Skip to content


Party on Pork, Says Madam President

The Presidents around the World are supposed to be solemn looking men or women.  In case they are the ceremonial Heads of State, they are required to pass their time by being the Chief Guests of the government sponsored functions. They normally make none-too-strong statements which generally reflect the policies of the executive of the country. 

In short, the non-executive Presidents are supposed to be boring, uninspiring but very, very dignified.
Such restrictions aren’t there for the Presidents who are the Executive Heads. President Zuma of the  RSA, ex- President Bush of the USA and President Bashir of Sudan beat the stereotype of a President.
President Zuma is in news for having fathered his 20th child and President Bashir is charged with war crimes in Darfur and is declared WANTED by the International Criminal Court. Whether these gentlemen are good or bad Presidents, I have no idea about that, but one thing that is certain is that they are quite different from the rest.
And I really don’t have to talk about the one in Bush!
 
But Christina dear beats them all!
My attention is drawn towards the lady President of Argentina who is determined to replace Diego Maradona as the most talked-about entity from Argentina. 
Mrs. Christina Fernandez is the 56 year old  President of Argentina for the past 2 years. She succeeded her husband who was the President for a little over 4 years. The husband is now called the First gentleman of the Republic just as the wife was called the First lady of the Republic when the husband was the President.
But succeeding her husband through  a landslide election victory isn’t what make Christina a rather different President. It is her recent  remarks that get her that tag. 
She has been exhorting her countrymen to eat more pork in place of beef. Argentines are big-time beef eaters and don’t ear much of chicken or pork and in an effort to promote pork eating,  Mrs. President went gaga over pork in a recent gathering.
She told her audience that she had spent a full week holidaying and eating pork and she and her husband experienced so much increased libido that they had the most fun filled  and satisfying time of their lives.
Argentina has been experiencing a rapid decline in cattle population and with the citizens continuing to ignore other forms of meat means that a major promotion of other forms of meats is required to bring some kind of an equilibrium in the meat supplies.
What can be more forceful endorsement of pork than a good looking (though on the decline) strong-headed female Head of State to say that “pork could be a substitute for Viagra”
It isn’t known if her husband enjoyed her wife’s endorsement. 

Posted in Social.

No comments



Subir Raha- Business leader Extraordinary

My friend Somesh sent me an SMS on 1st
Feb which informs me that Mr Subir Raha, the former CMD of ONGC has passed
away. Many images immediately came to my mind of the man whom I had known as a
Business Leader who was most analytical, most intelligent, most fearless and
most hardworking in his approach to his assignment. He was also unbending in
his stance, if it came to the matter of his values.

If Subir Raha had got into academics, he
would have become the Best teacher in the world; if had chosen to straddle the
private sector, he would have retired as the CEO of one of the Top Ten Fortune
500 companies in the world; if he had chosen to be a policeman, he would have
terrorised the criminals like no one else can; if he had wanted to write a
book, he would have earned a Booker at least and if he had chosen to seek his
fortune in the world of film making, he would have been an Oscar winner for
sure.Such was his passion for everything that he
set out to do that he would settle for nothing short of being the Best. 

It is likely that if Mr. Subir Raha had not
been passionate about his work at the helm of ONGC, the much valued PSU would
have fallen into an abyss.   

I first met with Mr. Subir Raha in 1988 at
Hotel Jahanuma Palace in Bhopal. Mr. Raha was the Deputy General Manager in
Indian Oil Corporation and was heading the LPG division in the Head Office. I
was a rookie Operations Officer at one of the LPG bottling plants then. He had
come  to lecture us on Efficient Plant
Operations. In 1988, there used to exist a long waiting list for acquiring a
LPG connection. To meet the growing demand, the plants were always under
pressure to fill more and more cylinders. Bypassing the safety norms was always
an option but there were hard-core operations leaders like Mr Raha who would
allow none of that to happen. “Production Must, But Safety First” was his
mantra!

Subir Raha was the quintessential
Operations man who could never give in to the Sales guys.“The main responsibility of an Indian Oil
Operations Officer is to ensure that all safety procedures are being adhered to
in his shift,” He boomed when I asked him as to what was my (an Operations
Officer) primary objective in a shift operation.

“Then Sir, who will go after the bottling?
Who will ensure that the shift targets were met?” I asked.

That he said was equally important but,
“Safety came first” 

I met Mr Raha the second time when I was
still an Operations Officer in 1990, but he had become the General Manager- LPG
now. Once again we met in a training session and I remember that the training
was on PLANTDOC, a computer software training for implementing the computerization
programme at all LPG bottling plant. The training was conducted by CMC Limited
and in spite of the Best efforts of the external faculty, most of us failed in
the Final test.

Mr Raha had come from the Head Office to
review our progress. He was furious at being informed that most of the young
officers had failed the test. He asked for the names of the failed officers to
be called out. Eighteen names were called out. He then asked for the names of
the successful officers to be called out and three names were called out. I was
surprised to find my name among the successful candidates. I knew that I had
scored only 48% marked and failed to secure the minimum qualifying marks of
50%.

Mr Raha asked the Training Manager to
extend the training for all those who had failed and admonished the group
angrily.

He then asked the group to applaud for the
few successful officers.

I was flush with shame. I wanted to tell
them all that I too had failed but my fear was getting  better of me. Somehow I mustered all my
courage and raised my hand.“Yes. Any thing?” Mr Raha’s voice boomed.

“Yes Sir. I want to say that I too have
failed. I am sure that it was by mistake that my name was listed among the
successful candidates.” I said.

There was pin drop silence in the training
hall. After a while Mr Raha said, “OK. Then you also stay back for the training” 

I felt greatly relieved, as if a huge
burden was off my chest.

In the evening, during the TEAM dinner, Mr
Raha came to me, shook hands with me, congratulated me on my truthfulness and
asked me to keep that spirit alive. 

 I met with Raha again a couple of times. He
left Indian Oil (where he became the Director- HR) to become the Chairman of
ONGC. Many people tipped him to fail. He was a man who always stood up to the
diktats of the unions but being the Chairman was an entirely different ball
game, they said. The strong Officers’ Association and the tough trade union of
ONGC will make him whimper and in ONGC, Mr Raha will meet his waterloo. Thus
thought many of his detractors. 

