sudiptasdiary

Hi All,

Sorry for being out of iland for so long. I don’t have any solid excuse for this absence. I thank you for stopping by and missing me. I will catch up with all of you soon. Thought of writing up something about Mr. Bhaat again. Hope you enjoy it.

Cheers

Mr. Bhaat is busy with loads of work. He is suddenly speaking less and dreaming a lot. And he always remembers to share his dreams with me.

He has dreamt separate incidences for the last few weeks. After sharing each of his dream he would ask me "Why do you think I dreamt this?" I would always answer, "I am not a dream expert." I told him that and prayed that he continued to dream.

Dream 1

Mr Bhaat is a sober, quiet guy, with a good sense of humor, the kind of people who will make your stomach ache with his anecdotes, but would himself keep a somber face.

I doubt whether he has ever killed a mosquito, so I was amazed when he shared this particular dream with me.

He dreamt that he was busily crashing sherbet bottles of a street peddler. He was accompanied by a ragamuffin (this was the same man who sits nonchalantly on Durgapur Bridge in Kolkata with some plastic bags as his only possession). He had the guts to do this on the opposite of a police station. Suddenly a group of police came and wanted to arrest him. Mr. Bhaat would not accept their arrest and was only convinced when they promised to take him in an Innova. At the police station he was given a choice of 1 month jail or Rs. 50 fine. He obviously chose the later and was freed with a grand farewell. It seems all the policemen stood in a row and shouted in chorus "Assame (culprit in Bengali) is freed with a charge of 50 rs. And a Maruti 800 is waiting for him to take him home". Hearing this Mr Bhaat was really angry and chose to pick up a cycle in favour of the Maruti 800. He went back home riding the bicycle fuming that they would offer an Innova to arrest a culprit but would offer a battered Maruti 800 when that same culprit is freed.

The next morning he narrated the entire incident to me. All the car poolers had a hearty laugh but one question remained, why on earth did he dream this.

One more thing, Mr. Bhaat specially mentioned that in the dream he threw bottles in the air and broke them with a steel rod and it was fun doing it. He said that he shared this with me, because he thought that in the real world only I have the strength to break bottles in such a way if I am angry enough. I still don't know whether it was a compliment or a sarcasm. As usual when I don't understand the tone, I thank them and I thanked Mr. Bhaat too, for sharing this great idea.

I assure you I will try my best control the urge of breaking bottles when I am angry.

Dream 2

Mr Bhaat dreamt that our present office is in financial trouble. And the boss has decided to interview everyone with specific questions. Those who fail will be chucked out. Mr Bhaat appeared for the interview in great trepidation. Boss simply asked him, so Bhaat what is the different between Pascal and Rascal? Pascal is a programming language, and Rascal I am sure you know. Mr Bhaat replied undazed, the difference is perhaps similar to the difference between TCP and Jilepi. TCP is a protocol in networking terminology and Jilepi is a sweet, also known as Jalebi.

I have never heard anyone dream such ridiculous dreams in all my life.

Incidentally on the same night I dreamt that my boss called me and asked me to take the additional work load of 4 of my colleagues other than my present responsibilities.

We are not worried about our job though, I think it is just a coincidence or I am getting infected by Mr Bhat.

Dream 3

Mr Bhat dreamt that he has gone to the office head quarters at US. The CEO of the company invited him for lunch. Together they set off in a futon. The CEO wanted to visit a funeral before their lunch. As they entered the church, the line was long and they had to stand for quite sometime. The CEO cautioned Mr Bhat to walk like Hamlet, because that is the tradition. Mr Bhat was baffled; he did not know how Hamlet walked. One aide from the church came and rebuked Mr Bhat because he was walking normally. Mr Bhat then folded his arms before him, walked on his toes, and looked at the aide for approval. The aide was satisfied and disappeared. When they finally came to the coffin, Mr Bhat realized that the body was none other than Mr Ghosh's, his neighbour whom he despised bitterly. He smiled wickedly and placed a red rose on Mr Ghosh's dead body.

I generally opt for the office car pool. It is easier and peaceful. And another and the most important reason is the co travelers. What a Group and what discussions! A full one hour time pass and memories to relate to.

One such person in the group is named as Mr. Bhaat. (Bhaat in Bengali is a word used for any discussion that is nonsensical but intelligent. It will make people laugh). I would like to share with you the escapades of this person in his childhood.

Mr Bhaat used to stay in a famous hostel. The standard of education of the school is well known and revered. Every product of that school is by default a good student and known to achieve heights in their career. But the school and the hostel had its restrictions and the poor boys wanted to exercise their independence during their holidays.

On one such occasion, Mr Bhaat and his friend were passing through an unknown neighbourhood in search of a book store, and chanced upon a marriage ceremony. The friend looked mournfully at the ceremonial house and doled about the good food they might be serving. "Bhaat, it's been ages since our taste buds had any acquaintance to good food. What do you think?"Mr. Bhaat, replied non chalantly, "Do you want to have your dinner in that house?'

"That house?" Pointed the friend, "but how will we enter there?"

Mr Bhaat went a few steps forward and memorized the name written on the name plate of the next house. He then innocently entered the ceremonial house with his friend.

"Bhaat, what will you do if anybody asks who we are?"

"Wait and watch, assured Bhaat."

