Though this post begins with couple of lines on cricket, it is not really about cricket. That is the beauty of a blog, isn’t it? There is no editor to yell - This is not about cricket, so it cannot go under ‘Cricket’ category. I am the Writer, I am the Editor and I am the Poster. Eh, am I a poster? No, definitely not. Then being the man who is posting, I am the post-man. Hmmm…no. Whatever, you get the drift.

I had worked myself up to such an extent thinking of unthinkable thoughts that it made not only me to quiver but even the chair on which I had parked myself. The thoughts, which as I have mentioned, and which have made you thinking thoughts about what these thoughts are, are not thoughts meant for those with weak hearts, if you know what I mean. West Zone needs just 150 odd runs to win the Duleep Trophy against South Zone with Yousuf Pathan batting on 84. If that is not worry enough, Cricinfo announces on its home page that Laxman is a doubtful starter for the 1^st Test against South Africa. My index finger had started developing a six-pack after the constant pressing of the F5 button, and the function key was looking more like one of those old worn-out slippers you wear while going to the Pazhavangady Temple, the kind that not only discourages the professional chappal-purloiners, but which gives them such a rude shock that they are forced to retire from their respectable profession. But the pathetic look of the F5 key didn’t draw any sympathy from me and I proceeded to exert so much pressure on it that it hid itself in the unknown depths of the keyboard and refused to come out again. All this efoort just to see what’s the latest news on the Indian middle order.

I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t catch any sleep yesterday night without the nightmarish visions of Dale Steyn and Morne Morkel running through an Indian middle order which read M Vijay, S Badrinath and Rohit Sharma. The tension was really getting to me and I was wishing some moron friend of mine would turn up so that we could have a sub-intelligent discussion on non-cricketing matters that will do a world of good for my mental well-being, when who would give darsan but a friend of mine from school days who perfectly met the specifications mentioned above.

The sight of him reminded me of an incident which happened some 10 years ago. This chap had just returned from some hitherto unknown corner of the world (to me, not to him, else how would he have gone there? He he he), and with that bubbly affection you have towards a friend with whom you have shared many a ‘kappalandi mittai’, he came along to pay me a visit, complete with his entourage consisting of his wife and a kid. And as is the norm when videshi indians pay the poor swadeshis a visit, with a flourish he conjured up a phoren plastic cover and beckoned his daughter and issued instructions to the effect – ithu mama-kku kudu amma (which roughly translates to - drop it into the outstretched hands of that pathetic looking uncle).

Innumerable questions started popping up in my head or mind or wherever, somewhere inside, you know – What valuable secret gadget was the cover concealing?, Was it anything useful?, Was it an electronic gadget?, or Was it one of those useless showcase items? Looking back, I now feel that the worry I have now over the Indian middle order is nothing compared to the anxiety I was experiencing then over the contents in that packet. It seemed I might have a nervous breakdown. The kid was looking at me as if I was some curious specimen. As if reading my mind, my friend sagely offered help – It is a very expensive mug.

All the pressure that had built up inside me due to the suspense escaped like air from a pricked balloon, to be replaced by righteous anger. A mug? And an expensive one at that? He has the gall to present me with a mug. Without any attempt at hiding my indignity, I told him with as much of non-chalance that I could muster – Oh a mug? I bought one for Rs 5/- from Chalai last week. I didn’t expect it, but the information sort of startled the poor chap. He turned to his missus and said – A mug for Rs 5/-. That is so inexpensive. I think we can buy a dozen of those and take them back.

Back to that god forsaken corner of the world, I thought. At which point, he turned to me and said, I never knew you used a mug.

Huh? I have been using one for years and why should it surprise you?, I asked. How did you manage without a mug before going to that corner of the world?, which I left unasked.