But Subir Raha was made of a sterner
stuff.  He collaborated with those who
responded to his appeal for shaping up and he confronted those who obstructed
his journey onwards. He fought off the challenges from one and all, including
the most severe challenge from the Ministry to add the Maximum Market Value to
ONGC.

Such dedicated fighters are a vanishing
breed in Indian PSU. 

Rest in peace, Mr Raha. I salute your doggedness
and your fighting spirit.

Posted in Business.

No comments



5 Questions for Thakur (!) Amar Singh ji

Dear Amar Singh ji,  


Welcome back to the centre stage. As a common man who enjoys 
watching what politicians do best- politicking, I must say the political 
arena was so lack lustre without you.
You brought the sham glam to politics like no one else. Who else would 
have propelled a faded star like Jaya Prada and a jaded housewife like 
Jaya Bachchan to Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha respectively? 
So I missed you Amar Singh ji and I say “Well done. Welcome Back!”  
Let me first start by thanking God for restoring your health back to you. 
You must have read in your High school that “If wealth is gone,
nothing is gone; if health is gone, something is gone BUT if character is
gone, everything is gone.” 
God knows how much wealth you have and I have no quarrel with you
on that. I am happy that your health is now back and would forever 
pray that your character remains as good as ever.  
Homilies finished Sir and I have some questions to ask you and I hope that
you will answer them in usual “devil-may-care” style.  

Sick, Sidelined or Sulking? 
You said Sir that you were giving up all the party jobs because you were
no longer as fit as a fiddle. That was your official line any way. Then why 
is that when Mulayam Singh ji, your elder brother has accepted your 
resignation, you have started sulking? You are talking of looking at
“grand political experiments” and even contemplating to commence a 
month long hectic tour of the state of Uttar Pradesh. So please let us know 
Sir, if you are now happy because you have been relievedof all your 
responsibilities OR are unhappy because your resignation has finally
been accepted?

Capitalist amongst Socialists OR Socialist amongst Capitalists?
You really galvanized Samajwadi party into a big Regional force by 
injecting funds from your Capitalist friends. People like the Ambani and
the Roys were at your beck and call. Many old Lohiaites felt that you
really re-branded the Samajwadi party of simple Mulayam Singh ji into 
a party of rich people. You were a man with the Capitalist streak, a 
tycoon in a Mercedes Benz in the party of cycle-wallas. And now you 
are talking to connecting with the real Samajwadis like Raghu Thakurs 
and what have you? Why Sir? Why can’t you be happy in the luxurious 
lap of the Ambanis and the Roys? Are you then a capitalist among the 
socialists and a socialist amongst the capitalists?  

Will you really not bad-mouth Mulayam Singh ji? 
You recently said on TV that you wish that God to burn your tongue if 
you ever spoke against Mulayam Singh ji. O! Sorry, of late you have 
been dispensing with the suffix of “ji” when referring to Neta ji. Within 
10 days of watching you make that pledge, I see thatyou have already 
started attacking your mentor. 
You are already making snide remarks against him and have said that 
you will try to become a true Samajwadi, instead of being a 
“Mulayamwadi” 
Tell us Amar Singh ji, if Mulayam Singh ji is not a Samajwadi? If 
NOT then what is he? Throw some light, I beg! Many people say that
it is not a question of “if” you will wash Neta ji’s dirty linen in public 
BUT the question is “when” will you start doing that? Do you concur 
with the common public perception Sir? 

Are you for Smaller States or NOT?  
Some weeks ago, I saw you on TV saying that demand for smaller 
states would nullify the good work done by “Sardar Patel who like the 
great leader, Bismarck of Germany, unified India by joining together 
small princely states into big states.” You have now done a complete 
flip-flop now and are now supporting smaller states like Bundelkhand, 
Harit Pradesh and Telangana 
Can we know Sir that what will be your position after a few more weeks?  

Why have you prefixed “Thakur” before your name? 
I have known you till now as someone who always positioned himself 
as a champion for the cause(s) of Muslims and backwards. Suddenly 
you have taken on the mantle of being a “Thakur”. 
You have been using words like, “being a kshatriya, it is my duty to look 
after my followers!” Your blog also has “Thakur” prefixed before your 
name. Why this love for your caste with which you never earlier 
identified with?
Is it that you now feel that with the marginalization of Rajnath Singh 
ji and Jaswant Singh ji in BJP and with the relative sidelining of 
Digvijay Singh ji in Congress, you can fill in the gap of being a Rajput 
leader in the Hindi-speaking belt?  

Dear Amar Singh ji. I like you quite a bit for the way you combine 
straight talk with characteristic cunningness to further your political 
game but of late I see that your straight talk has been replaced by a 
self-defeating game of brinkmanship and the cunningness has given 
way to self-inflicted sense of martyrdom. 
And these two will not make a very Good copy out of you Sir!



Posted in Politics.

No comments



French Ban on Burqa, Amar Singh & Sanjay Dutt

http://datastore.rediff.com/briefcase/676A5A5F616B595D65706673/d3ow552ucivsmob5.D.0.The_bull_charge.jpgBurqua Versus Breast Power: Sarkozy likes the latter

France is considering banning wearing of burqua or niqab in public. The French parliament would vote on this proposal, mooted by the ruling party, later this month.
Before this ban proposal came into limelight, I didn’t know that France had already banned wearing of head scarf in school.
When I think of a woman from France the first image that comes to mind is that of Madam President who once bared vital parts of her body for a magazine.
I associate the French women with mini skirts, cleavage showing low-cut upper body shirts. I think of them having no qualms if their spouses have multiple relationships as long as they can keep their harem of boyfriends.
I never thought that in France I would see women wearing scarves or veils. That was what was happening in Turkey, I thought.
While French President has rewarded a former pin-up girl with the position of the First lady of the French republic, he wants to take away the basic freedom of wearing a head scarf or a head cover from women who would rather not show of their breasts in public
He wants to impose a fine of 700 Euros on them.
I always thought that this Sarkozy was bit of a crazy guy. The current events confrirm it

