stacysin’s blog

I’ve been working in the current company more than 10 years.  Over the years, I served different bosses as a secretary.  Every two to four years, I changed new bosses.  Most of these men are nice, kind with “small hearts” (they used to acknowledged each other).  At work, no hangy-panky but outside the office they are really fun-loving people.  Most importantly, there are very lovely husbands and fathers. 

Almost four years in another post.  Life is really a challenge.  Meeting datelines, running and analysing data.  Work more than 16 hours that including skipping lunch breaks and sacrificing sleeps.  I realised that life can’t move on in such way anymore.  Sometimes, it’s feeling a drag to go to the office.  Knowing that tons of works ahead never can be finished.

Taking holiday breaks is so impossible.  Because my boss doesn’t believe that the annual leave is my entitlement.  It’s under his “mercy” to approve before I could go.  Seriously, at one point I feel like throw in that damn resignation letter. 

After consideration, I think I should change the way I handle my office works and my relationship with my boss.  Afterall, the company gives good benefits, nice learning environment and many other fine souls around.  Why not just give a try to change my thinkings, lowering down my expectations, see things in a different prospective and communicate my feelings as much as I could to my peers and boss.  I speak up my mind and my dissatisfactions, improve the way of doing things.  I consider that many things are in shape, although it is still a tough job.

Here I came across an article on the newspaper to share with iLand friends to ponder over when that question “shall I quit?” flashing…

TIME TO MOVE ON?!  Five signs tell you that it’s time to seek greener pastures.

“When is it time to look for a new job?” is a question career coaching clients ask me.  I always tell tem that whatever they do, they should not remain miserable.

Everyone has their ups and downs at work.  Some weeks you are super-productive.  other weeks, not so much.  But how do you know when it’s time to really make a move — updating your portfolio and beginning the official job search?

Here are five signs that should point you in the right direction:

(1)  YOU DREAD GETTING OUT OF BED
Do you repeatedly hit the snooze button?  Do you have an overwhelming desire to remain buried under the covers, far from demands, deadlines and clamouring co-workers?  One of the biggest red flags of job dissatisfaction is an unwillingness to face the day - not just some mornings, but every morning.  What is your body trying to tell you?

(2)  YOUR WORK RELATIONSHIPS AND PERFORMANCE SUFFER
Remember when group projects were productive, water-cooler chat was a pleasant repose and happy hour truly was happy?  If lately you find yourself avoiding certain people and tasks, slacking on your reviews or dreading the annual company picnic, chances are you’ve lost that loving feeling for your jobs.

(3) YOU BECOME “SOMEONE ELSE”
If you feel like you can’t be yourself at work and have become a “pretender”, don’t shrug it off and don’t blame yourself.  Every company’s culture is different.  Yours may not be aligned with who you are as a person.  Be aware that there are professional people out there who embrace the same goals and values as you do.  It may be time to seek them out.

(4)  YOUR JOB DOESN’T MAKE USE OF YOUR TALENTS
Perhaps you’re an advertising executive who has always wanted to be a chef.  Perhaps your job title is “co-ordinator”, but you feel more like the creative type.  It’s never too late to look in a new direction in terms of your career and future happiness.

(5) YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME GRUMBLING
People may love to commiserate over frustrating aspects of our jobs.  But if most of our hours at work are spent feeding negative thoughts and generally complaining,
that’s a huge sign it may be time to pack it in.  Find a new career in an environment that feels more rewarding and in line with your talents.  You can do it.

If you have done all you can to improve things, but your job still makes you miserable, do something about it.  Take a few steps forward each week.  Compile your portfolio, and update your resume.  Seach the career websites to see what’s out there.  Take a few personality tests to help you identify your strengths. 

When we feel unhappy or unsatisfied about things, it’s safe to say it’s time to find something out there that’s better suited to us.  Where do you want to go next?  All the best for a rewarding and fulfilling career doing what you love!

– article by Hallie Crawford visit her blog at www.halliecrawford.typepad.com.

Nowadays, it is so difficult for me to trust anyone around me.  Perhaps I betrayed by many people.  It is tough for me to stay positive and gain confident anymore.  Sometimes, I even feel tired staying on guard against people around me.  The safer place is on my bed, the smell of my polster, my pillows my quit-cover, my bedsheet, nonetheless the shrill chirping sound of crickets repeatingly within me.

In the Bible, Jesus said to love my neighbour as I love myself.  Sometimes, it is so hard to practice as such. HELP ME LORD, GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO LIVE IN CONFIDENCE again?!

Till I watch the movie, AVATAR, recently. A science friction movie written and directed by James Cameron.  It gave me another perspective in life.  Looking at Jake Sully, a paraplegic former marine replaced his late twin brother, a scientist trained to be an avator operator, to go to a strange Earth-like-Moon planet known as Polyphemus.

With his inability he was able to overcome many obstacles, although people around him, included the Na’vi (the tall blue-skinned species in Polyphemus), called him “Moron”.  He never gave up himself, his believes, goals and destiny. 

Maybe God want me to see this perspective through the movie.  My husband and some friends also watched the same movie, however, they didn’t grasp and share the same punch-line of the story as that I did.  Just don’t understand why….

In the movie, the Na’vi have the wormy thingy on their “pony-tails” that connect to the animals, trees and even the ground.  This way they could communicate their emotions and their thinkings with the animals, trees and the ground.  And vice-versa.  The nature in Polyphemus helped Jake to become wiser, to lead a proper life and how to love.

There’s a saying “looking at the stars in the sky and feet the ground”.  Standing on earth with my bare-foot and feel the grounding to gain my confident to face and trust the world.

REMINDER for myself, HOW TO LEARN TO TRUST AGAIN:

(1) Recognize the need to trust again. Some people fool themselves into believing that they do not need to have close relationships in their lives. However, human beings are social creatures, and need one another. Without trust, you cannot have a close relationship. Without a close relationship, life can seem empty.

(2) Acknowledge areas in which you already trust. Many people, especially those who experienced deep betrayal in childhood through abuse, believe that they are unable to trust anyone in any fashion. But this is simply untrue. Even the most jaded person generally trusts the waiter to bring him food in a restaurant, or the mail carrier to deliver the mail to his mailbox.

(3) Understand that one person does not have to meet all of your needs. Many people search for that one person with whom they can share their entire heart. This is not necessary in order to learn to trust again. What matters is that all of your needs are met. You can accomplish this by trusting different people with different needs.

(4) Look for people who are trustworthy. The way a person treats others is a good indicator of how she might treat you. If she tells you the intimate details of another person’s life, she is likely to betray your confidence as well. However, if she never says an unkind word about another person, she is unlikely to speak poorly of you to others, either.

(5) Ease into a new relationship slowly. Start by sharing small confidences and see what happens. If the person breaches a small confidence, you do not want to trust him with a larger one. However, as the person shows he is trustworthy in the smaller things, you can feel more confident about trusting him with the bigger things.

(6) Trust yourself to be okay if you are betrayed. In many cases, the fear of trusting another person is more about your own fear of not being able to handle a betrayal. If you fear you will fall apart if the other person breaks your trust, you will be less likely to trust again. However, if you are confident you are going to be okay even if the other person lets you down, it will be much easier for you to learn to trust again.

(7) Be patient with your progress. After you have been betrayed, it can be a challenge to learn to trust again. Give yourself the time and space you need to ease back into trusting another person again.