise try becoming like an American kid ' As if you will become one in four years!!
6. If you decide to come back to Dubai (CDBD, Confused Desi Back in Dubai) or India, you are like a dumb kid with US degree but confused all the time, what is right and what is wrong, without any network, without any ideology.
7. Oh, I forgot to mention about East Coast weather do read up yourself if you plan to live rest of life their. (Most of the good universities are based in East Coast)
Lastly, if you wish to pursue advanced education, US offers wonderful opportunity to fulfill your dream in each and every subject that you can think of. It is highly recommended and post graduate degree will open up the whole world for you, not just India or US!