Amar Singh & Sanjay Dutt: Chal Merey Bhai

Amar Singh, the only English speaking neta of Samajwadi party has quit from the position of being a  General Secretary of Samajwadi Party.
Not that being a General Secretary of Samajwadi counts much there days. As a matter of fact it never mattered in Samajwadi party. Only two people mattered in the party- Mulayam and Amar.
Amar’s badey Bhaiyya Mulayam never ever objected to Amar’s whimsical manners. So Amar could give Lucknow ticket to Sanjay Dutt and when the latter was disqualified from contesting, he gave it to his’s wife.
Amar could make his Bhabhi, Mrs. Jaya Bachachan, a Rajya Sabha MP. He could field Jaya Prada from Rampur and his writ ran large in the party. 
Mulayam Singh was happy to let Amar go on with his dictatorial ways as long as it brought much needed funds and added to the glamour quotient of the party. He could silence his junior brother Shivpal Yadav or his cousin Ram Gopal Yadav without much problem.
The things changed when Mulayam’s son, the foreign educated Akhilesh Yadav came of age.
Taking advantage of Amar Singh’s sickness, Akhilesh increased his clout in the party. He fielded his wife Dimple from the Farrokhabad during the Lok Sabha bye election. Dimple lost to Raj Babbar, a former Mulayam disciple who left the party and joined the Congress bandwagon as he felt stifled inside a party run by the unstoppable Amar.
Samajwadi Party is supposed to be run in a socialistic manner where the ordinary workers get their due share in the process of decision making. In reality nothing of that sort is prevalent in the party. While Mulayam Singh’s son, nephew, brother and cousins occupy the top slots in the party hierarchy, the remaining positions that matter are doled out by Amar Singh in favour of his filmy friends. Grassroot workers are always treated with disdain.
The revolt by Mulayam’s family against Amar Singh has nothing to do with ideology or any difference of opinion.
Sanjay Dutt, the loveable Munna Bhai of Bollywood has also followed his “badey Bhai” Amar Singh. Sanjay says that Amar Singh put him in the position of National General Secretary of the party and when Amar has quit, he has no moral right to hang on to that position.
My heart bleeds for the millions of Samajwadi workers. A bollywood actor can become their leader without even having contributed anything to the party. When will the grass root workers get their rewards!
And for Sanju Baba, he has done well by following Amar Singh’s footsteps.
A Samajwadi party district President from Western UP sent me an SMS saying that the two Zeros (Amar and Sanjay) would add to become a ZERO.
But who will now chat with Barkha Dutt on NDTV is my question to him. 
Cheers!

Posted in Social.

No comments



Nothing Wrong with “Good People, Great Nation” Theme

Earth, a Shopping arcade and all nations are its decorated shops

Recently the Government of Nigeria has launched an image correction campaign that aims at wiping out the wrong image that some people seem to propagate about this great country. However the exercise has drawn a barrage of criticism from quite a few people. I have been living in Nigeria for past few years and I feel that the branding exercise is a step in the right direction. I want to tell with full conviction that my support to the campaign is based upon healthy logic and lengthy research.

All nations need to be branded because nations compete with one another for several things. If the world has become a global market then the nations are the brands that compete with one another to get the most Television rating points (TRPs) on this amazing television that this globe is. Nations must compete to get the maximum hits in this world of internet marketing and all nations must vie with one another to get the maximum footfalls in the crowded shopping mall that the Planet Earth represents.

It is impossible to achieve the maximum TRPs, the most hits and the highest footfalls if you aren't even a brand.

Let me explain this further. A place in the UN security council, a seat in the elite G-20, a status of Most Favoured Nation (MFN) with other nations are some of the positions for which nations compete with one another, knowing or unknowingly, consciously or unconsciously. Nations compete for foreign investments, for foreign tourists and nations do launch campaigns to imbibe a sense of confidence and goodness among its own citizenry. This is what precisely the "Good people, Great Nation" campaign aims to achieve.

Nations as Brand

Different nations have tried to brand them differently. As I rattle these motifs that have come to be associated with these countries, let me say here that these themes started as a ploy for attracting the tourists and the travellers of this world but soon these themes became the face of their respective nations.

So you have Malaysia which is "Truly Asia"; Croatia is "The Mediterranean As it Once Was". Kenya is the "Magical Kenya". Thailand is "Amazing Thailand". And Senegal is “The Land of Teranga”.

Look further in the encyclopedia. Google for more nation-brands and you find that Venezuela is never alone. It is always "Think Venezuela". Romania is always "Simply Surprising". South Africa is always "Alive with Possibilities" and India is now "Incredible India"

So is it not time that Nigeria also gets a theme?

But most detractors of Nigeria have always been calling it a land of corruption, a land of people who make a living out of Yahoo scams. The propaganda has been so shrill that I am afraid that even the average Nigerian has come to believe it!

So it is very timely on the part of the Nigerians to say, "Hey Guys. Stop painting us in such bad light. We are good people and a Great Nation". This I believe is the right branding strategy for the time being.

The Economic significance of a nation's Brand Value:

Let us take a hypothetical case to know how important branding is for a nation. Imagine that a large food processing company targets the West African market to set up a huge factory to cater to the growing demand in the region. As there is an ECOWAS treaty among the countries in West Africa, the stuff produced will attract ZERO import duty if it is manufactured in Nigeria and is exported to any of the ECOWAS nations. The market is largest in Nigeria and the logistics cost of moving goods from factory to the markets would be lower if the factory were in Nigeria. So it is very easy to say that the company would set up its manufacturing base in Nigeria. The truth however is that the company may choose to go to Ghana.

Why, you may ask?

Why not? The manufacturer would tell you.

It is a matter of image. People perceive Ghana as a more stable country. Nigeria is perceived to be a nation where thefts, robberies, day-light murders are common place. Foreigners have this image but this image is not formed on any research. It is based upon media reports and is a product of collective lamentations of Nigeria's own children about how bad their country is! The image that goes around in everyone's mind is that Nigeria is a country where ten fraudulent activities take place every 2 seconds, where billions of Naira are spent on maintenance and upkeep of roads that exist only on papers, where pothole filling passes for borehole digging, where contractors use one part cement and mix it with ten parts of sand to build the housing complexes and where every email offer that comes to your inbox is 419!