I will show you the one I have been using all along, I said and rose from my chair. We all marched upstairs, like an army, well-disciplined synchronous steps pounding my newly laid floor tiles. We reached the destination and the commander of the army, which incidentally happened to be me primarily because no one else knew where that treasure, the mug, was, ordered the army to halt. I then opened the door slowly to reveal the treasure. There it stood, in all its glory, gleaming partially. Bright orange in colour, well in patches, dark patches here and there and faded lightish shades of orange all over. A gnarled veteran, it stood proudly, under the faucet. A faucet, you see. Which reminds me of the time when I was in school and our family went to visit some relatives either in Chennai or Bangalore. It was time for me to bathe and I went and told the aunty who was manning, or is it womanning, the kitchen that I cannot open the pipe. And this in English. With all my cousins in that house conversing in English, I didn’t want to be left behind. I had spent a good half-an-hour coming up with this – cannot open the pipe – sentence. My enthusiasm for any further adventures in English was immediately doused by my cousin sister who said – You idiot, you should say that you cannot turn the tap on, not that you cannot open the pipe. Left me slightly embarassed, you know. And now I am talking about faucets. Impressive, huh?

I am becoming a serial digressor. Back to the story. I proudly looked around, only to witness a look of horror, or was it pity, or a mix of both on the faces of the spectators. It was the turn of the kid to speak – Uncle, what we have brought is a coffee mug, not a plastic mug for the toilet.

Sorry folks, couldn’t help it. The idea occurred today morning, you know where.

Meanwhile on the cricketing front, no news can shock me anymore. Wriddhiman Saha making his debut as a specialist batsman in place of Laxman. A like for like replacement, what?

And in the Duleep Trophy final, Yousuf Pathan has been dropped 5 times, 5 lives. 4 more of those and they will have enough evidence to disqualify him alleging that he is not a human, but of the feline variety, the one with 9 lives. And SZ would be champions.  

This blog has been jolted, or should it be prodded, back to life by the unstinted efforts of 2 fine friends – Ravi and Warrier. Thanks guys.

And as a tribute to them and some of the nice friends with whom I have had healthy project discussions on cricket, er..well that is healthy discussions on cricket under the pretext of project meetings, I thought the first cry on rebirth of this blog could be reminiscing a bit,  a stroll or two down the memory lane, what?

What prompted this toddling along the memory lanes is the awful feeling you get when you are surrounded by a bunch of EPL T-shirt wearing representatives of the younger generation who, even when they have absolutely no business in doing so, don’t have any reservations about passing comments on cricketers and cricket matches. It does give you a rude jolt when you find cricinfo scorecards peering at you from their monitors. Don’t get me wrong. I have the highest respect for anyone who uses office resources to follow any sport, even if it is a World Championship of ‘kuttiyum koalum’. There is nothing like sitting in cozy air-conditioned offices of the company and contributing your bit to make sure that not even an iota of the data link bandwidth goes wasted.  After all, the company is paying money for the internet connection and you have to show some semblance of loyalty by utilising it to the maximum. Maximum Utilization is a wonderful term I picked up from my Industrial Engineering graduation days. Nice one that. Can be used to hoodwink your boss or even the client sometimes, though nowadays ‘effective utilization of resources’ seems be have gained upperhand. I am digressing.

So back to the subject of the woeful, or is it awful, time I have been having of late surrounded by these specimens who incessantly talk about the transfer of some thotti. Baffled me a bit, you know. Then the huge TV screen in the pantry, in all its kindness and benevolence beamed an image of a guy running around a soccer ground with the word Totti plastered across his T-shirt. Enlightenment. I felt like Buddha under the Bhodi tree. Reminded me of the time some 15 years back, when my mother excitedly told my sister who had just got back home from college that Shanti’s father is not her real father. The plate fell from my hand and the dosa went tumbling into the stainless steel container which was carrying the day’s sambar. What the hell, I thought. Not in our neighbourhood, they are a decent family. But the juicyness of the information helped me overcome the grief of losing a crisp dosa to the depths of Sambar. I was about to embark on an interrogation of my mother to get more of the interesting news, when I was struck by the non-chalance of my sister. No shock, no expression of horror. Just a mild curiosity on her face. Did they show who it is then?, she asked. Show? show where? it’s surely not on the national news, I asked. My sister threw me a glance that seemed to suggest that I am the most pitiable creature on earth. Don’t imagine juicy stories, we are talking about the serial. Aha. The same Budha under the Bodhi tree feeling.