The tables were already occupied with people enjoying the wide array of sumptuous food. The air was heavily laden with the intoxicating smell of food. While the desserts were being served an aged man came before the two young fugitives and asked them to take their seats, but on second thoughts he also asked "Though your faces look familiar I cannot identify your parents."

Mr Bhaat quickly retorted, "Mr. Bhattachrayya is our jethu. He asked us to go and have our dinner. This is my friend."
"Oh, ho, now I recollect, so you have grown up quite a bit, and when will your jethu come?"

"He has some guests and will be coming soon."

"Help yourself son," and turning to the friend, "I am glad you came." He then called the main server, pointed towards the two boys, and instructed him to give the two boys special attention.

Mr Bhaat and his friend could not have dinner at their home that day. Mr Bhaat's mother knowing her son, had asked him, "where did you go this time?

I am sure you will be beaten up one day for your adventurous streak."

Mr Bhaat once had only enough money for his bus fare. He was coveting for ram babu's phuchka and did not dare to ask his mother for some money. Just the other day he had seriously hurt the neighbour's cat with his air gun. He still did not know what was all the commotion about. The cat chose his bedside window for all his quarrels and he just wanted to frighten the cat. He never knew that an air gun can hurt that fat and ugly creature. Rama maasi had cried piteously before his mother and highlighted her love for the cat. And how could Bhaatu do such a thing to her cat, "Bhaatu is really going out of your reach didi. I am cautioning you to take care and discipline him." Mr Bhaat's mother was furious and send him to her sister's house. Mr Bhaat was elated.

But the main point is his new plot to escape the bus fare. The conductor asked him thrice to pay for the ticket and thrice he confirmed that his mother is going to pay. Looking at his childish face, the conductor never doubted that his mother was sitting somewhere in the ladies seat and went away. However when his destination came, the conductor now sensed some foul play.

"Khoka where is your ticket and where is your mother?"

"Ma, ma, ma, my mother?" Mr Bhaat started shouting, "my mother has got down before, what will I do?" Saying this he started crying.

The conductor was now dumbfounded, "don't worry khokha, do you have money with you?"

"No, nothing." Saying this Mr Bhaat started howling.

The conductor then gave him a 5 rupee coin and asked him to cross the street and take the bus with the same route number as this. Till this day, Mr. Bhaat makes other people laugh till they cry, with this story, while he sits with a serious and innocent face.

Mr Bhaat has not changed. An engineering degree and a good job has added spark to his calm and relaxed techniques of fooling people.

Here’s a little get to know me fun game…be a sport and please keep it going.
Here’s what you need to do…cut and paste this entire blog (yep…no copyright!) and answer the questions and paste it on your page…at the end name the person you want to tag and leave a message for the person with your link on his/her guestbook page…The next tag you replace the previous person’s answer with your own and tag someone else and follow the same process again…don’t break this…check out what others have to say…AMENDMENT 1…YOU CAN TAG AS MANY FRIENDS…AS U WANT

here goes…
1. How tall are you barefoot?
5 feet 4 and half inches

2. Have you ever smoked before?
yes and coughed a lot and decided not to touch again

3. Do you own a gun?
Yes and all of them say "fire fire", my daughter's gift

4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be?
had? I think I am talking about the present. I take regular sessions for my deteriorating insanity

5. How many letters are in your crush’s name?
he he, I forgot the numbers just now. I told you I am insane.

6. What’s your favorite silly song?
a Bengali song "ke bole thakuma tomar, bayes perie geche aashi"

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water if I have time

8. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
drag on baby, breakfast, tiffin, lunch, kaamwaali, office, little one's school, hubbys office and then oh it's a friday

9. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
I am sane enough to understand that it is a secret

10. Do you own a knife?
Obviously, at least a dozen, of all assorted sizes

11. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
- I have to go to the gym
- then fix those bugs
- got to call titiksha

12. Name the last things you have bought today.
nothing yet

13. Name five drinks you regularly drink.
Water, tea, coffee, any soft drink, nimbu paani

14. What time did you wake up today?
6.15 am

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
ruk ja o jaane waali ruk jaa

16. What song did you last hear?
koi tumsa nahi ….. krishh

17. Favorite place to be?
An isolated beach surrounded by mountains and myself reading a book with a tall cool drink

18. Least favorite place to be?
In a traffic jam when I am getting late

19. Do you own slippers?
A pink one, nice and comfortable and without any noise

20. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 yrs?
hmmm at my home running a day care for street children and rasing my teenage daughter and umm umm God knows!

21. Do you burn or tan?
burn my fingers often while cooking and tan on the exposed body parts

22. Yellow and blue?
Yellow Yellow dirty fellow
I like water so be it Blue!

23. What songs do you sing in the shower?
paani paani re, hai paani re

24. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Snakes and lots of them

25. What’s in your pockets right now?
I am wearing a salwar suit without any pockets

26. Last thing that made you laugh?
My colleague reacting sarcastically to an automated call from Airtel and then singing tum paas aaye

27. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
A pink one with white dots, soft and welcoming. BTW I still preserve it.

28. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Developed a crack on my foot at two places by simply tipping over my own shoes, Thanksfully it was the recent one, otherwise I could write quite a few. I was err rather a quite child

29. Do you wish on stars?
yes, whenever I see one