There can't be better theme than "Good people, Great Nation"

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Nigeria is a nation of honest, sincere and hard working people. In my four years in Lagos and around, I have roamed around everywhere. I have been to the Seme Border and the Idiroko Border. I have been to Ajah and I have been to Epe town. I have slept in Ijebu Ode and I have played in Agoshasha. I have been to Abule Egba, Abule Taylor, Shasha, Aguda, Ijebu Mushin, Siun junction, Ikorodu, Ejigbo, Mosimi, Pagbon, Adatan and Lafenwa. I have been to Ajegunle and I have been to Ijanikin. I have moved around in Okada, in a yellow taxi and in my new cool Toyota. I haven't felt one bit unsafe anywhere. Well I have felt unsafe in Lagos as the daylight begins to fade but I have felt the same way in many other nations!

I have gone about being myself here in Nigeria, just as I did it in India. In a fearless and ethical manner. I have sought help from complete strangers and got it for free.

I see the poor of Nigeria toiling the same way they toil all over the world, from Malaysia to Pakistan; from Iraq to Turkey; From South Africa to Brazil. If all Nigerians were making a living out of fraudulent activities then we wouldn't see the street hawkers running hard to sell their wares, sweating profusely under the harsh sun. We won't see the farmers who give us our daily yam and we won't see the workers who rise at 4 am to be in the office by eight. And most people of Nigeria are like this only. Isn't it?

So if a country has 90% of its population which is hard working and honest under some of the harshest economic conditions then why shouldn't such a country be called a Great Nation? Nigeria is a country inhabited by great people and Nigeria's people are some of the Best people in the world. And that is why none can stop me from calling this country, a Great Nation.

Is it not ironical that a certain small cold country in Europe, where corrupt people from all over the globe stash their ill gotten wealth is considered a paradise on earth?

And people raise alarm when someone terms Nigeria as "Good People, Great Nation".

This is what I mean by the term, "Travesty of Justice".

So "Good People, Great Nation" is a natural slogan for Nigeria. There is no hyperbole here. We are not saying that Nigeria is "Best People, Greatest Nation". We know that no single group of people can lay a claim to being the Best people. No country is full of angels and hence no single nation can call itself the Greatest Nation.

We should be happy with the "Good People, Great Nation" theme. We should believe in it and we should respect this theme.

Posted in Social.

2 comments



“RULE YOUR WORLD” Now in Ghana: My tribute to GLO

Last week, I was in Accra to meet with an old friend. It was my first visit to Ghana. Immediately on landing I was greeted by the familiar GLO hoardings. "Rule Your World" was all over the airport.

That sent me down the memory lane and I thought about my first encounter with GLO.

Circa 2004

I first arrived in Nigeria on the 31st December of 2004. After checking in at a small hotel in the posh Victoria Island, I asked for a GSM line.

Now the hotel may have been small with limited amenities (no proper gym or a swimming pool) but its staff seemed to have the warmest and the most genuine smile, I had seen in some time. Give me a small place with happy staff anywhere and I am happy. As a customer, I don't demand much- a medium-sized room with squeaky-clean bathroom and the noise-free air-conditioner.

The girl at the desk informed me that there were three GSM operators to choose from and that the salesrooms of all the three were within half-a-mile distance from the hotel. I asked her which one of the three was the second largest in terms of customers and she said that it was Globacom GLO. I opted for GLO.

Beyond the Number Game:

I have this strange affinity for supporting the runners-up brand, the one that is the second largest, at least initially. As a student of advertising, I have always loved the tagline of Avis Rent a Car campaign. Avis in 1962 ran an advert, which boldly declared that, "We Try Harder". Avis went on to explain that since it was not Number 1 in the car renting business, it had to try harder. This was a seemingly humble but an adroitly aggressive attack on Hertz that was the number one in the car renting business.

The number 2 man always tries harder and harder and the number one man unwittingly becomes carelessly carefree. I always supported Jimmy Connors and rated him higher than Bjorn Borg, even though the latter consistently won at Wimbledon. Jimmy was the fighter whose career outlasted that of Borg by a good four to five years and eventually Jimmy did go down as the man who won the highest number of ATP tournaments, a record even King Fedrer may never get to break!

I always go for the Number two brand since I always know that it would go out of its way to woo customers and retain them in an effort to overtake the number one brand.

I was also enthused by Globacom bold positioning of itself as a challenger brand to the Number One brand in Nigeria, the MTN brand. GLO obviously had the greatest quality that a challenger can bank upon, the quality of believing in itself.

GLO's self-belief was boldly depicted in it first tagline- "GLO with Pride".

I also remember that GLO also ran an advert when it was furiously expanding its network. GLO's advert proclaimed that "Wherever You Go, We GLO".

MTN runs a tagline, which reads, "Everywhere You Go".

To me, a first time subscriber, GLO wanted to tell that that its canvass wasn't just limited to "Everywhere" but extended to "Wherever".

To me GLO wanted to be Limitless, unbounded, beyond the everywhere of today to the wherever of tomorrow and beyond!

In the world of advertising, the adverts are created by the agencies but the spirit these creative masters represents belong to the brand-owners. When in 1977 Wells, Rich and Green created the tagline, "The Citi never Sleeps" the agency was merely articulating the promise being made by the owner if Citibank. The agency just created a marvelous campaign. It was for Citibank now to live up to the expectations.

When KFC said its products were, "Finger Lickin' Good" it ran a very big risk of being too cocksure of its products. To call yourself "Finger Lickin Good" means that your are promising your customer of your Best efforts and Best results at all time, in all parts of the world. That promise requires a brave heart!

Who can forget the famous tagline, "Beanz Meanz Heinz.” The company Heinz ran the real risk to turning its brand name into a generic name, something that many a marketer may frown upon. The tagline was risky but it paid off. The guts of the brand owners really paid off.

Coming back to the GLO theme, I dare say that GLO did live up to its theme of "Wherever You Go, We GLO" It first set up a vast network that enabled superb connectivity, rich voice transmission quality and then cut rates furiously to make the service viable for the common man. Did it become Number One in Nigeria? Not as yet but to be honest I haven't bothered to check as long as I remain a satisfied customer.