I am digressing again. So, as I was saying, the excruciating circumstances left me pining for those wonderful days back in 2000-2001 when all my team members would assemble in my cabin and we would have very productive project discussions on why S Ramesh should be persisted with even after a couple of failures and why W D Balaji Rao, he of the sledging-Steve-Waugh-in-a-tour-game fame, could be tried for a test match. By dint of some extremely fortunate circumstances I had some sort of a managerial position and so had been assigned a Manager’s cabin, which had been so imaginatively designed by some good soul. The boundary walls were a couple of inches taller than the normal software engineer’s cubicle which made it perfect to follow the cricket matches in the manager’s cabin and have lively cricket discussions, so that a pleasant time could be had by all. And if my memory serves me right, the project we were working on was aptly named BAT, an apposite nomenclature, no not because it reminded you of the flying variety. And when Harbhajan squeezed out that winning run in Chennai to win India  the series, we left no one in doubt that some earth-shattering incident had occurred. For a moment we forgot that I was no Vice-President of the company sitting in a glass cabin. Enquiries inevitable followed as to what was the reason behind our building-shaking howls and shrieks, to which one of my imaginative team members offering such a straight bat that even Dravid would be impressed, said that those were whoops of delight in tackling a particularly troublesome RMI callback which had been giving us a headache for 2 days. That not only silenced the higher-ups, for they had no idea about RMI or callback (not that I had much idea either, I had to ask this straight-batter what it was all about, not that his explanation was of much help), but they were impressed too that we had cracked some rather tough technical problem.

I was brought back to the present by a rather loose comment from one of those EPL T-shirt wearing kids, something to the effect that Sehwag was useless and should be dropped. We, the generation who learnt cricket in the early 80s, can only tolerate so much. My blood boiled and I shot off my chair like Agni-III. I saw some sheaves of paper titled Quality Management Plan. I have never seen a document with that title, though part of every project’s document pile, being really used by anyone during my 13-year long software career. At last there is going to be some use now, I will shove it down the throat of this kid who was a blot on the cricket followers gang. As I grabbed the papers, a word shot out of them at me – Metrics. Which made me consider a particularly important metric – my would-be victim all of 6 feet and I, all of around 2.5 feet. My blood went back to cooler temperatures from boiling point and I went to the pantry for another cup of coffee.

The T20 Championship has opened the eyes of many. In its own way it has also shown up the limitations of the 50 overs format. The shorter format means that the sides are more evenly matched than in the 50 overs format. And in the event of a one-sided contest, the whole thing gets over in 3 hours ' it doesn’t drag on for a whole day.

Test cricket is the real deal. Nothing can match the charm of a test match with its ebbs and flows. And T20 seems to be the tool to bring in new fans. Where does this leave the ODI matches? In the trash bin. Well, not entirely.
It can still retain its place if:
1. The BCCI doesn’t organize a 7 match ODI series every month
2. Cricket Australia doesn’t organize a triangular tournament every year that runs for 2 months
3. ICC doesn’t insist on including the minnows in the world cup and have it run for 2 months

A real good tour would involve 3-5 tests, 3 ODI matches and a couple of T20 matches. Short and sweet. But ICC cannot be expected to be that radical. So the chances of the ODI matches being forced upon cricket fans will continue. But for how long? The T20, a format which the BCCI was fighting to keep out has taken the country by storm. Just look at the kind of interest it has generated in people who have never been interested in cricket. On the day of the final when India was playing Pakistan, everyone headed home early - eventhose who had never uttered the word ‘Cricket’. It was wonderful to see the fan base of our great game growing. What was even more heartening was the
fact that even when it was competing against the daily soaps on different channels, the women, who make up most of the soap viewership group, were not averse to preferring the T20.

The beauty of T20 cricket is that, unlike the other innovative formats that had cropped up over the years like Super Sixes and Max Cricket, there is absolutely no change in the rules under which this format is played.

The 50 overs format has a lot of limitations. The primary one being that a match could lose its competitiveness as early as the 30th over of the first innings. The very fact that ICC Technical Committee keeps on introducing new rules to inject artificial excitement in the ODI format is an acknowledgement that it is not such a great product after all. PowerPlays, SuperSub and what not. The best format will always be the one which doesn’t have artifical restrictions introduced.