The Current Tagline: Rule "YOUR" World

The current tagline for GLO which has now travelled across Nigeria beckons me to talk about the brand again. GLO dropped the "GLO with Pride" theme a long time back. GLO now says to its customers to "Rule Your World". Mind you that the word "Your" is very significant and is not be read as "The".

When someone announces that it wants to "Rule the World", it begins to sound very pompous. It smacks of imperialistic ambitions, a vision to monopolize the business and create fear in the minds of its rivals and customers alike. It also is a prelude to the demise of such a brand.

In a different context, remember that Japan and Germany had once begun to have the ambition of ruling the world. Both were doomed in the World War and since then have risen again only when they thought of ruling just their own world (and not the entire world) efficiently.

GLO's tagline is full of humility and human values. It asks its customers to define its own world, its own business, and its own sphere of activity and rule it by winning over the hearts. This is the essence of "Rule Your World" motto. Don't try to rule or dominate what's not yours. Forget about ruling the whole world. No single man can do that. Rather carve your own space and then rule it by serving its habitants.

Much like GLO wants to rule the hearts of its satisfied customers by offering more affordable services; it wants the current generation of Nigerians (and now Ghanians) to set high ambition for itself.

This world of high ambition is the world that the students, the lawyers, the artisans, the welders, the taxi-drivers, the engineers, the journalists, the doctors, the housewives, the farmers should aspire to rule. The father must aspire to become the best father in the world. The leader must aspire to be the best leader of his community and the people must strive to be the best citizens of this great country.

This is my take on the GLO's ongoing campaign. This is my perception and if I didn't get it right then the advertisers didn't get it right either!

When Reliance Mobile was launched in India in 2003, its tagline was "Karlo Duniya Muthi Mein", which roughly translates to, "Grab the World in your fist".

This one from GLO goes a step farther. It shows ambition but also defines it well by choosing to be human.

God Bless Nigeria, God Bless Ghana and God Bless GLO in Ghana.

Posted in Business.

No comments



The Rising Population of Nigeria

I am a foreigner living in Nigeria for the past five years. Nigeria is a great country to live in and Nigerians are fantastic people to work with.

Nigeria is also the most populous nation in Africa but most of my Nigerian brothers and sisters are unconcerned about this challenge.

 

The Population Trend: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

The world population in 1998 was 5.93 billion. It rose to 6.71 billion in 2008, an increase of 13.1 %.   In 2050 the world population is expected to be 9.53 billion, an increase of  42%  % over 2008. Please remember that this isn't an year-on-year growth but cumulative growth between 1998 and 2008 and projections for cumulative growth between 2008 and 2050.

Against the backdrop of world population Nigeria’s population in 1998  was 117,599,565. In the year 2008, it rose to 146,255,312, showing a 24.36% growth (as against the world's population growth of 13.1%) . Nigeria was the 10th most populated nation in the world in 1998 but as at today, it stand at 8th position in the world and it is feared that in 2050, Nigeria will climb up to the 7th spot with a population of 264,262,405. This growth of 80.6% population growth by the year 2050  over 2008 is most worrisome to me. In fact it is alarming. But I find that most of my Nigerian brothers and sisters are not too bothered about it. This is one achievement which no Nigerian should be proud of. Just as no Indian should be proud of the fact that his/her country would overtake China before the year 2050, to become the most populous nation of the planet. But the growth in India between 1998 and 2008 has been 18% only and the growth between the years 2008 and 2050 is expected to be 57% as opposed to 80% that Nigeria will exhibit.

 

Are we really aware of the problem?

I have been writing to many editors and columnists to stop their obsession with politics, politics and more politics all the time and devote a fraction of the newspaper space to the issue of population but none listens. Some friends in the media have whispered to me that the issue of population is a highly emotive issue and it is politically incorrect to talk about it.

I find this most strange, to put it mildly. I know that in Nigeria, it very OK to have four children but it is time that people knew that to have four children is having two, too many. The couples must stop at one or maximum two if they want to give their children the best of education, health services and other benefits in life.

Before we proceed further, it would be good to look at a chart below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most populous Nation (1998 –2050)

Ranking

Sr. No

Country

Pop. (1998)

Pop. (mid-2008)

Exp. Pop. (2050)

1998

2008

2050

1

China

1,250,365,515

1,330,044,544

1,424,161,948

1

1

2

2

India

969,153,332

1,147,995,904

1,807,878,574

2

2

1

3

United States

276,115,288

303,824,640

439,010,253

3

3

3

4

Indonesia

207,534,204

237,512,352

313,020,847

4

4

4

5

Brazil

171,201,155

196,342,592

260,692,493

5

5

8

6

Russia

147,813,351

140,702,096

109,187,353

6

9

15

7

Pakistan

139,062,987

172,800,048

295,224,598

7

6

5

8

Bangladesh

131,766,932

153,546,896

233,587,279

8

7

9

9

Japan

126,246,089

127,288,416

93,673,826

9

10

18

10

Nigeria

117,599,565

146,255,312

264,262,405

10

8

7

11

Mexico

97,325,063

109,955,400

147,907,650

11

11

12

12

Germany

82,023,672

82,369,552

73,607,121

12

15

22

13

Philippines

77,740,547

96,061,680

171,964,187

13

12

11

14

Vietnam

77,092,383

86,116,560

107,772,641

14

13

16

15

Egypt

67,610,699

81,713,520

127,563,256

15

16

14

16

Turkey

65,177,181

71,892,808

100,955,188

16

17

17

17

Iran

62,413,149

65,875,224

81,490,039

17

19

21

18

Thailand

60,846,042

65,493,296

69,268,817

18

20

25

19

France

60,534,768

64,057,790

69,768,223

19

21

24

20

Ethiopia

60,483,904

82,544,840

278,283,137

20

14

6

21

United Kingdom

59,035,652

60,943,912

63,977,435

21

22

29

22

Italy

57,550,318

58,145,321

50,389,841

22

23

36

23

Ukraine

49,937,196

45,994,287

33,573,842

23

27

55

24

Congo

48,759,711

66,514,504

189,310,849

24

18

10

25

Korea, South

46,151,512

48,379,392

43,368,983

25

25

42

26

South Africa

43,961,924

48,782,755

49,400,628

26

24

38

27

Burma

43,338,254

47,758,181

54,430,334

27

26

33

28

Spain

39,906,235

40,491,051

35,564,293

28

29

51

29

Poland

38,668,756

38,500,696

32,084,570

29

33

56

30

Columbia

38,466,922

45,013,674

64,977,344

30

28

28

31

Uganda

22,502,140

31,367,972

128,007,514

44

39

13

32

Sudan

32,510,747

40,218,455

88,227,761

32

31

19

33

Afganistan

22,912,814

32,738,376

81,933,479

41

38

20

 

The information has been collated from various websites but the chief source of information is U.S. Census Bureau, International  Data Base

 

 

From the table above we can find that China has been able to keep the population growth  less than 7% between 1998 and 2008 as against 18% population growth of India  and 24% of  Nigeria. The success of China in keeping population growth at such a low level can be attributed to the relentless follow up by the State machinery which levies heavy fines on couples who produce more than one child.

In democracies like India and Nigeria these kind of measure will lead to instant revolt against the state and very rightly so. However from the table above, it can be seen  that even democracies like South Korea and South Africa have been able to keep the population growth less at less than 10%.

Nigeria certainly takes the cake among all developing nations when it comes to  rise in population.  Only Uganda (39%), Ethiopia (36%) , Afghanistan (42%), Congo (36%) grew faster than Nigeria.

 

Any lessons from others?

One needs to know as to how other countries have been able to achieve what Nigeria didn't. To achieve lowering of population growth, the government of India launched a sustained socio-economic campaign to reduce the birth rate (while at the same time reducing the infant mortality). There were incentives to those who adopted family planning measures like male vasectomy and female tubectomy. The contraceptives were made available free-of-cost at all primary government health centres. In spite of the fact that India is a very conservative society when it comes to discussing issues like sex, a series of government paid radio adverts were aired advising people to use contraceptives as a means to limit the family size. There were appeals by the leaders who had strong social influence on the people. Many NGOs were given financial support by the government to help them  spread the message of keeping the family size small. The media played a very active role in educating people about the perils of having large families. Street-plays were organized in the worker colonies to drive home the message of family planning. Specials stalls were set up in numerous village fairs to remind people that if they produced more than two children, they would be adding burden to the nation already burdened by a huge population.

With all the above activities, Indians still  managed to procreate more than the average growth of world population. But what about Nigeria? What have been the combined efforts of the intellectuals, the state, the press and the social reformers in ensuring that the population doesn't grow by leaps and bounds?

From my 5 year stay in Nigeria, I find that Nigeria is yet to acknowledge that the rising population is a problem at all. The general public doesn't seem to be aware that huge population can no longer be treated as an asset. In fact the whole concept of treating large population as an asset was a carefully crafted campaign by the rich countries faced with shrinking population. These rich countries wanted poor countries to keep producing more children so that there was never a shortage of those who were to do the menial, lowly paid jobs. Some countries realized  this in the last three decades of the 20th  century and made an conscious efforts to check the population growth.

Since Nigeria doesn't acknowledge the rising population as an issue worth giving so much attention to, there is an absence of high decibel, high profile, mass campaign to educate the people about the ways and means to keep birth-rates down. When India got independence in 1947 the leaders had hoped that as in the developed countries, with the rapid advancement in industrialization and urbanization, the population growth rate would decline but this line of approach didn't yield the desired result. The Government of India then launched an extensive family planning campaign which reached at the village level. India was able to achieve some semblance of control after pouring in billions of rupees in the campaign. The message of  keeping the family size of four, comprising Mom, Dad and 2 kids, was drummed into the ears of every Indian throughout the sixties, seventies, eighties and it still is going strong. In India, at least in the big and small cities, a couple with more than 2 children is an oddity. This is in total contrast with Nigeria  where the rich Nigerians take pride in counting the number of children they have. Even the educated and working class Nigerians in the age group of 35-45 feel comfortable in having 4 children, unmindful of the fact that with the rise in cost of living and absence of  very strong state social security, they can't guarantee that they would be able to give their 4 children the best of education and health care. I find this disturbing trend in Nigeria, when educated young men and women of my age (I am 44) want to have 4 children. My dad’s generation in India stopped at 2, max. 3 and my generation doesn’t want to go further than 2 (and many are going for just one child). I tell this to all my Nigerian brothers, especially who are less resourceful in terms of money (like the bus drivers, the Okada riders, the housekeepers and the security guards) but they all seem to believe that they are “entitled” to at least 4.

 

What can be done now? Who should do it?

Who then would raise the issue of population and make it important enough so that each and every Nigerian becomes aware about it, begins to ponder over it and eventually tries to empower himself/ herself to be able to ensure that he/ she doesn't contribute more than one or two young lives to the society?

I want to appeal to the most influential social leaders of Nigeria to sensitize their followers about the issue of curbing the fast rise in population. Pastor E. A. Adeboye, the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God(RCGG) has been listed in the first 50 Global Elite listing of U.S. and international news magazine, Newsweek, emerging as the only African on the list now making the waves in the world. If the Reverend takes it upon himself to include in as many discourses as possible the need to keep the family size small, the chances that his followers will follow his advice are very bright. Similarly there are leading icons who can contribute to the issue. Names which come to mind immediately are Professor Pat Utomi the highly respected intellectual whose words are heard in rapt attention whenever he speaks,  Mrs Dora Akunyili whose charisma cuts across all sections of the society, Chief Gani Fawehinmi one of the most respected persons in West Africa. There are young wealth creators like Jim Ovia who are a toast to the middle class men and women who want to think big and do things creatively. There are others people who are popular writers and editors who can do their bit by this writing about this issue in their dailies.

God Bless Nigeria.

Posted in Social.

No comments



10 Reasons Why SRK’s Detention wasn’t a Disaster

Too much heat has been generated and too much dust has been raised by the 60 minute detention of SRK by the US airport authorities. The Page 3 crowd has been vociferous in condemning the "evil empire" and the whole episode is being portrayed as it an assault to India's dignity by some over- zealous US officers. SRK doesn't represent the collective honour of 1 billion people.