Now that T20 has been such a great experience, it would be wonderful if the artificiality is taken out of the T20 format. T20 would be an even better product if the field restrictions are done away with. Let the bowlers breathe easy. Let the T20 follow the same rules as a Test Match when it comes to field restrictions and number of bouncers per over. It will not make the T20 format any less exciting.

“If I had been healthy I think I would have won, definitely.”

That was Serena Williams after losing to the versatile Justin Henin.
Very much Gracious in defeat, I guess.

Which takes my memory back to the second test match between Sri Lanka and  South Africa at Supersport Park, Centurion in 2002.
South Africa were chasing a small total of 121 in the fourth innings of the test.
But Dilhara Fernando had other plans.
His searing pace accounted for 4 South African batsmen and they were left tottering at 73 for 6 before Boucher, McKenzie and Pollock came to their rescue.
Alongwith the hostile bowling of Dilhara Fernando, the match was made all the more memorable by the mimicry skills of Kumar Sangakkara.
He was constantly chattering behind the stumps and the stump mic volumes were turned up.
It will be an understatement if I say that the TV audience were entertained.
When Shaun Pollock came out to beat, Sangakkara was nicely warmed up and what followed was truly hilarious.
Sri Lanka had won the Morocco Cup in August that year by beating South Africa in the finals.
But after that defeat Shaun Pollock did a Serena by saying that the conditions did not really suit them and that their focus was mainly on the World Cup which was to follow.
When Sangakkara started mimicking Pollock’s Tangiers performance behind the mic, even Pollock burst out laughing.
And Sangakkara went on to add: Learn to be gracious in defeat Shaun.

The BCCI selection committee will announce the Indian squad for the Inaugural Twenty20 World Cup on July 7th.
Ideally the selectors should be using some imagination in selecting the squad.
But imagination has never been BCCI’s forte nor has it been that of the selectors.

Most of the major cricketing nations have Domestic Twenty20 championships.
There are Twenty20 specialists in most countries.
But India, as usual is different.
BCCI did organise a Twenty20 tournament, but chances are that national selectors might have given it a miss.
On July 7th, the national selectors will, in all probability, announce the usual ODI squad for the Twenty20 World Cup.

Twenty20 cricket is not a case of hit and giggle, as is being made out.
It requires a lot of skill.
Harbhajan once said that Twenty20 cricket will witness murder of spinners.
The reality has been quite the opposite.

England has been the home of Twenty20.
A look at what has been happening in the domestic Twenty20 championship in England over the last 3 years gives a very good idea of what type of players are successful.
The surprising fact is that spinners have been the most successful bowlers in Twenty20 cricket.
A super slow off-spinner, a forgotten legspinner and two left arm spinners have been winning games for their respective counties.
Jeremy Snape, the Leicestershire captain is probably the most stingy bowler in Twenty20.
His super slow off-spin ensures that the basmen cannot use the pace of the ball to score quick runs.
Chris Schofeld and Nayan Doshi have been winning matches for Surrey on a regular basis.
Chris Schofeld, once touted as England’s answer to Shane Warne and unceremoniously dumped from the England team and Lancashire thereafter has made full use of the long rope provided by Surrey.
Not only has he been picking wickets, he has been miserly too.

Nayan Doshi is the most successful bowler in Twenty20 history.
He is first man to reach 50 wickets in the format.
And, as of now, he remains the only one.
What should be of interest to the Indian fans is the fact that he happens to be the son of former India spinner Dilip Doshi.
Though he grew up in London, Nayan Doshi debuted in First Class cricket by playing for Saurashtra in the Ranji Trophy tournament.
He has been a regular in the Surrey team for the last two seasons.
In the 2006 Ranji season, he played for Saurashtra.
Which would mean that he is eligible to represent India.

The Twenty20 tournament to be played in South Africa is a World Cup, not a set of exhibition matches.
Nayan Doshi, with his experience and success in Twenty20, should be in the Indian team for the Twenty20 World Cup, provided he is eligible and willing to represent India.
Performance in county cricket obviously counts, at least with this selection committee.
Dinesh Mongia and Zaheer Khan made it back to the Indian team on the back of stupendous performances in county cricket.
There is no reason why Nayan Doshi should not be considered based on his performance in England.
Or for that matter Murali Karthik.
He won a Twenty20 match last week for Middlesex by claiming 3 quick wickets.

But then the national selectors have their own unique way of selecting the team.
The can’t run, can’t walk, can’t bend down, can’t catch, can’t field, won’t bowl above 125 kph phenomenon, Munaf Patel is injured.
Else he too would be on the flight to Jo’burg.

BCCI has announced the list of contracted players for the 2006-2007 season, of course with only 3 months remaining for the season to end.
The BCCI (Dilip Vengsarkar and Niranjan Shah) has come up with the graded contracts after painstakingly going through the performances of the players for the season Oct-2005 to Sept-2006 in great detail.

The test statistics for the 2005-2006 season of the middle order:

Player: VVS Laxman
Matches: 11
Runs: 589
HS: 104
Average: 36.81
100s: 2
50s: 3

Player: Sourav Ganguly
Matches: 4
Runs: 155
HS: 40
Average: 31.00
100s: 0
50s: 0

Player: Sachin Tendulkar
Matches: 9
Runs: 335
HS: 109
Average: 27.91
100s: 1
50s: 0

Based on the above statistics, BCCI decided to downgrade Laxman to Grade B, while Sourav Ganguly and Sachin Tendulkar were awarded (or rewarded) Grade A contracts.

Way to go, BCCI.

A scene from India’s training session in England.

With no coach being appointed and the manager Chandu Borde dozing off, the senior players have taken it upon themselves to give individual attention to the new comers like Rohit Sharma and Piyush Chawla.

The youngsters are delighted that none less than the two legends Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly have taken them under their wings. From the other end of the ground, Rahul Dravid keeps throwing worrying glances at the Legends.

Rohit Sharma cannot control his enthusiasm and asks: Sachin, how do we tackle the moving ball in England

Sachin growls: No one adresses Sachin Tendulkar by his name

Sorry sir, Rohit Sharma says sheepishly.

Sachin seems satisfied.

Immediately Rohit Sharma asks: Sir, why do you refer to yourself in the third person

Sachin is pleased: Good, how to tackle the moving ball and such batting skills you can learn from your captain. Now Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly will give you tips on all-round development. Coming back to your question, if Michael Vaughan can do it then so can Sachin Tendulkar

Do what?

Referring to oneself in the third person. Ok. Now the first lesson that you kids have to learn is that you should always maintain a very good relation with all the senior cricketers - past and present. Always address them as ‘Sir’. Make sure you maintain a list of the most prominent cricket personalities so that you can buy them gifts when you return from an overseas tour. You never know who will become a selector in the future or form part of the innumerable committees that the BCCI will constitute after every tour.

But how will it help me?

Of course it will help you…Remember the third test againt SA…

Yes sir…we lost the test because of slow batting…I mean the pitch was difficult for batting

It was a very difficult pitch to bat on…If it didn’t look so when SA were batting, that was because our bowlers were bowling fulltoss after fulltoss…But everyone blamed Sachin Tendulkar for the defeat…But Dilip uncle knew the truth

Who is Dilip uncle?

You don’t even know this? Our chairman of selectors…You are touring England because of him…else Badri…Anyway, coming back to the SA test, Chris Harris was bowling really well

Sir, Chris Harris plays for New Zealand…it was Paul Harris

Yes..Paul Harris is a great bowler…the best left arm spinner in the world because he really troubled Sachin Tendulkar

Yes sir

As I was saying, when the whole nation was blaming Sachin Tendulkar for the defeat, only Dilip uncle undertsood the pains the great man took to negate the threat of Harris and Dilip uncle rewarded such selfless cricket by making Sachin Tendulkar the vice-captain

Yes Sir..I will always keep this point in mind

The second lesson is to maintain good contacts in the media… Sourav Ganguly will talk about that part

Sir, I am a great fan of your batting

Call me Dada

Yes Dada

Always maintain excellent relationship with the media…Make sure you have at least one friend in every major media house..print as well as electronic

Yes Dada

And don’t forget the commentators …There will be a lot of former cricketers who are commentators now…Always approach them for advice on your batting, bowling, fielding, anything

But Dada, not all of them are good

I never asked you to implement their advice…Ask for their advice regularly..That will keep them happy…And they will always talk about you in glowing terms..it also helps that most of them have no idea about what they are talking about

And never ever go anywhere near Sanjay Manjrekar…He is too critical of everyone including you-know-who

You mean Lord Voldermot?