( Nor does Dhoni or Rahul Gandhi for that matter!)

I have 10 lines of arguments to prove that SRK's detention is a complete non-issue:

1. A sixty minute interrogation must have been caused by some suspicious aberration on the computer screen of the clearing officer. It is one thing by the fans of the Superstar to say that their icon was insulted but come to think of the mental state of the guy who dared to stop him. He felt suspicious about a passenger whose superstardom in India was none of his concerns. In the matters of security, one must err on the side of caution. Better to search a celebrity rather than letting a suspect go out and cause the mayhem.

2. If a former Defence Minister of India can be searched and a most revered ex-President of India can be frisked, then surely SRK can be detained too. Is a film star to be attached more importance than the former President of our republic?

3. Does anyone recall a movie titled, "Sarfrosh". The story revolved around a famous singer from Pakistan who was much loved in India and was a toast to the millions of Indian fans but he eventually turned out to be a terrorist. Now we all know that that was a movie but sometimes the reel life can resemble the real life. If a Hansie Crownie, the much respected South African cricketer can be a match-fixing enabler then anyone can be anything. At least theoretically! Nobody should be exempt from detailed scrutiny if the initial checks point out that more detailed checks are required. After all who could have imagined that the loveable Munna Bhai once kept an AK 47 in his house!

4. OK fine, SRK was detained and interrogated and he came out clean, so why should the matter not end there itself. Is it because there is a certain film "My Name is Khan" that is yet to be released and all the current publicity will help the film which may have a similar theme. Sorry guys, just thinking aloud. No insinuations meant!

5. The recent Hindi movie, New York, portrays the fundamentalists in a rather "none too bad light." It tries to create sympathy for the terrorists by saying that all those who are terrorists are terrorists a result of bashing received at the hands of FBI. And the movie is a big hit, I hear. Anyone by the name Khan from India then becomes a suspect for the US state. I am really surprised that the movie didn't get the condemnation that it deserved. What else do you want the US authorities to do?

6. All the bigwigs of Bollywood are up in arms against the US. They say that US suffers from fear psychosis. That is correct my dear Bollywood biggies. Any country which suffers a man-made calamity like the 9/11 will have fear psychosis. Anything less than would make them more vulnerable and the US is determined to let its people feel safe once again.

7. SRK says that he doesn't feel like going to the US again. Well he can't avoid it. The US represents more than 1/4th of the huge overseas market for Bollywood movies. In fact he shouldn't have made this remark. And why don't you want to go to US? Just because you were detained for 60 minutes. I think SRK made these utterances so that he escapes such detailed scrutiny the next time. Indian film stars find it demeaning to be standing in queues along with the ordinary folks. They would rather strut out majestically letting others gasp at their swagger!

8. SRK felt insulted by being detailed for a routine interrogation! This is most unbelievable. For a man who routinely insults fellow celebrities when he anchors some award ceremony, this was a like him getting a taste of his own medicine.

9. Spare a thought for some of the producers and directors in whose sets, SRK reaches late. They are virtually detained in their own sets by the star's tantrums. Good revenge for them.

10. And finally it's time these film stars started to think of themselves as mortals. From dust we all came and to dust we all shall go. There aren't any superstars really. We are all children of One God. My thirteen year daughter says, "Dilip Kumar who?" when I tell her that Dillip Saab was the greatest actors of all time. In twenty years time, my grandchildren will say, "SRK who?"

So Mr. Khan dear, just chill man.

Posted in Social.

1 comment



No Customer Service without Empowering Frontline

The name is “game”

I bought a branded music system from "game", the biggest shop inside "The Palms" at Lekki expressway, Lagos that sells a variety of things. After enthralling my auditory nerves for nearly six months, the music system went silent.

I remembered that the music system came with one year warranty and my search for the warranty card began immediately but the card was nowhere to be found. The cash memo for the purchase too was not traceable.

I still went to the "game" shop with my music system. When I couldn't produce either the cash memo or the warranty card, the lady at the service counter asked me to guess the possible date of purchase. She then checked the database in her system and found out that the purchase was indeed made for the music system and there was still a warranty on it.

My music system was repaired within 2 hours of my arrival at the "Game" store.

I was ecstatic at the kind of customer service that I experienced that day.

The Arik jolt

Last month I had to travel to Accra on a Saturday morning to attend a conference and come back to Lagos on the following Sunday evening.

I sent my friend to a travel agency office for the round-trip air ticket. Unfortunately my friend had Three Thousand Naira less than the amount needed to be paid for a round-trip ticket. The Ticketing Executive at the counter told my friend that he could buy one-way (Lagos-Accra) and on Saturday morning before boarding the plane, I could get the ticket converted to round trip ticket (Lagos- Accra- Lagos) by paying the balance money at the airline counter at the airport.

The airline involved here is Arik Air, one of my favourite airlines.

When I arrived at the Lagos airport on the Saturday morning, I enquired from the man at the Arik counter the balance that I needed to pay for the conversion of one-way ticket to the round trip ticket. Much to my surprise, I was told that there was no such provison of conversion and I needed to buy another Accra-Lagos ticket.

"But this would set me back by more than Fifteen Thousand Naira as the round trip ticket is so much cheaper that two split one- way air-tickets." I cried.

"Sorry Sir. We have no authority to convert a one-way ticket to a round-trip ticket," said the sympathetic looking man at the Arik counter.

And the Customer's verdict

While I acknowledge that Arik is a very good airline with an outstanding safety record, I dare say that it is not a very "understanding" airline when it comes to customer service. Not because it has the people with the wrong attitude but because it hasn't empowered its frontline. I don't see any logic behind the frontline staff not empowered to convert a one-way ticket to a round-trip ticket. Arik staff could have converted my one-way ticket to round trip ticket. This was an additional sale to them anyway since I could have flown some other airline for my return leg of the journey in the absence of a return ticket.

This is where the "game" store did remarkably well. The rules of the shop were clear but the frontline Customer Care was authorized to make an exception (which didn't have a financial burden on the company) in the larger interest of business.

I leave this piece with following thoughts

"Frontline staff authority dilution,

Customer Service remains illusion"

Posted in Business.