What do you mean? I was referring to the great man standing next to me…Make sure you always ask for batting tips from Sunny uncle…Remember this…just ask…don’t implement…else you will score 36 not out in 50 overs and will never play ODIs again

Yes Dada

Also maintain a very good relation with Ravi bhai..He is a bit like Manjrekar, but his employers will make sure that he doesn’t ask any unnerving questions

Yes Dada…but every media house doesn’t have a cricketer on its rolls

That’s fine..You have to make friends with all the journalists…See how it helped when I was chucked out of the team…There were only 5 people from my street demonstrating against it…But these ultra-modern studios..Couldn’t believe my eyes when the guy who has a tea stall on my street was shown burning Greg’s effigy in Chennai…He has never gone out of Kolkota

Yes Dada…I will make sure I have a friend in every TV channel

Not just TV channels, you need to have friends in all major newspapers…

Sachin Tendulkar chips in: Make sure that whenever you are nearing a landmark like a half-century, century or a double-centruy, forget everything else…You have to safely reach the landmark first - that is the first lesson Sunny uncle taught Sachin Tendulkar…And if you have friends in the media, they will do the rest …You need to know how to subtly manipulate the media..Remember the test against Pakistan when Sachin Tendulkar was batting in the 190s and the captain declared…Agreed the strike rate was not great and double century could have been achieved far more quickly, but still a personal double century is bigger than a team win…Sachin Tendulkar didn’t say much during the press conference..just “I am disappointed”

Yes Sir…Very Valuable lessons Sir

Make sure if there are any matches against Zimbabwe or Bangladesh, you score maximum amount of runs…And again leave it to the media…

Make sure you identify the present and former players who are powerful and always sing their praises

Yes Sir, in the present team, you, Dada and the captain

The captain is not powerful..but he may become a commentator in the future…so make sure you keep him in good humour…Look at Yuvraj Singh…He hasn’t done anything of note with the bat in the last 1 year…But he supported Sachin Tendulkar in the media when Greg Chappell said something nasty about the great man…And he got his reward for that..He got promoted to Grade A when the contracts were announced…

Yes Sir…

And for the non-Mumbaikars, if possible try to get a contract with the Mumbai Ranji team…there are now 5 Mumbaikars in the team…Jaffer is really giving headaches to Pawar uncle and Dilip uncle..He scores only once in a series - even if it is against Bangladesh

Ok go back to your training..Seems the captain is getting suspicious..

Yes Sir..Thank You Sir..Thank You Dada

There are some cricketers who never get noticed. Even if they score
attractive centuries. There will always be someone else who will hog the limelight. Rahul Dravid had to endure this during his initial years. Ian Bell is going through a similar phase. He has been one of the most consistent batsmen for England, yet whenever a batting slot needs to be created for a returning star, his name is the first to be on the chopping block.

Ian Bell is a wonderful batsman to watch. No power hitting or wild slogs. Just touch batting at its best. Add to that his skills as a close-in fielder. Fielding at short leg is an art. Not everyone can be successful there. Just watch video clippings of Yuvraj Singh, one of India’s better fielders, fielding at short leg in test macthes and dropping catches in dozens.

And inspite of all these, it is strange that the British media and the cricket lovers don’t think very highly of Ian Bell.

He also comes across as a thinking cricketer. Usually the syndicated columns of cricketers are not even worth a glance. They, or their ghost writers, write the obvious. There are no insightful articles. In such a scenario, it is refreshing to see Ian Bell write so beautifully about the technicalities involved in fielding at short-leg.
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2007/06/13/whatever_brian_close_thinks_th.html

As Dravid has come out of the shadows of his peers and has become a towering figure himself, Ian Bell may also one day not just become the mainstay of England’s batting but also be recognised as one.