No comments



Why the Global stock meltdown makes me happy?

Why the Global stock meltdown makes me happy?

Before the readers reach out to pelt stones at my phantom, I
would make four reasonable statements:

 

  1. I am not a sadist who feels happy that the millions of dollars which people invested in the stock market have vanished into thin air.  But I do strongly believe that the millions that we think that the markets have lost were never there in the first place!  I always feel happy if
    what is an illogical phenomena  comes to a logical end. To me the ever upward movement of stocks was illogical and bizarre and hence its abrupt end makes me happy.

  1. I believe that money must be earned by the sweat of one's brow
  1. And any extra money that doesn't come from (2) above should always come from a believable and sustainable source and must be in realistic magnitude.
  1. And finally I would like you all to read this article without any bias. Just
    imagine that you have some money to invest and you are just looking at where to put it.

If that is OK with you folks then let's proceed and examine my theory that the Global meltdown is really good for the mankind.

  • Let's assume that you, a honest lower middle class man,  have 2,000 USD to invest and you are advised to invest in a company "LLL" which has been giving dividend of 1$ per share for the past 3-4 years. The face value of each share is 5$ and hence the dividend per share is 20% on face value. 

  • You are happy to invest in this company as you reckon that the country that you live in has an inflation rate of 8% 
    and if you invest in LLL, you will be able to beat the inflation by
    12 percentage points on dividend income alone. Bingo. Perfect logic and there you go to LLL with a view to buy 400 shares with your 2,000 $
  • But when you reach the office of LLL, you come to know that the company isn't offering any share and that only way you can get these shares is by buying them from the stock market and the price of each share is 50$ . You take out your calculator and punch the numbers. For 50$ each, you will get only 40 shares and the dividend that you are likely to get is 40$ on an investment of 2,000 $. This means that you will get only 2% return on your investment every year, which is well below the rate of inflation of 8%.
  • At this point your stock consultant tells you that  the company is making an earning per share of 3$ per share and out of this 1$ is usually given to the shareholders as dividend and the balance earning of 2$ is ploughed back into the operations. So though your dividend income would be only 1$ per share, your book income would be 3$ per share. He then tells you that you live in a developing economy and the prediction is that the Market index would double in the next 365 days. The economy is growing, the and the Foreign Financial institutions are making a beeline for picking up the best performing stocks and this will boost the market value of your stocks. He tells you that dividend income and even EPS are concepts that have become a pass.  Market valuation is the only thing which is important. He even tells you that best companies in the world are not the ones with highest revenue or with maximum profits but the ones with highest market capitalization. And he  assures you that after one year the stock of LLL would be valued NOT at 50$ per share but at 100$ per share.

  • The middle class man inside you wants you to stay away from the investment but the plethora of magazines that you have been reading and which have some smiling and some grave pictures of stock market gurus telling you that dividend is nothing but it is the Future price of share which counts and it is not what the company is today that matters; rather it is what the company can be in its chosen field tomorrow is all that matters; the management is good and the industry is expanding; that the company LLL is diversifying into so many developing markets and so on and so forth.
  • No one tells you that the market value of the stock is only in the books and unless you actually sell the shares and realize your money, it never would be truly yours. No one says that what doesn't come to you as dividend may never come to you after all, should the markets change. But so tempting is the prospect of buying a share at 50 $ and selling it at 100 $ a years later that you forget all fundamentals. You forget that no business can easily double its profits in an year and if there was one such business, so many people would rush into that business that the competitive edge of the pioneer would be lost in no time.
  • There is a voice of logic that is telling you to stay away from the market but eventually  the greed prevails over logic. You
    invest not only your 2,000 $, but you borrow from friends and banks and start investing in the most organized and structured gambling games called the stock exchange.
  • You started investing in stocks thinking that you are the protagonist of the script around which the company's theme is being woven. So you invested when the stock was at 50$ and then you invested again and again until the price touched 100$. The only way the share could go was UP, you thought! You took loan against your parental house and mortgaged your family gold to take the loan.
  • To me this was pure greed. You wanted your money to go up three times and you waited the share price to hit to that level. Your greed was growing. You went to your banks and asked for loans for investment in stock market. The banker gave you the loan too. You invested in mutual funds and you thought that the "unearned income" would go up and up. But you forgot that this was a large scale gamble being played in the open with full support of the financial institutions. As long as the market value of your scripts was going up, you didn't have to bother.
  • You forgot that easy money was akin to an evil allure which could consume you. And finally it did. The NASDAQ fell and Nikkei dropped, the FTSE dived and the Sensex crashed and you found that the LLL stocks that you bought for 100$ are now at 40$.
  • You started as a "cautious" investor who wanted to treat only the dividend income as your own. Then you became a "realist" who treated EPS as your income. Then you became a "gambler" who was just following the stock value without any regard to any arithmetic or any accounting practice.

You now take solace in the fact that even the Warren Buffets,
the Mittals and the Ambanis of this world have also had their net worth halved in this global meltdown. It is true but this bravado may make you look even more stupid. The Buffets, the Mittals and the Ambanis didn't sell their family gold to acquire their assets. Their halving of the net worth wouldn't impact them as they never will have to bother about paying the milkman at the end of the month. Their children's school fees have been paid for the next 6 generations to come. They will not have the bank clerk knocking at their doors for the payment of the monthly instalment.

But it is you who must dread the prospect of receiving abuses from the milkman who must be paid. You must surely pay the second term fee for your son who is attending to the senior secondary school. The bank
clerk may not come though as he might have lost the job, in the meltdown.

I wish the governments never succeed with their interventions

in this crisis. When the government talks of raising the fertilizer subsidies for the poor farmers in the third world countries, the Capitalists of the all the
worlds unite and raise hue and cry against it. But the most capitalist of all the governments, the government of USA is readying to bail out this gambling industry again. The real axis of evil is not being allowed to die a natural death. If the evil rises again, it could kill the mankind.

May the markets never reach the heights again! Let hard work
and real commerce get a real chance. Amen!

 

The author is a freelance writer. Reach him at sudhir_bisht@rediffmail.com

 


Posted in Business.

No comments